ISSUE143【DIES IN FLAMES 0910G长线突破组】TASK I BY joyce

joyceww88UID: 2599492

The impacts of critics on artists are manifold, which may discourage the development of art as well as be beneficial to it. As for artists, therefore, they should be some preservation of the suggestion from critics

On one hand, critics are necessary to exist. Critics, defined by modern society, are professionals or amateurs who regularly judge or interpret performances or works. And they often publish their observations in periodicals, based on which they can help expend artists' reputation and influence which also promote the development of art. Thus a booming art provide artists a broad terrace to develop their career and inspire their creativity.

Even though critics attack some artists instead of publicizing art work, they are sometimes regarded as a kind of incentive for artist. For instance, Han Van Meegeren, considered to be one of the most ingenious art forgers of 20th century, felt critics had destroyed his career when art critics decried his work as tired and derivative. Exactly the hitting on his work, he decided to prove his talent to critics. At last, his paintings were taken as genuine and exquisite by critics. Meegeren's huge success illustrates that criticism can be used as a moving force.

In addition, art , in general, is subjective, advance and some way to express senses or emotions of individual artists. So most of time it fail to be understood by the majority, which constitutes such a immense gulf between artists and the general public. The fact not only dilutes ordinary peoples' interests in art because of abstruse, but also inhibits it to grow just for the reason that being far away from public. Then critic is the right bridge to link them.

Critics know much more about art than common people that makes them realize artists' works, the aesthetic object in depth and the profound meaning behind the works. At the same time, being aware of public is critics' advantage compared to those artists who usually divorce from masses. They can, consequently, lead public to the way of art. Critics assist public in comprehending art and afford the feedback of public's ideas back to artists. As we most of people take cognize of that artistic creativity roots in life. It's no other than common people who consist of life and various aspects of life, which makes the connection between public and artists significant.

What's more, works from artists, excellent or poor, are saturated in modern society. We have merely time and energy to distinguish such masses of works. Our society may even find itself drowned out by them. Here criticism can be used as a sieve to filter that works ,undeserved to spend our time on, a tool to help classics to go about.

On the other hand, art is something individual as I mention above, even if critics are full of art's knowledge,they can't really experience any artists. Perhaps their comprehension are incorrect and the criticism misguide people. Moreover, many artists have advanced ideas transcend their contemporaries. Critics, let alone general public, can hardly acknowledge artists' deep thought. Unbridled criticism damage artists' motivation and passion on creativity.

Besides, we must admit that more criticism now tend to become destructive one. Some are no longer impartial critics, but rather devils who amuse themselves with abuse artists' works. It's the fact that those person truly exist in our life and we rarely ignore their great effects on artists albeit they're not real critics. It's possible that several artists are to sensitive to criticism. We have reasons to imagine that how the destructive criticism, mightier than mightiest weapon of destruction, undermines a sensitive art.

All in all, paying little attention to critics or not are involved one way or another, such as psychological condition of artists. To some psychologically handicapped artists, criticism especially for malicious criticism is disaster. To other artists, however, criticism drive them forward. It also depends on different perspective to see the critics. Criticism encourages artists and associates artists with public well. Identity from the latter arouse their ardent on are, so criticism excite artists' creativity indirectly. But once in a while, critics has artists lose themselves to cater for the man in the street though artists themselves maybe unintentionally. The point constraint artists' creativity, must be another catastrophe for art as well.




哇，AW练习，一次又一次刷新我人生中英文文章的长度记录啊。话说issue题目短，下起笔来却更难啊，感觉无从动手。但是我知道不能再拖了，不然就废了哎，于是昨天开始搜wiki什么的，昨晚写，写到本子没电了，今早又爬起来继续奋斗，终于搞完了，虽然文章还是很生硬还不知道跑题没，但是写了就是有和无的差别质的飞跃，自嗨一下呵呵
还是很明显感到主动词汇太少，巨型单一的很汗颜，感觉貌似英语水平就停留在初中，全是简单句或者很无谓的从句

ddcmj519UID: 176326

格式：
红色------错误
绿色------我认为不妥
紫色------很好~
蓝色------总体感觉



The impacts of critics on artists are manifold, which may discourage the development of art as well as be beneficial to 【对应前discourage, 这里用benefit会好些】it. As for artists, therefore, there should be some preservation of the suggestions from critics.
中规中矩的开头，就此理论。（隐约觉得咋那么像T的套路。。）

