issue130 v6 8。21

hustzwjUID: 203387

130"How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."


10:45 2005-8-21

I concede with the speaker that children's socialization is important to the destiny of society, while at the same, we have tried our best to raise children not only in social areas but also in other fields.

Admittedly, instructing children how to socialize is of great importance to our society's destiny. On the one hand, the children's better skills to communicate smoothly with others add to the harmony of society after their graduation because such characters could be extended to their later workplace, where they will try to get well along with their colleagues for a suitable position in the company. Suppose whenever the children deliberately find faults with and show cold face to others, our society will be incredible with its frustration in the future. The socialization's importance is also reflected in the necessity to develop children's appropriate value systems to find their niches in the society, which contributes to the balanced structure of the society without any fields being left behind too far. If all students regard the math as the most valuable subject and crush into that area, query what about the inventions in technology, which bring numerous convenient applications like air-conditioning and so on to us. Therefore, the socialization's effect on society should not be neglected.

Actually, in our modern society we have made various efforts to raise children in their ability to socialize. At the threshold, in my view, a better society means the tolerance to different ideas and people from different counties. We must acknowledge that through the whole education system we have been continuously emphasizing to the students that all human beings on this planet earth are equal, despite the differing languages, skin colors, genders, and customs. The efforts have greatly helped the improvement in people's attitudes. Today, every American citizen enjoys the equal right to vote, get the same work opportunity and so on. Besides, students have also been instilled the concept concerning importance of cooperation with others. From the personal level, like the requirement of study group in university, to the national level, like the economical and political cooperation between China and United States since 1970s, benefiting both sides to some extent, a large pool of convincing win-win reality through cooperation reveal the true value of collaboration to children. Children are receiving comprehensive education that qualifies them to bring a better society in future.

Furthermore, we are also trying other efforts to guarantee children's confidence to make a better future. Nowadays, the advanced technology plays a leading role in ensuring any country's booming economy or leading political position in the international platform, while the flourishing economical development could provide the basis for other areas' progress like art, law and so on, which are necessities for a better society. In fact, through the continuous big investment on various researches concerning the industrialization, a lot of students have been attracted to the study of high technologies. For instance, several years ago, along the rocketing profits in biological companies in United States, many biological departments in famous universities received numerous applications from students including those may have great potential in science research.

In conclusion, through the efforts in children's socialization and other relevant aspects, we are providing the children those capabilities to construct a better society.

11:32 2005-8-21

kobestrongUID: 2117374

占位

kobestrongUID: 2117374

I concede with the speaker that children's socialization is important to the destiny of society, while at the same, we have tried our best to raise children not only in social areas but also in other fields.

Admittedly, instructing children how to socialize is of great importance to our society's destiny. On the one hand, the children's better skills to communicate smoothly with others add to the harmony of society after their graduation because such characters could be extended to their later workplace, where they will try to get well along with their colleagues for a suitable position in the company. Suppose whenever the children deliberately find faults with and show cold face to others, our society will be incredible with its frustration in the future. (On the other,要有呼应) The socialization's importance is also reflected in the necessity to develop children's appropriate value systems to find their niches in the society, which contributes to the balanced structure of the society without any fields being left behind too far. If all students regard the math as the most valuable subject and crush into that area, query what about the inventions in technology, which bring numerous convenient applications like air-conditioning and so on to us. Therefore, the socialization's effect on society should not be neglected.你说的第二层没看懂是什么意思??:confused:
Actually, in our modern society we have made various efforts to raise children in their ability to socialize. At the threshold, in my view, a better society means the tolerance to different ideas and people from different counties. We must acknowledge that through the whole education system we have been continuously emphasizing to the students that all human beings on this planet earth are equal, despite the differing languages, skin colors, genders, and customs. The efforts have greatly helped the improvement in people's attitudes. Today, every American citizen enjoys the equal right to vote, get the same work opportunity and so on. Besides, students have also been instilled the concept concerning importance of cooperation with others. From the personal level, like the requirement of study group in university, to the national level, like the economical and political cooperation between China and United States since 1970s, benefiting both sides to some extent, a large pool of convincing win-win reality through cooperation reveal the true value of collaboration to children. Children are receiving comprehensive education that qualifies them to bring a better society in future. 你把社会化教育分为容忍和合作来说可以,可是都没有说透我们如何做到了这两方面,关键应该落在教育上!
Furthermore, we are also trying other efforts to guarantee children's confidence to make a better future. Nowadays, the advanced technology plays a leading role in ensuring any country's booming economy or leading political position in the international platform, while the flourishing economical development could provide the basis for other areas' progress like art, law and so on, which are necessities for a better society. In fact, through the continuous big investment on various researches concerning the industrialization, a lot of students have been attracted to the study of high technologies. For instance, several years ago, along the rocketing profits in biological companies in United States, many biological departments in famous universities received numerous applications from students including those may have great potential in science research. 这段不好,后面的论证和你的中心句有偏差
In conclusion, through the efforts in children's socialization and other relevant aspects, we are providing the children those capabilities to construct a better society.

总体结构可以
但是每段内的论证还要斟酌,几处都是擦边
这是我当时写这篇的提纲:
1.社会化教育对孩子以及今后社会的重要性  
2.除了社会化教育外,还要注重培养孩子的智力,创造力,性格
3.对于以上方面,我们的教育已经有所进步;同时还有些不足(暴力色情等信息的泛滥)还应改善.