issue59 请指教。望留下连接，好好给你拍拍。

waterwwUID: 181213

Issue59
Too much emphasis is placed on role models. Instead of copying others, people should learn to think and act independently and thus make the choices that are the best for them.

1.models的优点。
2. 依赖models的坏处。
3.自己的thinking and acting才能做最好的决定。

————正文————

With the very advent of mass media, people can find multifarious role models efficiently. Models do play an important role, to some extent, in promoting people's success. However, playing too much emphasis on models is detrimental to one's personal development. It is one's independent thinking and acting that count more in making her/his best choices leading to the future achievement.

To begin with, sometimes people can make better decisions and acquire satisfactory results with the help of certain role models. It is because that models have their own values. Firstly, it would take little effort for a person to find various models through modern communication means. And certainly there would exist one matching him/her best. Secondly, many useful experiences and skills from the certain model would help people a lot in shaping their greater choices. And finally, with an assistance of a proper model, it is quite common for people to save much time on achieving the ultimate accomplishment. Therefore, models do have their particular merits in people's life.

Nevertheless, it will be deleterious for people's development if too much emphasis is placed on role models. Because of models' popular merits, one may tend to rely on them completely and blindly without any more his/her independent thinking and concluding. There is no doubt that this will inhibit people making his own best decisions which serve better. Therefore, there would be no best choices if one only imitated the models completely without individual thinking and acting.

In fact, the whole process which one arrives the final success form the very beginning is determined by his/her own thinking and acting, not the role models. Only when people make enough considerations can models work. Consider the way of one get a fine model. It always takes considerable time for people to find a certain model suiting them best, although there are numerous ones. This process is replete with individual thinking and concluding. Bill Gates, for example, dropped our from Harvard University and started the engine of Microsoft. It is a famous model, inspiring many college students to imitate his experience. However, people need much time to consider the model, whether it is possible for carrying out by themselves, and then make the proper decisions. Thus it is the procedure of people's independent reasoning and acting shapes people's best choices.

What is more, when finding a suitable model, people still need great time on thinking bout how to utilize it. Here one's own thinking and acting again play a essential role in the final success. For instance, many practical problems can be better solved with the assistance of mathematical modeling. However, having the model does not mean the problems already being worked out, there are still a lot factors needing considered. It takes efforts for people to use it correctly and effectively.

In sum, people's independent thinking and acting are the essential factor in making the best choices contributing to the final accomplishment. And the appropriate role models will serve people in saving certain time and offering some useful information and experiences.

[ 本帖最后由 staralways 于 2006-2-6 12:44 编辑 ]

我的马甲UID: 2177806

Issue59
Too much emphasis is placed on role models. Instead of copying others, people should learn to think and act independently and thus make the choices that are the best for them.

1.models的优点。
2. 依赖models的坏处。
3.自己的thinking and acting才能做最好的决定。

————正文————

With the very advent of mass media, people can find multifarious role models efficiently. Models do play an important role, to some extent, in promoting people's success. However, playing too much emphasis on models is detrimental to one's personal development. It is one's independent thinking and acting that count more in making her/his best choices leading to the future achievement.

To begin with, sometimes people can make better decisions and acquire satisfactory results with the help of certain role models. It is because that models have their own values我觉得现在这么表达说得是那些models们又自己的价值观 . Firstly, it would take little effort for a person to find various models through modern communication means. And certainly there would exist one 这个One指communication means 还是 model,有些指代不清吧 matching him/her best. Secondly, many useful experiences and skills from the certain model would help people a lot in shaping their greater choices. And finally, with an assistance of a proper model, it is quite common for people to save much time on achieving the ultimate accomplishment. Therefore, models do have their particular merits in people's life. 一个感觉，要是再多少谈两句为什么model是model就好了，现在感觉有些空。另为，这段你要说得是学习model的优点，不是model的优点，TS和CS适当调整一下。

Nevertheless, it will be deleterious for people's development if too much emphasis is placed on role models. Because of models' popular merits, one may tend to rely on them completely and blindly without any more his/her independent thinking and concluding. There is no doubt that this will inhibit people making his own best decisions which serve better.什么叫最好的选择起作用比较好 Therefore, there would be no best choices if one only imitated the models completely without individual thinking and acting.这段太单薄了，论证和分析不够的说。TS，过分强调M有害，然后就是因为他们有优点，所以人们会完全依赖而摒弃个人思考，why？为什么他们有优点，人们就会完全依赖和减少个人思考呢？然后又说毫无疑问这样会...还是为什么呢？又说因此没有任何最好的选择...
这段里的跳跃太大了。

In fact, the whole process which one arrives the final success form the very beginning is determined by his/her own thinking and acting, not the role models. Only when people make enough considerations can models workmake sense . Consider the way of one get a fine mode. It always takes considerable time for people to find a certain model suiting them best, although there are numerous ones. This process is replete with individual thinking and concluding. Bill Gates, for example, dropped our from Harvard University and started the engine of Microsoft. It is a famous model, inspiring many college students to imitate his experience. However, people need much time to consider the model, whether it is possible for carrying out by themselves, and then make the proper decisions. Thus it is the procedure of people's independent reasoning and acting shapes people's best choices. 你是想说题目说的最好的选择就是选择一个合适的MODEL吗？而这个过程需要人们个人的思考。这段我看了几遍，就是这个感觉。我觉得题目似乎选择没有停留在这个层面