On one hand, critics are necessary to exist.【这句话有点CHINGLISH额，critics exists with their particular necessities.】 Critics, defined by modern society, are professionals or amateurs who regularly judge or interpret performances or works. And they often publish their observations 【不太通】 in periodicals, based on which they can help expend artists' reputation and influence which also promote the development of art. 【最后那个从句画蛇添足了，还不如用as well as】Thus a booming art provide artists a broad terrace to develop their career and inspire their creativity.【最后这句怎么感觉和前文没联系？！critics打成art 了？】感觉整段都是介绍性的文字，感觉浪费笔墨多了，此段唯一最后一句想切入主题还写错了。。再者，我就觉得这样，就给人一个定义性质的东西就下结论，不能说服rater吧~
=====综述段？
Even though critics attack【这词。。doubt on / criticize】 some artists instead of【instead 前后无必然联系】 publicizing art work, they are sometimes regarded as a kind 【role】 of incentive for artist. For instance, Han Van Meegeren, considered to be one of the most ingenious art forgers of 20th century, felt critics had destroyed his career when art critics decried his work as tired and derivative. Exactly the hitting on his work, he decided to prove his talent to critics. At last, his paintings were taken as genuine and exquisite by critics. Meegeren's huge success illustrates that criticism can be used as a moving force.

【有种缩写+改写的冲动。。For instance, Han Van Meegeren, one of the most ingenious art forgers of 20th century, who at first felt destroyed by critics, was referred as a genuine and exquisite painter after his hard try. criticism can be a pushing force.】例子太冗长，分散了注意力。而且过多的文字集中在例子上，没有注意说理，例子是为了说理而准备的，绝对不能以例子代替说理。参见米饭日志16楼的摘抄，例子的使用。 =======critics推动发展
In addition, art, in general, is subjective, advance and some way to express senses or emotions of individual artists.【又一个摘抄的定义】 So most of time it fail to be understood by the majority,【这话太没依据了。。想反驳的欲望强烈。。】 which constitutes such a immense gulf between artists and the general public. The fact not only dilutes ordinary peoples' interests in art because of abstruse, but also inhibits it to grow just for the reason that being far away from public. Then critic is the right bridge to link them.【这段太没依据了！所有东西都只是你认为的。仔细看题，critics的定义里有movie ， novel ， 等，这些都是和大众息息相关的。只能说，可能大众接受的东西和艺术家所期望表达的东西不太一样，还只是有时候，这样怎么能造成鸿沟呢？而且只有有public所接受的元素，artist也会被接受，总会有money给他们滴，怎么能说就阻止发展了呢？
Sth. of fiction。。。】
======理由段，不好。

Critics know much more about art than common people that makes them realize artists' works, the aesthetic object in depth and the profound meaning behind the works. At the same time, being aware of public is critics' advantage compared to those artists who usually divorce from masses. They can, consequently, lead public to the way of art. Critics assist public in comprehending art and afford the feedback of public's ideas back to artists. As we most of people take cognize of that artistic creativity roots in life. It's no other than common people who consist of life and various aspects of life, which makes the connection between public and artists significant.【继续强烈反驳欲望。。第一句，知道的多不一定就懂artists，而且其实我觉得critics一般都比较追求细枝末节，都是些完美主义者。比如他们攻击William的小说就说他用词粗浅，结果人家还是照样受大众欢迎。。所以在这里应该加个与前文衔接的词表示另外一种情况，而且在论证的时候加些 大多数情况 有时 啊，这样才使人信服~】
What's more, works from artists, excellent or poor, are saturated in modern society. We have merely time and energy to distinguish such masses of works. Our society may even find itself drowned out by them. Here criticism can be used as a sieve to filter that works, undeserved to spend our time on, a tool to help classics to go about.【看的时候特别希望一句后面跟点具体数字啥的~然后后面的东西又继续纯说理了。。。没个例子支撑还真是。。额。。其实我也有这问题。只是似乎在看别人的东西的时候，攻辩的小情感就被激发了。。
>_<
】
On the other hand, art is something individual as I mention above, even if critics are full of art's knowledge, they can't really experience any artists. Perhaps their comprehensions are incorrect and the criticism misguide people. Moreover, many artists have advanced ideas transcend their contemporaries. Critics, let alone general public, can hardly acknowledge artists' deep thought. Unbridled criticism damage artists' motivation and passion on creativity.
【额。。。怎么跟上面的某些段重复内容，还跟某些段说的是完全相反的。。】
Besides, we must admit that more criticism now tend to become destructive one. Some are no longer impartial critics, but rather devils who amuse themselves by abusing artists' works. It's the fact that those people truly exist in our life and we rarely ignore their great effects on artists albeit they're not real critics. It's possible that several artists are too sensitive to criticism. We have reasons to imagine that how the destructive criticism, mightier than mightiest weapon of destruction, undermines a sensitive art.【急需一个例子来支持你所谓的evil critics。and 看到这里已经不太明白作者要表达的啥意思了。。。我感觉怎么是2正1反，但这个1反反的太彻底导致我感觉作者已经开始抵制critics了。。】
All in all, paying little attention to critics or not are involved one way or another, such as psychological condition of artists. To some psychologically handicapped artists, criticism especially for malicious criticism is disaster. To other artists, however, criticism drives them forward. It also depends on different perspective to see the critics. Criticism encourages artists and associates artists with public well. Identity from the latter arouse their ardent on are, so criticism excite artists' creativity indirectly. But once in a while, critics has【不懂这里什么意思。。】 artists lose themselves to cater for the man in the street though artists themselves maybe unintentionally. The point constraint artists' creativity, must be another catastrophe for art as well.
【这段写挺好的~很好的综述~】

