argument234 4月作文小组第八次作业

songxjtuUID：2253904

TOPIC: ARGUMENT234 - The following appeared in a newspaper feature story.

"There is now evidence that the relaxed manner of living in small towns promotes better health and greater longevity than does the hectic pace of life in big cities. Businesses in the small town of Leeville report fewer days of sick leave taken by individual workers than do businesses in the nearby large city of Mason City. Furthermore, Leeville has only one physician for its one thousand residents, but in Mason City the proportion of physicians to residents is five times as high. And the average age of Leeville residents is significantly higher than that of Mason City residents. These findings suggest that people seeking longer and healthier lives should consider moving to small communities."
WORDS: 409          TIME: 0:40:00          DATE: 2007-4-1

In this argument, the author claims that the people who are seeking longer and healthier lives should consider moving to small communities just because of the evidence that the relaxed manner of living in the small towns promotes better health and greater longevity than does the hectic pace of life in big cities. However, there are several logical flaws in the statement.

To begin with, the small town of Leeville and the big town of Mason City is not representative in the nationwide. Perhaps, both towns are entirely different from others. Therefore, without ruling out this possibility, the comparison in this argument is useless.

Even if both towns are representative in the nationwide, the evidence that few days of sick leave taken by individual workers in Leeville than in Mason City can not indicate that the relaxed manner of living of the small towns promotes better health. It is possible that the report is dubious, and in fact the days of leave taken are more in Leeville.

And the author also assumes that few physician may have a great affect on the health standard and the average of the Leeville is higher cannot shows that the people there are alive much longer. On one side, the fact that the number of physicians is small perhaps is caused by the situation the population there is small and few people would like to be a physicians, which make the health condition is very poor. On the side, average number is useless. It is possible that the people in Leeville are most old people, while most people in Mason City are young. So it is unfairly to indicate that people in Leeville are longevous. In a word, the author provides the dubious and unconvincing evidence which fails to persuade me.

Finally and most importantly, the author makes a dubious analysis between Mason City and Leeville. Perhaps, there are also other possible different aside from the ones that the author mentioned in the argument. The conditions of medical treatment can also be an important factor in the people's health. Perhaps the conditions in small towns are too poor to keep people health and longevity.  Without enough information between the two towns, the analysis in statement is useless.

To sum up, the argument suffers from several logical flaws. To strengthen the statement, the author would have to provide more convincing evidence and rule out other possibilities. Or the author will fail to persuade me.

寂寞樱花UID：2306511

In this argument, the author claims that the people who are seeking longer and healthier lives should consider moving to small communities just because of the evidence that the relaxed manner of living in the small towns promotes better health and greater longevity than does the hectic pace of life in big cities. However, there are several logical flaws in the statement.

To begin with, the small town of Leeville and the big town of Mason City is not representative in the nationwide. Perhaps, both towns are entirely different from others. Therefore, without ruling out this possibility, the comparison in this argument is useless.

Even if both towns are representative in the nationwide, the evidence that few days of sick leave taken by individual workers in Leeville than in Mason City can not indicate that the relaxed manner of living of the small towns promotes better health. It is possible that the report is dubious, and in fact the days of leave taken are more in Leeville. （这里可以说更有说服力一点的理由，比如以病假矿工什么的）

And the author also assumes that few physician may have a great affect on the health standard and the average of the Leeville is higher cannot shows that the people there are alive much longer. On one side, the fact that the number of physicians is small perhaps is caused by the situation the population there is small and few people would like to be a physicians, which make the health condition is very poor. On the other side, average number is useless. It is possible that the people in Leeville are most old people, while most people in Mason City are young. So it is unfairly to indicate that people in Leeville are longevous. In a word, the author provides the dubious and unconvincing evidence which fails to persuade me.

Finally and most importantly, the author makes a dubious analysis between Mason City and Leeville.（这个放在一开始比较好吧。） Perhaps, there are also other possible different aside from the ones that the author mentioned in the argument. The conditions of medical treatment can also be an important factor in the people's health. Perhaps the conditions in small towns are too poor to keep people health and longevity.  Without enough information between the two towns, the analysis in statement is useless.

To sum up, the argument suffers from several logical flaws. To strengthen the statement, the author would have to provide more convincing evidence and rule out other possibilities. Or the author will fail to persuade me.

恩，怎么说呢，我本身自己A写的就不是很好，所以有不妥之处还请见谅哈。
逻辑错误找的没什么问题，本身逻辑性再强一点感觉会更好，特别是Finally那里，第一句话和第一段是重复的。
加油吧，可以更好的~