What is more, when finding a suitable model, people still need great time on thinking bout how to utilize这个词很不舒服 it. Here one's own thinking and acting again play a essential role in the final success. For instance, many practical problems can be better solved with the assistance of mathematical modeling. However, having the model does not mean the problems already being worked out, there are still a lot factors needing considered. 这个和我转业有关了，我就是学数学的。数学模型这里没有展开啊，为什么需要自己的思考呢？还有数学模型是role model 吗？It takes efforts for people to use it correctly and effectively.

In sum, people's independent thinking and acting are the essential factor in making the best choices contributing to the final accomplishment. And the appropriate role models will serve people in saving certain time and offering some useful information and experiences.

感觉分析不够。
另外我觉得你没有回应题目里的copy  model，另外就是choice理解的似乎狭隘了。
比较级/最高级随便使用，在没有比较之前表随便下这种结论。“比较好"，那是汉语的推辞吧，似乎英语，特别是文章，说了比较好，就得有than what，and why，这才是比较型论证的关键地方。

我的马甲UID: 2177806

Issue59
Too much emphasis is placed on role models. Instead of copying others, people should learn to think and act independently and thus make the choices that are the best for them.

1.models的优点。
2. 依赖models的坏处。
3.自己的thinking and acting才能做最好的决定。

————正文————

With the very advent of mass media, people can find multifarious role models efficiently. Models do play an important role, to some extent, in promoting people's success. However, playing too much emphasis on models is detrimental to one's personal development. It is one's independent thinking and acting that count more in making her/his best choices leading to the future achievement.

To begin with, sometimes people can make better decisions and acquire satisfactory results with the help of certain role models. It is because that models have their own values我觉得现在这么表达说得是那些models们又自己的价值观 . Firstly, it would take little effort for a person to find various models through modern communication means. And certainly there would exist one 这个One指communication means 还是 model,有些指代不清吧 matching him/her best. Secondly, many useful experiences and skills from the certain model would help people a lot in shaping their greater choices. And finally, with an assistance of a proper model, it is quite common for people to save much time on achieving the ultimate accomplishment. Therefore, models do have their particular merits in people's life. 一个感觉，要是再多少谈两句为什么model是model就好了，现在感觉有些空。另为，这段你要说得是学习model的优点，不是model的优点，TS和CS适当调整一下。

Nevertheless, it will be deleterious for people's development if too much emphasis is placed on role models. Because of models' popular merits, one may tend to rely on them completely and blindly without any more his/her independent thinking and concluding. There is no doubt that this will inhibit people making his own best decisions which serve better.什么叫最好的选择起作用比较好 Therefore, there would be no best choices if one only imitated the models completely without individual thinking and acting.这段太单薄了，论证和分析不够的说。TS，过分强调M有害，然后就是因为他们有优点，所以人们会完全依赖而摒弃个人思考，why？为什么他们有优点，人们就会完全依赖和减少个人思考呢？然后又说毫无疑问这样会...还是为什么呢？又说因此没有任何最好的选择...
这段里的跳跃太大了。

In fact, the whole process which one arrives the final success form the very beginning is determined by his/her own thinking and acting, not the role models. Only when people make enough considerations can models workmake sense . Consider the way of one get a fine mode. It always takes considerable time for people to find a certain model suiting them best, although there are numerous ones. This process is replete with individual thinking and concluding. Bill Gates, for example, dropped our from Harvard University and started the engine of Microsoft. It is a famous model, inspiring many college students to imitate his experience. However, people need much time to consider the model, whether it is possible for carrying out by themselves, and then make the proper decisions. Thus it is the procedure of people's independent reasoning and acting shapes people's best choices. 你是想说题目说的最好的选择就是选择一个合适的MODEL吗？而这个过程需要人们个人的思考。这段我看了几遍，就是这个感觉。我觉得题目似乎选择没有停留在这个层面

What is more, when finding a suitable model, people still need great time on thinking bout how to utilize这个词很不舒服 it. Here one's own thinking and acting again play a essential role in the final success. For instance, many practical problems can be better solved with the assistance of mathematical modeling. However, having the model does not mean the problems already being worked out, there are still a lot factors needing considered. 这个和我转业有关了，我就是学数学的。数学模型这里没有展开啊，为什么需要自己的思考呢？还有数学模型是role model 吗？It takes efforts for people to use it correctly and effectively.

In sum, people's independent thinking and acting are the essential factor in making the best choices contributing to the final accomplishment. And the appropriate role models will serve people in saving certain time and offering some useful information and experiences.

感觉分析不够。
另外我觉得你没有回应题目里的copy  model，另外就是choice理解的似乎狭隘了。
比较级/最高级随便使用，在没有比较之前表随便下这种结论。“比较好"，那是汉语的推辞吧，似乎英语，特别是文章，说了比较好，就得有than what，and why，这才是比较型论证的关键地方。