issue144 G-89-互助社-8.12日同主题作文！又一篇宏篇巨作，大家来拍砖！

polymathUID: 179557

借鉴了fishjoy和keeyang的I-144中某些例子，希望有所突破！嘿嘿！:victory:

144. "It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value."
*a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.
是艺术家而不是批评家，带给社会一些具有持久价值的东西。（习作17，2005/08/12） ☆☆☆☆
According to the speaker, it is the artist instead of the critic, gives something of lasting value to our society. I agree insofar as the artist gives us many things of lasting vaule. At the same time, however, by evaluating works of art, the critic also plays a great role in preserving lasting value for society. Otherwise, a lot of great valuable works would bury in oblivion and their lasting value suffered.

On the one hand, no one would deny that artists create art and it brings the society both material and spiritual wealth of lasting value. First of all, by providing the society with a great deal of artistic works such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc., the artist directly shows us beauty of the world. For example, when listening to a piece of classic music like <The Blue Danube>, we can not only enjoy the melody, but also free our tension and anxiety. And a happy feeling may appear when appreciating a wonderful painting such as <Mona Lisa>. Even one never dislike music, novel, painting, just paying attention to the prosperous amusement and public media business, one can acknowledge what a marvelous need of people for arts. Second, all great art has the power of advocating the good qualifications of human world, attacking the ugly and evil behavior and thought and providing endless spirit supply. For instance, as one of the greatest novels in the history, <War and Peace> in fact  teaches us many insightful thoughts and ideas about life and world. From this novel, we can not only understand the world more deeply, but also learn to distinguish between right and wrong, good and evil, beauty from ugliness, frightfulness and nicety. Another fitting example is Mozart’ music. Many pregnant women nowadays are advised to listen to music in the expectance of promoting the fetus mental development. And one interesting research has found that only certain melody created by Mozart would has such benefits to fetus. Such values of art would never disappear with time going, but become more cherished by people.

On the other hand, critics, by helping us understand the significance and revealing the importance and inconsequence of different art work, can also creat something of lasting value. As we all know, although the essence of art is the concentrated reflection of the society, the life and so on, the meaning of art often oversteps them. As a result, many masterpieces are so obscure and imaginative that an ordinary person ususlly lacks sensitiveness to notice them, let alone to appreciate them. If not for the critic who can evaluate them from a comprehensive point of view, and interpret them in a understandable way to the society, millions of pieces of art are going to be thrown away as a pile of bargains every year. To illustrate this argument, one need look no further than "Don Quixote”. During 18th century, this novel was regarded no more than a farce at all. Nevertheless, ever since 19th century, people have always shown positive evaluation for it. And according to a recent authoritative vote, this novel is appraized as the top greatest novel in the history.Who did such a astonished change? Obviously not Saiwantisi. This contribution should be attributed to several critics  such as Byron and Heine. It was their creative critique that enriched the connotation of the work, and bestowed a lasting value to it. So we can't abase the value of critics.

Admittedly, sometimes excessive and inappropriate criticism might seriously undertake the true value of art, such like the criticism which once criticized Eiffel Towel as a monster, a disharmony and a humiliating failure in Paris architecture. But as long as it has real lasting value, any art will emerge its splendour to the world at last. With the passage of time, the artistic value of Eiffel Towel is established more and more throughout the world. Whoever misses to see Eiffel Towel nowadays would feel embarrassed to claim that he has been to France. However, we could not consequently draw such an unfair conclusion that the critics play a negative role, because both critics and criticism are the indispensable proportion for the field or for artists’ giving something of lasting value.

To sum up, it is safe to say that both the artist and the critic give society something of lasting value despite of different roles. The criticism is to the art what tongue is to the cate.The arts and criticism are like twin and depend on each other.The artist creates value to the society so does the criticist.(761)

[ Last edited by polymath on 2005-8-12 at 22:40 ]

mvpzhuangUID: 205051

顶

polymathUID: 179557

加油！再顶！:)

阿择菜UID: 2110339

seat taken

mvpzhuangUID: 205051

According to the speaker, it is the artist instead of the critic, gives something of lasting value to our society. I agree insofar as as？不是用that?the artist gives us many things of lasting vaule. At the same time, however, by evaluating works of art, the critic also plays a great role in preserving lasting value for society. Otherwise, a lot of great valuable works would bury in oblivion and their lasting value suffered. 不知道是不是看超女兴奋了，脑子有点晕，你是中立的立场吧。

