我的作文贴！大家共进步！

小飞瞎UID: 2865496

8.24
（09.01.23 NA） Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people should try several different jobs before they take a long term career


     As growing up, adults have to face the question about which kind of the work people would choose.Some people insist the dream that they have in the childhood.Meanwhile some people feel confused about this problem.It is impossible for everyone to make sure about the future.So it is not rare to see many people try several different jobs before they take a long term career. From my perspective, this is a better way to find a indeniable career.
    First of all, people who completely start a long term career which requires them to accumulate abundant knowledge and tactful social skills will recieve amounts of experience.Here they will be able to develop their skills to solve different questions in different circumstances.Take the concern that actors have to know the life of the role.As different rolies they prepare to proform in their acting career is generally increasing,actors have to experience different lives and express different emotion of the roles.There is no doubts that the experience of the individual must be placed in the foremost place.In this way,different experience from different jobs help people to become a perfect actor.
    Of equal important is youny people who try different jobs also have the opportunity to find out what their interests really are as they will be exposed to a variety  of works.Therefore,this attempt is ideal for people who have a lots of interests or dont know what their interests are.Once people decide work they are interested in, they have enough time and effort to prepare the skills and experiences the job needs before their long term career. For example, people who have amounts of patience will take nursery classes to become a teacher in primary school.
    On the other hand, there are some disadvantages to try different jobs.It takes much time of their young ages .As a result, people start their career too late to have no sufficient effort on the work.They have to share their time with family, intructing children and keeping relationship with frinds.At the same time, different jobs may consume the enthusiasm about the job,the power to progress and the willingness to learn more knowledge.
From what we have been discussed above,it can be directly concluded that young people should  try different jobs before a long term career.In this way, people can acquire more experience and opportunity to learn more skiils or decide the final career even though trying much jobs may consume people's passation .

superchaosUID: 2863434

As growing up, adults have to face the question about which kind of the work they would choose.Some insist the dream that they have in the childhood, whereas others feel confused about this problem.It is impossible for everyone to predict about the future.So it is not rare to see many people try several different jobs before they take a long term career. From my perspective, this is a better way to find an indeniable career.

First of all, people who completely start a long term career which requires them to accumulate abundant knowledge and tactful social skills will recieve amounts of experience.(What is your point???跑了?)Here they will be able to develop their skills to solve different questions under different circumstances.Take the concern that actors have to know the life of the role.As different roles they prepare to proform in their acting career are generally increasing,actors have to experience different lives and express different emotions of the roles.There is no doubts that the experience of the individual must be placed in the foremost place.In this way,different experience from different jobs helps people to become a perfect actor.* T$ K0 V/ m: k8 t

Of equal important is young people who try different jobs also have the opportunity to find out what their interests really are as they will be exposed to a variety  of works.Therefore,this attempt is ideal for people who have a lot of interests or who are uncertain about their interests.Once people decide work they are interested in, they have enough time and effort to prepare the skills and experiences that the job needs before their long term career. For example, people who have amounts of patience will take nursery classes to become a teacher in primary school.- m3 f4 [, d, T% z0 G
  
On the other hand, there are some disadvantages to try different jobs.It costs much time of their young ages .As a result, people start their career too late to guarantee/devote sufficient efforts to the work.They have to share their time with family, intructing children and keeping relationship with frinds.At the same time, different jobs may consume the enthusiasm about the job,as well as the power to progress and the willingness to learn more knowledge.

From what we have been discussed above,it can be directly concluded that young people should  try different jobs before a long term career.By doiing this, people can acquire more experience and opportunity to learn more skiils or to decide the final career even though trying several jobs may deplete people's passion.

