COMEON作文小组------tarayz 9月12日作业

tarayzUID: 2465688

12日

What the definition of "education" is? It is a program which teaches students to form a high developed, talent people in every aspect. The goal of education is to foster a people who have comprehensive knowledge. Accordingly, it is not proper way to emphasize any of them and ignore another one whether it is used for individual's future generation or the general learning.

General subjects are taught during school time which helps to boost students' knowledge and necessarily relationship between each subject. And the special skills focus much on future career. It seems that two kinds of education have no connection with each other. While as a matter of fact, future education is purpose of general education, and later one is base of future education. It has no conflicts with career's training. Even if it has no reality signification, but it will play an essential part in future developing. General subjects have equal functions as future education does.

However, it does not mean that students should learn future education as well as their general knowledge. It is possible that students in colleges and universities, who have their job careers at once, learn the necessary knowledge will contribute to their next development. But the students who have still in high schools are not sufficient to learn about future career, because they have much more important things to do, the completely development. Besides that, before they form a absolute responsible person, it is too early for them to choose their career, in reality, perhaps they even do not know what they will do in the future.

In summary, educators are not suppose to ignore either parts of education, no matter it is used for comprehensive development present, or the future career. It is possible that s in colleges and universities, students can emphasize on future careers. But in high schools, the ultimate goal for education is to develop students' overall knowledge and personal characters which are all purposes of general subjects.

chineseladyUID: 2403976

刚开始我也和LZ有同样的观点，就是高中生应该学习基础知识，大学可以多学职业课程。但是题目只是说明，高中和大学是否重点学习基础课程，所以我觉得直接回答比较合适吧，避免误会哦！说的不对请见谅！欢迎也拍我的。:handshake

tarayzUID: 2465688

As the accelerating expansion of modern society, people have to spend more time on their works, as along with physical pains,  high stress, spiritual sensitive. How to relax, and how to escape from these pressures is the essential issue for people who lived in such society. It is true that people can have completely relaxation when they spend their time alone, while, in my point of view, I think facing with different problems, besides the above ways, people can have diversity solutions to operate them.

Of course, the problem which cause the high stress  more or less relevant with other people. How they communicate with each other or can they have the problems in cooperation. So the best way which help to deal with these pressures is to leave away from them for a long time relaxation.  Do not have to consider about other's thoughts, suggestions, behaviors, people have the chances to be themselves. They can do anything they want. Spending time alone at home is a representative example of this kind. They can read their favorite books no matter what other people appreciate it or not. They can sleep as long as they wish, no caring about whether it is late or not. They do not need to pay much attention to what other people have said, and have to adulate others even if they do not appreciate them.

However, it does not mean that staying alone is the only way to relax. There are many other ways which attribute to reduce stress. People have different inclinations, so you cannot expect them would have similar solutions to stress. For some people, spend time alone will help them contemplate about their interests, lives as well as releasing stress. But for other people, it is social communications that have the benefits of relaxing. People can talk about their problems and future with their friends. Or spending time with their friends can reduce their pressures. Or even if talking with other people who are not familiar, will help to release their stresses and have definitely relaxations.

In summary, I have to say that spend time alone is a good way for relaxing. But it is not suitable for everyone. People can have their own opinions about their solution against with stress. NO matter it is spending time alone, or talking with other people, it would be a beneficial method to modern people if it has been concerned by them as a useful way.

tarayzUID: 2465688

The statement says that the best way to truly relax and reduce stress is to spend time alone.(一般第一句话要复述的话最好能把词或者句型换一下比较好) But some may think that it is better to relax with friends and familyfamilies. However, I strongly agree with the statement issue (换词suggestion) that stay with nobody is the best way to relax and reduce stress.