ddcmj519UID: 176326

其实 楼主的句型 不算差啦 ~
至少我看来。

果然改就是不一样啊。。
我就这么坦坦然的给您驳了一遍。。虽然我写的也不怎么滴。
有不当之处还望指出~咱共同进步~~~

ddcmj519UID: 176326

额。好像我评的有点吹毛求疵。。见谅见谅~

joyceww88UID: 2599492

哇，刚进来就看到满篇的的颜色充斥眼球啊。谢谢这么用心看我的东西（我都不好意思叫它作文了）
恩，我两天没上了，才看到
很高兴DDCMJ改的这么认真啊，谢谢
对于ISSUE我也很迷茫啊，所以到现在都没敢去改
总之谢谢你了啊，我还没仔细看，不过我相信看完之后应该会学到很多的

ddcmj519UID: 176326

其实我改的也很迷茫。。就是完全凭着是否可以攻击去改- -
但是至少改了大家的以后好歹还是有点认识了·~ 自己欣慰下~嘎嘎~

joyceww88UID: 2599492

仔细看了作者给改的，对于你的认真，真的是再次表达衷心的感谢
对于句子方面的问题，改完之后我真的很心悦诚服，这个我一时半会也改不过来。恩，总之我会慢慢努力的
至于论证观点什么的，我觉得可能存在以下问题：
1.我想表达的用英文表达出来后使得意思扭曲了，或者让人读不懂了
2.你的观点与我不同，或者说我们思考的角度，逻辑不同。这样使得你对我的大部分内容不认同。无所谓对错，大家观点不同吧
3.我的思维方式确实存在很大的问题，因为以前没好好跟人交流过，所以被改出这么多毛病

我是很诚恳的提出这些问题的（虽然表达起来好像很赖皮不认错呵呵），也希望大家再探讨探讨，最后能解决问题
最后再次感谢你的批改，对于别人的东西都能这么认真负责的对待，很感动啊（说得有点矫情了呵呵，54我好了）

irvine666UID: 2575525

唉，多好的气氛哪...为啥我复习的时候碰不到这样的组哩

ddcmj519UID: 176326

1.我想表达的用英文表达出来后使得意思扭曲了，或者让人读不懂了
2.你的观点与我不同，或者说我们思考的角度，逻辑不同。这样使得你对我的大部分内容不认同。无所谓对错，大家观点不同吧
3.我的思维方式确实存在很大的问题，因为以前没好好跟人交流过，所以被改出这么多毛病

ANSWER
1.这个确实有点，其中几个句子我都不知道你要表达啥意思。
2.是这样的，我觉得作为一个一辩陈词似的ISSUE，我觉得光这样1，2，3点是不够的，必须在这1，2，3点的基础下把理论补充完整，说理说到透彻。让看的人心服口服一点都不想反击。当然这个是理想状态。我就觉着吧，我们要强力的QUESTION ourselves，把咱自己的理论发展完善，就是这样的想法指导着俺改的。所以可能有点偏激，呵呵~
3.交流出真理~加油加油~~

ddcmj519UID: 176326

8# irvine666
PAT~
抱~
喵哈哈~

天天添添UID: 2599433

红色------我认为错误
黄色------我认为不妥，但自己也拿不准
紫色------表扬
蓝色------总体感觉

The impacts of critics on artists aremanifold, which may discourage the development of art as well as bebeneficial to it. As for artists, therefore, they should be somepreservation of the suggestion from critics (提出论点)

