Issue177 第一次拿到Gter，大家很拍

domothyUID: 2224019

Issue177: 557words (又超时了)
The study of an academic discipline alters the way we perceive the world. After studying the discipline, we see the same world as before, but with different eyes.

Children, who thought the material which gets burnt is vanished forever, after learning chemistry, realize the material does not just vanish---it changes into other kind of compound as the result of chemical reaction. Children, who believed the stars go to sleep somewhere when the day comes, know the stars are always there in the sky no matter we can see them or not, after getting the knowledge of astronomy. Though the world is the same old world, instilling of academic knowledge gives us a whole new eye to look at it. Moreover it changes our way of thinking and our way of dealing with problems.

  Different disciplines offer different range of knowledge. And people pay more attention to the phenomena they are familiar with. Considering a group of people with various vocations going to visit their friend's new house, I bet different people will give out advice in different aspects. For example, the real-estate agent tells the houseowner whether he/she can expect an increase value of the house; while the architect gives out advice on how to decorate the house making it more beautiful and comfortable. Even to the same question, people in different field will give out different explanations according to their own knowledge.

Every individual has a way to approach questions, to analyze and to conclude. Different disciplines form different way of thinking which influence the individual's attitude greatly. As a student of chemistry department, I find that my way of solving problems is dissimilar with the one my friend uses, who is majored in physics. In the process of study, he was taught lots of models to apply to diverse situation, and no matter how complicated the problem is , it can be decomposed to several models which interact with each other; while I learned the structure is the determinant factor of the character, solving problems starts with the understanding of its structure. As a result, he always trys to derive models out of questions, and I like to dig for the internal structure.

There is a joke which illustrates my view in a more vivid way. The joke goes like this(as I paraphrase):" A artist and a mathematician were seated in the same compartment of a train traveling across the land of Australia. Outside the window was green grassland which extends to the horizon. Suddenly the artist caught sight of a white-black cow grazing on the land,  the artist cried out exhilarantly: What a beautiful country Australia is! There are wonderful greenfields full of beautiful white-black cows! The mathematician glanced out of the window, then said: No, you should say in Australia, there at least has a grassland with a cow which at least has a white-black side." It has exaggerated the different way of thinking between people in different discipline, but we cannot deny the differences exist. The mathematician is sensitive to accuracy, while the artist is easily excited by beautiful things and tend to express their feeling in a enthusiastic way.

In conclusion, I highly agree with the assertion that our way to perceive the world will be altered by the study of academic discipline. Our values and attitudes toward the world are determined by the structure of our knowledge and experience. By learning different disciplines, we obtain different knowledge and experience, which form our different understanding of the world.

我自己觉得开头的论断虽然读起来不错，但有跟后面脱节的感觉。所以我又在后面加了“更深入”的论断，可是还是怎么读怎么不爽。我总觉得自己会写着写着写跑题，开头也是我的一个大问题。希望听听大家的意见。
还有就是时间，我现在没有一篇文章能在时限以内完成，痛苦啊～各位有没有什么好方法？

helenlhhUID: 2127690

好象确实扣题不准
这篇我没什么感觉，给你找了一篇，是我们一组的，你们互拍一下吧。
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... e%3D1#pid1768861045

[ 本帖最后由 helenlhh 于 2006-7-24 09:48 编辑 ]

CharaznablezUID: 2140987

不好意思.之前没看见,明天给你改.谢谢你对我文章的指正.我就是觉得自己说的不如人家那么好所以老是有这种偷懒侥幸的心理.一定改正.谢谢

CharaznablezUID: 2140987

Issue177: 557words (又超时了)
The study of an academic discipline alters the way we perceive the world. After studying the discipline, we see the same world as before, but with different eyes.

Children, who thought the material which gets burnt is vanished forever, after learning chemistry, realize the material does not just vanish---it changes into other kind（kinds） of compound as the result of chemical reaction. Children, who believed the stars go to sleep somewhere when the day comes, know the stars are always there in the sky no matter we can see them or not, after getting the knowledge of astronomy. Though the world is the same old world, instilling of academic knowledge gives us a whole new eye to look at it. Moreover it changes our way of thinking and our way of dealing with problems. (开头很不错啊! 很新颖!)

  Different disciplines offer different range of knowledge. And people pay more attention to the phenomena they are familiar with. Considering a group of people with various vocations going to visit their friend's new house, I bet different people will give out advice (advices) in different aspects. For example, the real-estate agent tells the houseowner whether he/she can expect an increase value of the house; while the architect gives out advice on how to decorate the house making(to make) it more beautiful and comfortable. Even to the same question,(Given to the same question) people in different field will give out different explanations according to their own knowledge.

(加个连词什么的吧,太突兀)Every individual has a way to approach questions, to analyze and to conclude. Different disciplines form different way of thinking which influence the individual's attitude greatly. As a student of chemistry department, I find that my way of solving problems is dissimilar with the one my friend uses, who is majored in(major in) physics. In the process of study, he was taught lots of models to apply to diverse situation, and no matter how complicated the problem is , it can be decomposed to several models which interact with each other;(把前面两句合成一句吧 he was taught that no matter how complicated the problem is , it can be decomposed to several simple models which interact with each other); while I learned the structure is the determinant factor of the character, solving problems starts with the understanding of its structure. As a result, he always trys to derive models out of questions, and I like to dig for the internal structure.

(还是应该写个主题句)There is a joke which illustrates my view in a more vivid way. The joke goes like this(as I paraphrase):" A artist and a mathematician were seated in the same compartment of a train traveling across the land of Australia. Outside the window was green grassland which extends to the horizon. Suddenly the artist caught sight of a white-black cow grazing on the land,  the artist cried out exhilarantly: What a beautiful country Australia is! There are wonderful greenfields full of beautiful white-black cows! The mathematician glanced out of the window, then said: No, you should say in Australia, there at least has a grassland with a cow which at least has a white-black side." It has exaggerated the different way of thinking between people in different discipline, but we cannot deny the differences exist. The mathematician is sensitive to accuracy, while the artist is easily excited by beautiful things and tend to express their feeling in a enthusiastic way.

In conclusion, I highly agree with the assertion that our way to perceive the world will be altered by the study of academic discipline. Our values and attitudes toward the world are determined by the structure of our knowledge and experience. By learning different disciplines, we obtain different knowledge and experience, which form our different understanding of the world.

从纯写作上说写的整体还不错.但是我觉得是严重跑题了.第一段跟study没关 结果二段也没说清楚只能说有些联系,第三段倒是很流畅但是其实跟第一段说的一回事.还是没说为什么在学完之后看世界就改变了.~ 而且以此说来论点也太少了,虽然把题目限在academia可能是个好想法.  对于你说的超时,我觉得你写的还是挺多了而且也不错(我一般生写只能写430左右所以我还是挺佩服你的) 所以你要不就精简点,做做模考吧. 说的有点恨了,不过这问题好改. 一起加油啊! 我是一组的 :)