综合写作练习1topic：是工作4天好还是5天好？

半夏之北UID: 2517498

topic：是工作4天好还是5天好？
In the lecture, the speaker focuses on working four days in a week is not better than five days in a week for both companies and countries, challenging what are stated in the reading passage.

To begin with, the lecturer claims that working four days a week will force the company to spend more. Because adding new workers means the company will spend more on training, medical benefits, house benefits and digital facilities such as computers and office rooms. However, the writer believes as workers have more time to rest, they will have less costly errors, it will increase the profit

In addition, the lecturer goes on to discuss the issue that working four days a week will not create more jobs. In accordance with the lecturer, as hiring new workers will cost more, companies will still employee workers who are willing to work longer. Moreover, the company will have expectations that they will ask the workers to finish the five days' job in four days. As a result, no more jobs will be created, this perspective differs from the same as what is maintained in the article that from a country as a whole, working four days in a week will create more jobs and reduce the unemployment rates.


Furthermore, the lecturer also opposes to the writer’s expectation by emphasizing that working four days in a week will have a detrimental influence on their career. On the contrary, about the same problem, the writer insisted that employees will improve the quality of their lives by having more extra time. In order to demonstrate his perspective, the lecturer persuades us with the evidence that with respect to the promotion, the company is willing to promote workers who are working longer. And more generally, workers who are working only four days in a week will easily lose jobs in the economic recession.

To sum up, all the three evidences of the lecture illustrate that the speaker disagree with the points mentioned in the reading materials.

Jodie_310UID: 2439321

topic：是工作4天好还是5天好？# \' Q% d

In the lecture, the speaker focuses on（改成states that或 claims that好些，that后才加句子嘛） working four days in a week is not better than five days in a week for both companies and countries, challenging what are stated in the reading passage.4 s8 F, i4 b% K

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To begin with, the lecturer claims that working four days a week will force the company to spend more. Because adding new workers means the company will spend more on training, medical benefits, house benefits and digital facilities such as computers and office rooms（rooms不能包括在digital里面哦）. However, the writer believes （that）as workers have more time to rest, they will have less costly errors, it will(把it will换成and更简洁 ) increase the profit（profits）

In addition, the lecturer goes on to discuss the issue that working four days a week will not create more jobs. In accordance with the lecturer（这句话没必要，一般和。。。相一致是用在听力支持阅读里面的，这里是反驳，嘿嘿，这个是不是模板中的句子哦？）, as hiring new workers will cost more, companies will still employee（employ） workers who are willing to work longer. Moreover, the company will have expectations that they will ask the workers to finish the five days' job (这里说job感觉不太合适，意思应该是工作量吧，不知道 tasks可不可以) in four days. As a result, no more jobs will be created, this perspective differs from the same as （differ 和the same as咋能一起用呢）what is maintained in the article that from a country as a whole, working four days in a week will create more jobs and reduce the unemployment rates.

Furthermore, the lecturer also opposes to the writer’s expectation by emphasizing that working four days in a week will have a detrimental influence on their career（注意单复数的统一）. On the contrary, about the same problem,（前者用在反驳，后者用在支持） the writer insisted that employees will improve the quality of their lives by having more extra time. In order to demonstrate his perspective, the lecturer persuades us with the evidence that with respect to the promotion, the company is willing to promote workers who are working longer. And more generally, workers who are working only four days in a week will easily lose jobs in the economic recession. " G, t6 p, J- k( y5 j4 U

To sum up, all the three evidences of the lecture illustrate that the speaker disagree with the points mentioned in the reading materials.


总评：三个点都写到了。感觉细节写得比我还多一些。第一次写成这样很不错了。
模板你自己要再看一下。那个人肯定是把支持和反驳的放一起了。

半夏之北UID: 2517498

综合写作二 ---太空旅行

The lecture is mainly discussing the new and private space tour will have a detrimental effect on both the science and public by pointing three reasons, challenging what are stated in the reading passage which believes private space tour will bring many advantages to public and science.

