作文2.22

lixinjiayouUID: 2754331

2.22 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Most people often let others make decisions for them rather than make decisions by themselves.

When it comes to making decisions, I believe that the vast majority of people will do it by themselves rather than ask others for help.To illustrate this point, let us first think, who knows better than oneself what one really wants? A good case in point is best provided by the brutal truth that people today choose their lover by themselves, not ask their parents to make decisions for them. Because only they themselves know best who they love most, no others can represent their heart.

But that’s only part of the story. Perhaps the most important about making decisions is that whoever makes the decision for them, they are the ones who will ultimately take all the consequences. Again, take the marriage for example. They are the people who will spend the rest of their life with their ‘choices’, so they will not risk their lifetime happiness by asking others to make decisions for them.

To the already familiar example, a few more facts maybe added: most students choose their major themselves because they know best what they like; most people choose their career themselves because they know what they are good at and bear all the consequences of their choice.

Besides, another equally significant aspect is that making decisions oneself is a good manifestation of confidence and courage. In most cases, people tend to behave like a strong minded person rather than a coward who is always asking others to make decisions for them.

In conclusion, I think that most people make decisions by themselves, though before the final choice they may take other people’s advice into consideration.

Uranus1989UID: 2756616

2.22 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Most people often let others make decisions for them rather than make decisions by themselves.
When it comes to making decisions, I believe that the vast majority of people will do it by themselves rather than ask others for help.To illustrate this point, let us first think, who knows better than oneself what one really wants?(who knows what you really wants better than yourslef?这样是不是顺一点) A good case in point is best provided by the brutal truth that people today choose their lover by themselves, not ask(asking) their parents to make decisions for them. Because only they themselves know best who they love most, no others can represent their heart.(见过这么说的?represent their mind?)

But that’s only part of the story. Perhaps the most important thing about making decisions is that whoever makes the decision for them, they are the ones who will ultimately take all the consequences(见过这么说的?take the responsibility). (这句的代词指代有问题吧?they到底指代的是谁?)Again, take the marriage for example. They are the people who will spend the rest of their life with their ‘choices’(你要是只是想要强调一下的话，这样呢?it is the people making the choice who should spend the rest of their life with their choices要么你那么指代有点怪，你真的见过这么用的么？), so they will not risk their lifetime happiness by asking others to make decisions for them.  Q  B: z8 M' n' x

To the already familiar example, a few more facts maybe added: most students choose their major themselves(all by themselves)because they know best what they like; most people choose their career themselves because they know what they are good at and bear all the consequences of their choice.

Besides, another equally significant aspect is that making decisions oneself is a good manifestation of confidence and courage. In most cases, people tend to behave like a strong minded person rather than a coward who is always asking others to make decisions for them.

( I3 ^! b
In conclusion, I think that most people make decisions by themselves, though before the final choice they may take other people’s advice into consideration.
写的挺好的，语法问题已经给你标出来了。但是感觉你的分论点很多啊，每个好像又都没有好好说明的样子，要是每个论点再具体一点说一说会不会更好些呢。不过现在也不错了:)

lixinjiayouUID: 2754331

2.23 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Because people are too busy doing many different things, they can do few things well.

With the amazing development of our society, people now are living an increasingly rapid pace of life and are confronted with a lot more problems. However, having too much work to deal with does not necessarily mean we can hardly do things well. My opinion could be supported by the following arguments.

To start with, take students for example. We have to learn several subjects at school and the brutal truth is that many students actually have done fairly well with their study. These many different subjects do not stop them from doing their work well, in fact, different subjects reinforce each other. All scientific observations point to the fact that when faced with a lot of work, periodically transforming from one to another will increase one’s efficiency. Perhaps you still remember your high school teachers’ suggestion that you should take turns to review your lessons so as to improve your efficiency. That is to say we can actually do better when we are doing many different things because we can transform from one work to another to refresh our minds!

Besides, once I have read an article from a science magazine that says people can produce a stimulus in their body which makes them highly active when they are busy with a lot of things. This is not hard to understand, for the old saying ‘if there is no stress there is no motivation’ is now being shared by more and more people. Too much work cause tension in one’s mind, so one will become highly concentrated on his/her work in order to finish all the work before deadline. As a result, this concentration helps one to do better with each piece of work.

However, we suggest all the work should be limited to an acceptable amount. A considerable amount of work would put too much pressure on one’s shoulder that once one fails to cope with it, it will drag one down, ends up doing few things well.