It is true that sometime staying or travelling with family or friends gives a person a good chance to relax. Indeed, no one can survive without connection with others. For example, driving a Moto home to suburban and having a picnic with families is a popular way to relax for many Americans during the holiday. And some business men who have a great amount of stress in office often choose to drink something in bar with their friends after work.（有例子但感觉应该总结下，来引起下文）

However, the best way to truly relax and reduce stress, the best way is to staystaying alone. To illustrate this point of view, it is necessary to figure out the cause of stress. In the modern society, everyone has more than one identification. For a man, he is a worker in office who A man as a employee who works in the office and deals with tasks ordered by his boss; He will be a husband when he get back home, and will deals with housework and as well as take taking care of his kids. Thus, the stress is generated during the proceeding of connection connecting with people. (感觉这里转的有点硬，如果可以概要说下独自的好处 while, staying alone do not need to deal with all these problems  这样之类的感觉会顺一点)So the best way to reduce stress or relax is to stay alone.

On the other hand, to stay alone is also the a basic requirement of some waysfor people to relax. For instance, more and more people do yoga at home or outdoor for the purpose to of relaxing. This wayIt requires totally silent, and the person who does this sport must keep his or her mind concentrateconcentrating. Another way to relax is sleeping. It is known to all that sleep is a behavior done alone. If there is any disturb, no one can sleep well. (感觉这两个例子没有真正体现独自减压，第一个还好点，但是没有和减压联系上。第二个例子感觉有单牵强)最后应该总结个一两句。

To sum up, I agree with the statement that the best way to truly relax and reduce stress is to spend time alone,（换句式） because the stress is created in socialization and many ways to relax require staying alone. 感觉结尾太模板了，有点草率。

纯属个人意见，看看就好了。
一起加油吧！y

goodchildUID: 2545448

What the definition of "education" is? (what is the definition of “education”?) It is a program which teaches students to form a high developed, talent people in every aspect.(是不是to be a high developed and talent people in every aspect的意思啊？talent不是教育能够达到的，更多的是天生的,high developed好像也不怎么恰当，in every aspect也不现实。建议改下这句话) The goal of education is to foster a people who have comprehensive knowledge. Accordingly, it is not (a) proper way to emphasize any of them (建议指代清楚them 是指什么) and (建议改为while) ignore another one (no matter) whether it is used for individual's future generation (不明白是什么意思，是指下一代吗？)or the general learning.

General subjects are taught during school time （in school就好了）which helps to boost（好像没见到过这么用的） students' knowledge and necessarily（necessary） relationship between each subject. And (but) the special skills focus much on future career. It seems that two kinds of education have no connection with each other. While (but/however,) as a matter of fact, future education is (the) purpose of general education, (感觉不是很恰当，因为general education 的目的并不是future education,可以说general education is the base of further education) and later one (the latter one) is (the) base of future education (future education不恰当，可以说职业教育，专门技能的教育). It has no conflicts with career's training（It does not conflict with career training）. Even if it has no reality signification (significance in reality), but (与前面的even if 重复) it will play an essential part in future developing. General subjects have equal functions as future education does.

However, it does not mean that students should learn（learn 和education 不搭，可改为receive,但这样又与后面的knowledge不搭） future education as well as their(删掉) general knowledge. It is possible that students in colleges and universities, who have their job careers at once（是毕业就找工作的意思吧，建议改下说法）, learn the necessary knowledge will（which） contribute to their next development. But the students who have (删掉) still in high schools are not sufficient (此处用sufficient不太恰当) to learn about future career, because they have much more important things to do, the completely （complete） development. Besides that, before they form （become）a absolute responsible person, it is too early for them to choose their career, in reality (in fact), perhaps they even do not know what they will do in the future.

In summary (in sum), educators are not supposed to ignore either parts of education, no matter it is used for comprehensive development present(放在comprehensive前面,或 at present), or the future career. It is possible that s in colleges and universities, students can emphasize on future careers.（这句话建议改下，总觉得奇怪） But in high schools, the ultimate goal for（of） education is to develop students' overall knowledge and personal characters which are all purposes of general subjects.

希望注意用词的准确性，搭配要恰当。虽然大概能明白意思，但是读起来总是觉得别扭。
加油！

goodchildUID: 2545448

goodchildUID: 2545448

As the accelerating expansion of modern society, people have to spend more time on their works, as (删掉) along with physical pains,  high stress, spiritual sensitive. How to relax, and how to escape from these pressures is the essential issue for people who lived in such society. It is true that people can have completely relaxation when they spend their time alone, while, in (as) my point of view, I think (与前面的as my point of view 重复，删去一个) facing with different problems, besides the above ways, people can have diversity (diverse) solutions to operate them.

