进军美利坚小组作文byAmber

Amber0926UID: 2555355

30min 总写得很着急，错误挺多，批改的同学费心了！

8.13 Some people think it's more important to spend more time working than being with family，你的觀點?

For most of the time, we are always on the arduous journey in seeking for the answer of this question: how can we allocate time reasonable between job and family? A multitude people hold the opinion that we had better spend more time working than being with family, for the more work people do, the more money they can earn. Contrary to most of the people, is my heartfelt agreement with the idea that people should spend time rational being with family and work. Only that way can they enjoy the real meaning of happiness and success.

To begin with, if people allocate time with family rationally, not only seldom influence they daily work but promote the relationship of family member. In that way, people can enjoy true essence of life. We can take a glance at a common example, my uncle, who set up his own business three years ago, a big supermarket. At the begin, he is alway  busy operating this mark everyday, while he ignore the feeling of his family members. Seldom can he spend time with my little sister, so my sister seems have distance with him. During that period, he have little to have a rest and spend with family, finally he realized that even though he get big success of business, he will lost something important in the life---Family love. So now he arrange time in rule about work and spend more time being with family, never delay something about job. My little sister love him more and more and my uncle feels happiness more than ever. In short, balance time on work and family is a good meaning to enjoy life and get sense of achievement.

Secondly, if people spend more time on work, it definitely more or less have some bad effects on their health. In order to achieve high quantity of sale or earn much more money, people may be omit their breakfast, ignore every year's health examination, causing stomach ache and even more some serious diseases. They devote themselves on endless job and exchange health with money. Finally they will have nothing but a poor physical condition. In that way, money and power means nothing. Just family is their end-result. So spend too much time on job is not a sensible choice.

Based on all the facts previously stated, we may safely draw a conclusion that people spend more time on work than being with family is absolute a wrong decision. Though it may be possible to measure the value of happiness and success in term of money and power that work bring out, it is extremely difficult to estimate the true lose of which people sacrifice time with family. So people spend time should sensible between job and family.

ly8768UID: 2452066

For most of the time(most time就可以了，好像most不能做代词), we are always on the arduous journey in seeking for the answer of this question: how(How,冒号后的首单词要大写) can we allocate time reasonable between job and family? A multitude(a multitude of people ) people hold the opinion that we had better spend more time working than being with family, for the more work people do, the more money they can earn. Contrary to most of the people, is my heartfelt agreement with the idea that people should spend time rational(rationally) being with family and work. Only that way can they enjoy the real meaning of happiness and success.

To begin with, if people allocate time with family rationally, not only seldom(seldom倒装：seldom will it influence their daily work) influence they daily work but promote the relationship of family member. In that way, people can enjoy true essence of life. We can take a glance at a common example, my uncle, who set up his own business three years ago, a big supermarket. At the begin, he is always  busy operating this mark everyday(every day), while he ignore the feeling of his family members. Seldom can he spend time with my little sister, so my sister seems have distance with him. During that period, he have little to have a rest and spend with family(这句重复了), finally he realized that even though he get big success of business, he will lost something important in the life---Family love. So now he arrange time in rule about work and spend more time being with family, never delay something about job. My little sister love(s) him more and more and my uncle feels happiness(feels more happy) more than ever. In short, balance(balancing) time on work and family is a good meaning to enjoy life and get sense of achievement.

Secondly, if people spend more time on work, it definitely more or less have(has) some bad effects on their health. In order to achieve high quantity of sale or earn much more money, people may be omit their breakfast, ignore every year's health examination, causing stomach ache and even more some(some more) serious diseases. They devote themselves on endless job and exchange health with money. Finally they will have nothing but a poor physical condition. In that way, money and power means nothing. Just family is their end-result. So spend(spending) too much time on job is not a sensible choice.

Based on all the facts previously stated, we may safely draw a conclusion that people spend more time on work than being with family is absolute a wrong decision. Though it may be possible to measure the value of happiness and success in term of money and power that work bring out, it is extremely difficult to estimate the true lose of which people sacrifice time with family. So people spend time should sensible between job and family.

左岸30min写成这样真是不错啊，强烈学习。注意写的时候不要写重复了。还有动词短语做主语时要用现在分词。另一个感觉就是第二个论点明显比第一个简单，用词什么的也没第一个好。写的时候把时间分均匀点好～