Issue144 =So What=小组第3次作业 by ZhouPYF

ZhouPYFUID: 2633778

素材
达芬奇：其作品至今未被研究透
梵高的作品：potato eater表现矿工的苦难生活
简 奥斯丁的作品：prode and prejudice, sense and sensibility

ZhouPYFUID: 2633778

提纲
大正小负
同意题目观点，艺术家在提供主要的价值给社会，批评家在其有局限的范围内为价值的传播做了一些贡献
1承认批评家所做的一些贡献
2批评家有其一定的局限性
3艺术家所创造的作品才是真正的价值

ZhouPYFUID: 2633778

TOPIC: ISSUE144 - "It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value."

*a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.
WORDS: 390
TIME: 00:49:41
DATE: 2009-6-7 13:01:40

The statement asserts that it is artist who provide something of lasting value to the socity, not the critic. I agree with that statement, while we admit that critic do have some contributes in conducting the values of the art, but artist plays a more important role in providing the things of lasting value than critic do.

First, no one can deny the fact that we do appreciate the works the critics have done, without the guidance of the critic, the works of artists can not be easily understood and appreciated by common people. Take the paintings of Picasso for example, it contains so many abstract elements and it is so hard for us to take the meaning under the surface of the painting at the first glance.

However, critics do have their limitations like inaccurate expression, lack of the related information or the different stands they take. All these limits may lead to one side conclusion or the ignorance of the great artistic work. Yet if Jane Austen changed her style into Gothic just because of the unneutral critics, we may say goodbye to the Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, that must be a big loss for the
literary world.

Of the contrast of critique, the value of the works which provided the artist will not wear away and will continue benefiting the society ever since it is recognized because of two following reasons. For the first thing, works of artist always reflect the contemporary society, to this point it always has a long lasting value to the society, take Van Gogh's painting Potato Eaters for example, which is dark and somber, reveals Van Gogh's intense desire to express the misery and poverty among the miners. And secondly the artistic work is an express of creative passion, a manifestation of spirit and involve deep insights, views of value and world. Leonado, Da Vinci, an Italian artist, who is considered as a universal genius, left many mysteries in his artistic productions which are still worth studying all the time.

In sum, it is the artist who has created the long lasting valuable things to the society and the critic, who is limited due to different kinds of reasons, helps in conducting these things to the common people. The importance of artist in providing the permanent values to the society should be emphasized.

2006201652UID: 2496703

The statement asserts that it is artist who provide(s) something of lasting value to the socity, not the critic. I agree with that statement, while we admit that critic do have some contributes（可以作名词？） in conducting the values of the art, but artist plays a more important role in providing the things of lasting value than critic do.
First, no one can deny the fact that we do appreciate the works the critics have done, without the guidance of the critic, the works of artists can not be easily understood and appreciated by common people. Take the paintings of Picasso for example, it contains so many abstract elements and it is so hard for us to take the meaning under the surface of the painting at the first glance.（感觉后面可以继续写...）
However, critics do have their limitations like inaccurate expression, lack of the related information or the different stands they take. All these limits may lead to one side conclusion or the ignorance of the great artistic work. Yet if Jane Austen changed her style into Gothic just because of the unneutral critics, we may say goodbye to（太口语化吧？） the Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, that must be a big loss for the literary world.
Of the contrast of critique, the value of the works which provided the artist will not wear away and will continue benefiting the society ever since it is recognized because of two following reasons. For the first thing, works of artist always reflect the contemporary society, to this point it always has a long lasting value to the society, take Van Gogh's painting Potato Eaters for example, which is dark and somber, reveals Van Gogh's intense desire to express the misery and poverty among the miners. And secondly the artistic work is an express of creative passion, a manifestation of spirit and involve(s) deep insights, views of value and world. Leonado, Da Vinci, an Italian artist, who is considered as a universal genius, left many mysteries in his artistic productions which are still worth studying all the time.
In sum, it is the artist who has created the long lasting valuable things to the society and the critic, who is limited due to different kinds of reasons, helps in conducting these things to the common people. The importance of artist in providing the permanent values to the society should be emphasized.
  不错的一片文章，论点明确。可以再扩充些，字数不是很多。显得每段内容比较少，不过作者论述的不错，无论是论据还是语言，都值得我学习。

紫薇花开UID: 2461167

The statement asserts that it is artist who provide something of lasting value to the socity（society）, not the critic. I agree with that statement, while we admit that critic do have some contributes(contribution) in conducting the values of the art, but artist plays a more important role in providing the things of lasting value than critic do.