On the one hand, no one would deny that artists create art and it brings the society both material and spiritual wealth of lasting value. First of all, by providing the society with a great deal of artistic works such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc., the artist directly shows us beauty of the world. For example, when listening to a piece of classic music like <The Blue Danube>, we can not only enjoy the melody, but also free our tension and anxiety. And a happy feeling may appear when appreciating a wonderful painting such as <Mona Lisa>会吗？偶觉得看她的那张画不觉得happy呢。阴森森的，而且本身就有争议的画，思路很好换个没争议的，凡高的向日葵怎么样？. Even one never dislike music, novel, painting, just paying attention to the prosperous amusement and public media business, one can acknowledge what a marvelous need of people for arts. 这里分一下段，太长了Second, all great art has the power of advocating the good qualifications of human world, attacking the ugly and evil behavior and thought and providing endless spirit supply. For instance, as one of the greatest novels in the history, <War and Peace>忘了问，书名之类的是用这个吗？？我觉得是用引号呢 in fact  teaches us many insightful thoughts and ideas about life and world. From this novel, we can not only understand the world more deeply, but also learn to distinguish between right and wrong, good and evil, beauty from ugliness, frightfulness and nicety. Another fitting example is Mozart’ music. Many pregnant women nowadays are advised to listen to music in the expectance of promoting the fetus mental development. And one interesting research has found that only certain melody created by Mozart would has such benefits to fetus. Such values of art would never disappear with time going, but become more cherished by people.

On the other hand, critics, by helping us understand the significance and revealing the importance and inconsequence of different art work, can also creat something of lasting value. As we all know, although the essence of art is the concentrated reflection of the society, the life and so on, the meaning of art often oversteps them偶喜欢这句！. As a result, many masterpieces are so obscure and imaginative that an ordinary person ususlly lacks sensitiveness to notice them, let alone to appreciate them. If not for the critic who can evaluate them from a comprehensive point of view, and interpret them in a understandable way to the society, millions of pieces of art are going to be thrown away as a pile of bargains every year. To illustrate this argument, one need look no further than "Don Quixote”. During 18th century, this novel was regarded no more than a farce at all. Nevertheless, ever since 19th century, people have always shown positive evaluation for it. And according to a recent authoritative vote, this novel is appraized as the top greatest novel in the history.Who did such a astonished change? Obviously not Saiwantisi. This contribution should be attributed to several critics  such as Byron and Heine. It was their creative critique that enriched the connotation of the work, and bestowed a lasting value to it. So we can't abase the value of critics.例子很好，论证很充分阿！羡慕ing

Admittedly, sometimes excessive and inappropriate criticism might seriously undertake the true value of art, such like the criticism which once criticized Eiffel Towel as a monster, a disharmony and a humiliating failure in Paris architecture. But as long as it has real lasting value, any art will emerge its splendour to the world at last. With the passage of time, the artistic value of Eiffel Towel is established more and more throughout the world. Whoever misses to see Eiffel Towel nowadays would feel embarrassed to claim that he has been to France. However, we could not consequently draw such an unfair conclusion that the critics play a negative role, because both critics and criticism are the indispensable proportion for the field or for artists’ giving something of lasting value.

To sum up, it is safe to say that both the artist and the critic give society something of lasting value despite of different roles. The criticism is to the art what tongue is to the cate.The arts and criticism are like twin and depend on each other.The artist creates value to the society so does the criticist.(761)

妈妈呀！761~~~~是限时吗？？？？
总体很不错啊，不管是语言还是论证的严密度而言，都是篇好文章阿！！！
偶就只能鸡蛋里挑骨头了~~~~最后两段没得改了~~~~应该有5分了吧？？
555你还说没我好。。。偶觉得你好强了哦

polymathUID: 179557

I agree insofar as 从句,是固定搭配，老外文章里出现过！估计中间即使有that也是可以省掉的！呵呵！·谢谢了！:)

momo56288860UID: 191433

According to the speaker, it is the artist instead of the critic, gives something of lasting value to our society//这一句是不是想要用强调句？it is the artist instead of the critic, /要不要加个who，如果不要的话，好象句子的主谓成分有点问题/gives something of lasting value to our society. I agree insofar //as改成that，后面是宾语从句// the artist gives us many things of lasting vaule. At the same time, however, by evaluating works of art, the critic also plays a great role in preserving lasting value for society. Otherwise, a lot of great valuable works would bury//是不是要该成被动语态？整个句子意思感觉不大顺啊，能不能改一下表达方式Otherwise, due to oblivion, a lot of great valuable works would be gradually buried .但是their lasting value suffered ，我不知道该怎么表达了// in oblivion and their lasting value suffered.