First of all, the speaker thinks that the private space tour will increase the price of the travel, so it won’t benefit serious space exploration. Due to the large cost of safety during the travel and the cost of traffic control system and operation system, the price of the travel tickets will be increased. In contrast, the reading passage holds the different opinions. The writer argues that it will cut the price as competition is allowed.

Second, the speaker discusses the private space travel will not contribute to the scientific discoveries. As more scientists work for the private organization, they will not devote themselves to scientific research but commercial issues. Otherwise, the writer contradicts because it can make the whole industry as whole and they can employ more scientists. Since more scientists are working for them, it will be easier and quicker to find more discoveries.


Finally, the speakers raises the issue that privatization will not decrease the taxpaying paid by the government, but in the contrary, it will make the taxpaying go up. This is because when the increasing number of individuals wants to have a space tour, the government need to invest more money in building some fundamental facilities such as space station which is the private organization cannot afford. However, the reading passage casts doubt on it, because the writer believes the customs of industry will pay for it instead of the taxpaying.

larcwingUID: 2528204

2# Jodie_310
topic：是工作4天好还是5天好？
In the lecture, the speaker focuses on（on后面应该不能加句子的吧？建议改为claims that） working four days in a week is not better than five days in a week for both companies and countries（应该还有个individuals吧？总共三点，不要说掉了，用both也不好）, challenging what are stated in the reading passage.
To begin with, the lecturer claims that working four days a week will force the company to spend more. Because adding new workers means the company will spend more on training, medical benefits, house benefits and digital facilities such as computers and office rooms.（room可以叫做digital facility吗？） However, the writer believes as（that if） workers have more time to rest, they will have less costly errors, it will（thus） increase the profit
In addition, the lecturer goes on to discuss the issue that working four days a week will not create more jobs. In accordance with the lecturer,（这个分句有啥作用？） as hiring new workers will cost more, companies will still employee(employ) workers who are willing to work longer.（感觉这个有点不对劲，我记得L里说的是会要求他们work overtime并没有提关于聘请的倾向吧？） Moreover, the company will have expectations that they will ask the workers to finish the five days' job(work) in four days. As a result, no more jobs will be created, this perspective differs from the same as（用了differs怎么又用same了？） what is maintained in the article that from a country as a whole, working four days in a week will create more jobs and reduce the unemployment rates.
Furthermore, the lecturer also opposes to the writer’s expectation by emphasizing that working four days in a week will have a detrimental influence on their careers. On the contrary, about the same problem,（这句好像是废话） the writer insisted that employees will improve the quality of their lives by having more extra time. In order to demonstrate his perspective, the lecturer persuades us with the evidence that with respect to the promotion, the company is willing to promote workers who are working longer. And more generally, workers who are working only four days in a week will easily lose jobs in the economic recession.
To sum up, all the three evidences of the lecture illustrate that the speaker disagree with the points mentioned in the reading materials.

总体感觉细节很详细，把L和R结合得比较好，比我好~~不过感觉字数有点多了。。。。

Jodie_310UID: 2439321

The lecture is mainly discussing the new and private space tour will have a detrimental effect on both the science and public by pointing three reasons, challenging what are stated in the reading passage which believes private space tour will bring many advantages to public and science.

First of all, the speaker thinks that the private space tour will increase the price of the travel, so it won’t benefit serious space exploration. Due to the large cost of safety during the travel and the cost of traffic control system and operation system, the price of the travel tickets will be increased. In contrast, the reading passage holds the different opinions. The writer argues that it will cut the price as competition is allowed.

Second, the speaker discusses (这个that应该不能省吧？)the private space travel will not contribute to the scientific discoveries. As more scientists work for the private organization, they will not devote themselves to scientific research but commercial issues. Otherwise, the writer contradicts because it can make the whole industry as whole（直接说make the industry as a whole） and they can employ more scientists. Since more scientists are working for them, it will be easier and quicker to find more discoveries.)

