〖TOEFL 4—6月-Dark_Tournament小组写作 arlenezxy 第三次作业 〗

arlenezxyUID: 2487145

严重超时了，元宵节中间有被打断，这种话题第一次写，太宏大了不好把握 请狠拍
should the government focus more on preserving nature environment and less on economic development?
    As well-known, a country can not develop fast without complete economic system, some people may prefer the government putting more emphasis on the economic development. However, few people realize that a country can not develop constantly without preserving nature environment. Considering the severe environment problem, I totally agree with the topic that the government should focus more on preserving nature environment.
  
    Firstly, we only have one earth in this world which is the home of humankind, and we have not yet found any other places can replace the earth to accommodate the living of human beings. If we still insist to only focus on the economic developing, leaving the earth fall into the ruin, the humankind will vanish too. In other word, humankind has no second choice other than taking the responsibility to protect the environment. As for government, who make the decision for most of the people, should have the insight of focusing more on preserving nature environment.
   
    Secondly, it's the time for us pay for our debts to the environment. In early development of our society, the humankind always wined economic developing by sacrificing the nature environment without consideration. But nowadays, some significant sign in economy alert the government reconsidering about their economy strategy, such as the shortage of rice and water, the fight conducted by oil, and the tight relationship between industry producing and raw material supplying.
   
    Finally, new opportunities for economic development always emerge in the area related tightly with the environment, such as, the new energy exploiting, less energy-consuming car industry, and so on. The phenomenon that induced by the need of market can be the most persuasive illustration to point out the importance for the government turning their strategy from the economic-oriented to the environmental-oriented, and focusing more on preserving nature environment.
   
     To sum up, there are something in the world always becoming less as we dig more, like the nature resource, but something really can becoming more developed as we exploit less on the nature environment, such as the economy. So it's better for the government focus more on preserving nature environment which benefit both environment and economy.

arlenezxyUID: 2487145

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arlenezxyUID: 2487145

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水龙娃娃UID: 2359238

As well-known, a country can not develop fast without complete（应该用completing） economic system, some people may prefer the government putting more emphasis on the economic development. However, few people realize that a country can not develop constantly without preserving nature environment(词句句型与第一句一样can not ….without….，可以换一种增加句子的多样性). Considering the severe environment problem, I totally agree with the topic that the government should focus more on preserving nature environment.

   Firstly, we only have one earth in this world which is the home of humankind, and we have not yet found any other places where(加上where) can replace the earth to accommodate the living of human beings（living of human beings我查了几本词典及网络，这个好像不太对，就写human beings and other creatures 就可以了吧）. If we still insist to only（to 和only换一下感觉顺一些） focus on the economic developing, leaving the earth fall into the ruin, the humankind will vanish too. In other word, humankind has no second choice other than taking the responsibility to protect the environment. As for （a 冠词漏掉）government, who make the decision for most of the people, should have the insight of focusing more on preserving nature environment.
   
   Secondly, it's the time for us (应该加to )pay for our debts to the environment. In early development of our society, the humankind always wined economic developing by sacrificing the nature environment without consideration. But nowadays, some significant sign(signs) in economy alert the government reconsidering about their economy strategy, such as the shortage of rice and water, the fight conducted by oil, and the tight relationship between industry producing and raw material supplying. (论据和论点感觉联系不是太紧，一开始说环境，为啥后来说经济的预警信号？难道是偶没理解。。。)

Finally, new opportunities for economic development always emerge in the area related tightly with the environment, such as, the new energy exploiting, less energy-consuming car industry, and so on. The phenomenon that induced by the need of market can be the most persuasive illustration to point out the importance for the government turning their strategy from the economic-oriented to the environmental-oriented, and focusing more on preserving nature environment.这段例子举的挺好～很新颖。。

  To sum up, there are something in the world always becoming less as we dig more, like the nature resource, but something really can becoming more developed as we exploit less on the nature environment, such as the economy. So it's better for the government focus more on preserving nature environment which benefit both environment and economy.
ps:绿色代表错误，蓝色代表建议。
提个小建议：我记得原来上新东方课的时候，写作老师说如果每段开头缩进了，就不用再段与段之间再空一行，要么缩进要么空行。不过这只是个不成文的规定，不遵守也不会影响成绩。。。。LZ加油～:loveliness:

天泽UID: 2340391

should the government focus more on preserving nature environment and less on economic development?
    As is well-known, a country can not develop fast without a complete (economic)economy经济系统而不是关于经济的系统 system. Some people may prefer the government putting more emphasis on the economic development. However, few people realize that a country can not develop constantly without preserving nature environment. Considering the severe environment problem, I totally agree with the topic that the government should focus more on preserving nature environment.
  
    Firstly, we only have one earth in this world which is the home of humankind, and we have not yet found any other places which can replace the earth to accommodate the living of human beings. If we still insist (to only focus)on focusing on the economic developing, leaving the earth fall into (the ruin)ruins, the humankind will vanish too. In other word, humankind has no second choice other than taking the responsibility to protect the environment. As for the government, who make the decision for most of the people, should have the insight of focusing more on preserving nature environment.
   
    Secondly, it's the time for us to pay for our debts to the environment. In early development of our society, the humankind always (wined)什么意思？ economic developing by sacrificing the nature environment without consideration. But nowadays, some significant signs in economy alert the government (reconsidering)to reconsider about their economy strategy, such as the shortage of (rice)food and water, the fight conducted by oil, and the tight relationship between industry producing and raw material supplying.
   
    Finally, new opportunities for economic development always emerge in the area related tightly with the environment, such as, the new energy exploiting, less energy-consuming car industry, and so on. The phenomenon that induced by the need of market can be the most persuasive illustration to point out the importance for the government turning their strategy from the economic-oriented to the environmental-oriented, and focusing more on preserving nature environment.: X$ {% ^% }" p& ]" ^% P; @% D
    ! Q& a* S7 y0 ~0 f$ @% [
     To sum up, there are something in the world always becoming less as we dig more, like the nature resource, but something really can (becoming)become more developed as we exploit less on the nature environment, such as the economy. So it's better for the government focus more on preserving nature environment which benefits both the environment and economy.

本篇文章观点明确，结构清晰，例证充分，感觉非常好~值得学习呵~+U