Issue203 我也写了这篇，和大家对照一下

fhxyweiUID: 157384

Issue203: 450 words  45 minutes
The best way to understand the character of a society is to examine the character of the men and women that the society chooses as its heroes or its heroines.

It is a fact that heroes or heroines represent part of people's spiritual belief as what the heroes and heroines strive for mentally and physically has always satisfied the common ones' dreams and moral requirement in the bottom of their heart. However, the character of a society is so much a complex thing that cannot be thoroughly reflected by all the heroes and heroines the society chose

On the one hand, I concede that the spirits of some heroes or heroines who have been idolized from generation to generation have become the embodiment of a society character. As their deeds and pursuits have been universally acknowledged by the society, the common people in that society cannot help behaving as the way those heroes or heroines advocates. For example: Washington, the first American president, who liberated the American people from Britain has been regarded as a hero in America history. The achievement he brought to America is not only the independent of America but also his thoughts and spirits that have been influencing America people such as the principles of democracy and honesty which American society still adheres to nowadays. A further example is the Confucius in ancient China, who has been idolized by Chinese people in most dynasties. And the behavior and moral of the majority of Chinese people from past to now reflect his philosophy, which symbolized the primary characteristics of the Chinese society.

On the other hand, some temporary heroes or heroines a society chose cannot stand for a society's character which means some lasting traits a nation or a race maintains for a long history. Hitler, the Nazi hero, who had been worshiped crazily by most Germany in Last Century, cannot represent the main character of Germany. What he did and advocated had been ultimately denied and abandoned by his people and nobody practice his thoughts by slaughtering Jews nowadays. What's more, there are some so called heroes or heroines who cannot be easily regarded the eternal ones because such kind mushrooms every a few decades. The typical examples are those actors and actress who gain their fame and achievement on the stages. Once they disappeared from the screen for a long time, the alternative ones can cater to the society’s interest and need in the same way as they have performed before. Such kind of heroes and heroines whose achievements have not exerted a profound and lasting influence upon the society can never represent a society's character.

Furthermore, there are many factors that also represent a society's character that cannot be reflected from their heroes and heroines. For example: some traditional culture and some fixed habits of a society, which are also the ingredients of a society's character, can hardly been claim that they have been formed because of those heroes and heroines. For example: who can give me some examples to support that western people eat in fork and knife while the Chinese with chopstick due to their respective heroes and heroines' clamor. In addition, the style of costume, some traditional rituals and ceremonies in a society, which can be broadly defined as its character as well, rarely have some origination from its heroes and heroines.

All in all, heroes and heroines can provide us a clue to trace a society's character, however, there is no enough reasons for us to cast all of our stakes to merely this aspect to understand it since a society's character can be reflected in various other perspectives

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-6-28 at 00:33 ]

conquer0824UID: 2102638

字数是怎么统计的啊？我怎贴到word里面是579个字呢

songwei1765UID: 202658

以word为准，V2统计得不准确

conquer0824UID: 2102638

这样子啊。
我说看这么老长才450个字，吓了我一跳。

fhxyweiUID: 157384

我45分钟的时候才写450个字，一到时间就停了，写了多少字自动统计出来
后面的100来字是我超时写的，限时没成功
我用的是pp3模拟软件，子数统计还是正确的

if_lotusUID: 175616

It is a fact that heroes or heroines represent part of people's spiritual belief as what the heroes and heroines strive for mentally and physically has always satisfied the common ones' dreams and moral requirement in the bottom of their heart. However, the character of a society is so much a complex thing that cannot be thoroughly reflected by all the heroes and heroines the society chose

On the one hand, I concede that the spirits of some heroes or heroines who have been idolized from generation to generation have become the embodiment of a society character[让步先。论点1]. As their deeds and pursuits have been universally acknowledged by the society, the common people in that society cannot help behaving as the way those heroes or heroines advocates. For example: Washington, the first American president, who liberated the American people from Britain has been regarded as a hero in America history. The achievement he brought to America is not only the independent of America but also his thoughts and spirits that have been influencing[最好并列用上and represent；鉴于首句提出的论点1] America people such as the principles of democracy and honesty[提炼出华盛顿体现出来的社会character是D和H] which American society still adheres to nowadays. A further example is the Confucius in ancient China, who has been idolized by Chinese people in most dynasties. And the behavior and moral of the majority of Chinese people from past to now reflect his philosophy, which symbolized the primary characteristics of the Chinese society[最好也像华盛顿的例子一样，提炼一下孔子代表的时代精神，这样更贴合你的论点1].

