issue59G-89-互助社－８.１４同主题

keeyangUID: 2120118

今天没时间看了，如果明天还没人改，我来改。

我看你写的是完全反对，下面是我看到一片不错的范文和评价，可以参考一下

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... ghlight=59%2Bxiaohe

melinda2036UID: 2108044

谢谢提供的范文哈．

keeyangUID: 2120118

59"Too much emphasis is placed on role models. Instead of copying others, people should learn to think and act independently and thus make the choices that are best for them."
Too much emphasis is placed on role models

The speaker asserts that role models are being paid too much attention, and by doing so, people became laziness and dependent instead of making the choices that are best for them. In my point of view, I disagree with the speaker for some obvious reasons.

To begin with, the first point that should be made clear is that what is the definition of role model and what area it covers. If the speaker defines it as general models in various fields from economy to politics then to science, or elites who obtain wealth and social status, then too much emphasis on these models may not be good.为什么？要论证一下。 Then if it means that individual model in everyone’ heart, then the model here may have more meaningful items. 意思表达的不清楚 Except these models advocated in the society, each person may have his or her own model to fit his or her life goal. Just as in one hundred people’ eyes, there are one hundred Hamlets, different people may choose distinct model according to their various life experience and value, even the same people may have diverse model for him or her to follow in different life period. 感觉这里 follow 不对，因为这是你自己没有独立思考，所以才回去follow别人As for me, what I admire now is totally different from that of my childhood. When I was a child, l admired the person in the fiction who has the special ability to predict the future, which is obviously immature. But now, the real model in my heart is an American educator, named DingDaWei, who devote himself in the Chinese education. He left his family and gave up the better life and come here to teach in a town. He even refused the higher salary and insisted to be paid as the other teachers in the town school. I paid much attention on what he did as what he said, and being moved by him time after time. In this sense, paying attention on the real model in one’s own point of view does not hurt the ability to think independently. 这个例子要说明不同时期有不同的偶像，是不是可以从反面说明缺乏独立思考呢?我给你推荐的范文中讨论的也是这个问题，不知你怎么理解的

In addition, even it is not good enough, 说得太抽象，怎么叫不够好？你要的表达意思是不是：even the role model hurt our independent thinking to some extent, it still serve as a moral model that benegit the sociel  general model still provides some moral powers and value as well as individual models to people. When we were children, we were brought up with the images of the several of famous examples. The first came to mind is LeiFeng, the one that every one in China may know his repeated heart-warming deeds and impressive high moral standard. His sprits enlighten us in our younger days and show us the responsibilities that every one should hold in the society. These general models play role in educate people, especial young people.

Admittedly, too much emphasis put on these general models may have some side effects, for it is indicative of that people accept social rules and morality with no doubt. With the development of cognition, 应该是随着时代的变迁吧，而不是认识的问题what is moral today may be immoral tomorrow. People need to view these general models with sharp eyes and critical thinking. So it is up to people to make more rational choice on the models presented in society.

In summary, the model, no matter general or individual, plays important part in leading people to pursuing ideal as well as success, for people are educated and inspired by these model. At the same time, people should take more mature way to choose their own models to help them fulfill their life expectations

关于逻辑结构的问题，有一点就是范文中争论的那样，你的观点可以理解，但是反方的观点也很强：如果不是对榜样强调过多，那么你为什么每个时期都要找一个偶像，而不时自己思考该怎么选择呢？需要在考虑一下。第二点解释榜样的道德作用，然后后面又有让步，很不错。

看的不太仔细，我发现的一些语法错误用蓝颜色标出来了。

melinda2036UID: 2108044

是看问题角度不一样吗？我觉得每个时期都有不同的偶像正好说明了在选择偶像这件事上人们是理智的，是有选择性的，他们总是根据自己一个时期的特定认识或者需要选择自己的偶像，而不是被动的接受社会上公认的看起来象那么回事的偶像．我觉得可能没把观点表达清楚．