HJ的作文铺

hjhjhj1984UID: 160270

我的托福作文铺
请各位多多拍砖

hjhjhj1984UID: 160270

6.15周二
老师是否应该表达自己的政治立场
Teachers should not make their social or political view known to students, do you agree or not, explain why.


Everyone has his or her particular preferences in almost every aspects of life, not only the common things which related to daily routines such as food, dressing, accommodation and transportation, but also some larger ideas about the world, such as the political, economical and social views, or even ideologies. Contrary to the opinion of many people holding the opinion above is my heartfelt disagreement to the idea that teachers should express their political tendencies to students. Why? I will illustrate my opinion in the following paragraphs.

First of all, what a teacher, especially the social science professor, should do is to show students how the conclusion or the opinion is approved or supported by the convincing facts and evidences. He or she should emphasize the facts, data, evidences and the reasoning process, not just merely the opinion or the view itself, because a teacher is neither a politician nor a merchant who, in many people’s eyes, is always eagerly to sell his/her goods, substantially or unsubstantially. If the evidence is persuasive enough and the argument is strong enough, students naturally agree with their teachers, and so the teachers will not try to make their views known but turn to show why it’s sound. That’s the scientific attitude.

Secondly, whether you agree or not is that students already have or will have their own ideas and views about the society, politics and the world. As for a teacher, what he or she should do is to help them to think independently and critically by themselves as the teacher was once one of them many years ago. Take my own academic supervisor- Professor Zhang -for example, she never shows her ideological tendencies or views to our fellow students but only to teach us how to find the answers using scientific methodologies and form our own opinion in the research process deriving from the solid and first-hand evidences by ourselves. If teachers put upon their views upon their students, they will face a tricky problem: how to deal with the different view comes from the group of students and its holders? Dissidents will always be there and the disagreements often exist.

Lastly, nobody can ensure his or her political or social view is absolutely correct because one cannot collect and combine all the information, data, knowledge and opinion of one issue or affair to form an ultimate truth. Consider that many of the ideas and claims we currently accept-democracy, voting rights for women, civil rights for vulnerable people-were once considered to be unpopular, wrong or even dangerous. This historical perspective helps us accept a tenet of critical thinking: What we seem outlandish or totally correct today may become widely accepted or objected a century, a decade, or even a year from now, especially these relating to the society and politics. Since in the realm of the society and politics there is no absolute correctness and rightness, teachers should not make their views upon their students who can also think by themselves.

In order to avoid ideology-driven misreading of some important social or political issues, I do argue that teachers, professors and some elders should not express their political view directly and intensively to the students or youngsters, even though they are out of goodwill and love. A great teacher never strives to explain his or her vision eagerly, S/he only invites you to stand beside him/her and see for yourself and prove for yourself, and the most importantly, s/he teaches you one point is all the social, economical or political views or ideas are arguable and debatable.

hjhjhj1984UID: 160270

6.17周四
成功重要还是失败时保持乐观快乐重要

Do you think success is important, or it is more important to remain happy and optimistic when you fall?


When it comes to success, the definition varies from person to person. For some it means power, for some it means wealth and for others it is fame or other great achievements. However, there is also another opinion that considers the happiness and optimism as the success itself. As far as I concerned, the capacity of keeping happy and optimistic in one’s life, no matter when one’s in smooth water or in adversity, plays an increasingly significant role in our rapid changing modern society. I will illustrate my opinion in the following paragraphs.

First of all, not all people can success in every aspects means that everyone must face one or more difficulties and failures in certain areas. So, how to deal with the sense of frustration and upset produced in this process is a problem everyone needs to address. For example, one of my schoolmates performs very successful in the exams during his middle school period. However, when he enters to the university, he finds himself cannot be able to manage various matters, study different subjects, and read many books in short period of time. He feels stressful. My suggestion for him is to keep happy and be optimistic about his life and study and believe he can adapt to it finally and successfully.

Secondly, keeping happy and optimistic does not equals stopping pursuing success. Success is very important in our daily life and our survival in the everyday world requires us to perform thousand of small tasks without failure. Think about it: engineers whose bridges cannot collapse, stock brokers who cannot lose money for their clients, and copywriters whose ad campaigns must increase sales. All of these will load us heavily and give us great stress. So, keeping happy and optimistic is very critical in the process of pursuing success.

Last but not least, why retaining happy and optimistic facing failure is more important than success itself is because people can learn more from the experience of mistakes and failures. As the saying goes, failure is the mother of success. People often have to cope with many mistakes and failures before they reach the successful finals. Being an optimist, we can learn a lot from the mistakes which can help us try a new approach to reach success.

After considering all the factors discussed above, we may safely come to the conclusion that although success is important in our daily life, happiness and optimism is more significant to our emotional life in the process of chasing success because one cannot success in all aspects, he sooner or later need to deal with negative feelings and more importantly, one can learn more and progress rapidly from failures and setbacks if he or she keep happy and optimistic about the life and the world. In a word, we should hope the success, but prepare for the failure, being happy and optimistic!

missoulmateUID: 2537459

看着没人帮你改，我就自作主张的。。。。。

我只是根据自己的看法改了，有的地方可能不是很成熟，所以不要全信哈

再就是我有点挑骨头，还希望你不要生气。

远远在笑UID: 2742022

先说一下，楼主的词汇知识掌握的很好，所以我改的不好请海涵~这篇文章我留着，好文啊！

Do you think success is important, or it is more important to remain happy and optimistic when you fall?