首段明确了观点，但是如果可以给下文一个铺垫
我觉的或锦上添花的。（我没说明白的话，你就直接问我，好了）
First, no one can deny the fact that we do appreciate the works the critics have (already) done, without the guidance of the critic, the works of artists can not be easily understood and appreciated by common people（public）. Taking the paintings of Picasso for example, it (they)contains so many abstract elements and it is so hard for us to take the meaning under the surface of the painting at the first glance.

修改：it contains so many abstract elements that it is too hard for us to take the meaning under the surface of the painting at the first glance. 还有你前面用的是paintings
可是后面是
it contains

However, critics do have their limitations like inaccurate expression, lack of the related information or the different stands they take. All these limits may lead to one side conclusion or the ignorance of the great artistic work.（这里与后面的表达衔接上有的突然） Yet if Jane Austen changed her style into Gothic just because of the unneutral critics, we may say goodbye to the Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, that must be a big loss for the literary world.

1 elated information.
你能把这一点展开吗，展开文章可能就充实一点
当然字数就会多一点（建议）
Of the contrast of critique value 填上这个词或许才能对比吧, the value of the works which be这个不能省吧 provided by the artist will not wear away and will continue benefiting the society ever since it is recognized because of two following reasons. For the first things, works of artist always reflect the contemporary society, to this point it always has a long lasting value to the society。 taking Van Gogh's painting Potato Eaters for example, which is dark and somber, it reveals Van Gogh's intense desire to express the misery and poverty among the miners. And secondly the artistic work is an express of creative passion, a manifestation of spirit and involves deep insights, views of value and world. Leonado, Da Vinci, an Italian artist, who is considered as a universal genius, left many mysteries in his artistic productions which are still worth studying all the time.

这一段英文表达上需要在斟酌一下
In sum, it is the artist who has created the long lasting valuable things to the society and（but ）用这个次会不会好一点
我觉得这里表对比的意思 the critic, who is limited due to different kinds of reasons, helps in conducting these things to the common people. The importance of artist in providing the permanent values to the society should be emphasized. 这句不错

提纲
大正小负
同意题目观点，艺术家在提供主要的价值给社会，批评家在其有局限的范围内为价值的传播做了一些贡献
1承认批评家所做的一些贡献
2批评家有其一定的局限性
3艺术家所创造的作品才是真正的价值

文章主要存在英文表大不好
，还有内部衔接不连贯
继续加油吧

fengrui129UID: 2639927

恩··· 挺好的
不过内容上还要更充实些，换言之字数还要多些
拓展段落时常用的方法有 ： 逻辑推理 举例 求反

First, no one can deny the fact that we do appreciate the works the critics have done, without the guidance of the critic, the works of artists can not be easily understood and appreciated by common people. Take the paintings of Picasso for example, it contains so many abstract elements and it is so hard for us to take the meaning under the surface of the painting at the first glance.  
例如这段 如果是我写的话，·····the works of artists can not be easily understood and appreciated by common people. （为什么呢？） 专家对该人有相关研究，肯定possess insightful knowledge and penetrating ideas while we layman seldom pay attention to color]   Picasso 的例子， 说详细点嘛 At first glance, 没几个人懂···  然后呢评论家讲解一番···  then we ordinary people capture the subtle meaning hidden behind```
再来一个感叹句什么的歌颂下艺术家··

米丽水UID: 2637300

粉色：好词好句
蓝色：不确定
红色：修改的词句
注：清晰版见word附件

The statement asserts that it is the artist who provides something of lasting value to the society, not the critic. I agree
with（agree with sb更常见，就是什么说法同意不知道能不能） that statement（可不可以换个代词,与前面重复）, while we admit that critics do have some contributes->contribution to
appreciating in conducting(我不知道价值能不能引导？)( 这个可以删了) the values（这个不好用复数，单数是抽象的价值，复数就是价值观或者市场价值了，你看lasting value这个价值就是单数） of the art, but the artist(单数名词不能naked,必须有冠词，要么是复数) plays a more important role in providing the things of lasting value than critics do.观点很鲜明，就是支持艺术家赋予了社会最终价值，为什么这么说且看下文。
首先要对你说什么是社会最终价值给个说法吧。然后才能说谁给这个价值更多，谁更少的。