On the one hand, no one would deny that artists create art //and it，该成which// brings the society both material and spiritual wealth of lasting value//后面的论述似乎没有提到material wealth of lasting value，而只论证了spiritual wealth of lasting value//. First of all, by providing the society with a great deal of artistic works such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc., the artist directly shows us beauty of the world. For example, when listening to a piece of classic music like <The Blue Danube>, we can not only enjoy the melody, but also free our tension and anxiety. And a happy feeling may appear when appreciating a wonderful painting such as <Mona Lisa>. //Even,换成Even though,即使的意思，是不是好一些 //one never dislike music, novel, painting, just paying attention to the prosperous amusement and public media business, //加个but,两个句子之间没有连词//one can acknowledge what a marvelous need of people for arts. Second, all great art has the power of advocating the good qualifications of human world, attacking the ugly and evil behavior and thought// 换成排比是不是好一些，attacking the ugly behavior，protecting kind thought, and providing endless spirit supply.// For instance, as one of the greatest novels in the history, <War and Peace> in fact//似乎改成actually好一些//  teaches us many insightful thoughts and ideas about life and world. From this novel, we can not only understand the world more deeply, but also learn to distinguish between right and wrong, good and evil, beauty from//and// ugliness, frightfulness and nicety. Another fitting example is Mozart’ music. Many pregnant women nowadays are advised to listen to music in the expectance// expectancy // of promoting the fetus mental development. And one interesting research has found that only certain melody created by Mozart would has such benefits to fetus. Such//those// values of art would never disappear with time going, but become more cherished by people.

On the other hand, critics, by helping us understand the significance and revealing the importance and inconsequence of different art work, can also creat something of lasting value. As we all know, although the essence of art is the concentrated reflection of the society, the//去掉the// life and so on, the meaning of art often oversteps them. As a result, many masterpieces are so obscure and imaginative that an ordinary person ususlly lacks sensitiveness to notice them, let alone to appreciate them. If not for //句子好象不大顺//the critic who can evaluate them from a comprehensive point of view, and interpret them in a understandable way to the society, millions of pieces of art are going to be thrown away as a pile of bargains every year. To illustrate this argument, one need look no further than "Don Quixote”. During 18th century, this novel was regarded no more than a farce at all. Nevertheless, ever since 19th century, people have always shown positive evaluation for it. And according to a recent authoritative vote, this novel is appraized as the top greatest novel in the history.Who did such a astonished change? Obviously not Saiwantisi. This contribution should be attributed to several critics  such as Byron and Heine. It was their creative critique that enriched the connotation of the work, and bestowed a lasting value to it. So we can't abase the value of critics.

Admittedly, sometimes excessive and inappropriate criticism might seriously undertake the true value of art, such like the criticism which once criticized Eiffel Towel as a monster, a disharmony and a//去掉a// humiliating failure in Paris architecture. But as long as it has real lasting value, any art will emerge its splendour to the world at last. With the passage of time, the artistic value of Eiffel Towel is established more and more throughout the world. Whoever misses to see Eiffel Towel nowadays would feel embarrassed to claim that he has been to France. However, we could not consequently draw such an unfair conclusion that the critics play a negative role, because both critics and criticism are the indispensable proportion for the field or for artists’ giving something of lasting value.

To sum up, it is safe to say that both the artist and the critic give society something of lasting value despite of different roles. The criticism is to the art what tongue is to the cate.The arts and criticism are like twin and depend on each other.The artist creates value to the society so does the criticist.(761)

momo56288860UID: 191433

整体不错啊,语言结构都不错.好文章

fishjoyUID: 2116013

According to the speaker, it is the artist instead of the critic, gives something of lasting value to our society. I agree insofar as the artist gives us many things of lasting vaule. At the same time, however, by evaluating works of art, the critic also plays a great role in preserving lasting value for society. Otherwise, a lot of great valuable works would bury in oblivion and their lasting value suffered.

On the one hand, no one would deny that artists create art and it brings the society both material and spiritual wealth of lasting value. First of all, by providing the society with a great deal of artistic works such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc., the artist directly shows us beauty of the world. For example, when listening to a piece of classic music like <The Blue Danube>, we can not only enjoy the melody, but also free our tension and anxiety. And a happy feeling may appear when主语不一致时，不能省略one，你又犯老毛病了。 appreciating a wonderful painting such as <Mona Lisa>. Even one never dislike music, novel, painting, just paying attention to the prosperous amusement and public media business, one can acknowledge what a marvelous need of people for arts. Second, all great art has the power of advocating the good qualifications of human world, attacking the ugly and evil behavior and thought and providing endless spirit supply.此句前半句与分论点一重复 For instance, as one of the greatest novels in the history, <War and Peace> in fact  teaches us many insightful thoughts and ideas about life and world. From this novel, we can not only understand the world more deeply, but also learn to distinguish between right and wrong, good and evil, beauty from ugliness, frightfulness and nicety. Another fitting example is Mozart’ music. Many pregnant women nowadays are advised to listen to music in the expectance of promoting the fetus mental development. And one interesting research has found that only certain melody created by Mozart would has such benefits to fetus. Such values of art would never disappear with time going, but become more cherished by people.两个分论点的分界不清晰，建议分论点二只证明后半句。