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Finally, the speakers(speaker) raises the issue that privatization will not decrease the taxpaying paid by the government, but in the contrary, it will make the taxpaying go up. This is because when the increasing number of individuals wants to have a space tour, the government need to invest more money in building some fundamental facilities such as space station （which is最好前面加个逗号，不然感觉太长了。并且is要删掉） the private organization cannot afford. However, the reading passage casts doubt on it, because the writer believes the customs of industry will pay for it instead of the taxpaying.

写得不错。概括得很好，每个点都写到了，换词也换的非常到位。昨天浪迹天涯的话提醒我了，综合写作主要是考概括能力，这也是ETS对综合作文只要求150-225字的原因吧。并不是每个细节都写到了就是最好的。

我发现我听力好差。对着原文看发现自己好多没听出来~哎，听力不好会死得 很难看的。

Jodie_310UID: 2439321

这是一位新东方老师给我的范文。可以作为参考O(∩_∩)O~

In the lecture, the professor makes several points about disadvantages of privatized spaceflight industry. The professor claims that private space travel might bring more costs, safety problems as well as lower profits for government. This contradicts the point demonstrated in the reading that this new will bring big benefits to both science and the public.

The first point that the professor used to cast doubt on the reading is that private space travel are expensive, because too much money will be put into commercial space system and tested/retested safety control and thus more costs will be occurred. This is very different from the reading, while states that the cost will be decreased because there will be more competitions and therefore space travel will be cheaper.

The second point that the professor challenged the reading is that private scientific discovery will delay and even prevent the whole system if commerce is lack of scientific value. On the contrary, the reading passage contends that important scientific discoveries will be improved as a result of more companies and increased number of scientists.

Finally, the author of the passage points out that private space travel cannot succeed to finance since billions and billions dollars will be spent on space airports and space tourists, while the lecture states that more taxes will be paid by customs.

To sum up, the points asserted by the professor are totally different from what the reading notes.

半夏之北UID: 2517498

综合写作-3 校服

In the lecture, the speaker makes several points about dressing school uniform is not an effective way to reducing the nonacademic stresses which casts doubt on the reading passage.

First of all, the speaker thinks that the school uniforms themselves are often very expensive. Moreover, students will buy more after-school clothes which are fashionable and costly in addition to school uniforms. Both of them will cause a bigger expense. In contrast, the reading passage believes that the policy will make the school uniform more affordable as students need not to buy other clothes.

Second, the speaker discusses forcing students to wear school uniforms will trigger them to be more uncomfortable and self- conscious because they cannot have the right to select what they like; contradicting what is stated in the reading that the policy will eliminate this discomfort and self-consciousness due to the decreasing uncertainty of whether students are wearing the right clothes.

Finally, the speaker raises the issue that students always pick on others at this particular stage. Even if they do not pick on others for clothes, they will find other things such as music. In the contrary, the writer holds a different opinion that the policy will decrease the teasing and bullying among students because he believes students will pick on others only on account of clothes.

Jodie_310UID: 2439321

In the lecture, the speaker makes several points about （dressing school uniform is not an effective way to reducing the nonacademic stresses。about后面应该接名词） which casts doubt on the reading passage.

First of all, the speaker thinks that the school uniforms themselves are often very expensive. Moreover, students will buy more after-school clothes which are fashionable and costly in addition to school uniforms. Both of them will cause a bigger expense. In contrast, the reading passage believes that the policy will make the school uniform more affordable as students need not（dont' need to和needn't do sth.似乎不是同一个意思，貌似前者是说不需要……后者是说不应该做.....我不太确定两者的差别，你可以再看看） to buy other clothes.

Second, the speaker discusses forcing students to wear school uniforms will trigger them to be more uncomfortable and self- conscious because they cannot have the right to select what they like; contradicting what is stated in the reading that the policy will eliminate this discomfort and self-consciousness due to the decreasing uncertainty of whether students are wearing the right clothes.

Finally, the speaker raises the issue that students always pick on others at this particular stage. Even if they do not pick on others for clothes, they will find other things such as music. In the contrary, the writer holds a different opinion that the policy will decrease the teasing and bullying among students because he believes students will pick on others only on account of clothes.

