Issue179 574words 确定VS不确定 大伙猛砸! 留连结我必回!

fishtutuUID: 199884

Issue179  第1篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：45分29秒     574 words
从2005年6月12日15时28分到2005年6月12日16时45分
------题目------
What most human beings really want to attain is not knowledge, but certainty. Gaining real knowledge requires taking risks and keeping the mind open—but most people prefer to be reassured rather than to learn the complex and often unsettling truth about anything.
------正文------
People always want certainty to make them feel safe. I agree with this statement that people often want attain certain rather than knowledge.

On the first hand, when student face the choice between interest major and practical major most student often choose practical major because they want to make sure they can find a safe job after they graduate. Certainty play a vital role in people's life, we fear to try some thing that we never done before, and we always want to consult predecessor who have experience which may help us to avoid several time and eliminate the dangerous of uncertainty. Students are specially have this obvious character in that most student prefer to choose finance, accounting, economics, computer, and so forth major that relevant to job seeking instead of philosophy, sociology, history, geography, and so on major that have little help when they seek job. Apparently students who have the psychology of safe work may give up their interest and choose some fields that maybe boring for them. I recognize a finance major student who has tremendous interest in philosophy and no much interest in dealing with the proliferate tool used in finance field. He chooses this major according to his parents’ forecast that finance will remain its popularity in the future. However, he told me he does not like any courses of finance especially those connect with mathematic. What a pity boy, a good major may assure a safe job in the future, but a good salary merely could not represent a good job let along a good future. Interest are the driven of learning, those who sacrifice their interest to pursuit certainty will upset one day.

Moreover, parents always do not like to their children to error, because in this society character on rapid change and accurate life style and working standard erroneous often equal to wrong. People hate error which frequently accompanied by uncertainty. What people need is accurate right and certainty. Of course, in some extent to error is wrong. For example, an engineer whose skyscraper collapsed immediately after it build up won't keep his job long and a business whose wrong strategy make his/her company experience a sharp decrease in profit may end in bankrupt. Nevertheless, if we over emphasize on the right decision we will lose a lot of opportunity that many probability could happen. Parents always hope their children to conform to some existing rule which may block children’s potential. Instead of prison children in a safe cage like lion in the zoo, student should be encouraged to try as much possibility as possible. By challenging the uncertainty, children could learn some thing that even out of parents' expectation and that may never happen if they do things in a certain way. For example, parents may feel their children are too weak to join the basketball team may forbid children to play basketball because they fear uncertain danger such as other children may knock their children down. However, if parents encourage their children to play basketball, they may surprisingly find their children become more strong and easy to communicate after a short term.

In sum, people often focus too much on certainty, especially when educating the young generation because we fear the uncertainty that may harm the young and society. Nonetheless, Instead of fear the uncertainty, we should encourage student to try things that seems uncertain but could possibly originate miracle.

1900_oneoneUID: 2104750

[45分钟能写到这么多，敬仰ing，非常不错了
你的论证由于没有提纲，我只好按照自己的理解说了三：
你同意作者的观点
然后说选择专业是为了追求以后确定的工作。进一步说父母不喜欢由于不确定性造成的错，还有害怕受伤的例子，最后说过分追求确定不好，是不是有些背离你的中心呢？我看了以后给我感觉总是有些没有说道点子上，这个和题目本身抽象有关吧]

语言没有什么大问题吧，很厉害了！继续加油哦，我要穷追........

fishtutuUID: 199884

呵呵!谢谢wendytian ! 这道题我把握得不是很好, 感觉是有点偏掉了:(
语言上感觉自己用词有点单调,大家再继续砸!!

abigredUID: 154473

People always want certainty to make them feel safe. I agree with this statement that people often want attain certain rather than knowledge.

On the first hand, when student face the choice between interested major and practical major most student often choose practical major because they want to make sure they can find a safe job after they graduate. Certainty play a vital role in people's life, we fear to try some thing that we have never done before, and we always want to consult predecessor who have experience which may help us to avoid several time and eliminate the dangerous of uncertainty. Students are specially have this obvious character in that most student prefer to choose finance, accounting, economics, computer, and so forth major that relevant to job seeking instead of philosophy, sociology, history, geography, and so on major that have little help when they seek job. Apparently students who have the psychology of safe work may give up their interest and choose some fields that maybe boring for them. I recognize a finance major student who has tremendous interest in philosophy and no much interest in dealing with the proliferate tool used in finance field. He chooses this major according to his parents’ forecast that finance will remain its popularity in the future. However, he told me he does not like any courses of finance especially those connect with mathematic. What a pity 这是名词boy, a good major may assure a safe job in the future, but a good salary merely could not represent a good job let along alone a good future. Interest are the driven of learning, those who sacrifice their interest to pursuit certainty will upset one day.