On one hand, critics are necessary toexist. Critics, defined by modern society, are professionals oramateurs who regularly judge or interpret performances or works. Andthey often publish their observations in periodicals, based on which（好像用得不是很恰当）they can help expend（expand？） artists' reputation and influence which alsopromote the development of art. Thus a booming art provide artists abroad terrace to develop their career and inspire their creativity.（
这一段最后一句话用的不太恰当。因为前面都在说critics，突然冒出一个booming art，让人觉得作者思维过于跳跃。）

Even though critics attack someartists instead of publicizing art work, they are sometimes regarded asa kind of incentive for artist. (这句话不是很懂。但明显能感觉出后面的例子好像不能够对这个观点起支撑作用。)For instance, Han Van Meegeren,considered to be one of the most ingenious art forgers of 20thcentury, felt critics had destroyed his career when art critics decriedhis work as tired and derivative. Exactly the hitting on his work, hedecided to prove his talent to critics. At last, his paintings weretaken as genuine and exquisite by critics. Meegeren's huge successillustrates that criticism can be used as a moving force.


In addition, art , in general, issubjective, advance and some way to express senses or emotions ofindividual artists. So most of time it fail to be understood by themajority, which constitutes such a immense gulf between artists and thegeneral public. The fact not only dilutes ordinary peoples' interestsin art because of abstruse, but also inhibits it to grow just for thereason that being far away from public. Then critic is the right bridgeto link them.（这一段好像又在说批评的积极作用，感觉作者写了这么多还没进入正题：艺术家对批评家的态度）

Critics know much more about art thancommon people that makes them realize artists' works, the aestheticobject in depth and the profound meaning behind the works. At the sametime, being aware of public is critics' advantage compared to thoseartists who usually divorce from masses. They can, consequently, leadpublic to the way of art. Critics assist public in comprehending artand afford the feedback of public's ideas back to artists. As we mostof people（这个地方是不是有点问题？） take cognize of that artistic creativity roots in life. It'sno other than common people who consist of life and various aspects oflife, which makes the connection between public and artists significant.（怎么感觉还没进入正题？）

What's more, works from artists,excellent or poor, are saturated in modern society. We have merely timeand energy to distinguish such masses of works. Our society may evenfind itself drowned out by them. Here criticism can be used as a sieveto filter that works ,undeserved to spend our time on, a tool to helpclassics to go about.（感觉前面几段都在说critics的作用，但没有对artist为什么因该对critics采取preservation的态度没有做出分析。用这么大的篇幅写与主题无关的内容显得不太妥当。）

On the other hand, art is somethingindividual as I mention above, even if critics are full of art'sknowledge,they can't really experience any artists. Perhaps theircomprehension are incorrect and the criticism misguide people.Moreover, many artists have advanced ideas transcend theircontemporaries. Critics, let alone general public, can hardlyacknowledge artists' deep thought. Unbridled criticism damage artists'motivation and passion on creativity.（有例子支撑就更好了）

Besides, we must admit that morecriticism now tend to become destructive one. Some are no longerimpartial critics, but rather devils who amuse themselves with abuseartists' works. It's the fact that those person truly exist in our lifeand we rarely ignore their great effects on artists albeit they're notreal critics. It's possible that several artists are to sensitive tocriticism. We have reasons to imagine that how the destructivecriticism, mightier than mightiest weapon of destruction, undermines asensitive art.（还是例子）

All in all, paying little attention tocritics or not are involved one way or another, such as psychologicalcondition of artists. To some psychologically handicapped artists,criticism especially for malicious criticism is disaster. To otherartists, however, criticism drive them forward. It also depends ondifferent perspective to see the critics. Criticism encourages artistsand associates artists with public well. Identity from the latterarouse their ardent on are, so criticism excite artists' creativityindirectly. But once in a while, critics has artists lose themselves tocater for the man in the street though artists themselves maybeunintentionally. The point constraint artists' creativity, must beanother catastrophe for art as well.


1.总体感觉楼主的句子写的不错
2.例子少了一点，例子对观点的支撑不够
3.进入主题太晚。对为什么artist应该对critics采取preservation的态度分析得不够
4.我改的时候参看了dd的意见，重复的地方就没有提了

ddcmj519UID: 176326

TO楼主还有天天。

俺这周先消失下。下周回来有空我们仨再好好讨论下，咱这文章都得下大力气改改好才成~~

ddcmj519UID: 176326

错了。。下下周、、