Of course, the problem which cause the high stress  (is) more or less relevant with (to) other people. How they communicate with each other or can they have the problems in cooperation. So the best way which helps to deal with these pressures is to leave away from them for a long time relaxation (从for开始有点感觉不对).  Do not have to consider about other's thoughts, suggestions, behaviors, people have the chances to be themselves. They can do anything they want. Spending time alone at home is a representative example of this kind. They can read their favorite books no matter what （whether） other people appreciate it or not. They can sleep as long as they wish, no caring about whether it is late or not. They do not need to pay much attention to what other people have said, and have to adulate others (与前面的do not need to pay much attention to 不搭) even if they do not appreciate them. 0L#mU_(v[~
|留学|签证|TOEFL|GRE8?8B"[]'wp O
However, it does not mean that staying alone is the only way to relax. There are many other ways which attribute to reduce stress. People have different inclinations, so you cannot expect them would (删掉) have similar solutions to stress. For some people, spend time alone will help them contemplate about their interests, lives as well as releasing stress. But for other people, it is social communications that have the benefits of relaxing（建议改下说法）. People can talk about their problems and future with their friends. Or（删掉or） spending time with their friends can reduce their pressures. Or even if talking with other people who are not familiar, will help to release their stresses and have definitely（应该为形容词，最好换个词） relaxations

In summary（改为 in sum）, I have to say that spend time alone is a good way for relaxing. But it is not suitable for everyone. People can have their own opinions about their solution against with (正确的用法为solution to sth, 所以此处要改) stress. NO matter it is spending time alone, or talking with other people, it would be a beneficial method to modern people if it has been concerned by them as a useful way

这篇总体思路清晰，但仍然有些地方感觉比较中国

tarayzUID: 2465688

今天这篇超时了 好久 句子想了很久 感觉写起来比较不顺手  所以内容也有点超了
it is better to work for a large company than for a small company

To certain extent, whether people choose a large company or a smaller one is focuses on the conflicts among salaries, the company's scale and the future perspective.  As my point of view, through working in small companies, people would have comprehensive developments in their careers.

Admittedly, amount of advantages that small companies have are not comparable to that of bigger ones. In large companies where the ordinary orders have been established, and there is no need for people to take care about it. What they need is only working hard and waiting for the high paid. But it has no beneficial of amplifying their working fields widely.

On the other hand, working in a small company which would offer individual a  amplitude space to utilize his capacity. It is possible that small company cannot provide the similar conditions which have mentioned above, as lager one does. Whereas every company has its period of developing. Even if the rapid expansion company "facebook", was derivated from a college students. No one can ever expect that it would be a company which is compared to "Google" right now. Small company has the same opportunity of developing as a larger one. Otherwise, as lacking normal, strict orders as larger one has, people must have abilities of dealing with every possible problem from every aspect. It is a great challenge for people as well as a available chance to grow up. Working in architect studio is a representative example of this kind. If you work in a lager company, where projects have been classified to several kinds.  And   in each kind, the personal works are limited by different functions. For instance, it is likely that you have to drawing the detail of bathroom in each projects that your group has for one year. At that time, you have no chance to learn any other things about constructing a building except the bathroom. However, it would not happen in small companies. People work as a group, which have to do all they can to help contriving a building, from design to construction. People have to charge not only the bathroom but the whole room, living room, bedroom, kitchen and etc. Therefore, people can advance their ability of designing more frequently during working in small studio rather than large one.

In addition,  there are less problems relevant to social relationship people have to  handle in small companies. More people will lead to more wars of human communication. People work in large companies should pay their attentions mostly on dealing with relationship between colleagues and their employers. While less people in small companies will reduce the attrition among colleagues. It is more pleasant and comfortable  to work in small companies but not those one, which has big lager number of employees.