Moreover, parents always do not like to their children to error, because in this society character on rapid change and accurate life style and working standard erroneous often equal to wrong. People hate error which frequently accompanied by uncertainty. What people need is accurate right and certainty. Of course, in some extent to error is wrong. For example, an engineer whose skyscraper collapsed immediately after it build up won't keep his job long and a business whose wrong strategy make his/her company experience a sharp decrease in profit may end in bankrupt. Nevertheless, if we over emphasize on the right decision we will lose a lot of opportunity that many probability could happen. Parents always hope their children to conform to some existing rule which may block children’s potential. Instead of prison children in a safe cage like lion in the zoo(呵呵不然说是canary), student should be encouraged to try as much possibility as possible(有误，possibility可数). By challenging the uncertainty, children could learn some thing that even out of parents' expectation and that may never happen if they do things in a certain way. For example, parents may feel their children are too weak to join the basketball team may forbid children to play basketball because they fear uncertain danger such as other children may knock their children down. However, if parents encourage their children to play basketball, they may surprisingly find their children become more strong and easy to communicate after a short term.

In sum, people often focus too much on certainty, especially when educating the young generation because we fear the uncertainty that may harm the young and society. Nonetheless, Instead of fear the uncertainty, we should encourage student to try things that seems uncertain but could possibly originate miracle.

语言很好
但是整篇的文章显得有点单薄，尤其是例子方面，主要是围绕学生和家长，而且每段的TS并不明显，让人觉得整篇文章是在说一个idea.

fishtutuUID: 199884

呵呵!有同感!这是我的痛处啊:(

amanda1011UID: 2106668

唉，帮你改了好几个小时，这个语言…… 我就不说了你自己看吧，好好加强，否则，你有再好的观点，以你这种中文式的英文表达出来，老外是看不懂的！！改得太累了，等你修改过一遍以后，我再看你的逻辑有没问题吧。说的有点重，不过我想是事实，说出来你才能进步，加油啊！！



------正文------
People always want certainty to make them feel safe. I agree with this statement that people often want attain certain rather than knowledge.
[第一段这两句话啥关系啊？给人感觉逻辑关系是：因为人们总是……所以我同意人们就是…… 这样写好像不行吧]
On the first hand[这是什么啊？是要说首先吗？好像不是这么表达的吧？有on one hand...on the other hand，是用来引出两个相互矛盾的观点的；还有一个词组是at first hand，表示直接的第一手的], when student[students] face the choice between [an] interest[interesting] major and [a] practical major[加个逗号比较好吧] most student[students] often choose [a] practical major because they want to make sure they can find a safe [安全的专业？用词不当。是确保自己毕业以后能够找到工作， 而不是这个工作本身安不安全。] job after they graduate. Certainty play[plays] a vital role in people's life, we fear to try some[这个some用的不好，指代不明确，模模糊糊的说某些] thing[things] that we [have] never done before,[前面这两句什么关系啊？没有任何连词，用逗号这么分隔着？] and we always want to consult predecessor[predecessors] who have experience[experienced，而且这是个及物动词，后面怎么没有宾语了呢？] which may help us to avoid several time[避免很多时间？time还可以用several？] and eliminate the dangerous[danger] of[用of不太对吧，uncertainty本身没有危险这个性质，只是它可能带来危险] uncertainty. Students are[去掉] specially have this obvious character in that most student[students] prefer to choose[去掉choose，没必要，prefer to已经表达了这层含义了] finance, accounting, economics, computer, and so forth major[an so forth后面不能再加名词了，要表达专业，把major提到前面去，the majors of ……] that[去掉，后面是形容词，可以直接做定语] relevant to job seeking instead of[rather than，因为前面用了prefer to了] philosophy, sociology, history, geography, and so on major[同and so forth] that have little help when they seek job. Apparently students who have the psychology of safe work[同前面，safe用的不对] may give up their interest and choose some fields that maybe[may be] boring for them. I recognize[know] a finance major student who has tremendous interest in philosophy and no much interest in dealing with the proliferate[这是个动词] tool used in finance field. He chooses this major according to his parents’ forecast that finance will remain its popularity in the future. However, he told me he does[前面是过去时，这里是现在时？] not like any courses of finance especially those connect[correlative] with mathematic[mathematics]. What a pity boy,[两句分开] a good major may assure a safe[改] job in the future, but a good salary merely[后面是否定啊，这里用merely表示什么？] could not represent a good job let along[alone] a good future. Interest are[is] the driven[drive] of learning, those who sacrifice their interest to pursuit certainty will upset[是不是要说后悔啊？have a regret] one day.