彩色修改见附件...



When it comes to success, the definition varies from person to person. For some it means power, for some it means wealth and for others it is fame or other great achievements(亮点~). However, there is also another opinion that considers the happiness and optimism as the（个人认为不要加the） success itself. As far as I
（am） concerned, the capacity of
keeping happy and optimistic in one’s life, no matter when one（这里用one好么）’s in smooth water or in adversity, plays an increasingly significant role in our rapid changing modern society. I will illustrate my opinion in the following paragraphs.

First of all, not all people can success in every aspects means that everyone must face one or more
difficulties and failures in certain areas. （这句很别扭，虽然长句很惹眼，但是还是觉得改成用in other words 或者which连接的短句）So, how to deal with the sense of frustration and upset produced in this process is a problem everyone needs to address. For example（好举例）, one of my schoolmates performs very successful in the exams during his middle school period. However, when he enters to the（删去） university, he finds himself cannot be able to manage various matters, study different subjects, and read many books in （a）
short period of time. He feels stressful（不地道吧，under pressure是不是好一些？）. My suggestion for（to？） him is to keep happy and be optimistic about his life and study and believe he can adapt to it finally and successfully.（）这样说好一些吧：believe that finally he can adapt to it successfully）

Secondly（新东方老师很鄙视地讲secondly不要用...）, keeping happy and optimistic does not equals stopping pursuing success. Success is very important in our daily life and our survival in the everyday world requires us to perform thousand（s） of small tasks without failure. Think about it: engineers whose bridges cannot collapse, stock brokers who cannot lose money for their clients, and copywriters whose ad campaigns must increase sales.（太别扭，不如这样：engineers are required to ensure the bridges they build will never collapse等等） All of these will load us heavily and give us great stress. So, keeping happy and optimistic is very critical in the process of pursuing success.

Last but not least, why retaining happy and optimistic facing failure is more important than success itself is because people can learn more from the experience of mistakes and failures.（好长句）
As the（an？） saying goes, failure is the mother of success. People often have to cope with many mistakes and failures before
they reach the successful finals（灵感一现，觉得可以用上destinations）. Being an optimist, we can learn a lot from the mistakes which（指代不明吧，不如改成that或者加上逗号）
can help us try a new approach to reach success.

After considering all the factors discussed above, we may safely come to the conclusion that although success is important in our daily life, happiness and optimism is more significant to our emotional life in the process of chasing success because one cannot success in all aspects, he sooner or later need（s）
to deal with negative feelings and（改成句号）
more importantly, one can learn more and progress rapidly from failures and setbacks if he or she keep（s） happy and optimistic about the life and the world. In a word, we should hope
the（删去吧...） success, but prepare for the（还是觉得删去好一些） failure, being happy and optimistic!（结尾这句太别扭了...换种写法吧？我这样写：In a word,we should always hope success,but at the same time get ready to face failure happily and optimistically! ）

cherrytree90sUID: 2781839

LZ坚持住哦，加油

FFFMZJBUID: 2479141

Do you think success is important, or it is more important to remain happy and optimistic when you fall?

When it comes to success, the definition varies from person to person (+due to their own perspective of view). For some it means power, for some it means wealth and for others (我不知道这样的列举是否地道，感觉以前也没见过这样写的，我不太确定)it is fame or other great achievements. However, there is also another opinion that considers the happiness and optimism as the success itself. As far as I concerned, the capacity (感觉超级适合的一个词汇，唉，我写的时候没想起来)of keeping happy and optimistic in one’s life, no matter when one’s in smooth water or in adversity, plays an increasingly significant role in our rapid changing modern society. I will illustrate my opinion in the following paragraphs.

First of all, not all people can success in every aspects means that everyone must face one or more difficulties and failures in certain areas. So, how to deal with the sense of frustration and upset produced in this process is a problem everyone needs to address. For example, one of my schoolmates performs very successful in the exams during his middle school period. However, when he enters to the university, he finds himself cannot be able to manage various matters, study different subjects, and read many books in short period of time. He feels stressful. My suggestion for him is to keep happy and be optimistic about his life and study and believe he can adapt to it finally and successfully.(很平易近人的例子，不过同样说明了主旨观点，赞)

Secondly, keeping happy and optimistic does not equals stopping pursuing success. Success is very important in our daily life and our survival in the everyday world requires us to perform thousand of small tasks without failure. Think about it: engineers whose bridges cannot collapse, stock brokers who cannot lose money for their clients, and copywriters whose ad (觉得还是不要用这样的缩写吧，感觉有点不是很正式) campaigns must increase sales. All of these will load us heavily and give us great stress. So, keeping happy and optimistic is very critical in the process of pursuing success.