Despite all these, we can safely draw the conclusion that too much work will not necessarily make people perform less well.

lixinjiayouUID: 2754331

谢谢指点，您指出的问题确实是我需要改进的
我会继续努力的，辛苦你拉O(∩_∩)O哈哈~

mangohahaUID: 2758178

When it comes to making decisions, I believe that the vast majority of people will do it by themselves rather than ask others for help.
To illustrate this point, let us first think, who knows better than oneself what one really wants? A good case in point is best provided by the brutal truth that people today choose their lover by themselves, not ask their parents to make decisions for them. Because only they themselves know best who they love most, no others can represent their heart.
建议：文章首段开门见山。明了的提出本文的观点是什么。不要让人从例子里分析。 ) ^9 d- ~) i& G) U& Q; @, L$ j# ^

But that’s only part of the story. Perhaps the most important about making decisions is that whoever makes the decision for them, they are the ones who will ultimately take all the consequences. Again, take the marriage for example. They are the people who will spend the rest of their life with their ‘choices’, so they will not risk their lifetime happiness by asking others to make decisions for them
用两段的语言讲了一个婚姻的例子，仍没有说出，自己的决定才是最重要的.. ]: E" t0 x5 [6 P: F

To the already familiar example, a few more facts maybe added: most students choose their major themselves because they know best what they like; most people choose their career themselves because they know what they are good at and bear all the consequences of their choice第二个学生的例子，之前没有观点，之后没有结论，例子虽意味深长，没能和文章的题目很好的联系一起.

Besides, another equally significant aspect is that making decisions oneself is a good manifestation of confidence and courage 开头很好 指出了 自己做决定的好处. In most cases, people tend to behave like a strong minded person rather than a coward who is always asking others to make decisions for them没有例子做支撑，没有说服力. 7 U8 U6 ?" ]. v6 T( c2 ^

In conclusion, I think that most people make decisions by themselves, though before the final choice they may take other people’s advice into consideration一句话作为一篇文章的结尾，结尾起码要大体的概括文章的内容，各部分思想。一句话是不够的。.

以上仅仅仅仅代表个人的观点，因为自己写作文的套路估计是太老了些，对于这种新的写作方式不敢轻易苟同O(∩_∩)O~
上面的批改可能说的过分了些，不过希望楼主好好考虑这些话，希望能对您有帮助，感觉没用就当笑话好了呵呵。加油
愚人愚见呵呵，感谢您的批改，我会多加注意的

lixinjiayouUID: 2754331

谢谢谢谢，我会注意的，大家一起加油一起进步噢，谢啦^_^

奇流沙UID: 2698749

2.23 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Because people are too busy doing many different things, they can do few things well.


With the amazing development of our society, people now are living an increasingly rapid pace of life and are confronted with a lot more problems. However, having too much work to deal with does not necessarily mean we can hardly do things well. My opinion could be supported by the following arguments.
首段很好啊，观点明了。
To start with, take students for example. We have to learn several subjects at school and the brutal truth is that many students actually have done fairly well with their study. These many different subjects do not stop them from doing their work well, in fact, different subjects reinforce each other（简单的单词用的漂亮~~赞）. All scientific observations point to the fact that when faced with a lot of work, periodically transforming from one to another will increase one’s efficiency. Perhaps you still remember your high school teachers’ suggestion that you should take turns to review your lessons so as to improve your efficiency. That is to say we can actually do better when we are doing many different things because we can transform from one work to another to refresh our minds!
Besides, once I have read an article from a science magazine that says people can produce a stimulus in their body which makes them highly active when they are busy with a lot of things. This is not hard to understand, for the old saying ‘if there is no stress there is no motivation’ is now being shared by more and more people. Too much work cause tension in one’s mind, so one will become highly concentrated on his/her work in order to finish all the work before deadline. As a result, this concentration helps one to do better with each piece of work.
However, we suggest all the work should be limited to an acceptable amount. A considerable amount of work would put too much pressure on one’s shoulder that once one fails to cope with it, it will drag one down, ends up doing few things well.
Despite all these, we can safely draw the conclusion that too much(adequate amount of 因为你前面一段提出是适量~~) work will not necessarily make people perform less well.
虽然文章长度有点勉强，但论点简明，结构清晰。缺点就是论证有点欠缺啊，显得文章不丰满。词汇语法都不错~~
粉色--好地方
红色--修改

Uranus1989UID: 2756616

2.23 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Because people are too busy doing many different things, they can do few things well.

With the amazing development of our society, people now are living an increasingly rapid pace of life and are confronted with a lot more problems(more problems than ever before). However, having too much work to deal with does not necessarily mean we can hardly do things well. My opinion could be supported by the following arguments.

To start with, take students for example. We have to learn several subjects at school and the brutal truth is that many students actually have done fairly well with their study. These many(去掉) different subjects do not stop them from doing their work well, in fact, different subjects reinforce(interact with) each other. All scientific observations point to the fact that when faced with a lot of work, periodically transforming(transferring) from one to another will increase one’s efficiency. Perhaps you still remember your high school teachers’ suggestion that you should take turns to review your lessons so as to improve your efficiency. That is to say we can actually do better when we are doing many different things because we can transform(shift有切换的意思) from one work to another to refresh our minds!

