0910AW 同主题写作第五期 ARGUMENT65 by cooljcq

cooljcqUID: 2498528

Argument65.The following appeared in a memo from the president of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States.

"For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, （1）the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a（2）recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers.（3）Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses."


Based on the ungrounded reasons and inference, the arguer got the false conclusion that the stores should stop stocking their varieties of imported cheese and pay their major attention on domestic cheeses. As regard the unwarranted foundation, the detailed interpretation will be stated as followings.
First of all, there is nothing persuasive data to provide for us to believe that domestic cheeses (DC) sell well. The arguer mistook an individual typical case to enlarge to all over the chain stores. The well sold DC at the newest store could not guarantee the good selling in their other stores of the chain. Besides, it is well grounded to believe that the newest store only sold five types of DC, consequently, can five best-selling cheeses be sold.
In the second place, the recent survey investigated by Cheeses of the World magazine （CWM） can’t convince us the increasing quantity of DC. At the beginning, the survey didn’t supply enough statistics to testify its conclusion, such as the number and extension of interviewees. From the result that CWM gave, the inquisition was run in their customers.
Therefore, the result of investigation is not faithful to us.
Furthermore, whether the increasing preference for DC can alter to real customers of DC is uncertain. Maybe all of them just take it as chat material after their meal and reluctant to buy them. Finally, the objectivity of investigation done by CWM is obscure. No one knows that the method it utilized and the investigator it sent had impact on the investigation or not. If the investigators were inclined to the results they wanted during interviewing, the survey report is away from its objective foundation.
Last but not least, it is unconvinced that cutting off the stocking of imported cheeses and concentrating largely on DC can gain more profits. There is no plentiful data to prove that the selling of imported cheeses makes no or less profits compared with the selling of DC. It is possible to infer that the imported cheeses earn more returns than DC, for the high price and excellent quality of it. Many people, especially the youth prefer the imported cheeses to the DC for the purpose of chasing the fad and tide. The poor quality and unsavory flavor, even the inferior package would make the customers keep away from them. Therefore, it is cursory for the arguer to make up his decision without considering a large amount of factors that will influence the selling of cheeses.
All in all, the conclusion that the arguer got can’t bolstered by his evidences. Unless the arguer provides more persuasive and detailed data to keep his argument, the conclusion is not existent.

dacongfanUID: 2644717

Based on the ungrounded reasons and inference, the arguer got the false conclusion that the stores should stop stocking their varieties of imported cheese and pay their major attention on domestic cheeses. As regard the unwarranted foundation, the detailed interpretation will be stated as followings.觉得观点不是特别的清晰。拙见。
First of all, there is nothing persuasive data应该是no persuasive to provide for us to believe that domestic cheeses (DC) sell well. The arguer mistook an individual typical case to enlarge to all over the chain stores. The well sold DC at the newest store could not guarantee the good selling in their other stores of the chain. Besides, it is well grounded to believe that the newest store only sold five types of DC, consequently, can five best-selling cheeses be sold.不知道要说明什么。
In the second place, the recent survey investigated by Cheeses of the World magazine （CWM） can’t convince us the increasing quantity of DC. At the beginning, the survey didn’t supply enough statistics to testify its conclusion, such as the number and extension of interviewees. From the result that CWM gave, the inquisition was run in their customers.
Therefore, the result of investigation is not faithful to us.
Furthermore, whether the increasing preference for DC can alter to real customers of DC is uncertain. Maybe all of them just take it as chat material after their meal and reluctant to buy them. Finally, the objectivity of investigation done by CWM is obscure. No one knows that the method it utilized and the investigator it sent had impact on the investigation or not. If the investigators were inclined to the results they wanted during interviewing, the survey report is away from its objective foundation. 二和三都是结构不是很清楚，二是质疑survey但是三也有质疑survey的，为什么不写到一段里边了。
Last but not least, it is unconvinced that cutting off the stocking of imported cheeses and concentrating largely on DC can gain more profits. There is no plentiful data to prove that the selling of imported cheeses makes no or less profits compared with the selling of DC.好反驳 It is possible to infer that the imported cheeses earn more returns than DC, for the high price and excellent quality of it. Many people, especially the youth prefer the imported cheeses to the DC for the purpose of chasing the fad and tide.本身就是推测，怎么可以用来反驳呢 The poor quality and unsavory flavor, even the inferior package would make the customers keep away from them.同样，你怎么知道domestic的package等等的不好啊 Therefore, it is cursory for the arguer to make up his decision without considering a large amount of factors that will influence the selling of cheeses.
All in all, the conclusion that the arguer got can’t bolstered by his evidences. Unless the arguer provides more persuasive and detailed data to keep his argument, the conclusion is not existent. 我觉得最好把那些detailed data列出了，另外，组后一个用的不好，不应该是existent，convincing是否好些啊。

总得来说，感觉楼主没有完全的按照模板来写，值得学习。但是，整体文章的逻辑结构不是很清楚，论证也不怎么有力，加油啊！
我的链接
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=963973&extra=