On the other hand, critics, by helping us understand the significance and revealing the importance and inconsequence of different art work, can also creat something of lasting value. As we all know, although the essence of art is the concentrated reflection of the society, the life and so on, the meaning of art often oversteps them. As a result, many masterpieces are so obscure and imaginative that an ordinary person ususlly lacks sensitiveness to notice them, let alone to appreciate them. If not for the critic who can evaluate them from a comprehensive point of view, and interpret them in a understandable way to the society, millions of pieces of art are going to be thrown away as a pile of bargains every year. To illustrate this argument, one need look no further than "Don Quixote”. During 18th century, this novel was regarded no more than a farce at all. Nevertheless, ever since 19th century, people have always shown positive evaluation for it. And according to a recent authoritative vote, this novel is appraized as the top greatest novel in the history.Who did such a astonished change? Obviously not Saiwantisi. This contribution should be attributed to several critics  such as Byron and Heine. It was their creative critique that enriched the connotation of the work, and bestowed a lasting value to it. So we can't abase the value of critics.

Admittedly, sometimes excessive and inappropriate criticism might seriously undertake the true value of art, such like the criticism which once criticized Eiffel Towel as a monster, a disharmony and a humiliating failure in Paris architecture. But as long as it has real lasting value, any art will emerge its splendour to the world at last. With the passage of time, the artistic value of Eiffel Towel is established more and more throughout the world. Whoever misses to see Eiffel Towel nowadays would feel embarrassed to claim that he has been to France. However, we could not consequently draw such an unfair conclusion that the critics play a negative role, because both critics and criticism are the indispensable proportion for the field or for artists’ giving something of lasting value.

To sum up, it is safe to say that both the artist and the critic give society something of lasting value despite of different roles. The criticism is to the art what tongue is to the cate.The arts and criticism are like twin and depend on each other.The artist creates value to the society so does the criticist.(761)
我熬夜到现在，实在撑不住了，只看了你的前两段。好话大家都说了，我就唱黑脸，挑个刺。:lol
加油！

wsdegUID: 199069

拜读了社长的大作，厉害！！:O:O

1。insofar as 这么用应该是没错的:handshake
2。The criticism is to the art what tongue is to the cate
     是什么意思？？:confused::confused:
3。Even one never dislike music, novel, painting, just paying attention to the prosperous amusement and public media business 感觉不对啊

o想知道社长写了多长时间啊:confused::confused:

[ Last edited by wsdeg on 2005-8-13 at 08:17 ]

polymathUID: 179557

谢谢大家提出了这么多建议！:)

it is the artist instead of the critic, gives something of lasting value to our society//这一句是不是想要用强调句？it is the artist instead of the critic, /要不要加个who，如果不要的话，好象句子的主谓成分有点问题/gives something of lasting value to our society

老外的作文里出现了it is the artist， not the critic, provides something of lasting value
所以偶相信这个who可以不用加！

The criticism is to the art what tongue is to the cate

刚查了一下，最后个词用错了！一直以为它是cater的名词，就是食物，佳肴什么的。汗！郎文上居然没有！不过意思好理解呀？评论对于艺术就如同舌头对于食物，可以鉴定价值的所在。

Even one never dislike music, novel, painting, just paying attention to the prosperous amusement and public media business ，one can acknowledge what a marvelous need of people for arts.感觉不对啊

那里感觉不对？说一下！
这篇文章从下午3带内多开始写，加上查资料，翻字典，当然中间偶妈一会拿点东西来喂我吃，一会说几句！:L太好了！所以大概一共写了3个小时左右！效率低吧！考场上偶肯定写不了这么多！汗！偶在精简一下！算是定稿！:victory:

[ Last edited by polymath on 2005-8-13 at 12:33 ]

wsdegUID: 199069

Even one never dislike music, novel, painting, just paying attention to the prosperous amusement and public media business ，one can acknowledge what a marvelous need of people for arts.感觉不对啊

甚至一个人 从来不 讨厌？？

polymathUID: 179557

Originally posted by wsdeg at 2005-8-13 12:55
Even one never dislike music, novel, painting, just paying attention to the prosperous amusement and public media business ，one can acknowledge what a marvelous need of people for arts.感觉不对啊
...

