TOEFL 4—6月Dark_Tournament写作小组 恩恩的囡囡的 第十三次作业

恩恩的囡囡UID: 2542371

Do you agree or disagree with the statement that drivers should pay a fee to be allowed to drive on the city streets during the time when there is the greatest amount of traffic?

Do you agree or disagree with the statement that drivers should pay a fee to be allowed to drive on the city streets during the time when there is the greatest amount of traffic? That is a question. Don’t you think this is just like Shakespeares line: To be or not to be? That is a question. However, when I compare the two side of the question, I find that the assent is my choice.

I want to get the ball rolling by talking about the work of the traffic police. Whenever I came across a heavy traffic jam, there must be at least one or two traffic cops at each crossroad. Yes. You got it. They are busy directing the traffic. The more cars there are, the easier a traffic jam can happen. And because of this, the more point policemen there should be. Then more money is needed to pay for them. So it’s reasonable for a driver to pay for a fee to be allowed to drive on the city streets when there is the busiest traffic jam.

Besides the police’s salary problem, there is the streets’ requirement. It cannot be denied that if there are too more cars on a street, the speed of the street to be broken is accelerated. When a street is breaking or has been broken, it must be repaired as soon as possible. Or there may be more and more complaint of such problems. And people will be really dissatisfied with the government. To avoid such kind of problem, the advice about collecting fees should be accepted.

Paying money for mending the streets is true, but it’s also a fact that the concept of saving money is in human’s nature. When there’s no fee should be paid before driving to the city streets. People will be lazy to walk anywhere, even a distance of five-minute walk. As long as there is a clause of paying fee, people may choose walk to some places nearby, such as the supermarket near their apartments. At the other hand, the decreasing of car using can help improve the air pollution. For there would be less harmful gases released into the air.

With so many helpful functions, why not make such a formula that drivers should pay a fee if they want to drive on the city streets during the time when there is the heaviest traffic.

liurui8802UID: 2595045

you agree or disagree with the statement that drivers should pay a fee to be allowed to drive on the city streets during the time when there is the greatest amount of traffic? That is a question. Don’t you think this is just like Shakespeares line: To be or not to be? That is a question. However, when I compare the two side of the question, I find that the assent is my choice.（这段太冗长，好像挤字数，还想到莎士比亚，最后一句也没这么表达的，同意就agree好了）

# y6 C8 H; x  e0 M2 oI want to get the ball rolling by talking about the work of the traffic police. Whenever I came注意时态 across a heavy traffic jam, there must be at least one or two traffic cops（不正式） at each crossroad. Yes. You got it. They are busy directing the traffic. The more cars there are, the easier a traffic jam can happen。And because of this, the more point policemen there should be. Then more money is needed to pay for them. So it’s reasonable for a driver to pay for a fee to be allowed to drive on the city streets when there is the busiest traffic jam.这段开头观点不明确，最好开头句说明白些

Besides the police’s salary problem, there is the streets’ requirement. It cannot be denied that if there are too more （many)cars on a street, the speed of the street to be broken is accelerated.(中式英语） When a street is breaking or has been broken（中式英语）, it must be repaired as soon as possible. Or there may be more and more complaint of such problems. And people will be really dissatisfied with the government. To avoid such kind of problem, the advice about collecting fees should be accepted.

Paying money for mending the streets（没有说mend streets的) is true, but it’s also a fact that the concept of saving money is in human’s nature. When there’s no fee should be paid 语法错误，两个谓语before driving to the city streets. People will be lazy to walk anywhere, even a distance of five-minute walk. As long as there is a clause of paying fee, people may choose （to)walk to some places nearby, such as the supermarket near their apartments. At the other hand, the decreasing of car using（use) can help improve the air pollution.(improve pollution?) For there would be less harmful gases released into the air.
# H' f  F! B5 \5 b& ~1 V) i& w. TWith so many helpful functions, why not (make such a formula that)什么意思？ drivers should pay a fee if they want to drive on the city streets during the time when there is the heaviest traffic.
作者语法还有较大问题，多是句子表达不地道，并且句式简单，词汇基本，还需要加强基础性词汇和语法训练。多读多背一些好文章

wibbonUID: 2466089

Thanks a lot!