思路挺清晰的,句子也挺顺畅,希望注意以下几点:
1.句式可以丰富一下,词汇可以用些较"advanced"的词汇...
2.个人感觉论据很不充分,即写的不让人信服啊,你如第二段的actor第三段的nursery classes的例子,跟当段的论点照应么?升华一下啊,比如你说多种工作经验能让人找到自己的兴趣,可是你却说有patience的人会去参加nursery classes?我觉得不好....其他例子也是这样,争取能照应的更好
3.本人水平有限,如果有说的 不对的地方恳请指正哈~~共同进步~~:D

Colin_hUID: 2855722

改好啦，请查收

小飞瞎UID: 2865496

3# Colin_h


谢谢啦@！可能迟一些给你修改哈，先道个谦@！明后天成吧？我在北美时差有问题哦...

小飞瞎UID: 2865496

As growing up, adults have to face the question about which kind of the work people would choose .Some insist the dream that they have in the childhood. Whereas others feel confused about this problem .It is impossible for everyone to predict about the future .So it is not rare to see many people try several different jobs before they take a long term career. From my perspective, this is a indispensable way to help find a career.   
First of all, young people who try different jobs have opportunities to find out what their interests really are as they will be exposed to a variety of works. Therefore, this attempt is ideal for people who have a lot of interest o who are uncertain about what their interests are. Once people decide the work they are interested in, they have sufficient time and effort to prepare the skills and experiences the job needs before their long term career. For example, my elder sister whose major is accounting finally become a cook after doing part-time job in the restaurant to support herself .


Of equal important is that people who completely start a long term career which requires them to accumulate abundant knowledge and tactful social skills will receive amounts of experience .Here they will be able to develop their skills to solve different questions under different circumstances. Take the concern that actors have to know the life of the role. As different roles they prepare to perform in their acting career is generally increasing, actors have to experience different lives and express different emotion of the roles. There are
no doubts that the experience of the individual must be placed in the foremost place .In this way, different experience from different jobs help people to become a perfect actor.

    On the other hand, there are some disadvantages to try different jobs. It takes much time of their young ages .As a result, people start their career too late to have no sufficient effort on the work. They have to share their time with family, instructing children and keeping relationship with friends .At the same time, different jobs may consume the enthusiasm about the job, the power to progress and the willingness to learn more knowledge.
From what we have been discussed about , it can be directly concluded that young people should  try different jobs before a long term career. In this way, people can acquire more experience and opportunity to learn more skills or decide the final career even though trying much jobs may consume people's passion

小飞瞎UID: 2865496

826
(09.02.21 NA) Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Newspapers and magazines are the best ways to learn about a foreign country？


As the development of the technology, the world is getting more and more smaller. Some stand on the ground that newspapers and magazines are the best ways to learn about a foreign country , whereas people who oppose it say that the internet is accurately the best way to acknowledge everything quickly and wildly in the modern period. In my opinion, I agree the latter one from these reasons below
The biggest disadvantage is that the content of newspapers and magazines you see probably happened in the last month .As we know, the newspapers and magazines are traditional genres to report issue by printing on the paper ,which almost needs amounts of time and a group of people to do .In other words, these traditional reporting methods merely satisfy the needs of local people who live near the happened place. For people  living in the other side of the earth, acknowledging  news of the newspapers or magazines in time cannot be seemly realized even in the modern world. Taking a further step, more impossibility is that we can acquire any process of the issue or the change of lasting events abroad by reading the newspaper or magazines. For example, when USA involved the war with Ireq, the news about war solution were changing every second . Only TV that kept touch with the journalists standing near the war could transmit and report the newer news and more details to the audience.
Another inevitable problem is that the knowledge newspapers and magazines supply is limited. At the same time, the limited content may be not the one you want to learn about. The viewpoints from the newspapers and magazines represent only the understanding of the publishers whose thinking comes from their limited sights that cannot conclude all the tangible facts. It is not rare to see that many people consider the newspaper to distort the facts that they experience or witness. This phenomenon happens in the law court every day. For the limited  employers ,news, and equipments, the contents are naturally limited.
Aside from the newspapers and magazines, there are other better ways to learn about the foreign. Almost no one can deny the fact that the internet broaden our horizons by an unimaginative way. You can only use the mouse to search anything about foreign country on the internet. After several seconds,  couples of news come into your eyes. But under this circumstance, you have to find which you really need among thousands of news.
From all the reasons discussed above, it can be directly concluded that the newspapers and magazines are not the best ways to learn about the foreign country .In this way, there are too many limited to acquire immediate news conveniently. We can use internet to search the news we want at any time instead.

