3月6日作文（个人第3篇）（斑竹推荐@.@）

bigmasterUID: 2697733

3.6：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Government should pay more attention on health care issues than on environmental issues.

    Concerning the excessive emphasis of health care issues in the statement, I do not agree with the assertion that government should pay more attention on health care issues than on environmental issues. Reasons can be illustrated as follows.
    Admittedly, anyone cannot neglect the fact that society is a constituency of individual citizens. Several immediate, existing social problems, such as health care issues, cannot be neglected. If they are ignored, forcing a low living standard, they will cause great trouble to the society, even rebelling and revolting in attempts to destroy stability of society.
    The reason why I disagree with the statement has to do with the living condition of offspring. Though some investment, such as environment issues, cannot result in immediate profits, it is vital and health of future generations. According to a recent survey, the average temperature of our global raised several centigrade during the past 200 years because of the abundant carbon dioxide in the process of industry. Environment experts point that increasing pollution not only causes serious problems such as global warming but also could threaten to end human life on our planet. In sum, government should take a lot of measure to change this situation.
    Another point why I disagree with the assertion, and which is the most compelling one, is that these two facets of health care issues and environmental issues are not mutually exclusive. If our government can coordinate these two efforts through cost analysis and induction, future societies may reap the benefits of today’s sound investment.
    Consequently, due to analysis and reasons mentioned above, which sometimes intertwine to form an organic whole and thus become more persuasive than any one of them, we may safely arrive at the conclusion that attention government paid on environmental issues should as much as that paid on health care issues.

jiang08UID: 2391146

写的很好！大力推荐
论点来说：让步-反对-升华的顺序很好
语言上很流畅 句型用得也不错
唯一要挑刺的就是 由于这个题一般只能抽象的写 所以看不出你对具体例子的运用
我帮你把标题改一下 不介意吧？

happyfaith2008UID: 2709856

坐在板凳上欣赏~~~

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

08姐推荐的肯定好，围观:D

bensonseuUID: 2707369

3.6：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Government should pay more attention on health care issues than on environmental issues.% U: s' \3 L4 d% V

Concerning the excessive emphasis of health care issues in the statement, I do not agree with the assertion that government should pay more attention on health care issues than on environmental issues. Reasons can be illustrated as follows.6 q* c. G' P0 M# ?
    Admittedly, anyone cannot neglect the fact that society is a constituency of individual citizens. Several immediate, existing social problems, such as health care issues, cannot be neglected. If they are ignored（otherwise会不会更简洁点？）, forcing a low living standard, they will cause great trouble to the society, even rebelling and revolting in attempts to destroy stability of society.
The reason why I disagree with the statement has to do with the living condition of offspring. Though some investment, such as environment issues, cannot result in immediate profits, it is vital and（这里。。。？是不是想说it is vital to the health…？） health of future generations. According to a recent survey, the average temperature of our global raised several centigrade during the past 200 years because of the abundant carbon dioxide in the process of industry（额。。。关于这个温室效应前几天郎咸平好像还批斗了下）. Environment experts point that increasing pollution not only causes serious problems such as global warming but also could threaten to end human life on our planet. In sum, government should take a lot of measure（s） to change this situation.


  Another point why I disagree with the assertion, and（不明白为什么这里要加and？） which is the most compelling one, is that these two facets of （不知道这里of是否妥，楼主觉得用逗号隔开如何？）health care issues and environmental issues are not mutually exclusive. If our government can coordinate these two efforts through cost analysis and induction（牛了！）, future societies（额。。。society也要用复数么？） may reap the benefits of today’s sound investment.
9 l2 f$ |1 W6 ~) F( Z* a    Consequently, due to analysis and reasons mentioned above, which sometimes intertwine to form an organic whole and thus become more persuasive than any one of them, we may safely arrive at the conclusion that attention government paid on environmental issues should as much as that paid on health care issues.（结尾赞！）

（楼主的
词汇量实在像是背过红宝不止一遍的人，很多句子值得学习，先谢了！一些表达上是建议我已标注，望赐教！若这是一篇限时之作，确实一篇好文章！如果再多一点例证，就perfect的了！）