【辉太郎杀G大队】7/14作业by sindytt (Issue212 Argument200)

sindyttUID: 2661721

TOPIC: ARGUMENT200 - Statistics collected from dentists indicate that three times more men than women faint while visiting the dentist. This evidence suggests that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are. Thus, dentists who advertise to attract patients should target the male consumer and emphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients.
WORDS: 463


Based on dubious statistics, the author supposes that the cause for men's fainting during the visit the dentist is to be distressed about having dental work, and then assuming that men are likely not to go dentist for scaring. Synthesizing the two hypothesises, and another assertion that the anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity are the most important way to make male consumers relax and less painful, the author accordingly suggests that the dentists should emphasize both things to attract male patients. Apparently, however there are several fallacious in this argument.

First of all, I doubt the statistics that men are more likely to faint than women by three times during the visit to the dentist. The author provides no information where the statistics is from or how the test is conducted, thus making it doubtful whether the amount of people involved is large enough to represent of the overall population. If the test is conducted in a busy international city such as New York, then the result is bound not be applicable to the whole country.
These events would make the statistics unconvincing, unreliable and unrepresentative.

Secondly, even if the statistics are as reliable as the author cited, the author unfairly assumes that men are more distressed, so that they are more likely to faint. Perhaps men's ability to endure pains are inferior to women. Or perhaps men are more fragile when facing bloods. Without ruling out these possibilities, it is unwarranted to draw the conclusion that men are more distressed when being treated by the dentist.

Moreover, the author asserts that number of men, who go to see the dentist, are smaller than
that of women, because they are afraid of being distressed. Nevertheless, the author fails to provide any information about that. That men are more likely to faint can't illustrate that they will not go to the dentist when they have a toothache.

Finally, the author unreasonably suggests the dentist to pay more attention on their effectiveness of their anesthetics techniques and the sensitivity of their staff. Maybe patients feel suffering and nervous just because of the cold medical instruments and the noise these instruments are making. It is also possible that men are more sensitive to the odor of alcohol.

To sum up, the author's conclusion is not well supported as it stands. The statistics he provides, the underlying logic error in his reasoning, the failing to rule out other alternatives which make patients nervous and painful are all egregious flaws in the argument. To bolster it, the author must provide more detail about the statistics and the number of men and women patients. To better assess the problem, I would also need to know the feeling of patients and the reason why they feel uncomfortable and suffering in therapy.


TOPIC: ISSUE212 - "If a goal is worthy, then any means taken to attain it is justifiable."
WORDS: 574

In this profits-oriented era, most people hold, at the bottom of their heart, that every means towards a worthwhile goal is justifiable. However, it may raise a controversial debate on whether a goal is worthy. Moreover, even a goal is worthy, conforming to a worldwide social value, the means should not be taken by the cost of harming social well-being or breaking the law. This applies equally to individual goals and to societal goals.

Different people of various demography place different emphasis on the same thing, according to their different custom, culture and value system. Consider the goal of getting into a prestigious school. Some people are struggled to do that at any expense, while other might think it unworthy. A student, who wants to get enrolled into a famous school, should make every effort to do an excellent school work and get a score as high as possible, which is bound to reduce their time for entertainment. He might also lose opportunities to contact the society and has little command of the society. The tuition fee and the time-if not, he can find a job to earn money can constitute a big cost. So from different perspective, everyone has his own opinion on whether a goal is worthy or not.

Now consider the goal of maxima ting profits and intimating costs for a company. Anyone would agree that this goal is worthy out of question--considered apart from the means used to achieve it. But what if those means involve evading tax and employing child labor? Is it justifiable to get a high score by cheating in the test? Or is it justifiable to deceive people when a politician wants to win a election? Concerning about an individual goal, which meets the beneficial need for only one or a group of people, at least, the means of attaining the goal should not be against the law. If the goal is achieved at the expense of harming others' benefits or the social welfare, we can't easily entitle it justifiable.

However, even if the goal is worthy to a societal extent, which means the goal bring about benefits to a society as a whole, the means taken should still be consistent with ends in view. For instance, any thoughtful people would agree that reducing air and water pollution is a highly worthy goal; clean air and water reduce the burden on our health care resources and improves the quality of life for everyone in society. Yet to achieve the goal would we be justified in forcing entire industries out of business, thus running the risk of economic paralysis and widespread unemployment? Or consider build a bullet train between two busy cities, such as New York and Chicago. Did our interests of spending less time in traffic justify our committing resources that could have been used instead for other domestic social-welfare programs, such as medical system and charity--or a myriad of other productive purposes? Both issues underscore the fact that the worthiness of a societal goal cannot be simply considered apart from the means and adverse consequences of attainting that goal.

To sum up, the author's conclusion is biased. The worthiness of any goal, whether it be personal or societal, can be determined only by weighing the benefits of achieving the goal against its costs-- to us as well as others. We nee d to take a overall and careful investigation before taking action to attain a goal.

ApplemangoUID: 2661244

TOPIC: ARGUMENT200 - Statistics collected from dentists indicate that three times more men than women faint while visiting the dentist. This evidence suggests that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are. Thus, dentists who advertise to attract patients should target the male consumer and emphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients.
WORDS: 463


Based on dubious statistics, the author supposes that the cause for men's fainting during the visit
visiting the dentist is to be
being distressed about having dental work, and then he assumes that men are likely not to go dentist for scaring. Synthesizing the two hypothesises, and another assertion that the anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity are the most important way to make male consumers relax and less painful, the author accordingly suggests that the dentists should emphasize both things to attract male patients. Apparently, however there are several fallacious in this argument.

