issue51G-89-互助社-8.20日同主题写作

fairy115UID：200324

Today, with such tremendous emphasis on all students meet some standards and "leaving no child behind" rest assured that the education for our children is too concentrated on the mass level while neglects the individual differences, interests, and needs. But whether the education must be conducted on the individual level is still open to doubt.

"Love is ever the beginning of knowledge as fire of light." as the popular saying indicates, interest is the crucial premise to get effective education. Without appropriate learning environment, the brightness dims and the excitement for learning is suppressed. No one would like to devote himself to something they dislike, and then his full potential cannot be explored to reach one's best. A case in point is about the process of constructing Pyramid, most scholars believes that the huge project was conducted by forced slaves, but a Swiss watch-maker gave different opinions because he found that a excellent watch-maker can limit error in 1/1000, but when they worked by force in the World War Two for Nazi, they can only control error in 1/100 level however they tried. Thus the great precise work, Pyramid cannot be constructed by slaves who have no interest do to the job, and this deduction has been further supported by resent history records. Similarly, if we neglect students' interest, and force them to learn something "regulated" effective education cannot be attained. The interest may change one's mind, attitude and then the academic level.
In addition, different needs of different groups of children are also worthy of our attention. Some students want to be a academician while some others would like to be a politician; Minority students need course to tell them their own culture while students with certain religious beliefs ask for special religious lesson; Fulfill the consumer's needs is a perpetual law for business fields and it is will not lose if applied to education.

However, the proposition that "education...specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each students" induces the illusion that the education should be designed for every individual, even if omit the feasibility of such education, we cannot accept it as an ideal way of teaching because the education at individual level can cause at least another serious problem. That is the students cannot learn how to communicate with others, how to corporate with others, and how to learn from others. In the era of emphasizing the notion of teamwork as the bombarded amount of knowledge are around us everyday, any individual should learn skills to enter some group work for limited energy of every single person. Suppose that if every individual are successfully taught into differing one, but no one knows how to unite such tremendous diverse intelligence, just like without a machinist all the single parts can not be turned into a car, we cannot have truly effective education.

Moreover, the given view is seriously flawed by the use of the word "only", it posits the emphasis on individual needs and interests as an absoluteness.
But he fails to notice the diversity of our world, different social development level calls for corresponding education level. In the South African, under the circumstance that the percent of children who can enter school is below 10%, we should not pay much attention on the individual education, rather we should aim at more children having the chance to go to school. In this sense, education would be truly effective only when it is not a scanty chance or luxuries that ordinary person cannot afford, but not emphasis on education designed the meet individual needs and interest.

Therefore, interest and needs of every student are worthy of our attention, and the group learning is not a trivial element for effective education. A more plausible and compelling standard for effective education is the education suits the social conditions, children' needs and interests, and well-rounded nurturing transcends individual level.

fantasianosUID：207837

Today, with such tremendous emphasis on all students meeting some standards and 去掉and否则本句没有主语 "leaving no child behind" rest assured that the education for our children is too concentrated on the mass level while neglects(-ing) the individual differences, interests, and needs. But whether the 去掉the education must be conducted on the individual level is still open to doubt. 第一句的结构有点问题，需要修改一下

"Love is ever the beginning of knowledge as fire of light." as the popular saying indicates, interest is the crucial premise to get effective education. Without appropriate learning environment, the brightness dims and the excitement for learning is suppressed. No one would like to devote himself or herself to something they dislike he or she dislikes, and then his or her full potential cannot be explored to reach one's best. A case in point is about the process of constructing Pyramid, (.)或加that most scholars believes (believe) that the huge project was conducted by forced slaves, but a Swiss watch-maker gave different opinions because he found that an excellent watch-maker can limit error in 1/1000, but when they worked by force in the World War Two for Nazi, they can (could) only control error in 1/100 level however hard they tried. Thus the great precise work, Pyramid cannot be constructed by slaves who have had no interest do to (in doing) the job, and this deduction has been further supported by resent history records. Similarly, if we neglect students' interest, and force them to learn something "regulated" effective education cannot be attained. The interest may change one's mind, attitude and then the academic level. 这个例子表面上符合要表达的论点，但实际上似乎是反过来由“兴趣减少错误”推出“金字塔不是被迫修建的”，而且历史的东西还没有得到完全的确定之前，可能不是太有说服力；如果只用手表的例子再加已扩充可能更好

In addition, different needs of different groups of children are also worthy of our attention. Some students want to be a academician （复数） while some others would like to be a politician （复数）; Minority students need courses to tell them their own culture while students with certain religious beliefs ask for special religious lessons; To Fulfill the consumer's needs is a perpetual law for business fields and it is 去掉is will not lose if applied to education.

However, the proposition that "education...specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each students" induces the illusion that the education should be designed for every individual, even if omitting the feasibility of such education, we cannot accept it as an ideal way of teaching because the education at individual level can cause at least another serious problem. That that指代不明确，和上一句合并，中间用破折号，或者重复说the problem is that the students cannot learn how to communicate with others, how to corporate with others, and how to learn from others. In the era of emphasizing the notion of teamwork as the bombarded amount of knowledge are around us everyday, any individual should learn skills to enter some group work for limited energy of every single person. Suppose that if every individual are(is) successfully taught into a differing one, but no one knows how to unite such tremendous diverse intelligence,(--) just like without a machinist all the single parts can not be turned into a car,(--) we cannot have (get) truly effective education.

Moreover, the given view is seriously flawed by the use of the word "only", it (which) posits the emphasis on individual needs and interests as an absoluteness. 这句是上一段还是下一段的？？
But he (the author) fails to notice the diversity of our world, different social development levels calls for different corresponding education levels. In the South African(Africa), under the circumstance that the percentage of children who can enter school is below 10%, we should not pay much attention on the individual education, rather we should aim at more children having the chance to go to school. In this sense, education would be truly effective only when it is not a scanty chance or luxuries (luxury) that ordinary person cannot afford, but not emphasis on education designed the (to) meet individual needs and interest. TS如果换成说“讨论这个问题必须建立在大多数人能够上学的基础上”，而后面再具体说各地不同，可能会使TS更好地概括本段意思

Therefore, interest and needs of every student are worthy of our attention, and the group learning is not a trivial element for effective education. A more plausible and compelling standard for effective education is whether the education suits the social conditions, children's needs and interests, and well-rounded nurturing transcends individual level.

总评：句子的结构需要注意，会影响理解和得分的，同时注意用词的多样性和he or she的使用（如果觉得麻烦就较多使用复数好了）