Colin_hUID: 2855722

6# 小飞瞎
又是你啊，缘分啊

小飞瞎UID: 2865496

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students should not take part-time jobs while they are studying in universities.



Having been growing as adults, the students of the universities are gradually responsible for themselves, from  completely dependent on parents to living outsides . Amongst different aspects of living , students are supposed to try to do anything by themslves, including washing, cooking, making decisions.One of the indenpentments college students owe is the attempt to make money to reduce parents' finacial burdens.Therefore, students should take some capatable part-time jobs while they are studying in universities.

小飞瞎UID: 2865496

9月4   交

09.08.01NA  Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? If you do not make sure other people (especially influential people or your employers) know about your strengths and accomplishments, you will never get successful in life5 r; G' P. k; M8 Z& M0 y* x8 m





Admittedly,
exposing your strengths and accomplishments to other people play a crucial role in your success. To attract people, nothing can do work better than exhibiting your abilities. Therefore, a group of people maintain that if you not make sure other people know about your strengths and accomplishments, you will never get successful in life. However, because there are many indispensible factors contributed to success, you have to balance in them. From my prospective, I disagree the opinion in the following reasons.
To begin with, it is universally acknowledged that success is a complex issue that not everyone can easily take access to. There are many aspects that people who want to succeed should focus on such as diligence, intelligence, and communication with others. Actually we cannot emphasize the importance of getting help from others too much. As a matter of fact, making sure others know about your strengths and accomplishments is one of ample methods to attract others to help you. Although others are willing to give their hands, it does means you are bound to be successful .A undergradate student who completely exhibits his strengths and accomplishments
gets a recommendation from Bill Gates when applying for gradate school. Unfortunely, he got Cs in the lecture classes that he didn't like. As a result, he doesn’t receive the offer from his dream school. In this condition, that influential
people know your capability well does not enable you to reach the peak. The key to success is that you have everything fundamental to create marvelous consequences.
The second reason why I disagree is that sometimes success depends on the circumstances more than your abilities. As we know, the abilities are fundamental factor to be successful. But sometimes you also need
opportunities. In other words, opportunities place more portion than capacities under some circumstances. For example, in the financial crisis ,many elite couldn't find good jobs in United States .Employers couldn't ignore their strengths and accomplishments ,I believe, but the bad solution didn't allow to employ the splendid.
As a proverb goes" Every coins have different sides", making sure others know about your strengths and accomplishments knocks the door to the success. Performing your strengths and avoiding your weakness conveys yourselves along the way of the success. But the prerequisites of the success is that everyone knows you are good at that issue. One always need someone to give you the opportunities to express yourselves and the field you work on. That is why HR points out the importance of the communication ability that profoundly impress others.
In summary, from what has been discussed we draw conclusion that making sure other people know about your strengths and accomplishments is not
only factor to be successful, not only because abilities are more significant than recommendation from others, but also opportunities sometimes change our lives.

ilovelssUID: 2809027

你也要记得改我的作文哦～～～:loveliness:

