Argument207 =August Rush=小组第1次作业 by cqyanbo

cqyanboUID: 2515250

207. It is known that in recent years, industrial pollution has caused the Earth's ozone layer to thin, allowing an increase in the amount of ultraviolet radiation that reaches the Earth's surface. At the same time, scientists have discovered, the population of a species of salamander that lays its eggs in mountain lakes has declined. Since ultraviolet radiation is known to be damaging to delicate tissues and since salamander eggs have no protective shells, it must be the case that the increase in ultraviolet radiation has damaged many salamander eggs and prevented them from hatching. This process will no doubt cause population declines in other species, just as it has in the salamander species.

提纲：
1.       1. 蜥蜴的卵没有保护层，但是并不就意味着会被紫外线破坏。
a)              a. 作者并没有说明紫外线会破坏具体的哪种组织，也许蜥蜴卵的细胞组织并不会被紫外线破坏。
b)              b. 也许蜥蜴选择在山区产卵正是因为防止卵被紫外线照射到。


2.       2. 就算该种蜥蜴的卵因为紫外线的增强而遭到破坏，但是并不代表该种蜥蜴的整体数量下降是因为紫外线的原因。
a)             a. 也许紫外线对卵的破坏程度并不会导致卵无法孵化。
b)             b. 蜥蜴数量的下降也有可能是天敌的增加和环境的恶化。


3.       3. 就算蜥蜴的数量下降是因为紫外线的原因，但是并不代表其他种类的数量也会因为紫外线的增强而下降。
a)             a. 也许其他种类的卵有保护膜。
     b.哺乳动物不产卵，也许紫外线根本不会对胎儿产生影响。

cqyanboUID: 2515250

This argue asserts that the population of species in the earth will decline with an increase trend in the amount of ultraviolet radiation, just as it has in the salamander species. To support this assertion, this argue provides that the population of a species of salamander has declined because salamander eggs have no protective shells to prevent the damage from ultraviolet radiation which is known to damage delicate tissues. However, the information this argue provides to raise its conclusion is too weak to convincing.

First of all, even if the egg of salamander specie this argue mentioned really has no protective shells, there is no evidence to prove that egg will be damaged by ultraviolet radiation. This argue has not provide the details of which kind of tissues will be damaged by ultraviolet radiation. Perhaps the tissue of salamander specie’s egg has no reaction with ultraviolet radiation. Moreover, there is also possible that this salamander specie lays its eggs in mountain for preventing its eggs being damaged by ultraviolet radiation. Thus either one point listed above can prove that there is no relationship between egg’s protective shell and ultraviolet radiation.

Second, even if the egg of this salamander specie can be damaged by ultraviolet radiation, there is no enough evidence to prove that the population decline of this salamander specie is caused by the damage from ultraviolet radiation. This argue does not provide the information of how seriously egg of this salamander specie will be damaged by ultraviolet radiation. Perhaps although eggs have been damaged by ultraviolet radiation, these eggs also can be hatched. On the other hand, perhaps the decline of salamander population was caused by environment deterioration or the increase of enemies. So that, unless can preclude these two questions, the conclusion that ultraviolet radiation can cause the decline of salamander population is ridiculous.

Finally, even if there is possible that ultraviolet radiation can decline salamander population, it is not convincing that population of all species will be affected by ultraviolet radiation. Perhaps other species have protective shells that can prevent the damage from ultraviolet radiation effectively, or have some mechanism that can eliminate the affect of ultraviolet radiation. Otherwise, it is also too hasty to make this conclusion without considering that there is possible that ultraviolet radiation has no use for mammal animals’ fetal.

In the sum, the conclusion of this argument was made without reasonable evidence. To make it more convincing, this argument should provide that ultraviolet radiation can truly damage salamander’s eggs, and this damage can cause these eggs cannot be hatched. For more logical, this argument also should prove that ultraviolet radiation not only damage the eggs of this specie of salamander and decline the population of this salamander specie, but also has the same effect on other kinds of animal species include mammal animals’ fetal.

cqyanboUID: 2515250

额。。。太笨了 终于知道在哪里加word链接。。。

wisleUID: 2578616

这里感觉你的破题思路和我有些相似呵呵，可惜期末没时间写这篇文章，遗憾……==b


字数472


Thisargue asserts that the population of species in the earth will decline with anincrease trend in the amount of ultraviolet radiation, just as it has in thesalamander species. To support this assertion, this argue provides that the populationof a species of salamander has declined because salamander eggs have noprotective shells to prevent the damage from ultraviolet radiation which isknown to damage delicate tissues. However, the information this argue providesto raise its conclusion is too weak to convincing（convince theassertion）.

Firstof all, even if the egg of salamander specie this argue mentioned really has noprotective shells, there is no evidence to prove that egg will be damaged byultraviolet radiation. The arguer has notprovided the details of（on） which kind of tissues will be damaged byultraviolet radiation. Perhaps the tissue of salamander specie’s egg has noreaction with ultraviolet radiation. Moreover, there is also possible that thissalamander specie lays its eggs in mountain for preventing its eggs beingdamaged by ultraviolet radiation. Thus eitherone point（不知道这样是不是地道表达，建议anypoint）listed above can prove that there is no relationship（causation直接写明是因果关系）between egg’s protective shell and ultraviolet radiation.