Moreover, parents always do not like to[去掉] their children to [have] error[errors], because in this society character on rapid change and accurate life style and working standard erroneous often equal to wrong[这是个形容词，这句说什么呢？]. People hate error which [are] frequently accompanied by uncertainty. What people need is accurate right and certainty. Of course, in[to] some extent to[去掉] error is wrong[这句……]. For example, an engineer whose skyscraper[这个摩天大厦是那个工程师的？表达错误吧] collapsed immediately after it [is built]build up[,] won't keep his job long[去掉吧] and a business [businessman] whose wrong strategy make[makes] his/her company experience[这又是什么意思？] a sharp decrease in profit may end in bankrupt[bankruptcy]. Nevertheless, if we over emphasize on the right decision we will lose a lot of opportunity[opportunities] that many probability could happen[这个定语从句去掉吧，越说越糟了]. Parents always hope their children to conform to some existing rule[rules] which may block children's potential. Instead of prison[being imprisoned] children[去掉，后面的主句主语是孩子们，这里的主语也只能是孩子们] in a safe cage like lion[lions] in the zoo, student[students] should be encouraged to try as much possibility as possible. By challenging[chanllenged] the uncertainty, children could learn some thing[things] that[去掉] even out of parents' expectation and that may never happen if they do things in a certain way. For example, parents may[who] feel their children are too weak to join the basketball team may forbid children to play basketball because they fear uncertain danger such as other children may knock their children down. However, if parents encourage their children to play basketball, they may surprisingly find their children become more[去掉] strong[stronger] and easy[easier] to communicate after a short term.

In sum, people often focus too much on certainty, especially when educating the young generation because we fear the uncertainty that may harm[do harm to] the young and society. Nonetheless, Instead of fear[fearing for] the uncertainty, we should encourage student[students] to try things that seems[seem] uncertain but could possibly originate miracle.

fishtutuUID: 199884

一把鼻涕一把汗的终于是改完了！还好还没完全丧失知觉！建议斑竹以后开个挖洞版， 专门给我这种人用！！！
大家继续砸吧！
People always want certainty to make them feel safe. What most people need is reassurance rather risk which is necessary part while we pursuit real knowledge. Thus I agree with author’s opinion that people often want attain certainty rather than knowledge.
In the first place, most students often choose a practical major when they face the choice between an interesting major and a practical major, since students who graduate from practical major often gain stable job with high salary. We fear to try things that we have never done before, and we always want to consult predecessors whose experience could help us to avoid detours and eliminate uncertainties. Students specially have this character in that most students prefer major[不确定要不要复数] like finance, accounting, economics, and computer rather than major like[这边能不能这样用] philosophy, sociology, history, geography, simply because veterans’[这里是不是有错] experience told us that practical major could provide stable jobs. Apparently students who seek stable lives may give up their interest and choose some fields that they are not interest in. A friend of mine who major in finance but did not really interest in it told me he chose this major according to his parents’ forecast that finance will remain its popularity in the future. Instead of choosing his favorite major he yields to his parents who he deems to be sagacious. However, he complains to me that he should have chosen his favorite major because he has learned nothing during his undergraduate life. Poor boy, a good major may assure a certain job in the future, but a stable could not represent a good future. Interest is the drive of learning, those who sacrifice their interest to pursuit certainty will regret one day.

Moreover, no parents would like their children to make errors, because in this era character on standard and accuracy errors often deemed as wrong. People hate errors which are frequently accompanied by uncertainty. What people need is certainty. Of course, to some extent to error is wrong. For example, an engineer who designs a skyscraper that collapsed immediately after it is built won't keep his job and a businessman whose wrong strategy [leads] his/her company to a sharp decrease in profit may end in bankruptcy. Nevertheless, if we overemphasize on the right decision we will lose a lot of opportunities. Parents always hope their children to conform to some existing [rules] which may stifle children's potential. Instead of [being imprisoned] in a safe cage like [lions] in the zoo, [students] should encouraged to try as much possibility as possible. By [challenged][确定吗？] the uncertainty, children could learn [things] which may out of parents' expectation and may never happen if they do things in a certain way. For example, parents [who] feel their children are too weak to join the basketball team may forbid children to play basketball because they fear uncertain danger such as other children may knock their children down. However, if parents encourage their children to play basketball, they may surprisingly find their children become [stronger] and [easier] to communicate after a short term.

In sum, people often focus too much on certainty, especially when educating the young generation because we fear the uncertainty that [do harm to] the young and society. Nonetheless, Instead of [fearing] uncertainty, we should encourage [students] to try things that [seem] uncertain but could possibly originate miracle.

fishtutuUID: 199884

amanda好人啊！