First, no one can deny the fact (学学这个表达There is no denying) that we do（也可以换indeed） appreciate the works
（可是作品的意思，不是工作）the critics have done.这个最好分两句 Without the guidance of the critic, the works of artists can not be easily understood and appreciated by common people. Take the paintings of Picasso for example, it contains so many abstract elements and it is so hard for us to take（这个词表达理解可以吗？grasp） the meaning under the surface of (hidden behind这个词怎么样？你的这个“深层次的信息表达”我不确定)the painting at the first glance.评论家就是帮我们找到或挖掘欣赏的元素。
However, critics do have their limitations like inaccurate expression, lack of the related information or the different stands they take. 这句说评论家的负面影响？评判标准，表达不准确都会影响作品本身吗？看下文All the limits（复数极限的意思）->limitation may lead to one-side conclusion or the ignorance of the great artistic work.哦原来评论家各执一词可能会埋葬真正的作品。 Yet if Jane Austen changed her style into Gothic just because of the unneutral（有偏见的吗？不是这个表达啊） critics, we may say goodbye to the Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, that must be a big loss for the literary world.
本段写评论家的负面效应。读到这，我感觉你写了评论家的优缺点，难道这就是你说的他对lasting value作用很小？我怎么没读出来啊
你应该围绕评论家能不能给lasting value 展开的。即使他充当的有反面的角色成分。整个评论家我感觉不出他没有贡献最终价值，因为你没有定义什么是你所认为的最终价值，所以很难定出评论家到底有多少贡献。两段写评论家总觉得没有给出一个统一的定论。如果你定义了最终价值，然后你说即使评论家怎么怎么着（写他不过是lasting value的工具），但是还是艺术家怎么怎么着(写他们所创出来的价值，例子，逻辑推理，正反对比)。然后得出结论。这是我认为的，仅供参考。

Of the contrast of critique(这句偶看了别扭极了，快快扯去In the contrast就行), the value of the works which the artist provides will not wear away and will continue benefiting the society ever since it is->was recognized because of two following reasons.难道因为艺术品永不褪色，使社会收益是艺术家贡献更多lasting value的理由吗？那我看看它怎么不褪色，怎么使社会受益。 For the first thing, works of artist always reflect the contemporary society. To this point it always has a long lasting value to the society. Take Van Gogh's painting Potato Eaters for example, which is dark and somber, reveals Van Gogh's intense desire to express the misery and poverty among the miners. (他的作品是反映公众的，难道反应公众的作品都是lasting value?不是吧，公众也要响应很好才能让这个作品经久不衰的，使社会受益的。你最好再具体一点描述公众怎么反映他的画，受到鼓舞，内心的彷徨得到抚慰，还是后世的人可以据此了解到当时人们的生活现状进而为社会研究提供些材料？这些写到了我觉得比很多例子只泛泛写要好 ) And secondly the artistic work is an expression (express名词是特快列车，快递，特使的意思)of creative passion, a manifestation of spirit and involves
deep(这个词用在这里合适吗？sharp换换) insights, views of value and world. Leonado, Da Vinci, an Italian artist, who is considered as a universal genius, left many mysteries in his artistic production （这个没有复数抽象的词）which is still worth studying all the time.例子举一个挖得深一点就行。考虑一下把两个例子合二为一？第二个例子中提到的精神表达，深刻见解等在梵高的作品中都能体现。这样就能更有说服力。
In sum, it is the artist who has created the long lasting valuable things to the society and the critic, who is limited due to different kinds of reasons, helps in conducting->showing(我想不到更好的词，汗，但是conduct一定不能) these things to the common people. The importance of artist in providing the permanent values to the society should be emphasized.
本文还是不错的。用词变化比较丰富(比我的丰富多了)。就是注意某些细节搭配啊
单复数啊就OK,段与段的逻辑结构要再组织组织才更有力，该增的增。最主要的要定义你认为的 society lasting value 就好。然后再说谁更符合这个概念才能是lasting value.
仅限参考，不足之处见谅。