issue7 jingjing(kito)

jingjingtousUID: 2164820

TOPIC：ISSUE 7 - "The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records."
Outline:
1 with the development of digital technology, video record plays a more and more important role in people's lives. It can redisplay the process of one incidence precisely and rapidly.(natural phenomena
2 video surveillance cameras play an evidentiary role in the banks, super-stores, government offices, museums and other important buildings.
3 written documents are superior to video records in many realms such as literary, business, diploma and education.

部分参考《北美GRE范文》

According to the speaker's statement, video record is a more important means of documentation than written record because it can accurately and objectively document the real life. I concede that, in certain aspects, it conveys the temporal, new events, government proceedings, natural phenomena and so forth more quickly than written records. Nevertheless, the speaker overstates it significance as a documentary tool.

In the modern society, with the development of digital technology, video record plays a more and more important role in people's lives. It can redisplay the process of one incidence precisely and rapidly. For example, professional cameraman or journalist can use their video cameras to document the happening of natural phenomena thoroughly and accurately. How is the tornado formulated, how it destroyed the houses, the dairy farms, parks and etc, how residents' reaction toward the tornado? All the phenomena can be documented by video cameras. Nevertheless, the video camera can document the government's proceedings such as elections, meetings, public speeches punctually and accurately, which through the television programs to render it more disclosed and transparent.

Besides, video record is advantageous over written document in other respects. For instance, the video surveillance cameras play an evidentiary role in the banks, super-stores, government offices, museums and other important buildings. They can be a good witness for the stealing, the robbery, the swindle in the court. Moreover, it becomes the most important tool in supervising people's behaviors and forestalling the crimes effectively and efficiently. Notwithstanding the video record have an unsubstituted function mention above, it has little use of documenting quantitative or statistical data.  For example, in the science field, scientists often use the literal documentation for their data of researches and experiments. Admittedly, video cameras play an essential role in helping them observe the phenomena and judge the process of experiments, they cannot replace written records by arranging the complex and huge number of statistics.

Finally, written documents are superior to video records in many realms such as literary, business, diploma, and education. First, when it comes to literary, the great works can reflect the writers' deep-hearted minds and ideals by adding the dimension and richness to the written record. additionally, the audiences can deduct different values and feelings from the same grand work. While the video records as a documentary tool only  reflects one dimension of the incidence its moving imageries. Second, in the business field, many interpretations and demonstrations such as contracts accords or instructions for a business firm's products cannot be documented by video records as to their huge costs and inconvenience. Turning to the second--diploma, until now, there is no collaborating establishment of countries being documented by video records rather than written records. Everybody knows that when we are kids we learn our knowledge and experience through textbooks, even we entered into colleges, libraries or bookstores are the most frequently going places by ourselves. Although modern education allows us to learn knowledge by providing vivid video records such as the lantem slides and the television programs, the main approach for us to gain skills and information is to reading books.

In sum, the speaker overemphasized the manifest of video records and overlooked the essence of written documentation in many fields. On balance, I consider that both of them have dispensable influence in the modern society. Video cameras illustrate the lively and real imageries of incidences, while written records play an significant role in literary, business, diploma and education. Each of them could compensate the other and make people's life more comfortable and convenient.

jingjingtousUID: 2164820

哪位好心人能帮我改一下吗？

kito9695UID: 209685

原帖由 jingjingtous 于 2006-1-14 19:57 发表
哪位好心人能帮我改一下吗？

这次应该是amy改你的，可能这次互改顺序有点乱，大家都没搞清楚，表急阿~

智恩UID: 2160717

Outline:
1 with the development of digital technology, video record plays a more and more important role in people's lives. It can redisplay the process of one incidence precisely and rapidly.(natural phenomena
2 video surveillance cameras play an evidentiary （好词！）role in the banks, super-stores, government offices, museums and other important buildings.
3 written documents are superior to video records in many realms such as literary, business, diploma and education.

部分参考《北美GRE范文》

According to the speaker's statement, video record is a more important means of documentation than written record because it can accurately and objectively document the real life. I concede that, in certain aspects, it conveys the temporal, new events, government proceedings, natural phenomena and so forth more quickly than written records. Nevertheless, the speaker overstates it significance as a documentary tool.

In the modern society, with the development of digital technology, video record plays a more and more important role in people's lives. It can redisplay the process of one incidence precisely and rapidly. For example, professional cameraman or journalist can use their video cameras to document the happening of natural phenomena thoroughly and accurately. How is the tornado formulated（formulated是表达啊，阐述，这里是想说产生或形成吧，form就可以了）, how it destroyed（还有就是用一般现在时就好了，为什么用过去时:confused:) the houses, the dairy farms, parks and etc, how residents' reaction toward the tornado? All the phenomena can be documented by video cameras. Nevertheless,（这里为什么用了个转折词，应该是表递进吧） the video camera can document the government's proceedings such as elections, meetings, public speeches punctually and accurately, which through the television programs to render it more disclosed and transparent.

Besides, video record is advantageous over written document in other respects. For instance, the video surveillance cameras play（换一换，place） an evidentiary role in the banks, super-stores（高级商店？）, government offices, museums and other important buildings. They can be a good witness for the stealing, the robbery, the swindle in the court. Moreover, it becomes the most important（vital） tool in supervising people's behaviors and forestalling the crimes（监视行为是可以的，但是video cameras 怎么能够预防犯罪呢？最多就是拍到犯罪证据嘛，我觉得哈） effectively and efficiently. Notwithstanding the video record（records） have an unsubstituted function mention（mentioned） above, it has little use of documenting quantitative or statistical data.  For example, in the science field, scientists often use the literal documentation for their data of researches and experiments. Admittedly, video cameras play an essential role in helping them observe the phenomena and judge the process of experiments, they cannot replace written records by arranging the complex and huge number of statistics.

Finally, written documents are superior to video records in many realms such as literary, business, diploma, and education. First, when it comes to literary, the great works can reflect the writers' deep-hearted minds and ideals by adding the dimension and richness to the written record. additionally（大写）, the audiences can deduct different values and feelings from the same grand work. While the video records as a documentary tool only  reflects one dimension of the incidence its moving imageries（images）. Second, in the business field, many interpretations and demonstrations such as contracts accords（是想说合同的一致性？ the consistency of contracts,这样比较好） or instructions for a business firm's products cannot be documented by video records as to their huge costs and inconvenience. Turning to the second--diploma, until now, there is no collaborating establishment of countries being documented by video records rather than written records. Everybody knows that when we are kids we learn our knowledge and experience through textbooks, even we（have） entered into colleges, libraries or bookstores are the most frequently going places by ourselves. Although modern education allows us to learn knowledge by providing vivid video records such as the lantem（这个单词不晓得是不是写错了，我都没有查到） slides and the television programs, the main approach for us to gain skills and information is to reading books.

In sum, the speaker overemphasized the manifest（这个词作名次是载货清单的意思） of video records and overlooked the essence of written documentation in many fields. On balance, I consider that both of them have dispensable（应该是indispensable吧） influence in the modern society. Video cameras illustrate the lively and real imageries（我查了哈这个单词是“肖像”的意思，好像没有图像的意思，不知是不是我查的意思不全） of incidences, while written records play an significant role in literary, business, diploma and education. Each of them could compensate the other and make people's life more comfortable and convenient.