小飞瞎UID: 2865496

9月4   交( q$ @4 `' N' @& G" ?$ H
09.08.01NA  Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? If you do not make sure other people (especially influential people or your employers) know about your strengths and accomplishments, you will never get successful in life5 r; G' P. k; M8 Z& M0 y* x8 m
2 \3 l. }0 G* ?: q  ?5 ]7 K' |
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3 a/ s! N0 d3 S2 b% d/ q7 R
Admittedly,
exposing your strengths and accomplishments to other people plays a crucial role in your success. To attract people, nothing can do work=be better than exhibiting your abilities. Therefore, a group of people maintain that if you (do) not make sure other people know about your strengths and accomplishments, you will never get successful in life. However, because there are many indispensible factors contributed to success, you have to balance in=between them. From my prospective, I disagree the opinion （看到这里，你到底是什么立场呢？能更直接点吗？）in the following reasons.
To begin with, it is universally acknowledged that success is a complex issue that not everyone can easily take=be access to. There are many aspects that people who want to succeed (they) should focus on such as=something like diligence, intelligence, and communication with others. Actually we cannot emphasize the importance of getting help from others too much. As a matter of fact, making sure others know about your strengths and accomplishments is one of ample methods to attract others to help you. Although others are willing to give their hands, it does means=mean you are bound to be successful .A undergradate student who completely exhibits his strengths and accomplishments9 n: v$ q6 |: F* n+ }! s1 `gets a recommendation from Bill Gates when applying for gradate school. Unfortunely, he got Cs in the lecture classes that he didn't like. As a result, he doesn’t receive the offer from his dreamed school. In this condition, that influential
people(influential这么用有点奇怪) know your capability well does not enable you to reach the peak. The key to success is that you have everything fundamental to create marvelous consequences（有堆砌辞藻之嫌）.
The second reason why I disagree is that sometimes success depends on the circumstances more than your abilities. As we know, the abilities are fundamental factors to be successful. But sometimes you also need% P* U) ?2 X7 i3 Sopportunities. In other words, opportunities place=possess more portion than capacities under some circumstances（用词有点重复，换evironment）. For example, in the financial crisis ,many elites couldn't find good jobs in United States. Employers couldn't ignore their strengths and accomplishments ,I believe, but the bad solution =bad condition didn't allow to employ the splendid （splendid what? 这是个形容词，若要形容人的话有点太过大了，还是换个qualified workers的比较好）.7 o1 m. D. O& d/ q
As a proverb goes" Every coins have =coin has different=two sides", making sure others know about your strengths and accomplishments knocks the door to the success. Performing your strengths and avoiding your weakness conveys =direct yourselves along =in the way of the （去掉）success. But the prerequisites of the success is =are that everyone knows you are good at that =certain issue. One always needs someone to give you the opportunities to express yourselves and the field you work on in. That is why HR points out the importance of the communication ability that profoundly impress on others.1 R; s1 {0 i* ~' x! h5 H; u5 P, n
In summary summaries, from what has been discussed we draw a conclusion that making sure other people know about your strengths and accomplishments is not& D* n) ]- w7 aonly factor to be successful, not only because abilities are more significant than recommendation from others, but also opportunities sometimes change our lives.(这个结尾，我不得不抱歉的说，你走题了，你说的个人成功不是仅有的原因，这个不是题目的初衷意思，而且你又加上了还有机会的影响，这个其实是和你反对的观点是互相矛盾的。你要反对他，必须是非充要条件，但是你最后的论证结果却是必要不充分条件)



总之楼主在行文方面一些例子是非常值得借鉴的，比如硬币有两面，比尔盖茨事例等，但是在个别用词遣句上有时候会显得故意要用高级词汇而用高级词汇，然而在其他地方词汇的搭配又略显单薄，会使文章看起来像小孩穿妈妈的衣服一样。恕我直言，愿与之共勉。

小飞瞎UID: 2865496

9月9日交$ V( g) ^9 i/ i  n6 r
2009.9.11NA  agree or disagree it is only worth watching movies that can teach us something about real life9 k; ^+ C1 A5 ^% Y4 g2 w