First of all, I doubt(比较专业的写法都不会出现I这个词，出现I的话显得不那么客观，可以参考北美范文)the statistics that men are more likely to faint than women by three times during the visit to the dentist. The author provides no information where the statistics is from or how the test is conducted, thus making it doubtful whether the amount of people
sample involved is large enough to represent of the overall population. If the test is conducted in a busy international city such as New York, then the result is bound not be applicable to the whole country.
These events would make the statistics unconvincing, unreliable and unrepresentative.

Secondly, even if the statistics are as reliable as the author cites, the author unfairly assumes that men are more distressed about the pain of dental work, therefore that they are more likely to faint. Perhaps men's ability to endure pains is inferior to women. Or perhaps men are more fragile when facing bloods. Without ruling out these possibilities, it is unwarranted to draw the conclusion that men are more distressed when being treated by the dentist.

Moreover, the author asserts that number of men, who go to see the dentist, are smaller than
that of women, because they are afraid of being distressed. Nevertheless, the author fails to provide any information about that. That men are more likely to faint can't illustrate that they will not go to the dentist when they have a toothache. (和第二段的理由有点重复了)

Finally, the author unreasonably suggests the dentist to pay more attention on their effectiveness of their anesthetics techniques and the sensitivity of their staff. Maybe patients feel suffering feel nervous just because of the cold medical instruments and the noise these instruments are making. It is also possible that men are more sensitive to the odor of alcohol.

To sum up, the author's conclusion is not well supported as it stands. The statistics he provides, the underlying logic error in his reasoning, the failing to rule out other alternatives which make patients nervous and painful are all egregious flaws in the argument. To bolster it, the author must provide more detail about the statistics and the number of men and women patients. To better assess the problem, I would also need to know the feeling of patients and the reason why they feel uncomfortable and suffering in therapy.


Argument基本的套路已经完成了，但是各个分论点之间的逻辑有点问题呢。
比如说第二段和第三段就可以合在一起写。
需要更加一针见血的观点来反驳作者。

ApplemangoUID: 2661244

TOPIC: ISSUE212 - "If a goal is worthy, then any means taken to attain it is justifiable."
WORDS: 574

In this profits-oriented era, most people hold, at the bottom of their heart, that every means towards a worthwhile goal is justifiable. However, it may raise a controversial debate on whether a goal is worthy. Moreover, even a goal is worthy, conforming to a worldwide social value, the means should not be taken by the cost of harming social well-being or breaking the law. This applies equally to individual goals and to societal goals.（开篇点题，还不错）

Different people of various demographic place differently emphasis on the same thing, according to their different custom, culture and value system. Considering the goal of getting into a prestigious school, some people struggle to do that at any expense, while other might think it unworthy. A student, who wants to get enrolled into a famous school, should make every effort to do an excellent school work and get a score as high as possible, which is bound to reduce their time for entertainment.(这里是不是换个说法说，在学生看来，为了去好学校牺牲娱乐时间努力学习是值得的，但是在其他人看来，学费高昂，无法支付，去好学校释不值得的)
He might also lose opportunities to contact the society and has little command of the society. The tuition fee and the time-if not, he can find a job to earn money can constitute a big cost. So from different perspective, everyone has his own opinion on whether a goal is worthy or not.

(点出从个人目标出发…..最好再点明从企业和政治两个方面出发，为你下文铺垫好层次，但是从下文来看，也没有写是从个人目标出发耶，跟你的提纲不一样) Now consider the goal of maxima ting profits and intimating costs for a company. Anyone would agree that this goal is worthy out of question--considered apart from the means used to achieve it. But what if those means involve evading tax and employing child labor? Is it justifiable to get a high score by cheating in the test? Or is it justifiable to deceive people when a politician wants to win an election? Concerning about an individual goal, which meets the beneficial need for only one or a group of people, at least, the means of attaining the goal should not be against the law. If the goal is achieved at the expense of harming (我觉得violating更好)others' benefits or the social welfare, we can't easily entitle it justifiable.

However, even if the goal is worthy to a social extent, which means the goal bring about benefits to a society as a whole, the means taken should still be consistent with ends in view.（和你这一段的结尾有冲突呢，开头说为了一个对整个社会有益的目标应该用各种方法达成，结尾说，用各种方式的时候要衡量它的利弊和成本收益） For instance, any thoughtful people would agree that reducing air and water pollution is a highly worthy goal; clean air and water reduce the burden on our health care resources and improves the quality of life for everyone in society. Yet to achieve the goal would we be justified in forcing entire industries out of business, thus running the risk of economic paralysis and widespread unemployment? Or consider build a bullet train between two busy cities, such as New York and Chicago. Did our interests of spending less time in traffic justify our committing resources that could have been used instead for other domestic social-welfare programs, such as medical system and charity--or a myriad of other productive purposes? Both issues underscore the fact that the worthiness of a societal goal cannot be simply considered apart from the means and adverse consequences of attainting that goal.

To sum up, the author's conclusion is biased. The worthiness of any goal, whether it is personal or societal（social 和societal的用法不一样，我觉得用前者更好）, can be determined only by weighing the benefits of achieving the goal against its costs-- to us as well as others. We need to take an overall and careful investigation before taking action to attain a goal.

这篇文章的结构清楚，但是各个分论点没有能很好的逻辑结合，更清晰地去层层攻击题目。
每个段里面的开头和结尾不能向矛盾。
里面有很多拼写错误如A/An。