Besides, once I have read an article from a science magazine that says people can produce a stimulus in their body which makes them highly active when they are busy with a lot of things. This is not hard to understand, for the old saying ‘if there is no stress there is no motivation’ is now being shared by more and more people. Too much work cause tension in one’s mind, so one will become highly concentrated on his/her work in order to finish all the work before deadline. As a result, this concentration helps one to do better with each piece of work.

However, we suggest all the work should be limited to an acceptable amount. A considerable amount of work would put too much pressure on one’s shoulder that once one fails to cope with it, it will drag one down, ends up doing few things well.

Despite all these, we can safely draw the conclusion that too much work will not necessarily make people perform less well.

恩，我觉得这篇很好啊，而且立意很清晰，看完你的文章，我也就大概知道我错在哪里了。

有一点要非说是缺点，你也可以稍微注意就是是不是把每个论点放在段首更好呢？但是其实我也挺喜欢你这样的表达风格的。很赞啊！

唉，最后再赞一下你的立意：工作多不一定导致做不好。

哦，对了其实你也可以再加一层立意，也就是文章结构变成这样：

1.并非大家现在做不好自己的事

2.就算有人做不好，也不是工作多导致的。

这样文章会不会更有质地一些。

不过现在这样也很好的了

lixinjiayouUID: 2754331

8# Uranus1989
呵呵其实看了你的文章我也发现了，你提的第二层次（正如你文中所表现的）是一个很好的论点
继续努力O(∩_∩)O哈哈~

lixinjiayouUID: 2754331

2.24 Do you agree or disagree: people should live in the city or country all life instead of moving to another place.

There is much discussion today about whether people should live in the city or country all life instead of moving to another place. Those who prefer to stay in one place all life believe that the place of settlement is a lifetime commitment. People who are in favor of moving to another place, on the other hand, argue that changing of one’s living environment offer them a completely new and exciting experience and that sometimes they have to move due to work transform. There is probably some truth in both arguments, but as far as I am concerned, the disadvantage derived from moving to another place far outweighs the disadvantage of living in one place.

As noted, moving to a new place requires certain time of adaption, to the new neighborhood, to the new environment, etc. Personal experience told me that it is quiet a long and hard process, especially for children. When I moved from countryside to the city and transformed to a new school, the helplessness of always getting lost, the miss for my old time friends, teachers, and the pressure of catching up with my classmates really tore me apart. Even though I managed to adapt to the new environment, but not all story ended up like this. Lin, one of my new classmates, who was also new here, told me that she did not like the girls in her neighborhood and that she was not very used to the teaching methods here, either. Actually, I always found her depressed and do a bad job of her school work.

However, that is only part of the story. All reliable statistic evidence points to the bitter truth that the majority of people move because they want to live in a place where is more developed and prosperous. While at the same time, no one is mentally comfortable with the fact that the already full urban areas are becoming even more crowded. In fact, traffic jams, air pollution, and shortage of natural resources lowered the living standards of migrants as well as the local residents. Economically speaking, people who move to another place behave irresponsibly by exerting negative effects on the local residents.

As a result, I firmly believe that it is wiser for people to live in one place all life. As an old saying goes” east, west, home is best”, one should settle down in one place. Perhaps one day you will be proud to tell others that I am a ‘native’ here and I love my hometown.

bensonseuUID: 2707369

24
There is much discussion today about whether people should live in the city or country all life instead of moving to another place. Those who prefer to stay in one place all life believe that the place of settlement is a lifetime commitment. People who are in favor of moving to another place, on the other hand, argue that changing of (多余) one’s living environment offer them a completely new and exciting experience and that sometimes they have to move due to work transform. There is probably some truth in both arguments, but as far as I am concerned, the disadvantage derived from moving to another place far outweighs the disadvantage of living in one place.
As noted, moving to a new place requires certain time of adaption, to the new neighborhood, to the new environment, etc. Personal experience told me that it is quiet (quite) a long and hard process, especially for children. When I moved from countryside to the city and transformed to a new school, the helplessness of always getting lost, the miss for my old time friends, (and) teachers, and the pressure of catching up with my classmates really tore me apart. Even though I managed to adapt to the new environment, but (even though 不能与but连用) not all story(stories) ended up like this (WHAT IS THIS?). Lin, one of my new classmates, who was also new here, told me that she did not like the girls in her neighborhood and that she was not very used to (How about “could not get used to”? ) the teaching methods here, either. Actually, I always found her depressed and do a bad job of her school work.
However, that is only part of the story. All reliable statistic evidence points to the bitter truth that the majority of people move because they want to live in a place where is more developed and prosperous. While at the same time, no one is mentally comfortable with the fact that the already full urban areas are becoming even more crowded. In fact, traffic jams, air pollution, and shortage of natural resources lowered the living standards of migrants as well as the local residents. Economically speaking, people who move to another place behave irresponsibly by exerting negative effects on the local residents.(这段写得不错)
As a result, I firmly believe that it is wiser for people to live in one place all life. As an old saying goes” east, west, home is best”, one should settle down in one place (后半句可以丰富下). Perhaps one day you will be proud to tell others that I am a ‘native’ here and I love my hometown.