Second,even if the egg of this salamander specie can be damaged by ultravioletradiation, there is no enough evidence to prove that the population decline ofthis salamander specie is caused by the damage from ultraviolet radiation. The arguer does not provide the informationof how seriously egg of this salamander specie will be damaged by ultravioletradiation.（读了你两篇A，基本上你是用个这类句子引导攻击的） Perhaps although eggs have been damagedby ultraviolet radiation, these eggs also can be hatched. On the other hand,perhaps the decline of salamander population was caused by environmentdeterioration or the increase of natural enemies.So that, unless can preclude these two questions（语序错误these two questionscan be precluded）, the conclusion that ultravioletradiation can cause the decline of salamander population is ridiculous.

Finally,even if there is possible that ultraviolet radiation can decline salamanderpopulation, it is not convincing that population of all species will beaffected by ultraviolet radiation. Perhaps other species have protective shellsthat can prevent the damage from ultraviolet radiation effectively, or havesome mechanism that can eliminate the affect of ultraviolet radiation. Otherwise,it is also too hasty to make this conclusion without considering that there ispossible that ultraviolet radiation has no use for mammal animals’ fetal.

Inthe sum, the conclusion of this argument was made without reasonable evidence. Tomake it more convincing, this argument should provide that ultravioletradiation can truly damage salamander’s eggs, and this damage can cause theseeggs cannot be hatched. For more logical(furtherillustration), this argument also should prove that ultravioletradiation not only damage the eggs of this specie of salamander and decline thepopulation of this salamander specie, but also has the same effect on otherkinds of animal species include mammal animals’ fetal.

读完你两篇文章，感觉语言很详实，若能够用一些地道的句子和闪光词汇，会使文章添彩！当然，我个人可能比较偏好这个。但单从考试来说，这样我感觉就可以了，毕竟这个不重在文采（PS：我也是第一次考G，我是这么想的）


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Mason.PDUID: 2592013

This argue asserts that the population of species in the earth will decline with an increase trend in the amount of ultraviolet radiation, just as it has in the salamander species. To support this assertion, this argue provides that the population of a species of salamander has declined because salamander eggs have no protective shells to prevent the damage from ultraviolet radiation which is known to damage delicate tissues. However, the information this argue provides to raise its conclusion is too weak to convincing.

First of all, even if the egg of salamander specie(单数是硬币应该是species 不过建议去掉) this argue mentioned really has no protective shells,(上来就让步，不必了吧) there is no evidence to prove that egg will be damaged by ultraviolet radiation. This argues has not provide(provided) the details of which kind of tissues will be damaged by ultraviolet radiation. Perhaps the tissue of salamander specie’s egg has no reaction with ultraviolet radiation. Moreover, there is also possible that this salamander specie lays its eggs in mountain for preventing its eggs being damaged by ultraviolet radiation. Thus either one point listed above can prove that there is no relationship between egg’s protective shell and ultraviolet radiation.(这段破论的点取得很好 我都没有想到的原因)

Second, even if the egg of this salamander specie can be damaged by ultraviolet radiation, there is no enough evidence to prove that the population decline of this salamander specie is caused by the damage from ultraviolet radiation. This argues does not provide the information of how seriously egg of this salamander specie will be damaged by ultraviolet radiation. Perhaps although eggs have been damaged by ultraviolet radiation, these eggs also can be hatched. On the other hand(这个是和on the one hand 连用的，建议改成Furthermore), perhaps the decline of salamander population was caused by environment deterioration(good!) or the increase of enemies. So that, unless can preclude these two questions, the conclusion that ultraviolet radiation can cause the decline of salamander population is ridiculous.

Finally, even if there is possible that ultraviolet radiation can decline salamander population, it is not convincing that population of all species will be affected by ultraviolet radiation. Perhaps other species have protective shells that can prevent the damage from ultraviolet radiation effectively, or have some mechanism that can eliminate the affect of ultraviolet radiation. Otherwise, it is also too hasty to make this conclusion without considering that there is possible that ultraviolet radiation has no use for mammal animals’ fetal.

In the sum, the conclusion of this argument was made without reasonable evidence. To make it more convincing, this argument should provide that ultraviolet radiation can truly damage salamander’s eggs, and this damage can cause these eggs cannot be hatched. For more logical, this argument also should prove that ultraviolet radiation not only damage the eggs of this specie of salamander and decline the population of this salamander specie, but also has the same effect on other kinds of animal species include mammal animals’ fetal.

简单说一下，这篇文章我看得明白些，可能是因为你的句子简单些。
不过，大量重复单一的perheps/ there is possible that/ there is no evidence to show that这样的话文章看的比较死，需要改进。其他地方很好，尤其是破题点，思维很独到！