【09年1月-4月】TOEFL作文互改小组-之【TWE作文】2月1号作业 by arlenezxy

arlenezxyUID: 2487145

发现OG 对综合写作还是有很大启发的，以前太忽视它了。欢迎大家拍
   
   In this article, the writer promote the idea that the emploees work four days a week
would benifit both of the employees and companies themselves.Howerver, the speaker hold an
opposite opinion, he illustrate three factors to dispute the four-day work employment.

    To begin with, the speak argued that a four-day workweek definitely need more employees
for the work rotation, which will force the employers to spend more money on adding new
trainning and medical care for new comers. What's more, extra space and computers will be
needed too. All of such extra expense will cut into the profit that brought by four-day
workweek, which is a contradictory conclusion to the reading passage who took the opinion that
hiring more staffs to ensure the same amount of work would not result additional costs.

     Secondly, the speaker thought that if there was no extra employees, the old ones will
be prone to overtime work. From the view of production, the employers would expect their
workers do the same amout work in four days that as much as which originally be done in
five days a week. So the lecturer claimed that four-day workweek will result unpleasant
work, which casted doubts on the reading passage's conclusion that the shorten workweek
would make employees feel more rested and alert.

     Another thing is that, the reading passage belived that shoren workweek would result
error-prone emproyees.Unlike the the writer,the speak of the lecture worried that more free
time for the employees would be harmful to the efficiency of production, because less work
time will risk the employees'work ability, which would be decreased after a long time of rest.

roinyouUID: 2447501

结构和要点基本比较明确，展开得也比较详细。
语法上面两点，一、时态，注意第三人称，你可以从第一句看起：writer promotes ，speak holds
二，最后一段第一句和二句有两个拼写错误 shorten 和 speaker 不过不会影响理解，所以应该不会应该分数。
建议能总结有些好的框架和句式，把对比部分表达的更为灵活些。
还有，字数很惊人啊，不知道改怎么批示，呵呵。
指的不对之处，请相互讨论学习！！希望能更大进步！

不会太久vivianUID: 2592395

In this article, the writer promote the idea that the emploees work four days a week % G  n/ B5 A2 x, J7 p5 C
would benifit both of the employees and companies (themselves 可以去掉).Howerver, the speaker hold an

opposite opinion, he illustrate three factors to dispute the four-day work employment.+ K0 v' B- Q# x7 H$ V2 z+ G3 t
- x3 S, P' z+ l* x% N2 C9 G* X
   


To begin with, the speaker argued that a four-day workweek definitely need more employees
for the work rotation, which will force the employers to spend more money on adding new

trainning and medical care for new comers. What's more, extra space and computers will be
needed too. All of such extra expense will cut into the profits that brought by four-day % n: s; Z. E- c9 B, }( X/ O2 z6 N9 H
workweek, which is a contradictory conclusion to the reading passage who took the opinion that
hiring more staffs to ensure the same amount of work would not result additional costs.5 r$ `/ N8 v(


~9 s, D
. p/ o  X. V, E9 O6 _

Secondly, the speaker thought that if there was no extra employees, the old ones will . I- E, T  {- R9 R& ^% R, n% J
be( prone?) to overtime work. From the view of production, the employers would expect their

workers do the same amout work in four days that as much as which originally be done in
five days a week. So the lecturer claimed that four-day workweek will result unpleasant ) M1 ?' O( v$ i: I# b9 A
work, which casted doubts(统一这两个时态) on the reading passage's conclusion that the shorten workweek
would make employees feel more rested and alert.
{) @- L5 {7 B5 G7 m" ?
     



Another thing is that, the reading passage belived that shoren workweek would result
error-prone emproyees.Unlike the the writer,the speak of the lecture worried that more free
time for the employees would be harmful to the efficiency of production, because less work
time will risk the employees'work ability, which would be decreased after a long time of rest.（漏了一个重点：工作4天的人比工作5天的人来说，更易被裁员并且提升的机会较小）


楼主打字速度很快的说， 语句还不够通顺，有点怪怪的，   不过用了很多托福词汇啊·单词背的好熟～～