:$发现的问题好！本来的意思是：即使某个人一点都不喜欢音乐，小说，等等！
居然没忘了2个否定词用在一起啊！汗！你提的意见很好啊！
修正以后的句子： Even one does not like  music, novel and painting at all,

阿择菜UID: 2110339

144. "It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value."
*a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.
是艺术家而不是批评家，带给社会一些具有持久价值的东西。（习作17，2005/08/12） ☆☆☆☆
According to the speaker, it is the artist instead of the critic, gives something of lasting value to our society. I agree insofar as the artist gives us many things of lasting vaule[value]. At the same time, however, by evaluating works of art, the critic also plays a great role in preserving lasting value for society. Otherwise, a lot of great valuable works would bury in oblivion and their lasting value suffered.

On the one hand, no one would deny that artists create art and it brings the society both material and spiritual wealth of lasting value. First of all, by providing the society with a great deal of artistic works such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc., the artist directly shows us beauty of the world. For example, when listening to a piece of classic music like <The Blue Danube>, we can not only enjoy the melody, but also free our tension and anxiety. And a happy feeling may appear when appreciating a wonderful painting such as <Mona Lisa>. Even one never dislike music, novel, painting, just paying attention to the prosperous amusement and public media business, one can acknowledge what a marvelous need of people for arts. Second, all great art has the power of advocating the good qualifications of human world, attacking the ugly and evil behavior and thought and providing endless spirit supply. For instance, as one of the greatest novels in the history, <War and Peace> in fact  teaches us many insightful thoughts and ideas about life and world. From this novel, we can not only understand the world more deeply, but also learn to distinguish between right and wrong, good and evil, beauty from ugliness, frightfulness and nicety. Another fitting example is Mozart’ music. Many pregnant women nowadays are advised to listen to music in the expectance of promoting the fetus mental development. And one interesting research has found that only certain melody created by Mozart would has such benefits to fetus. Such values of art would never disappear with time going, but become more cherished by people.[例子是很丰富，但是都是平行的，没什么深刻的观点进行深入，有点列举的感觉，我个人感觉例子多了也不好，要通过例子增强文章的论证的深度]

On the other hand, critics, by helping us understand the significance and revealing the importance and inconsequence of different art work, can also creat[create] something of lasting value. As we all know, although the essence of art is the concentrated reflection of the society, the life and so on, the meaning of art often oversteps them. As a result, many masterpieces are so obscure and imaginative that an ordinary person ususlly[usually] lacks sensitiveness to notice them, let alone to appreciate them. If not for the critic who can evaluate them from a comprehensive point of view, and interpret them in a understandable way to the society, millions of pieces of art are going to be thrown away as a pile of bargains every year. To illustrate this argument, one need look no further than "Don Quixote”. During 18th century, this novel was regarded no more than a farce at all. Nevertheless, ever since 19th century, people have always shown positive evaluation for it. And according to a recent authoritative vote, this novel is appraized as the top greatest novel in the history. Who did such a astonished change? Obviously not Saiwantisi. This contribution should be attributed to several critics  such as Byron and Heine. It was their creative critique that enriched the connotation of the work, and bestowed a lasting value to it. So we can't abase the value of critics.[这段写的比较好]

Admittedly, sometimes excessive and inappropriate criticism might seriously undertake the true value of art, such like the criticism which once criticized Eiffel Towel as a monster, a disharmony and a humiliating failure in Paris architecture. But as long as it has real lasting value, any art will emerge its splendor to the world at last. With the passage of time, the artistic value of Eiffel Towel is established more and more throughout the world. Whoever misses to see Eiffel Towel nowadays would feel embarrassed to claim that he has been to France. However, we could not consequently draw such an unfair conclusion that the critics play a negative role, because both critics and criticism are the indispensable proportion for the field or for artists’ giving something of lasting value.

To sum up, it is safe to say that both the artist and the critic give society something of lasting value despite of different roles. The criticism is to the art what tongue is to the cater. The arts and criticism are like twin and depend[independent] on each other. The artist creates value to the society ，so does the critics.(761)

[文章的例子真多，语言不错，观点也比较适中，但是逻辑上层次感不强！没有过人的深刻的分析，让人觉得很平庸的一个观点，没什么新意，想冲击6分不太可能。。不过整体来说还是很不错的]