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[i习作temp] issue31@@A Dream@@小组第6次作业bywobaobao519 [复制链接]

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GRE斩浪之魂 AW活动特殊奖 GRE梦想之帆

发表于 2009-7-15 20:50:25 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 wobaobao519 于 2009-7-15 20:51 编辑

TOPIC: ISSUE31 - "Money spent on research is almost always a good investment, even when the results of that research are controversial."


People are now living in a world where they are in deluge with all new technologies, thanks to the research that scientists have done which lead to the adventing of those technologies. Only recently, some people began to doubt the worthiness of the research if the result of the research is controversial after plunging into so large amount of money to investigate it. Actually,in some level, no matter the result is, the money spent on the research is a good investment and worthwhile.

Money plunged into the research is always valuable for the reason that it can not only stimulate people’s interests and also add satisfaction to the job. Research is kind of boring in some level, and before success one need to be so determined and patience that he can go through nadir, failure and
achieve for the goal. Enough amount of money can be served as proper inducement to trigger people to stick to and be patient. Also, the whole process of research needs precision apparatus, which always very expensive, to check the data or the result would be inaccurate or may be just can not come out. What is more, for the research center, it is crucial to update instrument and buy latest one which also needs myriad of money. Both the research center and scientists who work for it attain multitude advantage from money.


The result of the research are always leading us to better society and what is more, providing us more convenience and health life. Though research, we have gained numerous information on how to live a more healthy life. For example, we know that eating fruit at ten o'clock in the morning and two o'clock in the afternoon will benefit us most according to statistic in the research when to eat food”. And we know that people in the environment of peaceful, bright, replete with joy will have longer life and higher satisfaction about themselves. As a result, our society are trying to build an harmonious surroundings. Based on those various kinds of research, we have our guidance and lead us to become a superior group.

Even when the result are controversial, the money spent on that are worthy.
History has taught us that
objects move forward in a sinuation
way and always move forward to some extent. If something that arises controversial issue which means it need improving and revising, and does not mean it is of no use or it is worthless to continue. This rule suits to the case of research also. We can not deny the value of research because it is controversial. Actually, in some level, all the results of researches have
two sides. Such as cars, because of cars, we can move quickly and swiftly, also because of cars, our envrionment had suffers unreversion damage, furthermore, plenty of cars made our traffic became chaos. But we can not say the whole research about cars are worthless and the money we put into are wasted. The research, is way that we human proceed, a sign of
our creative thinking , a result of human intelligence, is counting for the money we spent.


Many people would ask what about nuclear technology and cloning , they are threatens to human lives. It is not the business of research, it is determined by people how to use. As the research itself, there is no preference, can be beneficial and can be detrimental, all lies on the people choice. As an example, for cloning, if people make it for good use to save people' lives, that will be tremendous breakthrough, but if people use it randomly and freely, then will be a disaster. No matter what kind of research is, the thing matters most is how people treat and use it.

The research, which combines with large amount of money, efforts, and intelligence, are all meaningful. What is more important, it is not the research, but the people how to use and when to use it.


多多指教,一定回改!!

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GRE斩浪之魂 AW活动特殊奖 GRE梦想之帆

发表于 2009-7-16 00:15:49 |显示全部楼层
to amy:不要下手软啊, 尽管批~~~~

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GRE梦想之帆

发表于 2009-7-16 14:36:19 |显示全部楼层
People are now living in a world where they are in deluge with all new technologies, thanks to the research that scientists have done which lead to the advent of those technologies. Only recently, some people began to doubt the worthiness of the research if the result of the research is controversial after plunging into so (such a) large amount of money to investigate it. Actually, in some level, no matter what the result is, the money spent on the research is a good investment and worthwhile.

