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[未归类] [5.6月份 cracking ibt essay! 小组写作组 llacat 第1次作业] [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-4-18 21:44:29 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 llacat 于 2009-4-18 21:47 编辑

Most people would agree that finish two kinds of a projects at the same time are much more quickly and efficiently than finsh one already then to start another.However,agreement ceases when confronted with the question whether the former one is practiacal.Those who criticize it
perceive it the former way is slowly indeed,while others expree a point of view that is profoundly different.As far as I am concerned,finish jobs in some kind of sequences benefits a lot.



The advantage of it lies first in the fact that it will be more easy to aggang one's job when he finish it step by step .For instance,we have several books to learn in our history cousese this semester.Our professer tend to teach Chinese history first then to start the world history.According to his words,one only know his own country's hisrory,can he be able to learn about the world's history.Nevertheless,by learning it orderly,we can konw this courese in a deep way and have time to find out which part is difficult for ourselves to remember.WE even may have interests to learn more about hisroty by reading books in this fields or seaching on the Internet.


Along with that,finsh several projects successsively may decrease the difficulties we may confront in the process.I will take myself for a example.Last week I wanted to review several of my accounting courses at same time and thought it would save a lot of time for me.But after I began to review,I found it was a mission of impossible.Since among these courses ,which one named intermediate financial accounting would have a deep realeationship with another one named basic accounting.So if I didn’t finish to review the later one,it would have more troubles to study the first one.

To make more balance statement,I cannot deny that sometimes finish two jobs at the same time will certainly save a lot of
time than finish them in a sequence.Because some projects, like doing exercises and walking dogs at morning ,will be an efficient way to save time in a work day.


From what has been discussed above,we can readily realize that finish two projects separately will bring large benefits to us .Consequently,we can conclude that this way is better than to finish jobs at same time.What we should do is to make a reasonable plan for ouselves, when we have to finsh several projects at a short time,and then we would know which way is more fit for oursevles.

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发表于 2009-4-19 22:11:31 |显示全部楼层
Most people would agree that finish(应该动名词做主语finishing) two kinds of a projects at the same time are(动名词做主语用单数is) much more quickly and efficiently than finsh(finishing) one already then to start another.However,agreement ceases when confronted with the question whether the former one is practiacal(practical).(争论倒是开始还是停止,如果是停止的话不符合逻辑)Those who criticize it+ {3 [1 Q: P+ M8 D$ perceive itit本身就指代the former way该删掉) the former way isis 删掉,一个从句句子出现两个动词,要么用从句,要么用非主谓形式) slowly indeed,while others expree(express) a point of view that is profoundly different.As far as I am concerned,finish(finishing) jobs in some kind of sequences benefits a lot.
+ ~6 N0 |' n3 k) A" |5 E& o2 `; x9 N* w: \, O2 |8 R; |
The advantage of it lies first in the fact that it will be more easy to aggang (arrange)one's job when he finish it step by step (when前面半句实在看不懂你到底想要说什么).For instance,we have several books to learn in our history cousese(course)(in介词) this semester.Our professer(professor) tend to teach Chinese history first then to start the world history.According to his words,one only know(kowing) his own country's hisroryhistory,can (这地方要倒装吗?我不是很清楚)he be able to learn about the world's history.Nevertheless,by learning it orderly,we can knowknow this courese in a deep way and have time to find out which part is difficult forto ourselves to remember.(深刻理解历史和有时间找出那部分是难点有关系吗?)We even even去掉用别的表示承接关系的词)may have interests to learn more about hisroty(history) by reading books in this fields or seaching (searching)on the Internet. (最后一句逻辑关系缺乏,不是学习更多的历史,而是学习更多的关于这个难点的历史)
6 G  V& ~- D5 w) h% L
4 {& f2 X* c% o  Along with that,finshfinishing several projects successsivelysuccessively may decrease the difficulties we may confront in the process.I will take myself for aan example.Last week I wanted to review several of my accounting courses at same time and thought it would save a lot of time for me.But after I began to review,I found thatit was a mission of impossible(这句中士英语太严重了,I found that it is impossible for me to complete the mission in time..Since among these courses ,which one(one of which) named intermediate financial accounting would (would删掉)have a deep realeationship(relationship) with another one(one of which) named basic accounting.So if I didn’t finish to review the later one,it would have more troubles(不可数名词哦) to study the first the formerone.! u0 D5 O" B6 H3 O3 q! K" J
/ E9 n+ W. }9 Z: [" t# gTo make more balance statement,I cannot deny that sometimes(someone) finish two jobs at the same time will certainly save a lot of % m- o& A$ o) T/ h% l, time than finishfinishing them in a sequence(in sequence)Because some projects, like doing exercises and walking dogs at morning ,will be an efficient way to save time in a work day(这个句子表述有很大问题建议好好改写).% i6 {2 i9 X  \5 Y' e

- I% h( h% I7 g1 g; W: q
From what has been discussed above,we can readily realize that finish two projects separatelyin sequence不是分离的而是有顺序的吧) will bring large benefits to us .Consequently,we can conclude that this way is better than to finish jobs atthe same time.What we should do is to makemaking a reasonable plan for ouselves(ourselves), when we have to finsh(finish) several projects at a short time,.这和后面的句子是两个句子)and then we would know which way is more fit for tooursevlesourselves.
总评:1句子拼写错误太多建议贴上去叫人改的时候先用WORD检查一下语法和拼写错误
2 中士英语太严重。逻辑不严谨
3 词汇贫乏如finish从头用到尾,没有变化,
4语法错误比较多,特别是非谓语形式,习惯用语错误
5句式简单
6每段主题句尚可,但没有结尾
作者好好看看范文特别是文章的逻辑,段落的安排承接关系

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IBT Zeal

发表于 2009-4-19 22:27:33 |显示全部楼层
不错
分析很详细
共勉

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RE: [5.6月份 cracking ibt essay! 小组写作组 llacat 第1次作业] [修改]

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