yishanchengUID: 2894733

9月9日交$ V( g) ^9 i/ i  n6 r
" @  ?+ _/ {- T1 i2009.9.11NA  agree or disagree it is only worth watching movies that can teach us something about real life9 k; ^+ C1 A5 ^% Y4 g2 w
- w; i1 ~5 d  Q% A- @ ( q8 p1 v  |" y" V, V/ H$ v6 B)}7 ^) r+ p: Y& i% mThe impact that movies have been on our daily life, 逗号可以不要 and society in general is undeniable. No doubt it will become even greater as 3 }' S( h$ o6 S+ Mthe scope of which continues to grow, and so fascinating that virtually nobody will be able to escape 句式很好！good！; 4 p3 v' B. Already it. O) m3 E) I8 sis seen that movies are exercising9 v6 W! influence all around the world. It is unlikely* H: _( P, I& to 5 Y  W' G/ F' }4 b; odecrease. D% M% ~8 l* X8 Apeople4 F8 v1 D/ i& _7 z" w+ |/ a" q‘s4 J4 h6 g7 e0 B( _6 Genthusiasm9 h5 c9 `) f$ Z. s# q because movies play a " T2 E" u6 z9 u+ f+ D0 P  imore and more important role in people ‘s , \/ b/ @5 `7 V1 z8 D. V4 kreal lives. 1 c& L: {3 m5 |) t1 _3 k9 oTherefore, from my perspective, I disagree the: ?" R& \# j( s. C1 q!assertion that# m5 E( J2 J/ g6 w2 Qit is only worth watching movies that ) U, X/ T/ w2 X0 p) H" }: d, Pcan teach ( o* R7 S! b1 d( |1 A" H2 Fus something about real life,9 T3 M% n+ a)观点观点淡淡的 a w- kssd
as the following* ^: u+ P) h1 e% g7 K" l2 Sreasons. / r  H4 r* C6 a" _+ KThe / X6 S2 _/ a: }4 xreasons that people want to watch movies vary , for 7 V  I- s5 z) |3 i8 ]different people have different 7 F) E7 _) X+ P4 M# u- n" ltastes and 0 Y- H2 z7 D8 N' z' W% Q( jdesires. The movies offer people# V: b% r% f  T& p5 p# onumerous5 E- w/ t* c+ N" S% e: Zissues to talk and think about in 7 k  M0 A; q* Y" k! Gdifferent fields, including * Y8 p: A+ c( ]; |history, geology, anthropology and so forth.2 _# |& Y! b7 d
Watching the movie that only can teach us something about real! @* M& B" ]2 O
life narrows the horizon of the people to some degree. Although
6 \$ z% N  j5 a. c( ^+ Cmovies that teach people something about real life provide some useful experiences of   ?6 k+ T5 U1 j/ H
the real world, such 2 n' U' S4 \3 qas  W, j2 @0 A/ F' r+ l: v9 R6 o' e! k. \handling complex relationships ,
: g) z1 W9 m1 Z3 y; ~8 `performing to be calm in the emergency, inspiring ourselves to work hard, other movies not only do the same effects but also offer much knowledge . For example, some movies just describe lives of animals living . a0 m! }/ X! A! E! U
in the African prairie or in the deep8 V0 b# c' J& e7 r
sea
# l+ J0 _1 u; d1 s- s% t8 twhere we are never able to be .Watching these movies enable us to know more 6 z) Q; \1 {. z4 n; `
species that lives with us in the same planet. Moreover, something fictional sometimes attracts much more attention of people who is so imaginative that can compile stories. Twilight, the most popular movies of the world, is just this one that tell a story about vampires . People addicts the extolling love between human beings and vampires.6 R' N1 @. Q# ~1 d
Under some circumstances, people watch movies just for fun. They necessarily endure pressure from the real life and temporarily want to avoid into movies .That is why adults place a large part of audiences of the canton movies. Sometimes when going out of the theater, people even forget what they just watched after laughing. These movies are the ones to make people stop , and those movies that teach people something are the ones to make people process. Either of them can’t be lost in the real life.
6 {8 I$ @+ B; d: w* G! ]; P8 }In summary, movies are the significant part of our daily life not only to teach us experiences and knowledge, but also enrich our leisure life. Any movie that you consider to bring something you like is a worth one .

建议：1 可在增添一些具体的例子

2 有些词重复用，可试一试换新词

3 再重温一下语法知识
总之，作文还好，继续加油！

cqx83UID: 2671579

总的来说不错，不过有少量语法错误