【Flyer杀G作文组】07月14日Issue69-By 潇

红绡UID: 2839171

题目：ISSUE69 - "Government should place few, if any, restrictions on scientific research and development"
字数：463
日期：2010-7-16 1:57:31

Government plays a significant role in scientific research and development which needs the officials funding. Therefore, it is unavoidable that scientists need to rely on government assistance, in turn, to some extent government refrain the freedom of scientific research. However, government can play a positive role in scientific research and development mainly.

Currently, without government funding, scientists would find it difficult to carry out large-scale projects. Such as Human Genome Project which belongs to world-level projects, it cannot produce normally without government financial support energetically. Depending government publicizing and set up sufficient manpower and materials, scientists can plunge themselves into the process of this huge project. As well as Manhattan Project which cost a huge sum of money to manufacture the first atomic bombs of human, it start from military purpose and also make a sense of spanning age. The judgment that such a program cannot accomplish or even start is not to be doubted.

Furthermore, government can also organize scientists to solve problems prioritized based on urgency or importance. When the country meets some difficult problem or urgent situation, government would assign timely core scientists to study and analysis the concrete data to solve the problems concerned society and people. As an example, in 2003, SARS similar to a great plague had been indulging in willful persecution of human life all over the world. Just because of government powerful controlling, scientists researched and developed effective treatment method to save hundreds and thousands of people's lives. Thus, government's positive action cannot be substituted by some individual or organization.

However, to some extent, government has interfering with the freedom of scientific enquiry. Sometimes, government has its particular purpose to arrange the scientific research. They would guide national scientific research's direction. The official would consider the scientific research and development for the welfare of the whole country. Such as space program of China, it can accomplish national pride and obtain international influence in the world. Thus government would develop it more vigorously than others. With rapid modernization proceeding, however, government has great economic strength to put more energy and fund into more scientific research. While some industrial programs can develop independently, as for which the government need not invest too much, even only offer starting fund in some cases.

In sum, government does have a huge and irreplaceable positive power for the scientific research and development. Although in a way, it will restrict the freedom of scientific research because of dependency of the research to government, yet the government has to set priorities based on importance and urgency of scientific research. Nevertheless, with development of society, the official would be much more powerful to fulfill sufficient scientific research and development, in that case, restriction is far fewer than assistant so that we can ignore it.

柏拉图的世界UID: 2581296

题目：ISSUE69 - "Government should place few, if any, restrictions on scientific research and development"
字数：463
日期：2010-7-16 1:57:31

Government plays a significant role in scientific research and development which needs the officials funding. Therefore, it is unavoidable that scientists need to rely on government assistance, in turn, to some extent government refrain the freedom of scientific research. However, government can play a positive role in scientific research and development mainly.好像缺一点逻辑推导的关系，而且有点重复

Currently, without government funding, scientists would find it difficult to carry out large-scale projects. Such as Human Genome Project which belongs to world-level projects, it cannot produce normally without government financial support energetically. Depending government publicizing and set up sufficient manpower and materials, scientists can plunge themselves into the process of this huge project. As well as Manhattan Project which cost a huge sum of money to manufacture the first atomic bombs of human, it start from military purpose and also make a sense of spanning age. The judgment that such a program cannot accomplish or even start is not to be doubted.最后这句话怪怪的，有点Chinglish，直接说Without …, … wouldn’t have been accomplished.的虚拟语气会比较好。

Furthermore, government can also organize scientists to solve problems prioritized based on urgency or importance. When the country meets some difficult problem or urgent situation, government would assign timely core scientists to study and analysis the concrete data to solve the problems concerned society and people. As an example, in 2003, SARS similar to a great plague had been indulging in willful persecution of human life all over the world. Just because of government powerful controlling, scientists researched and developed effective treatment method to save hundreds and thousands of people's lives. Thus, government's positive action cannot be substituted by some individual or organization.如果想说政府不能被个人或组织取代，最好能有一些比较来说明。

However, to some extent, government has interfering with the freedom of scientific enquiry. Sometimes, government has its particular purpose to arrange the scientific research. They would guide national scientific research's direction. The official would consider the scientific research and development for the welfare of the whole country. Such as space program of China, it can accomplish national pride and obtain international influence in the world. Thus government would develop it more vigorously than others. With rapid modernization proceeding, however, government has great economic strength to put more energy and fund into more scientific research. While some industrial programs can develop independently, as for which the government need not invest too much, even only offer starting fund in some cases.最后这句话有点点走神，最好点明你提出这样的比较对于这个主题，或这段的分主题有什么作用。而且这句话我不确定句义上是正确的。

In sum, government does have a huge and irreplaceable positive power for the scientific research and development. Although in a way, it will restrict the freedom of scientific research because of dependency of the research to government, yet the government has to set priorities based on importance and urgency of scientific research. Nevertheless, with development of society, the official would be much more powerful to fulfill sufficient scientific research and development, in that case, restriction is far fewer than assistant assistance so that we can ignore it.

To conclude,
说实话，读得不是太懂。表达上面不怎么好理解，建议写的时候想想怎么能让读者读得懂，这是基础。有些用语说的过去，但语感上总是怪怪的。
另外，观点展开不够，显得零散、重复。可能你的思路还没有打开。
再有就是几个分论点缺乏把它们统一在一起的魂。只是列举正反面恐怕是很难展现自己的逻辑思维能力。或许你可以提出这样一个中心思想：科学是在追求真理，是应该保持独立性，但它又是社会因素之一，与社会事务息息相关的，所以应该受到社会事务管理者—政府—的资助和由此产生的引导。