ISSUE78【08-06G AW小组】第三次作业

liuchun1987UID: 2398171

78 "Schools should be required to teach the essential interconnectedness of all human beings and thus help eliminate wars, cultural clashes, and other forms of conflict."

I strongly agree that essential interconnectedness of all human beings is needed to be provided to eliminate wars,cultural clashes,especially in school. My agreement lies in the importance of essential interconnectedness for the world's peace and harmony in some aspects.
Considering the different culture , religion and extent of economic development among different conturies,essential interconnectedness play an indispensable part to our human beings.Essential interconnectedness serves as communication tools for people who hold different valuable systems and believes,just like a common language between people who speak different languages.Without this communication tools ,various people could misunderstand or not understand each during the interaction,and clashes and conflicts happen.Everyday,due to the war,too many people suffer a lot;due to the economic gaps,hundreds of Africa children died from illness.In order to avoid such calamity  ,humans should learn the essential interconnectedness.However,there are so many factors stopping the essential interconnectedness.
One holdback of the human's communication is the cultural conflict.During the long history of human beings,many cultures appeared  and developed,which  now have became a part of the people who hold them.In that case,different cultures give birth to large gaps ,and clashes and wars occur.For example,in the World War II,the Jew in Nazi Germany suffered appallingly because Hitler thought Jew planned to 'contaminate' the blood of pure Germans.So thousands upon thousands Jew lost their lives.This culture conflict lead to the calamity in our human beings while the sympathy and goodness in the essential interconnectedness of human beings is neglected.
Besides,another holdback of spreading the interconnectednss is some nature of human beings.Everyone is born with humans' nature which includes goodness and philanthropy which benefit the human beings' harmony as well as others that can do harm to other people,just like greedy.Since what people want is endless,money, resources and lands always drive people to fight with each other,resulting in wars.Take the Gulf Wars as an example,in order to own the oil and
lands of Kuwait,Saddam,the leader of Iraq,started the war in 1991.As a result,not only soldiers and residents lost their lives but also economy in both country declined a lot and people who do not participate in the wars also suffered a lot,due to the huge cost for the war.
In that case,while we can realize the significant importance of interconnectedness and the main reason of the holdback of it,spreading the essential interconnectedness seems crucial.Every social institution ,such as the mass media,should assume the responsibility of teaching it to all human beings.However, school should assume the main responsibility,because what the education faces is such students who do not gain any social experience and don't form a mature valuable system.It is a good time of students to easily accept the essential interconnectedness which can live long in their lives.Schools should be required to impart their students with respect to others' culture,  philanthropy and control of the harmful willing.We can see,if the essential interconnectedness commonly exsits,conflicts between countris,religions and races can be settled.
However,a supplement about conflicts between human beings should be added.Conflicts can be found everywhere in economy, industry,science and arts.Not all conflicts take a disadvantage side to human beings.In science,many conflicts mean various opinions and open mind which can make theories go further.And in art exists the conflicts between the creator and audiences.Let's consider about the famous painter Van Gogh,whoes paintings do not gain the acceptance of public until his suicide. Needless to say, it is the critics' contribution after nearly half a century to bring them back to life.When it come to such beneficial conflicts,schools should not prevent it or even encourage it.
To sum up,the essential interconnectedness is necessarily required in human beings' lives.In order to enable people accept it easily and quickly,schools should take main responsibility to teach it to settle conflicts.However,eliminating all forms of conflicts seems impossible and unnecessary.      

[ 本帖最后由 liuchun1987 于 2008-1-26 09:46 编辑 ]

Northeast-WindUID: 2408896

I strongly agree that essential interconnectedness of all human beings is needed to be provided to eliminate wars,cultural clashes,especially in school. My agreement lies in the importance of essential interconnectedness for the world's peace and harmony in some aspects.