On the other hand, some temporary heroes or heroines a society chose cannot stand for a society's character which means some lasting traits a nation or a race maintains for a long history[没读懂这句话是啥意思，是说有些character只是暂时的？TS最好观点鲜明，可以用定语后置这样的句型，参考ETS范文的TS]. Hitler, the Nazi hero, who had been worshiped crazily by most Germany in Last Century, cannot represent the main character of Germany. What he did and advocated had been ultimately denied and abandoned by his people and nobody practice his thoughts by slaughtering Jews nowadays. What's more, there are some so called heroes or heroines who cannot be easily regarded the eternal ones because such kind mushrooms every a few decades. The typical examples are those actors and actress who gain their fame and achievement on the stages. Once they disappeared from the screen for a long time, the alternative ones can cater to the society’s interest and need in the same way as they have performed before. Such kind of heroes and heroines whose achievements have not exerted a profound and lasting influence upon the society can never represent a society's character.
[一个疑问：如果只是暂时的代表了一个时代的character，那是不是也算是代表了character，不管是暂时还是永久？
如果按这个思路来的话，那你论点2是赞成还是反对题目？好像有点跑哦~
事实上，很多时代精神、时代人物都是在特定时期、环境下形成的，应该说这一时代的人物也是代表了时代精神的。比如我小学时宣传的赖宁，那时宣传见义勇为，保护国家财产，而现在都教育先要保护好自己，现自救再救人。]

Furthermore, there are many factors that also[用also是否合适呢？我们来分析一下：题目说的是the best way，没说the only way；如果B3想讨论其他解决方案，是否应该比较其他方案和英雄方案哪个更为best呢？而不是讨论其他可行方案。如果用also，我觉得有点跑。] represent a society's character that cannot be reflected from their heroes and heroines[论点3：其他解决方案]. For example: some traditional culture and some fixed habits of a society, which are also the ingredients of a society's character, can hardly been claim that they have been formed because of those heroes and heroines. For example: who can give me some examples to support that western people eat in fork and knife while the Chinese with chopstick due to their respective heroes and heroines' clamor. In addition, the style of costume, some traditional rituals and ceremonies in a society, which can be broadly defined as its character as well, rarely have some origination from its heroes and heroines.

All in all, heroes and heroines can provide us a clue to trace a society's character, however, there is no enough reasons for us to cast all of our stakes to merely this aspect to understand it since a society's character can be reflected in various other perspectives.[同样，我觉得结尾也涉及对题目the best way理解有偏差的问题]

fhxyweiUID: 157384

1，[一个疑问：如果只是暂时的代表了一个时代的character，那是不是也算是代表了character，不管是暂时还是永久？
如果按这个思路来的话，那你论点2是赞成还是反对题目？好像有点跑哦~
事实上，很多时代精神、时代人物都是在特定时期、环境下形成的，应该说这一时代的人物也是代表了时代精神的。比如我小学时宣传的赖宁，那时宣传见义勇为，保护国家财产，而现在都教育先要保护好自己，现自救再救人。]

讨论：
我在第二个body里面对a society's character 进行了定义：
which means some lasting traits a nation or a race maintains for a long history
那就必须是一个社会或一个民族长期保持的一种特质，而不是暂时的，在我这个大前提下讨论，还是能自圆其说的。所以时代精神，时代人物象赖宁根本不能反映一个social character.