（总体读下来还是比较流畅的，尤其第三段写得很不错；相比较之下第二段可以再润色点就更好了！加油！）

mangohahaUID: 2758178

There is much discussion today about whether people should live in the city or country all life instead of moving to another place. Those who prefer to stay in one place all life believe that the place of settlement is a lifetime commitment. People who are in favor of moving to another place, on the other hand, argue that changing of one’s living environment offer them a completely new and exciting experience and that sometimes they have to move due to work transform. There is probably some truth in both arguments, but as far as I am concerned, the disadvantage derived from moving to another place far outweighs the disadvantage of living in one place.






As noted, moving to a new place requires certain time of adaption, to the new neighborhood, to the new environment, etc. Personal experience told me that it is quiet a long and hard process, especially for children. When I moved from countryside to the city and transformed to a new school, the helplessness of always getting lost, the miss for my old time friends, teachers, and the pressure of catching up with my classmates really tore me apart. Even though I managed to adapt to the new environment, but not all story ended up like this. Lin, one of my new classmates, who was also new here, told me that she did not like the girls in her neighborhood and that she was not very used to the teaching methods here, either. Actually, I always found her depressed and do a bad job of her school work.






However, that is only part of the story. All reliable statistic evidence points to the bitter truth that the majority of people move because they want to live in a place where is more developed and prosperous. While at the same time, no one is mentally comfortable with the fact that the already full urban areas are becoming even more crowded. In fact, traffic jams, air pollution, and shortage of natural resources lowered the living standards of migrants as well as the local residents. Economically speaking, people who move to another place behave irresponsibly by exerting negative effects on the local residents.






As a result, I firmly believe that it is wiser for people to live in one place all life. As an old saying goes” east, west, home is best”, one should settle down in one place. Perhaps one day you will be proud to tell others that I am a ‘native’ here and I love my hometown.

mangohahaUID: 2758178

-- 错了。。。原谅

mangohahaUID: 2758178

There is much discussion today about whether people should live in the city or country all life instead of moving to another place. Those who prefer to stay in one place all life believe that the place of settlement is a lifetime commitment. People who are in favor of moving to another place, on the other hand, argue that changing of one’s living environment offer them a completely new and exciting experience and that sometimes they have to move due to work transform. There is probably some truth in both arguments, but as far as I am concerned, the disadvantage derived from moving to another place far outweighs the disadvantage of living in one place. 第一段有点长，看看能短点就更好

As noted, moving to a new place requires certain time of adaption, to the new neighborhood, to the new environment, etc. Personal experience told me that it is quiet a long and hard process, especially for children. When I moved from countryside to the city and transformed to a new school, the helplessness of always getting lost, the miss for my old time friends, teachers, and the pressure of catching up with my classmates really tore me apart. Even though I managed to adapt to the new environment, but not all story ended up like this. Lin, one of my new classmates, who was also new here, told me that she did not like the girls in her neighborhood and that she was not very used to the teaching methods here, either. Actually, I always found her depressed and do a bad job of her school work.

However, that is only part of the story. All reliable statistic evidence points to the bitter truth that the majority of people move because they want to live in a place where is more developed and prosperous. While at the same time, no one is mentally comfortable with the fact that the already full urban areas are becoming even more crowded. In fact, traffic jams, air pollution, and shortage of natural resources lowered the living standards of migrants as well as the local residents. Economically speaking, people who move to another place behave irresponsibly by exerting negative effects on the local residents.

As a result, I firmly believe that it is wiser for people to live in one place all life. As an old saying goes” east, west, home is best”（这个很好，不过感觉不是很适合这里，不用也罢）, one should settle down in one place. Perhaps one day you will be proud to tell others that I am a ‘native’ here and I love my hometown.

整篇文章以一个经历为主干，绝对的贴题

原谅作文也可以这样写啊O(∩_∩)O~

不过自己还是不习惯。。。

能力有限，请楼主原谅，

语言上的错误，没资格挑

结构逻辑上没什么错误，

首段长了点。整体布局还是建议注重一些，感觉有点倒金字塔，

lixinjiayouUID: 2754331

14# mangohaha
其实我也有点觉得那个论语不是十分适合这里O(∩_∩)O哈哈~