Argument216 【0806G-Sunbird小组】Norman第5次作业

norman518UID: 188582

TOPIC: ARGUMENT216 - The following appeared in a magazine article about planning for retirement.

"Because of its spectacular natural beauty and consistent climate, Clearview should be a top choice for anyone seeking a place to retire. As a bonus, housing costs in Clearview have fallen significantly during the past year, and real estate taxes remain lower than those in neighboring towns. Nevertheless, Clearview's mayor promises many new programs to improve schools, streets, and public services. Retirees in Clearview can also expect excellent health care as they grow older, since the number of physicians in the area is far greater than the national average."
WORDS: 619          TIME: 1:01:59          DATE: 2007-11-12


In this magazine article, based on the consideration of scenery and weather, the author suggests that Clearview should be the preferred place for any retirees to spend the remainder on their life. To strengthen its credibility, the author cites a series of evidences about the incline of housing costs, the lower real estate taxes, and even the major promises and the number of physicians. However, the suggestion is suspecious, and begs the question for that the author falls to consider what is the fatal factor for retirees to seek a place spending their lift time.

To begin with, the author's threshold consideration on scenery and weather is untenable. In this article, the author gives no evidences to illuminate what is the first concern of those retirees. Without an authorized survey, all above considerations are nothing but the author's assumption. After all, retirees-- being gregarious creatures-- are more inclined to live with their relatives and friends, rather than to live alone in a natural beauty and consistent climate without peers sharing their emotions. And more, it is impossible for every retiree to enjoy the same natural beauty or consistent weather as mentioned in article, maybe someone like to indulge in the sea fresh air or wind, maybe the others are fond of the sunset on the grassland, how to satisfy all about colorful appetites only in Clearview. When it comes to the weather, consistent climate does not mean the favorable climate, retirees as valetudinarian prefer cozy climate to those consistently hot or cold weather. So, the author's irrational suggestion is ungrounded until he or she can get to the bottom of true demands of retirees.

As for the housing costs and real estates taxes, the author wants to strengthen his/her suggestion, as well as makes another doubt to emerge out. Providing that costs and taxes are the cynosure concerned by retirees, but just form the significantly fallen housing costs, it is arbitrary to get the conclusion that housing costs in Clearview is an absorbing factor for retirees to make up their minds to inhabit here. It is high possible that the fallen housing costs, compared with their qualified bonus, is still too expensive for retirees to purchase; it is wise to conclude that economy in Clearview is also undeveloped according to its lower real estates taxes, this is to say that unemployment and even criminal rates in Clearview is higher than those in neighboring towns. Maybe a stable and security surrounding is more concerned than costs and taxes for retirees to seek a living place. Therefore, the only time the author can strengthen his or her persuasion is when he or she can rule out all above possibilities.

Finally, public services and health conditions should be an important focus for retirees to choose a living place. However, in this article, neither the major's promises nor the number of physicians could be effective measures to persuade these senior people to immigrate in Clearview. As we all know, the mayor's promises are not equal to guarantees or realization of public services. It is likely possible a strategy for mayor to take part in recent selection, or a long-time measures to absorb investment. And the number of physicians could not sustain these retirees surely to have better medical services, which relate to proficient medical skills, advanced medical equipments, and wholesome occupational ethics. It is whole possible that most of physicians are the medics-- rather than specialists for senior patients-- belonging to local medical college, or pre capita is lower than the national average for that population in Clearview is higher than the national average. If the author cannot provide details to get rid of above adversity, both the mayor's promises and the number of physicians are not any meaning but for speciosity.

In sum, the author’s suggestion is arbitrary to call for any retirees immigrating to Clearview. To strengthen its credibility, the author should make clear of retirees’ fatal focuses on living place through a reliable survey sponsored by authoritative institution, and provide more details to illustrate the economy and stable states behind the fallen housing and real taxes. To better evaluate it, the author should illuminate the current condition about public services and medical services, rather than mayor’s promise or medical practitioner’s number.


[ 本帖最后由 norman518 于 2007-11-13 17:51 编辑 ]

norman518UID: 188582

本A的逻辑感觉比较散乱，也不好归纳！
请达人和斑斑帮忙侃侃：怎样精简，感觉修改后已经超过700字了！
谢谢