Last but not least, why retaining (超级nice的替换) happy and optimistic facing failure is more important than success itself is because people can learn more from the experience of mistakes and failures. As the (an old) saying goes, failure is the mother of success. People often have to cope with many mistakes and failures before they reach the successful finals. Being an optimist, we can learn a lot from the mistakes which can help us try a new approach to reach success.

After considering all the factors discussed above, we may safely come to the conclusion that although success is important in our daily life, happiness and optimism is more significant to our emotional life in the process of chasing success because one cannot success in all aspects, he sooner or later need to deal with negative feelings and more importantly, one can learn more and progress rapidly from failures and setbacks if he or she keep happy and optimistic about the life and the world. In a word, we should hope the success, but prepare for the failure, being happy and optimistic! (我觉得你是要在结尾段落总结前面的观点，这是大家公认的，但是是不是可以更简洁精练一些呢？)

1、
超级美文，赞一个，结构很清晰，用词和句型都很流畅，变化很多，完美的作文。看了你的文章才知道自己的写作水平有多差，汗颜啊，唉
2、
我的水平跟你差远了，所以我也只能在我的能力范围内给你修改了下，希望你不要介意。
3、
我觉得你现在的水平都不需要练习了，可以直接上去考了，呵呵。
4、
有时间分享下你的练习作文的经历和经验吧。

hjhjhj1984UID: 160270

6.19周六
花钱旅游度假或存钱
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: It is better to spend money on traveling and vacation than to save money for the future?


作业详见附件

FFFMZJBUID: 2479141

6.19周六
花钱旅游度假或存钱
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: It is better to spend money on traveling and vacation than to save money for the future?


作业详见附件
hjhjhj1984 发表于 2010-6-19 23:59

我在我的能力范围内帮你修改了一版

ilovelssUID: 2809027

改了

ilovelssUID: 2809027

In a modern society, people always face the dilemma to choose whether spending money on traveling and vacation or saving money for the future. In my opinion, saving money for a rainy day in the future plays a unique and increasingly significant role in our modern society. I will use the following paragraphs to illustrate my idea.

It’s quite easy for average people to choose consuming (to consume) on traveling or vacation because of the obvious reason that it’s very funny to visit different scenic spots and see different people and their lives. However, as a proverb says, there are two sides of a coin. Although tourism does have its seemingly profound merits, at the same time there lie intrinsic drawbacks in it such as wasting a lot of time, risking life security and so on. Therefore we have no complete evidence to suggest that tourism is always better than saving money.

The most important benefit of saving money is that it can help us to prepare for the future. Many people need to deposit a lot of money in the bank to utilize it in the future, for example, paying for the graduate study, buying laptops, iphones, automobiles and even houses, etc. A case in point is my friend, jun who received a MBA offer from one oversea university but he has not doesn't have enough money to pay his study tuition, though he has worked for two years.

Another benefit of saving money is that it does not contradict with consuming of on traveling not (at) all. If one has much money, he or she can choose to travel at any time to anywhere. But when one doesn’t have money and is in favor of high cost of tourism, it’s very dangerous and risky for his or her life because one who doesn’t know when he or she needs emergency money and how much of it. So, in this perspective we can say that enough money is the base for traveling or something else.

If all the factors above are considered, we will find out that the advantages of saving money outweigh those of spending money on traveling or tourism. Therefore from what has been discussed above, we may safely come to the conclusion that choosing saving (to save) is a rather wise wiser decision, especially for the young people.

ilovelssUID: 2809027

In a modern society, people always face the dilemma to choose whether spending money on traveling and vacation or saving money for the future. In my opinion, saving money for a rainy day in the future plays a unique and increasingly significant role in our modern society. I will use the following paragraphs to illustrate my idea.

It’s quite easy for average people to choose consuming (to consume) on traveling or vacation because of the obvious reason that it’s very funny to visit different scenic spots and see different people and their lives. However, as a proverb says, there are two sides of a coin. Although tourism does have its seemingly profound merits, at the same time there lie intrinsic drawbacks in it such as wasting a lot of time, risking life security and so on. Therefore we have no complete evidence to suggest that tourism is always better than saving money.

The most important benefit of saving money is that it can help us to prepare for the future. Many people need to deposit a lot of money in the bank to utilize it in the future, for example, paying for the graduate study, buying laptops, iphones, automobiles and even houses, etc. A case in point is my friend, jun who received a MBA offer from one oversea university but he has not doesn't have enough money to pay his study tuition, though he has worked for two years.

Another benefit of saving money is that it does not contradict with consuming of on traveling not (at) all. If one has much money, he or she can choose to travel at any time to anywhere. But when one doesn’t have money and is in favor of high cost of tourism, it’s very dangerous and risky for his or her life because one who doesn’t know when he or she needs emergency money and how much of it. So, in this perspective we can say that enough money is the base for traveling or something else.

If all the factors above are considered, we will find out that the advantages of saving money outweigh those of spending money on traveling or tourism. Therefore from what has been discussed above, we may safely come to the conclusion that choosing saving (to save) is a rather wise wiser decision, especially for the young people.