Argument216 CLVolkov 4月作文小组第13次作业

CLVolkovUID：2305902

TOPIC: ARGUMENT216 - The following appeared in a magazine article about planning for retirement.

"Because of its spectacular natural beauty and consistent climate, Clearview should be a top choice for anyone seeking a place to retire. As a bonus, housing costs in Clearview have fallen significantly during the past year, and real estate taxes remain lower than those in neighboring towns. Nevertheless, Clearview's mayor promises many new programs to improve schools, streets, and public services. Retirees in Clearview can also expect excellent health care as they grow older, since the number of physicians in the area is far greater than the national average."
WORDS: 357          TIME: 0:29:38          DATE: 2007-4-6

The article argued that Clearview should be a top choice for retirees to live, based on the natural conditions, the last years' fallen housing costs, lower real estate taxes compared to neighboring towns, mayor's promise of improving public services and good health cares brought by the greater number of physicians. However, it should be noted that some of them could be misleading informations.

Firstly, the article didn't give the reasons behind the falling of housing costs in Clearview. Those information could be very important for a judgement, since if it was temporary factors causing housing costs to drop, no assurances of maintainence of the low cost could be given. Besides, as cost coming lower, what would the living condition be? Maybe the cause of drop in housing cost last year was just the result of housing condition coming worse. Thus it is unpersuasive to attract people.

Secondly, what is the comparison of real estate taxes between Clearview and national average? The taxes in this region may be much higher than national average and the one in Clearview may happen to be the lowest one among them, while still much higher than national average. That wouldn't be an available term for attracting retirees.

Thirdly, no information on speciality of physicians in the area were given. As retirees are people who is aged, physicians on taking care of the common illness of old people are needed. What if physicians in the area not trained at looking after the old? Thus excellent heal care remained skeptical.

Last but not least, all mayor promises such conditions to persuade people to vote for them. And even if the mayor fulfill the promise, what are they going to do with retirees? More specific information of these programs is still needed for judgement.

In all, this article may be a piece of intelligence for people who are planning for retirement to trace up. As a magazine article, there is no need for it to provide such specific informations. But it would be insufficient to make a judgement. Author of the article should have provided the way of inquiring to make more conveniences for retirees.


个人感觉是字太少了一点，在写的时候对字数似乎没什么数，加上因为设置了不限时间但又想赶快写完，所以写成这样……除此以外似乎对于时态并没有予以太多的注意。还望修改者指正。

寂寞樱花UID：2306511

The article argued that Clearview should be a top choice for retirees to live, based on the natural conditions, the last years' fallen housing costs, lower real estate taxes compared to neighboring towns, mayor's promise of improving public services and good health cares brought by the greater number of physicians. However, it should be noted that some of them could be misleading informations.

Firstly, the article didn't give the reasons behind the falling of housing costs in Clearview. Those information could be very important for a judgement, since if it was temporary factors causing housing costs to drop, no assurances of maintainence of the low cost could be given. Besides, as cost coming lower, what would the living condition be? Maybe the cause of drop in housing cost last year was just the result of housing condition coming worse. Thus it is unpersuasive to attract people.

Secondly, what is the comparison of real estate taxes between Clearview and national average? The taxes in this region may be much higher than national average and the one in Clearview may happen to be the lowest one among them, while still much higher than national average. That wouldn't be an available term for attracting retirees.

Thirdly, no information on speciality of physicians in the area were given. As retirees are people who is aged, physicians on taking care of the common illness of old people are needed. What if physicians in the area not trained at looking after the old? Thus excellent heal care remained skeptical.

Last but not least, all mayor promises such conditions to persuade people to vote for them. And even if the mayor fulfill the promise, what are they going to do with retirees? More specific information of these programs is still needed for judgement.

In all, this article may be a piece of intelligence for people who are planning for retirement to trace up. As a magazine article, there is no need for it to provide such specific informations. But it would be insufficient to make a judgement. Author of the article should have provided the way of inquiring to make more conveniences for retirees.

每段的开头和结尾的两句有一点模板的痕迹，不过我觉得没有问题，结尾的让步么，个人觉得可以去掉，不过LZ喜欢的话这样写也没什么问题，还有就是时态的话除了文章里给的基本都用一般现在时会比较好吧。