argument190:寄托4人组11日作业

哥哥家有二师兄UID: 2124390

190
The following is a letter to the editor of the Glenville Gazette, a local newspaper.

"Over the past few years, the number of people who have purchased advance tickets for the Glenville Summer Concert series has declined, indicating lack of community support. Although the weather has been unpredictable in the past few years, this cannot be the reason for the decline in advance ticket purchases, because many people attended the concerts even in bad weather. Clearly, then, the reason for the decline is the choice of music, so the organizers of the concert should feature more modern music in the future and should be sure to include music composed by Richerts, whose recordings Glenville residents purchase more often than any other contemporary recordings. This strategy will undoubtedly increase advance ticket purchases and will increase attendance at the concerts."
提纲：
1．        无证据证明社区没有为音乐会尽力（资金，义务工作等）
2．        把天气这个因素排除在原因之外过于武断
3．        音乐的选择怎样影响票的销售，不同音乐的销售情况是怎样的，为什么现代音乐应该占更大份额，为什么选理查德的原因没有阐述。
In this argument, the arguer analyzes the causes of the decline of  advance tickets for the Glenville Summer Concert series and offers his suggestions on increasing advance ticket purchases and attendance at the concerts. However, this argument is fraught with vague, oversimplified and unwarranted assumptions and conclusions.

First of all, the arguer fails to convince us the concert series really lacks of community support. There is no evidence to prove that the local community does not care much about the series. To demonstrate this, the author must cite figures or examples in the previous years to show the community has not offered enough support with the funds, the human resources and has not provided necessary volunteer work to ensure the proper function of the concert series.

Secondly, the arguer too hastily concludes that weather cannot be the reason for the decline in advance ticket purchase. The cited evidence is that many people have attended the concert even in bad weathers. But “many” is too vague to know the exact percentage of the people who still prefer to come to the concert in bad weathers. It is ironic the author mentions that the weather has been unpredictable in the past few years. It is quite possible the location where the concerts are played are far from the downtown and people do not want to drive too far in bad weathers and prefer to stay at home to listen to the recordings.

Thirdly, the arguer unfoundedly assumes that the reason for the decline in advance ticket purchases is the choice of music. No evidence in the past has been shown to prove that the attendance and the sale of the tickets differs when different kinds of music are played in the series. Even if it is because of the choice of music which leads to the failure of the concert, it still would be too hasty to claim the organizers should feature on modern music and include the music composed by Richerts, whose recordings have been better sold than other contemporary recordings. If there is some surveys to show how popular the popular music and that of Richerts’ is, we would find more ready to accept the arguer’s suggestion. Better sale of Richerts’ recording simply could not prove people would love to go to attend his concert because possibly his style is so gentle or violent that people would rather listen at home.

As it stands, the argument is not well-reasoned. To make it more logically acceptable, the arguer would have to illustrate with detailed surveys and data to prove the factors of community support and the choice of music have contributed to the decline of the advance tickets. Additionally, evidence also needs to be provided to rule out the possibility that the weather has influenced the sales of the ticket and attendance.

[ Last edited by 哥哥家有二师兄 on 2005-8-11 at 17:13 ]

bridgewalkerUID: 208595

argument190:寄托4人组11日作业

190
The following is a letter to the editor of the Glenville Gazette, a local newspaper.

"Over the past few years, the number of people who have purchased advance tickets for the Glenville Summer Concert series has declined, indicating lack of community support. Although the weather has been unpredictable in the past few years, this cannot be the reason for the decline in advance ticket purchases, because many people attended the concerts even in bad weather. Clearly, then, the reason for the decline is the choice of music, so the organizers of the concert should feature more modern music in the future and should be sure to include music composed by Richerts, whose recordings Glenville residents purchase more often than any other contemporary recordings. This strategy will undoubtedly increase advance ticket purchases and will increase attendance at the concerts."
提纲：
1．        无证据证明社区没有为音乐会尽力（资金，义务工作等）
2．        把天气这个因素排除在原因之外过于武断
3．        音乐的选择怎样影响票的销售，不同音乐的销售情况是怎样的，为什么现代音乐应该占更大份额，为什么选理查德的原因没有阐述。

In this argument, the arguer analyzes the causes of the decline of  advance tickets for the Glenville Summer Concert series and offers his suggestions on increasing advance ticket purchases and attendance at the concerts.(两个and连起来有点体力不支，调整一下。) However, this argument is fraught with vague, oversimplified and unwarranted assumptions and conclusions.

First of all, the arguer fails to convince us the concert series really lacks of community support. There is no evidence to prove that the local community does not care much about the series. To demonstrate this, the author must cite figures or examples in the previous years to show the community has not offered enough support with the funds, the human resources and has not provided necessary volunteer work to ensure the proper function of the concert series.

Secondly, the arguer too hastily concludes that weather cannot be the reason for the decline in advance ticket purchase. The cited evidence is that many people have attended the concert even in bad weathers. But “many” is too vague to know the exact percentage of the people who still prefer to come to the concert in bad weathers. (到位！赞！) 这后面再来个if反证一下就更赞啦！It is ironic the author mentions that the weather has been unpredictable in the past few years. It is quite possible the location where the concerts are played are far from the downtown and people do not want to drive too far（这段你要证明的是天气有影响，但这句理解起来像它因，即使后面跟了in bad weathers.） in bad weathers and prefer to stay at home to listen to the recordings.这里的quite possible是不是该说：正是天气的unpredictable，人们才不买advance的票？

Thirdly, the arguer unfoundedly assumes that the reason for the decline in advance ticket purchases is the choice of music. No evidence in the past has been shown to prove that the attendance and the sale of the tickets differs when different kinds of music are played in the series. 这里应该加它因，如票价、竞争等。Even if it is because of the choice of music which leads to the failure of the concert, it still would be too hasty to claim the organizers should feature on modern music and include the music composed by Richerts (这两个驳斥点就这样合并了，有点可惜！), whose recordings have been better sold than other contemporary recordings. If there is some surveys to show how popular the popular music and that of Richerts’ is, we would find more ready to accept the arguer’s suggestion. Better sale of Richerts’ recording simply could not prove people would love to go to attend his concert because possibly his style is so gentle or violent that people would rather listen at home.

As it stands, the argument is not well-reasoned. To make it more logically acceptable, the arguer would have to illustrate with detailed surveys and data to prove the factors of community support and the choice of music have contributed to the decline of the advance tickets. Additionally, evidence also needs to be provided to rule out the possibility that the weather has influenced the sales of the ticket and attendance.

逻辑错误：
你的第1点 + （Decline可能不是choice of music造成的。→即使是，也不定是缺现代音乐。→即使是，也不一定是Richerts的。→即使是，也不一定会买票。→即使会，也不一定attend）
最后一点你忘了，不过没有关系。
语言转换很棒哦！学习中。。。

[ Last edited by bridgewalker on 2005-8-11 at 21:46 ]

yogurt4UID: 198389

题目里面没有说GSC是公益活动啊,为什么人们要提供funds or human resource给它?

现场买票去听GSC的人搞不好很多的说:lol

bridgewalkerUID: 208595

没有说GSC是公益活动啊,为什么人们要提供funds or human resource给它?

funds好像不一定有，但volunteer好像有。

现场买票去听GSC的人搞不好很多的说

这个题目至始至终都是在谈advance tickets的问题，不涉及总体利润问题。现场买票好像不在讨论范围之内。