In sum, I have to say that working in large company would contribute to your stable, easy life. But it will abrade your enthusiasm and struggling mind along with working in large company. People, however, should work hard and fight for their lives during youth. If we do not have confidence to disposal such difficulties, how can we are expected to create a better life for future?

ansoncodeUID: 2528782

To certain extent, whether people choose a large company or a smaller one is focuses  (is focuses -> focus) on the conflicts among salaries, the company's scale and the future perspective.  As my point of view, (from my point of view) through working in small companies, people would have comprehensive developments in their careers.

Admittedly, amount of advantages that small companies have are not comparable to that of bigger ones. (这么写有点看不出让步，你可以用some minor advantages)In large companies where the ordinary orders have been established, and there is no need for people to take care about it. What they need is only working hard and waiting for the high paid. But it has no beneficial of amplifying their working fields widely.(it has-> these it, beneficial->benefits, amplifying主要表示放大，拓宽的话用broaden或widen 后面widely重复了，可以去掉)

On the other hand, working in a small company which would offer individual a  amplitude space to utilize his capacity. It is possible that small company cannot provide the similar conditions which have mentioned above, as lager one does. Whereas every company has its period of developing. Even if the rapid expansion company "facebook", was derivated from (derivated from -> originated by) a college students. No one can ever expect that it would be a company which is compared to "Google" right now. Small company has the same opportunity of developing as a larger one. （你说小公司也可以成长为大公司，你想说什么，大公司更好吗，如果是小的好，为什么小公司要拼命变成大公司，感觉逻辑有点问题） Otherwise(为什么是否则呢), as lacking normal, strict orders as larger one has, people must have abilities of dealing with every possible problem from every aspect. It is a great challenge for people as well as a available chance to grow up. (challenge和chance是否可数？) Working in architect studio is a representative example of this kind. If you work in a lager company, where projects have been classified to several kinds.  And in each kind, the personal works are limited by different functions. For instance, it is likely that you have to drawing the detail of bathroom in each projects that your group has for one year. At that time, you have no chance to learn any other things about constructing a building except the bathroom. However, it would not happen in small companies. People work as a group, which have to do all they can to help contriving a building, from design to construction. People have to charge not only the bathroom but the whole room, living room, bedroom, kitchen and etc. Therefore, people can advance their ability of designing more frequently during working in small studio rather than large one. （这一段写的很好，观点充实，例子也很多，但感觉组织比较杂乱，是否可以考虑分成两段呢）

In addition,  there are less problems relevant to social relationship people have to  handle in small companies. More people will lead to more wars of human communication. People work in large companies should pay their attentions mostly on dealing with relationship between colleagues and their employers. While less people in small companies will reduce the attrition（人员自然损耗 ，这个词用的太好了） among colleagues. （As a result）It is more pleasant and comfortable  to work in small companies but not those one, which has big lager number of employees.（跟第二段相比，这段就缺乏例子和充分展开了）

In sum, I have to say that working in large company would contribute to your stable, easy life. But it will abrade （这个词用的？建议用ice吧，浇灭了热情）your enthusiasm and struggling （这里用paradoxical更好吧） mind along with working in large company. People, however, should work hard and fight for their lives during youth. If we do not have confidence to disposal such difficulties, how can we are expected to create a better life for future? (问句适合在开头用，在结尾需要的是firm的conclusion,你觉得呢？)

本文观点 逻辑 过度 语言 都很自然 语法和表达尚待加强
结构上有待改进，第二段感觉有些臃肿，完全可以分成两段来写
另外麻烦楼主看看我的文章 提点意见吧 我挂了两天都没人看了 感激不尽
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-878483-1-1.html

tarayzUID: 2465688

To certain extent, whether the writing ability or the oratorical skill plays an essential role in development of personal characters focuses on the conflict among which one is more important?  Some people would prefer to writing ability, for the reason that it requires the abilities of comprehension and organizing. From my point of view, oratorical skill bases on the writing ability which presents it more comprehensive and overall requirement to individual.

Admittedly, writing is indispensible. Everyone have the opportunity to write but only a few can write in a logical reasoning and easy understanding. It reflects a serious of abilities of understanding, completely contemplation and presentation. And presenting as a printed article, people have abundant of time to revise it again and again which would contribute to form a comprehensive writing.

