issue 36 求拍

CharaznablezUID: 2140987

issue36 The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them,not by their contemporaries.

Can a person's greatness can be judged only by the future people ,as the author claims ? In my points of view,it is may be true in some extent . However, in most cases ,both contemporaries and further people can recognize a person's significance.

Admittedly, history is repelety with examples such  the individual whose rightness and greatness not being recoganize at that time is discoveried later. Innovation and revolution are often suffered from these treatments for many people do not like new things. When faced new things, they feel unfamiliar with them and subconsciously unlike them even think the new things are a kind of betraying the classic systems. looking back into history , Shakespeare's workings have suffered these criticism , Copernicus' thoery of heliocentric which is proven true today was not accepted by the medieval religious people as a result of enunciating his theory that  earth and other planet are revolve arond the sun oppositing to the geocentric cosmology of Ptolemy which is accepted from the time of Aristotle as a result Bruno who support his theory was condemned and burned at the stake. what about Beethoven ,beacuse of his style is different from the classic music ,people appraise low of his workings at first. We lose justicial points of view when facing things we do not familiar with. Therefore, something we consider it is wrong may be proven right in the future.

There also are many people whose significance are recognized immediatelly .In the scientific area,many new theorys which may reverse the early view of world also get approvation immediately though there may be some fierce debates at first. The theory of relativity is a fateful strike to the classic theorys of physics which was revered as some few truth existing on the earth since Newton period. But after an eclipse , scientists found that the light bend during passing through sun and they immediatelly accepted the thoery of Einstein. Faraday is the same. After showing his experiment and invented the dynamo he was famed as the great scientist at that time.

In the realm of business , great achievement is recognized quickly.  The achievement of business is so obvious and viewable that people give good practitioners ,chief executive officers or managers high praise without hesitation. The CEOs of GE , Microsoft and Wal-Mart often are regarded as accomplishable people. In China ,Liu Chuanzhi or Zhang Ruimin often cited as an example of good entrepreneur whose company is one of the 500 best companys in the world.

In conclusion , the accomplishments of many people were widely accepted by the general population in their own time. Nevertheless, those accomplshments especially relevant to innovation and revolution as well as hard to prove at that time can not be accepted without historical perspective.

CharaznablezUID: 2140987

大家拍啊,必回拍

abawtresbonUID: 2164961

Can a person's greatness can be judged only by the future people ,as the author claims ? In my points of view,it is may be true in some extent . However, in most cases ,both contemporaries and further people can recognize a person's significance. 这句话很简洁,我要向你学习.

Admittedly, history is repelety (这个词什么意思啊,是filled的意思吧,可能拼错了) with examples such  as the individual whose rightness (我觉得正直似乎跟伟大不搭) and greatness not being recoganize(--ed)  at that time is(might be尽量不要太绝对的好)  discoveried later. Innovation and revolution are often suffered from these treatments for many people do not like new things (我觉得似乎用cannot accept new things quickly比较好). When faced (with) new things, they feel unfamiliar with them and subconsciously unlike them even think the new things(new things 用得太多了,最好换个词)  are a kind (somewhat) betraying the classic systems. looking back into(to)  history , Shakespeare's workings(works)  have suffered these criticism , Copernicus' thoery of heliocentric which is proven(has been proven to be)  true today was not accepted by the medieval religious people as a result of enunciating his theory that  earth and other planet are revolve arond the sun oppositing to the geocentric cosmology of Ptolemy which is accepted from the time of Aristotle as a result Bruno who support(supported)  his theory was condemned and burned at the stake. what about Beethoven(?)  ,beacuse of his style is different from the classic music ,people appraise low of his workings at first. We lose justicial points of view when facing things we do not familiar with. Therefore, something we consider it is wrong may be proven right in the future.

There also are (are also) many people whose significance (+ of their greatness) are recognized immediatelly .In the scientific area,many new theorys which may reverse the early view of world also get approvation immediately though there may be some fierce debates at first. The theory of relativity is a fateful strike to the classic theorys of physics which was revered as some few (这里我不明白你要表达什么,不过some few语法上应该是不对的) truth existing on the earth since Newton(Newton's)  period. But after an eclipse , scientists found that the light bend during passing through sun and they immediatelly accepted the thoery of Einstein. Faraday is the same(So is Faraday's.) . After showing his experiment and invented the dynamo he was famed as the great scientist at that time.

(前面加个连接词吧) In the realm of business , great achievement is recognized quickly.  The achievement of business is so obvious and viewable that people give good practitioners ,chief executive officers or managers high praise without hesitation. The CEOs of GE , Microsoft and Wal-Mart often are regarded as accomplishable people. In China ,Liu Chuanzhi or Zhang Ruimin (are) often cited as an example(examples)  of good entrepreneur(entrepreneurs)  whose company is one of the 500 best companys in the world.

In conclusion , the accomplishments of many people were (are) widely accepted by the general population in(at)  their own time. Nevertheless, those accomplshments especially relevant to innovation and revolution as well as hard to prove at that time can not be accepted without historical perspective.(最后一句话武断了,还有cannot是连起来的)

helenlhhUID: 2127690

思路比较清晰，问题主要是三段的论证全都是罗列例子，改卷的人是不会给你高分的。尽可能去想想有没有可能换一种论证手段。还有，那两个中国人的例子我觉得可以换掉，因为ETS不熟悉，找个他们熟悉的人物更有说服力

CharaznablezUID: 2140987

谢谢啊.能不能具体说说 还怎么论证比较好啊?  还有谢谢阿宝 帮我找了那么多错误 ~

christie.yayaUID: 2187498

论证手段应该还有类比，比喻，反证什么的吧

sigtemUID: 2169461

结尾段是不是应该再多写点？

helenlhhUID: 2127690

原帖由 Charaznablez 于 2006-7-17 10:10 发表
谢谢啊.能不能具体说说 还怎么论证比较好啊?   

论证方法我放在学习心得交流贴上了