Considering the different culture , religion and extent of economic development among different conturies,essential interconnectedness play an indispensable part to our human beings.Essential interconnectedness serves as communication tools for people who hold different valuable systems and believes,just like a common language between people who speak different languages.Without this communication tools ,various people could misunderstand or not understand each during the interaction,and clashes and conflicts happen.Everyday,due to the war,too many people suffer a lot;due to the economic gaps,hundreds of Africa children died from illness.In order to avoid such calamity  ,humans should learn the essential interconnectedness.However,there are so many factors stopping the essential interconnectedness.

One holdback of the human's communication is the cultural conflict.During the long history of human beings,many cultures appeared  and developed,which  now have became a part of the people who hold them.In that case,different cultures give birth to large gaps ,and clashes and wars occur.For example,in the World War II,the Jew in Nazi Germany suffered appallingly because Hitler thought Jew planned to 'contaminate' the blood of pure Germans.（我感觉希特勒这个例子好像不能够作为文化冲突的例子，即使有文化冲突的因素，说起来也很绕弯子，不过纳粹的确是没有意识到interconnectedness）So thousands upon thousands Jew lost their lives.This culture conflict lead to the calamity in our human beings while the sympathy and goodness in the essential interconnectedness of human beings is neglected.

Besides,another holdback of spreading the interconnectednss is some nature of human beings.(最好说明是人性中的阴暗面，不然作为主题句，会使人认为好和坏的人性都是holdback)Everyone is born with humans' nature which includes goodness and philanthropy which benefit the human beings' harmony as well as others that can do harm to other people,just like greedy.Since what people want is endless,money, resources and lands always drive people to fight with each other,resulting in wars.Take the Gulf Wars as an example,in order to own the oil and lands of Kuwait,Saddam,the leader of Iraq,started the war in 1991.As a result,not only soldiers and residents lost their lives but also economy in both country declined a lot and people who do not participate in the wars also suffered a lot,due to the huge cost for the war.

In that case,while we can realize the significant importance of interconnectedness and the main reason of the holdback of it,spreading the essential interconnectedness seems crucial.Every social institution ,such as the mass media,should assume the responsibility of teaching it to all human beings.However, school should assume the main responsibility,because what the education faces is such students who do not gain any social experience and don't form a mature valuable system.It is a good time of students to easily accept the essential interconnectedness which can live long in their lives.Schools should be required to impart their students with respect to others' culture,  philanthropy and control of the harmful willing.We can see,if the essential interconnectedness commonly exsits,conflicts between countris,religions and races can be settled.

However,a supplement about conflicts between human beings should be added.Conflicts can be found everywhere in economy, industry,science and arts.Not all conflicts take a disadvantage side to human beings.In science,many conflicts mean various opinions and open mind which can make theories go further.And in art exists the conflicts between the creator and audiences.Let's consider about the famous painter Van Gogh,whoes paintings do not gain the acceptance of public until his suicide. Needless to say, it is the critics' contribution after nearly half a century to bring them back to life.When it come to such beneficial conflicts,schools should not prevent it or even encourage it.

To sum up,the essential interconnectedness is necessarily required in human beings' lives.In order to enable people accept it easily and quickly,schools should take main responsibility to teach it to settle conflicts.However,eliminating all forms of conflicts seems impossible and unnecessary.  

在该文中，您对题目的观点持肯定态度，由此，您的论述主要围绕这样两点1）essential interconnectedness对于人类的和平与和谐在一些方面是重要的；2）essential interconnectedness应该主要由学校来传播和教育。从文中来看，结构的组织是清晰的，而且举出的例子也比较丰富且适当，同时又有补充的说明。有待商榷的是，我认为对于要核心论述的两点略显单薄，主要是因为您在阻碍因素的说明上笔墨比较多，感觉没有必要。虽然，您的意思可能是通过阻碍因素的说明引出传播教育-尤其是学校在这方面-的重要作用，但是在核心论述的中间5段中，有2段在说明阻碍因素，1段在补充论证例外的情况，那么核心的论述自然会感觉展开不够。
以上是个人看法，希望讨论交流，在我的qq或在我的链接帖子上留言都可以