On the other hand, presents as an upgraded fruition of writing abilities, oratorical skill combines the ability of comprehension, organizing and emotional expression as well as personal charisma. Speaking skills demand not only the ability of writing but also the power of presenting them correctly and sentient. Unlike writing abilities which can be embodied among the final writing after numerous revisions, speaking skills are often the action at one time and cannot be remanded again. Lecture is a representative example of this kind. When you are making a speech, the problems that you are facing to are not only the organization of the article but also the ways of how to present it, how to attract audience and how to present your view clearly and easily to understand. After your oration, all your viewpoints, thoughts, emotions must be included in your speech. You have no possibility to change it again or alter it. Therefore, it demands a higher request for oratorical skills rather than writing abilities.   

In sum, writing ability is inevitable in developing of individual's ability. However, oratorical skill integrates the comprehensive abilities of every aspect and reflects a fully capability of individual which is more important.

jackallen0714UID: 2510951

To certain extent, whether the writing ability or the oratorical skill plays an essential role in development of personal characters focuses on the conflict among which one is more important?/楼主是想表达两者谁更重要有争议？表达方式有点怪  Some people would prefer to writing ability, for the reason that it requires the abilities of comprehension and organizing. From my point of view, oratorical skill  bases on the writing ability which presents it more comprehensive and overall requirement to individual.

Admittedly, writing is indispensible. Everyone have the opportunity to write but only a few can write in a logical reasoning and easy understanding. It reflects a serious of abilities of understanding, completely contemplation and presentation. And presenting as a printed article, people have abundant of time to revise it again and again which would contribute to form a comprehensive writing.

On the other hand, presents as an upgraded fruition of writing abilities, oratorical skill combines the ability of comprehension, organizing and emotional expression as well as personal charisma. Speaking skills demand not only the ability of writing but also the power of presenting them correctly and sentient/貌似不太妥当. Unlike writing abilities which can be embodied among the final writing after numerous revisions, speaking skills 多余 are often the action at one time and cannot be remanded again. Lecture is a representative example of this kind. When you are making a speech, the problems that you are facing to are not only the organization of the article but also the ways of how to present it, how to attract audience and how to present your view clearly and easily to understand. After your oration, all your viewpoints, thoughts, emotions must be included in your speech. You have no possibility to change it again or alter it. Therefore, it demands a higher request for oratorical skills rather than writing abilities.

In sum, writing ability is inevitable in developing of individual's ability. However, oratorical skill integrates the comprehensive abilities of every aspect and reflects a fully capability of individual which is more important.

2、3段例子不够充分，全文好像只有一个论点就sum了，而且speaking ability 是 writing ability 的upgraded fruition 好像不足以表明speaking well 就更重要，writing ability 是基础，那我们是不是更要把基础打好呢？个人觉得论点不是很合适

有些句子中心不是很突出，但用词很专业，不少我都没看过……可能需要注意下是否贴切？

tarayzUID: 2465688

11 5 Some people use Internet a lot to gain information, while others think using it will lead to problems, Do you agree or disagree（2006 年3 月25 日）


Definitely, Internet is an important approach of getting information, but whether Internet is the resource of troubles, to certain extent, depends on how the people use them. In my opinion of view, people utilize Internet, especially those who rely on it excessively would cause a great deal of problems.

Basically speaking, there is no doubt that people would see a widely world through Internet. Along with generalization of Internet, it is very like that Internet, to be  as a cyclopedia, become an essential mean to obtain new knowledge. Google, a searching engine, now become a literal verb in the dictionary. No matter how difficulty the problem is, “Google” it is a common method to solve it. In addition, taking part as a convenience, prompt media, people can get news more rapidly from it rather than newspaper, television, or other media. Take Beijing Olympic for instance, it takes only one minute or two for Internet media, like “sina” “Google” to upload their commentaries about the competitions while, newspaper or television have to take one day or few hours to report it.

