TOEFL 上半年Dark_Tournament写作小组网兜妮妮第十三次作业

网兜妮妮UID: 2612538

The problems of traffic are always big problems in city. With the increasing amount of private cars, the traffic condition is from bad to worse, especially during the time people go to work or from workplace to home. But it is not a convinced reason to support the idea that drivers should pay a fee to be allowed to drive on the streets during the time when there is the greatest amount of traffic. We pay our taxes, and other fee is unaccepted for citizens.
Firstly, from the government side, we know that the government has the response to provide a convenient environment to its people helping them have a better life. And the road condition is basic to this. When the time there is a great amount of traffic, the government should pay attention to how to make a proper solution to help relieves the situation instead of letting drivers to pay a special fee to reduce the cars on road. Furthmore, maybe the fee can work well in a short time because some drives will not go at that time to escape the fee, but this will cause another time that there is a great amount of traffic, maybe an hour after the committing time, so the “fee solution” is not work well all the time.
On the other hand, to the driver, he or she has the right to use the road no matter when the time is. Image that if there is another problem happened in our city, to deal with it, money can make you a priority, the result will be terrible. If this principle is accepted, maybe the residents will pay more to solve their problems. For example, if the hospital is crowed, we should pay an extra fee to see a doctor？Actually, in most situations, pay money to get a better chance is unfair to the low-income families. So it will not be accepted by individuals.
In short, pay fee to use a road in a special time is unreasonable to drivers. Deal with this problem, government should have more effective ways which is fair and well accepted. So I disagree with what the title said.

babffUID: 2539532

The problems of traffic are always big problems in city.（感觉第一句话就两个problems不太好，可以说the congested traffic are always the big problems in the city） With the increasing amount of private cars, the traffic condition is from bad to worse, especially during the time people go to work or from workplace to home. But it is not a convinced reason to support the idea that drivers should pay a fee to be allowed to drive on the streets during the time when there is the greatest amount of traffic.(这句话照抄了原题，我上XDF老师说。。这样最不好，老米会认为有抄袭原话，可以改为the driver should pay a fee for the driving during the busy traffic time) We pay our taxes, and other fee is unaccepted for citizens. 0 (这句可以用个原因从句代替，the fee is unaccepted for us because of our taxes)             解决00000000000000000000000人人0


Firstly, from the government side, we know that the government has the response to provide a convenient environment to its(感觉有点怪怪的，用the吧) people helping them have a better life. （可以加个说明我们交了税，所以政府有责任给我们解决）And the road condition is basic to this. When the time（during the time when是不是好些） there is a great amount of traffic, the government should pay attention to how to make a proper solution to help relieves（help后面要么to do要么doing） the situation instead of letting drivers to(去掉) pay a special fee to reduce the cars on road.

Furthmore, maybe the fee can work well in a short time because some drives will not go at that time to escape the fee, but this will cause another time that there is a great amount of traffic, maybe an hour after the committing time（不是太懂）, so the “fee solution” is not work well all the time.（应该再加个细节或例子感觉更好）

On the other hand, to the driver, he or she has the right to use the road no matter when the time is. Image that if there is another problem happened in our city, to deal with it, money can make you a priority, the result will be terrible. If this principle is accepted, maybe the residents will pay more to solve their problems.（感觉这两句更像主题句，应该放到开头，第一句可以放在结尾作为重述主题） For example, if the hospital is crowed, we should pay an extra fee to see a doctor？Actually, in most situations, pay money to get a better chance is unfair to the low-income families. So it will not be accepted by individuals（so to the drivers…接第一句）.

In short, pay（加个extra是不是思维更紧密）fee to use a road in a special time is unreasonable to drivers. Deal with this problem, government should have more effective ways which is fair and well accepted. So I disagree with what the title said.


总体感觉童鞋这篇是不是没花心思写。。。感觉和你以前的文章差的很远（恕我直言）

网兜妮妮UID: 2612538

呃，楼上讲的很对，这篇文章写的的确匆忙~
之后不会啦~~~

chelseajcoleUID: 2589519

The problems of traffic are always big problems in city. With the increasing amount of private cars, the traffic condition is from bad to worse, especially during the time people go to work or from workplace to home. But it is not a convinced reason to support the idea that drivers should pay a fee to be allowed to drive on the streets during the time when there is the greatest amount of traffic. We pay our taxes, and other fee is unaccepted for citizens.（为什么是CITIZENS，写drivers吧，不是每个CITIZEN都是DRIVER）

Firstly, from the government side, we know that the government has the response to provide a convenient environment（方便的环境？） to its people helping them have a better life. And the road condition is basic to this. When the time there is a great amount of traffic, the government should pay attention to how to make a proper solution to help relieves the situation instead of letting drivers to pay a special fee to reduce the cars on road.（收费不正是方式之一嘛，用一个具体的例子还设问比较好，比如说建造更多的路而不是收费，这样具体的对比才会强烈） Furthmore, maybe the fee can work well in a short time（period） because some drives（drivers) will not go at that time to escape the fee, but this will cause another time that there is a great amount of traffic, maybe an hour after the committing time, so the “fee solution” is not work well all the time.(这个理由很不错！）

On the other hand, to the driver, he or she has the right to use（harness） the road no matter when the time is.(any time they like) Image that if there is another problem happened(occured) in our city, to deal with it, money can make you a priority, the result will be terrible. If this principle is accepted, maybe the residents will pay more to solve their problems. For example, if the hospital is crowed, we should pay an extra fee to see a doctor？Actually, in most situations, pay money to get a better chance is unfair to the low-income families. So it will not be accepted by individuals.
(例子举得很恰当，但感觉主题句概括不够广，应该说“收钱不是解决问题的方法”而非“我们每个人有权利任何时间使用路面",一来他没不让你用，只是收钱而已，二来好像是剥夺了你权利一样。可以把这句话放在第而句用）
（只有两个理由嘛？）
In short, pay fee to use a road in a special time is unreasonable to drivers. Deal with this problem, government should have more effective ways which is fair and well accepted. So I disagree with what the title said.