argument200 互拍。连接。指教。

果小冻UID：208370

ARGUMENT 200 –
Statistics collected from dentists indicate that three times more men than women faint while visiting the dentist. This evidence suggests that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are. Thus, dentists who advertise to attract patients should target the male consumer and emphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients.
提纲：
1，        男人不一定比女人晕的多。总数不知道。 另外，也许这些病人中男人的病情严重的多
2，        男人也不一定比女人更加紧张。也许女人有其他严重的症状。或者女人索性害怕的不去看病了。
3，        广告的效果值得怀疑。首先，病人也不一定很关心麻醉。其次，技术问题更重要。最后，没有考虑女病人的情况。

Based on an incredible statistic, the author assumes people's attitudes towards visiting dentist. In his or her opinion, the reasonable advertisement, which may attract the most patients, should lay more emphasis on the male consumers. However, after carefully analyzing, both the assumption and the suggestion are all open to doubt.

To begin with, the author concludes that men faint more times than women while visiting the dentist, relying on unpersuasive statistic. We cannot help asking, when the statistic is derived? Ten years before or just currently? Since the author fails to mention the time of getting the data, we are really doubtful about its credibility. In addition, the total number of the men and that of the women, who received this survey, are completely under the table. It is entirely possible that the number of men is far more than that of women. And therefore, it is natural that more men faint while visiting the dentist than women. Also, the author fails to provide us the conditions of these patients. Perhaps the average problems of men were more serious than those of women. In short, the author has not provided any detailed and representative information about patients in this survey before coming to the conclusion.

Furthermore, no evidence indicates that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are. Since faintness is not the only symptoms when visiting the dentist, the author should consider more conditions. Maybe there are more serious symptoms in women than in men other than the faintness problem, psychological, displacement disquiets and impedes the effectiveness of dentist's work. Worse off, perhaps those women, who are seriously afraid of having dental work done, refused to visit the dentist. They prefer to stay at home , taking some pills by themselves. Thus, the author should not assume the attitudes of men and women towards visiting the dentist, even though the statistic were true.

Moreover, the effectiveness of the advertisement is rather questionable, since what it emphasize are not surly the most critical factor in the dental work. First, no evidence shows that men’s faintness is due to the anesthetic techniques. Maybe they just dislike the environment or the scent of the room or just the strange smells. Or perhaps some of the characters of men, which are different from the women, caused their easier faintness, such as genes and so on. Second, the author fails to provide any information about patients’ opinions. Whether they are really concerning about the sensitivity of the staffs or not is completely open to doubt. Actually the most consequential thing is the experience of the staff and their working abilities. Additionally, the advertisement fails to consider about the conditions of the female patients. Maybe there are myriads of women patients who are afraid of visiting the dentist, and thus, attracting them is really crucial if the author wants to insure the effectiveness of the advertisement.

In sum, before giving suggestion about how to attracting more patients, the author should provide more detailed and scientific statistic about the conditions of men and women patients. In addition, we need to inform the exact attitudes of patients towards visiting the dentist, as well as the most important factor they concerning about.

智恩UID：2160717

占坐！

智恩UID：2160717

提纲：
1，        男人不一定比女人晕的多。总数不知道。 另外，也许这些病人中男人的病情严重的多
2，        男人也不一定比女人更加紧张。也许女人有其他严重的症状。或者女人索性害怕的不去看病了。
3，        广告的效果值得怀疑。首先，病人也不一定很关心麻醉。其次，技术问题更重要。最后，没有考虑女病人的情况。

Based on an incredible statistic【statistics】, the author assumes people's attitudes towards visiting dentist. In his or her opinion, the reasonable advertisement, which may attract the most patients, should lay more emphasis on the male consumers. However, after carefully analyzing, both the assumption and the suggestion are all open to doubt.

To begin with, the author concludes that men faint more times than women while visiting the dentist, relying on unpersuasive statistic. We cannot help asking, when the statistic is derived【我觉得用conducted似乎更好】? Ten years before or just currently? Since the author fails to mention the time of getting the data, we are really doubtful about its credibility. In addition, the total number of the men and that of the women, who received this survey, are completely under the table. It is entirely possible that the number of men is far more than that of women. And therefore, it is natural that more men faint while visiting the dentist than women. Also, the author fails to provide us the conditions of these patients. Perhaps the average problems of men were more serious than those of women.【这点没想到，学习！】 In short, the author has not provided any detailed and representative information about patients in this survey before coming to the conclusion.【这段没啥问题】

Furthermore, no evidence indicates that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are. Since faintness is not the only symptoms when visiting the dentist, the author should consider more conditions. Maybe there are more serious symptoms in women than in men other than the faintness problem, psychological, displacement【这里是啥意思啊，移植？？】 disquiets and impedes the effectiveness of dentist's work. Worse off, perhaps those women, who are seriously afraid of having dental work done, refused【和前面从句的时态不一致】 to visit the dentist. They prefer【时态】 to stay at home , taking some pills by themselves. Thus, the author should not assume the attitudes of men and women towards visiting the dentist, even though the statistic were true.

Moreover, the effectiveness of the advertisement is rather questionable, since what it emphasize【emphasizes】 are not surly【sure】 the most critical factor in the dental work. First, no evidence shows that men’s faintness is due to the anesthetic techniques. Maybe they just dislike the【cure，加一个】 environment or the scent of the room or just the strange smells. Or perhaps some of the characters of men, which are different from the women, caused their easier faintness, such as genes and so on【基因会导致男女之间在faitness上有差别吗？最好有强有力的证据支持，要不然就说的很泛】. Second, the author fails to provide any information about patients’ opinions. Whether they are really concerning about the sensitivity of the staffs or not is completely open to doubt. Actually the most consequential thing is the experience of the staff and their working abilities.【想得很周到啊】 Additionally, the advertisement fails to consider about the conditions of the female patients. Maybe there are myriads of women【似乎female好些】 patients who are afraid of visiting the dentist, and thus, attracting them is really crucial if the author wants to insure【ensure】 the effectiveness of the advertisement.

In sum, before giving suggestion about how to attracting more patients, the author should provide more detailed and scientific statistic about the conditions of men and women patients. In addition, we need to inform【know】 the exact attitudes of patients towards visiting the dentist, as well as the most important factor they concerning about.

想得还是很全面，如果是限时写得就太棒了！

智恩UID：2160717

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1
谢谢拍砖！

果小冻UID：208370

1，数据的真实性没保证、以及代表性和权威性。
2，男人不一定比女人更容易紧张。首先，只说多三倍，但是有可能在调查中男人的总数比较多。另外，晕不代表紧张，可能是由于其他原因，如maybe they do not like the environment or the scent of the room or other factors.另外，女人可能更加紧张，选择不去牙医看病，或者有其他更加严重的症状。
３，广告也不一定有效。病人真正关心的东西是医生的水平、价钱等。另外女病人不能忽视，要提供男女比例的具体数据，不然可能失去女病人。