However, it does not mean that Internet is a catholicon that can settle everything, in contrast, it causes much more troubles than it can solve. From the educational point of view, Internet can help students to search information related to their subjects, nevertheless, in reality, it leads to adverse effects on students who spent too much time on Internet and as a result, loss their patients toward their studies. And they forfeit their abilities of imaging or creation. Otherwise paying much time on playing Internet-games, chatting with other people and consequently, it is harder for them to pay much attention on their school affairs.
Not only do children, but also adults who have problems because of using Internet lead to social issues. Nowadays, it is easy for people to find information what they want, including something that could not be published before, for instance, the information about how to make a bomb. Therefore, too much affairs about self-made bombs explosion had happened. Besides that, hacker steals or attacks security department information depends on the circulation of Internet.

Furthermore, apart from common benefits of people, the disadvantage of using Internet refers to every aspects of individual life. Internet-shopping is a good case in point. Indeed, it is convenience for people, who do not have enough time or want buy something they cannot find beside them to shopping on Internet. However, it also generates amount of problems. Without touching its texture or looking over its material, people always purchase something may not look like as it in the picture. And just being attracted by the picture leads to rash-consumption as well as irrational-consumption and buy something people do not really need or they cannot afford.

In sum, Internet takes great assistance of obtaining information, but adversely, it intensify social problems and creates more individual troubles. It would be more benefit if people can hold a more rational attitude towards it and take its advantages avoid its deficiencies.

jackallen0714UID: 2510951

Definitely, Internet is an important approach of getting information, but whether Internet is the resource of troubles, to certain extent, depends on how the people use them. In my opinion of view, people utilize Internet, especially those who rely on it excessively would cause a great deal of problems.bbs.gter.net.s#n9F9}!r
t:Q

Basically speaking, there is no doubt that people would see a widely world through Internet. Along with generalization of Internet, it is very like that Internet, to be  as a cyclopedia, become an essential mean to obtain new knowledge. Google, a searching engine, now become a literal verb in the dictionary. No matter how difficulty the problem is, “Google” it is a common method to solve it. In addition, taking part as a convenience, prompt media, people can get news more rapidly from it rather than newspaper, television, or other media. Take Beijing Olympic for instance, it takes only one minute or two for Internet media, like “sina” “Google” to upload their commentaries about the competitions while, newspaper or television have to take one day or few hours to report it. RgN2Z/x        r z
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However, it does not mean that Internet is a catholicon that can settle everything, in contrast, it causes much more troubles than it can solve.和主题有点不和，加个if people use it excessively From the educational point of view, Internet can help students to search information related to their subjects, nevertheless, in reality, it leads to adverse effects on students who spent too much time on Internet and as a result, loss their patients toward their studies. And they forfeit their abilities 这个搭配不知对不 of imaging or creation. Otherwise？Moreover吧 paying much time on playing Internet-games, chatting with other people and consequently, it is harder for them to pay much attention on their school affairs.
Not only do children, but also adults who have problems because of using Internet lead to social issues这句什么意思？而且好像有语法问题. Nowadays, it is easy for people to find information what they want, including something that could not be published从后面看来不止是not be published，应该是endanger the society了:) before, for instance, the information about how to make a bomb. Therefore, too much affairs about self-made bombs explosion had happened. Besides that, hacker steals or attacks security department information depends on the circulation of Internet. |留学|签证|TOEFL|GRE
UAF'wu        t?VJ%B5zc
|留学|签证|TOEFL|GRE!n N&Fa-s3h8Aeg
Furthermore, apart from common benefits of people, the disadvantage of using Internet refers to 是要表达深入每个人的生活么？我没见过这种用法 every aspects of individual life. Internet-shopping is a good case in point. Indeed, it is convenience for people, who do not have enough time or want buy something they cannot find beside them to -》except shopping on Internet. However, it also generates amount of problems. Without touching its指代不明 texture or looking over its material, people always purchase something may not look like as it is in the picture. And just being attracted by the picture leads to rash-consumption as well as irrational-consumption and buy something people do not really need or they cannot afford.

In sum, Internet takes great assistance of obtaining information, but adversely, it intensify social problems and creates more individual troubles. It would be more benefit if people can hold a more rational attitude towards it and take its advantages avoid its deficiencies.

词汇量不错，小错误偏多哦~
有些地方我觉得好像用得不是很恰当，但限于个人能力也不知道对不对~