ISSUE147，我的第一篇。

isoglucoseUID: 2449346

ISSUE147：Tradition and modernization are incompatible. One must choose between them.

请大家猛拍！！


Must we choose between tradition and modernization, the two seemingly incompatible options in our society, as the speaker contends?  Although I agree that, in certain aspects, they are truely controversial, for most parts, tradition and modernization is reciprocal to each other rather than mutually exclusive. Moreover, there is also exist a crucial problem within this issue, that is how to define tradition and modernization?

In the first place, if we want to know whether tradition and modernization are incompatible, our prerequisite is to understand the definition of them. Our commonly unconscious assumption are always limited a fixed or a potential time to differentiate modernization and tradition. But this measurement could not run effectively and accurately when people is under reproduction that young generations and senior may have gaps between the definition of the another fixed or potential time to confine modernization and tradition. For instance, in arthitecture, the a building can be called modern or traditional due to different persons or groups. Thereby, tradition and modernization can not be claimed simply with no limitations or specification.

As mentioned above, modernization and tradition can exist toghter without disharmony. For example, in general, a cherished antique of a past dynasty is traditional, and mostly our administrator of the museum, do place them with deep caution, and often deposited along with complicated alarming systems, which is the made by the modern scientific technology. Thus, when this issue comes to antique, modern techonology must be used to protect the traditional and historical antique without any doubt or controversy.
Thirdly, in my personal observation, tradition and modernization are being both relative. Consider, for instance, the Christmas Day in western countries are customary and traditional. But in some underdeveloping countries, such as China and South Korea, peopel who vacation in Christmas Day would  be alleged to be modern and fashionable. Therefore while  in some aeras something would be recognized as modern, but in other places it can be considered as traditional.

Fourthly, in architecture, especially in the world most prestigious unversities, the style and structure of the buildings are often traditional from oxfrod to berkeley. In my view, the reason for this is that university take the traditional figure for the long lasting spirit of it. Moreover, the contemporary alumni and alumna of the university would also consider the traditional structure of the building as historical.
We noted earlier that a significant aspect of modern science is its contribution to the rapid pace of technological change. However, at first we must be clear that the modern science is mainly based on the conventional principles of mathematics and physics, paragon such as the plus and minus principles. Without theses theory, the technological changes would quenched by its termination. In short, in most parts, modernization can be called a modification of the traditional postulate, at least to some extent.

To sum up, tradition and modernization is not an absolute opposing things in the world. Something traditional may be modern in other areas, it is not wise to claim that tradition and modernization is incompatible or one must choose between them. A rational understanding of tradition and modernization would help us to know the them and choose between them, if we need.

[ 本帖最后由 isoglucose 于 2008-1-21 15:35 编辑 ]

iq28UID: 2152875

标题格式……唉……
谢谢合作，新人经常这样的，呵呵。

iq28UID: 2152875

楼主在首段给出的态度，传统与现代不尽可能不排斥还可以互补，同时又提出了传统和现代定义的问题。算是比较成功的开头。不卑不亢地全面而简要地回答了题目的问题，而且还引申出了更深层次的相关问题。

正文段落中，文章首先就拿了定义问题下手。文章认为很多时候传统现代共存与否的问题可以有改变他们的定义来消除存在的问题。这个看法在和别人争论一击制胜时是可以的。然而issue的高分是要给阅卷人展示你说清楚一个问题的能力。这么快就把题目的看法给连根推翻了那下面还有什么好说的呢？最起码放在最后一段说这个问题可能会好一些。

第二个主体段，首先用到的例子是现代科技对于传统文物的保护，从而证明了传统和现代是可以共存的。段首讲到了mentioned above，但段落并未从上一个段落所讲到的传统和现代的定义这个角度来说明问题。更严重的问题是，科技和文物，这两者本身就是不同领域的事物，比较他们之间的传统与现代能否共存意义不是很大，至少不是题目想要我们讨论的最核心问题。

第三个主体段落的内容相当新颖。相对于第一个主体段落对于传统和现代的定义从时间问题上给出剖析，这段所选择的出发角度则是地点。不过虽然观念很新颖，但是楼主只是讲到了某一件事物可以即时现代的又是传统的，因为它同时具有两个属性所以他就能证明了传统和现代是共存的么？这段和首段的观念都有某种诡辩的成分在里面，没有从正面回答传统意义上的人们对于传统和现代的共存问题思考。而且光从前三个主体段落来看，段落之间的关系不甚清楚，比较随意。

第四个主体段不知所云……完全在讲traditional？没有看懂，期待楼主进一步解释。

第五个主体段讲到的是科技问题，点选择的很常见，说理也中规中矩，虽然没有发展得比较深入。但是这个段落的出现使得文章段落之间的关系被进一步搞混乱了。看了文章让人觉得楼主完全是想到哪儿写到哪儿，段落之间基本没有任何联系，有点像用很多对此题目观点持相反意见的人的习作的段落给拼凑出来的一篇习作。

总体来说，单个段落内部的说理，尤其是开头和结尾写的还是相当不错的。但是作为一个要对于题目作出完整正面回应的文章，楼主做得还是不够。通过改变定义以及某些角度的回避问题阐述难点可以用，但不能整篇文章都不去正面阐述传统与现代的关系，这样恐怕不能证明给阅卷人你有足够的思维和写作能力。段落之间的关系也不是很理想。


意见就在这里了，细节的语言部分觉得个人有个人的习惯，而且这些东西也不是别人给改短期就能提高的。
楼主加油！