Argument4 小木互改站队 第一篇 未限时，狠拍之！

linuariesUID: 2117373

Argument4  第1篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：linuaries     共用时间：不计时间    501 words
------题目------
The following was posted on an Internet real estate discussion site.
'Of the two leading real estate firms in our town—Adams Realty and

Fitch Realty—Adams is clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate

agents. In contrast, Fitch has 25, many of whom work only part-time.

Moreover, Adams' revenue last year was twice as high as that of

Fitch, and included home sales that averaged $168,000, compared to

Fitch's $144,000. Homes listed with Adams sell faster as well: ten

years ago, I listed my home with Fitch and it took more than four

months to sell; last year, when I sold another home, I listed it with

Adams, and it took only one month. Thus, if you want to sell your

home quickly and at a good price, you should use Adams.'
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In this argument, the arguer recommends that Adams is the best choice for those who want to sell their house quickly and at a good price. To support this conclusion, the arguer provides the evidence that compared to Fitch Realty, another real estate firm in the town, Adams Realty has 15 more real estate agents, and more sales last year. In addition, the arguer also cites his own different experience on sale his home with both company. At first glance, it seems likely somehow plausible, but with further reflection reveals that this argument suffers several flaws.

At the first place, to compare the sale result between ten years ago and last year, cannot lead to the conclusion that Adams sell homes faster than Fitch. It might be the case, ten year ago it may take more than six month to sell a home by Adams, and with the macro economy blossoming, there are so many people want to exchange or sell their home by real estate firms that the houses listed with both company are sold faster than before. Moreover, it is also impossible that the former house sold with Fitch ten years ago, locating at the urban without convenient traffic or good community service, was difficult to sell. To the contrary, the later house with good condition was better to sell for Adams in one month. In this case, the assertion of arguer that home listed with Adams sell faster is unwarranted.

At the second place, the conclusion that Adams, compared to Fitch, is obviously superior is not well supported by those cited facts that Adams has 15 more real estate agents. It is possible that Fitch focus in different market with Adams. Maybe, Fitch expands its business by B2C systems which can obviously cut the need of human resource. On the other hand, Adams, regulated in traditional way, need more agents to run the same business as Fitch. This supposition also might explain why there are many agents of Fitch work part-time, thanks to the B2C system, as it is possible for them to finish most of their daily job at home.

Finally, in this argument, to further demonstrate Adams is the best, the arguer cites another important fact that Adams's revenue last year was twice as high as that of Fitch and, in average, the home sale is more in Adams. However, it cannot convince me to believe Adams is better than Fitch. It might be the case that Adams specializes on sale of departments which decorated well so the home sale is higher in average, while Fitch is more welcomed in the urban families who prefer to living in comfortable but less expensive departments. Even if both company run the same business, the date of last year cannot perceive that home listed with Fitch is surely sold at a low price.

In sum, base on those fact and sale experience, the arguer failed to convince me that Adams is better than Fitch in home sale. To make this argument more compelling, the arguer should give more details about both firms.

咯噔UID: 2114564

Argument4  第1篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：linuaries     共用时间：不计时间    501 words
------题目------
The following was posted on an Internet real estate discussion site.
'Of the two leading real estate firms in our town—Adams Realty and

Fitch Realty—Adams is clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate

agents. In contrast, Fitch has 25, many of whom work only part-time.

Moreover, Adams' revenue last year was twice as high as that of

Fitch, and included home sales that averaged $168,000, compared to

Fitch's $144,000. Homes listed with Adams sell faster as well: ten

years ago, I listed my home with Fitch and it took more than four

months to sell; last year, when I sold another home, I listed it with

Adams, and it took only one month. Thus, if you want to sell your

home quickly and at a good price, you should use Adams.'
------正文------

In this argument, the arguer recommends that Adams is the best choice for those who want to sell their house quickly and at a good price. To support this conclusion, the arguer provides the evidence that compared to Fitch Realty, another real estate firm in the town, Adams Realty has 15 more real estate agents, and more sales last year. In addition, the arguer also cites his own different experience on sale his home with both company. At first glance, it seems likely somehow plausible, but with further reflection reveals that this argument suffers several flaws.这句我本身觉得挺好,但那天有人给我看了张贴,说这个开始-就是这句话-使整段没有THESIS,所以建议不要用这句了:p
At the first place, to compare the sale result between ten years ago and last year出场顺序最好就按ARGUE中的先后吧, cannot lead to the conclusion that Adams sell homes faster than Fitch. It might be the case,这个地方难道不用THAT? ten year ago it may take more than six month to sell a home by Adams, and with the macro economy blossoming, there are so many people want to exchange or sell their home by real estate firms that the houses listed with both company are sold faster than before.AND之后已经是另一句个情况了,不如另起一句,更清楚 Moreover, it is also impossible that the former house sold with Fitch ten years ago, locating at the urban without convenient traffic or good community service, was difficult to sell. To the contrary, the later house with good condition was better to sell for Adams in one month. In this case, the assertion of arguer that home listed with Adams sell faster is unwarranted.

At the second place, the conclusion that Adams, compared to Fitch, is obviously superior is not well supported by those cited facts that Adams has 15 more real estate agents. It is possible that Fitch focus in different market with Adams. ??不抬明白.恕对房地产知之甚少哈Maybe, Fitch expands its business by B2C systems which can obviously cut the need of human resource. On the other hand, Adams, regulated in traditional way, need more agents to run the same business as Fitch. This supposition also might explain why there are many agents of Fitch work part-time, thanks to the B2C system, as it is possible for them to finish most of their daily job at home.

Finally, in this argument, to further demonstrate Adams is the best, the arguer cites another important fact that Adams's revenue last year was twice as high as that of Fitch and, in average, the home sale is more in Adams. However, it cannot convince me to believe Adams is better than Fitch. It might be the case that Adams specializes /on/ sale of departments which decorated well so the home sale is higher in average, while Fitch is more welcomed in the urban families who prefer to living in comfortable but less expensive departments. Even if both company run the same business, the date of last year cannot perceive that home listed with Fitch is surely sold at a low price.

In sum, base on those fact and sale experience, the arguer failed to convince me that Adams is better than Fitch in home sale. To make this argument more compelling, the arguer should give more details about both firms.

我觉得这篇总的很好啊:D:D.特别举范例,挺独到的.但里面有些短语错,如SPECIALIZE ON(IN), TO(IN) CONTRARY.另外我觉得这个ARGUE还有错,是基于作者一个人的售房经验.这简直就是非常非常不充分的抽样嘛.但我不知道这一点重不重要.:confused:以上仅供参考哦

linuariesUID: 2117373

谢谢，作文看来一定要别人改才能看出自己的问题，有些都是坏习惯，自己感觉不到的，谢谢指出。

PS: 轮到我来打击一下你了，希望能多找到点错误，让我也平衡以下，哈哈哈哈。