2，Furthermore, there are many factors that also[用also是否合适呢？我们来分析一下：题目说的是the best way，没说the only way；如果B3想讨论其他解决方案，是否应该比较其他方案和英雄方案哪个更为best呢？而不是讨论其他可行方案。如果用also，我觉得有点跑。] represent a society's character that cannot be reflected from their heroes and heroines[论点3：其他解决方案
讨论：这其实算反面论证，既然好多情况用英雄来理解不了，那就不能说它是“the best way”了，
结尾也是这个意思，但还需要修改


谢谢修改！！！

[ Last edited by fhxywei on 2005-6-28 at 15:30 ]

leo_chenUID: 206840

Issue203: 450 words  45 minutes
The best way to understand the character of a society is to examine the character of the men and women that the society chooses as its heroes or its heroines.

It is a fact that heroes or heroines represent part of people's spiritual belief as because? what the heroes and heroines strive for mentally and physically has always satisfied the common ones' dreams and moral requirement in the bottom of their heart. However, the character of a society is so much a complex thing such a complex thing or so complex that cannot be thoroughly reflected by all the heroes and heroines the society chose choosing

On the one hand, I concede that the spirits of some heroes or heroines who have been idolized from generation to generation have become the embodiment of a society character. As their deeds and pursuits have been universally acknowledged by the society, the common people in that society cannot help behaving as the way those heroes or heroines advocates. For example: Washington, the first American president, who liberated the American people from Britain has been regarded as a hero in America history. The achievement he brought to America is was not only the independent -dence of America but also his thoughts and spirits that have been influencing influenced America people such as the principles of democracy and honesty which American society still adheres to nowadays. A further example is the Confucius in ancient China, who has been idolized by Chinese people in most dynasties. And the behavior and moral of the majority of Chinese people from past to now reflect his philosophy, which symbolized the primary characteristics of the Chinese society.

On the other hand, some temporary heroes or heroines a society chose cannot stand for a the society's character which means some lasting traits a nation or a race maintains for a long history. Hitler, the Nazi hero, who had been worshiped crazily by most Germany in Last Century, cannot represent the main character of Germany. What he did and advocated had been ultimately denied and abandoned by his people and nobody practice his thoughts by slaughtering Jews nowadays. What's more, there are some so called heroes or heroines who cannot be easily regarded as the eternal ones because such kind mushrooms every a few decades mushroom指什么？ . The typical examples are those actors and actress who gain their fame and achievement on the stages. Once they disappeared from the screen for a long time, the alternative ones can cater to the society’s interest and need in the same way as they have performed before. Such kind of heroes and heroines whose achievements have not exerted a profound and lasting influence upon the society can never represent a society's character.
舞台上的hero、heroine是这篇文章里说的Hero/heroine吗？不要偷换概念。

Furthermore, there are many factors that also represent a society's character that cannot be reflected from their heroes and heroines. For example: some traditional culture and some fixed habits of a society, which are also the ingredients of a society's character, can hardly been claim that they have been formed because of those heroes and heroines. For example: who can give me some examples to support that western people eat in fork and knife while the Chinese with chopstick due to their respective heroes and heroines' clamor.
这一点反驳的不错
In addition, the style of costume, some traditional rituals and ceremonies in a society, which can be broadly defined as its character as well, rarely have some do some have origination from its heroes and heroines.
这个不好说吧。西方的礼服有一些是来源于对骑士的崇拜。现在正式场合穿的西服马甲也是从骑马服里演变出来的

All in all, heroes and heroines can provide us a clue to trace a society's character, however, there is no enough reasons reason for us to cast all of our stakes to merely this aspect to understand it since a society's character can be reflected in various other perspectives

写得不错，用词句法流畅多了

if_lotusUID: 175616

fhxywei ：你的意思我了解了。

唉，不知道ETS改分时的E-rater是如何评分的~
看作文其实也有歧义，同一段话，不同人理解就不一样。
还是觉得不知道怎么表达自己的本意，有时候写出来的和自己想的意思偏了，55。所以我想是不是还是应该在能清楚表达自己意图的基础上，再加工语言。

用词上还是经不起推敲，太嫩！