Money plunged into the research is always valuable for the reason that it can not only stimulate people’s interests and also add satisfaction to the job. Research is kind of boring
in some level
on a certain extent, and before success one needs to be so determined and patience (注意词性patient) that he can go through nadir, failure and achieve the goal. Enough amount of money can be served as proper inducement to trigger people to stick to and be patient (用词不当,最后还缺少宾语). Also, the whole process of research needs precision precise apparatus, which always be very expensive, to check the data or the result would be inaccurate or may be just can not come out. What is more, for the research center, it is crucial to update instrument and buy latest one which also needs myriad of money. Both the research center and scientists who work for it attain multitude advantage from money (do you mean “will benefit from the investment”).

The result of the research are always leading us to better society and what is more, providing us more convenience
s and healthy lives. Through research, we have gained numerous information help us to live a more healthy (healthier) life. For example, we know that eating fruit at ten o'clock in the morning and two o'clock in the afternoon will benefit us most according to statistic in the research “when to eat food”. And we know that people in the environment of peaceful, bright, replete with joy will have longer life and higher satisfaction about themselves. As a result, our society is trying to build harmonious surroundings. Based on those various kinds of research, we have our guidance and lead us to become a superior group.
提出研究可以引导更好的生活提供更多方便,但举例没有完全贴合上来。

Even when the results are controversial, the money spent on that are
(钱是不可数的is worthy. History has taught us that objects move forward in sinuation and always move forward to some extent. If something that arises controversial issue which means it needs improving and revising, and does not mean it is of no use or it is worthless to continue. This rule suits to the case of research also. We can not deny the value of research because it is controversial. Actually, in some level, all the results of researches have two sides. Such as cars, because of cars, we can move quickly and swiftly, also because of cars, our environment had suffers unreversion(词性) damage, furthermore, plenty of cars made our traffic became chaos. But we can not say the whole research about cars are is
worthless and the money we put into are
is wasted. The research, is a way that we human precede, a sign of our creative thinking, a result of human intelligence, is counting for the money we spent. 这段还连贯。

Many people would ask what about nuclear technology and cloning, they are threatens to human lives. It is not the business of research; it is determined by people how to use. As the research itself, there is no preference, can be beneficial and can be detrimental, all lies on the people’s choices. As an example, for cloning, if people make it for good use to save people' lives, that will be tremendous breakthrough, but if people use it randomly and freely, then will be a disaster (
缺少主语,要注意句子的衔接). No matter what kind of research is, the thing matters most is how people treat and use it.说的这么绝对,论述的又不够有力。 反问,生化武器的研究何益?

The research, which combines with large amount of money
investments, efforts, and intelligence, are all meaningful. What is more important, it is not the research, but the people know how to use and when to use it.结尾拖后腿了额,不够精炼甚至没有表达清楚你上文要说的观点。
总的来说要注意单词的词性变化,单复数变化。语法也要加强,复合句型尽量不要简单的叠加句子。结构清晰的,也有很明确的观点,加强论述深度,就有很好的说服力了。
你是用word2003写的么?有些基本错误文档可以自动检测出来的。不知道是句子不通还是啥问题,我居然改了一个半小时。。。。。。你要加油啊
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wobaobao519 + 1 谢谢~~~

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If you fall off a building it dosen't matter if you're a good or a bad person, you're going to hit the ground

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GRE斩浪之魂 AW活动特殊奖 GRE梦想之帆

发表于 2009-7-16 16:40:27 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 wobaobao519 于 2009-7-16 16:45 编辑

谢谢小amy,我写的时候用的是awp,写完之后我都有放到word里面改的,不过是人工改,发现我怎么调我的word他都语法那里就是不出来,恩,我还是再下过一个word吧~~~~
55555555555555555,越写越没有信心,话说貌似我的英语基础好像还可以啊,可每写一次改一次就打击我自信,真不知道自己原来是怎么认为自己英语还不错的:L
好吧,我们晚上讲,555555

我改好了之后,就会再发上来的~~~~

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RE: issue31@@A Dream@@小组第6次作业bywobaobao519 [修改]

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