听力好就是王道啊~~加油

larcwingUID: 2528204

In the lecture, the speaker makes several points（直接写3 points就好了吧，可以证明你既听得很明白，又会总结） about dressing school uniform is not an effective way to reducing（reduce） the nonacademic stresses which casts（主语是复数，不需要加s） doubt on the reading passage.

First of all, the speaker thinks that the school uniforms themselves are often very expensive. Moreover, students will buy more after-school clothes which are fashionable and costly in addition to school uniforms. Both of them will cause a bigger expense. In contrast, the reading passage believes that the policy will make the school uniform more affordable as students need not to buy other clothes.
（这里我有个问题，在写综合作文时是要突出speaker的反驳吧？而in contrast这个短语突出的是后面的部分，而你这里是把passage的观点放在了后面，不知道有没有影响？）

Second, the speaker discusses forcing students to wear school uniforms will trigger them to be more uncomfortable and self-conscious because they cannot have the right to select what they like; contradicting what is stated in the reading that the policy will eliminate this discomfort and self-consciousness due to the decreasing uncertainty of whether students are wearing the right clothes.（听力的部分还不够清楚，学生会更uncomfortable和self-conscious的原因应该算这段里比较重要的分析吧？是因为他们无法用自己认为合适的衣服展现优点并掩盖缺点~~不过如果考试时实在没听清，你这样处理也是蛮好的）

Finally, the speaker raises the issue that students always pick on others at this particular stage（加个of life要好些吧，因为你前面也没有强调是teenagers，只说students了）. Even if they do not pick on others for clothes, they will find other things such as music. In the contrary, the writer holds a different opinion that the policy will decrease the teasing and bullying among students because he believes students will pick on others only on account of clothes.
还是同样的问题，in the contrary这个短语似乎就把重心引到你对passage的概括去了，不知道会不会影响得分呢？我记得ETS的要求是更注重speaker的，范文的内容也很少提reading的内容。

larcwingUID: 2528204

你给我评的我刚看到了~~谢谢啊~~多多提批评建议^_^
关于end up的用法，它的意思是以。。。结束，end up increasing。。。就是说以增加。。。为结果，这其实是听力里的原话，我觉得很好就直接搬过来了，你没听到吗？

半夏之北UID: 2517498

10# larcwing
sorry,听力里那个我忘记了，我把end up的意思记错了......刚才专门去查了一下，不好意思啊.....
in contrast 的意思我记住了，下次作文调一调顺序，O(∩_∩)O谢谢

半夏之北UID: 2517498

综合写作4—慈善事业

The lecture mainly discusses about the charitable giving. The speaker believes that although the charitable giving has decreased substantially in recent years, it will be soon going up which contradicts the reading passage.

To begin with, the speaker claims that as the population of elderly and retired citizens is increasing, the government cannot cover their health care. As a result there is an increasing need of charitable giving solving the social problems .However the writer refutes this point as he thinks the need of charitable giving is less.

Furthermore, according to the lecture, the disclosures of waste and bad management at major charity are reducing .Moreover; these charities will reduce the expense and be subject to close public. With these actions, people will regain confidence in it and giving more to charities. The reading is the opposite idea that people will be giving less to charities as less percentage donated money can be used to charitable purposes.

Finally, the speaker supports that although there has been some charity frauds now, it just makes consumers more careful about their donated money. In addition, they are requiring having some skills to guard their money without stopping giving charity .However, the writer holds a different opinion about that.

半夏之北UID: 2517498

综合作文5
校外旅行
In the lecture, the speaker claims that the vacation which is that parents take their children on during the school year will have negative influence on students and teachers which is challenging what are stated in the reading passage.

To begin with, the speaker refutes the viewpoint showed in the passage that during the vacation the students will read about new place and culture easily by saying that after the vacation, students need to spend more time on catching up with other students. To justify this claim, the speaker provides the evidence that students only go on vacation for just a few weeks, therefore what they can learn from the vacation is less than what they fall behind from others.

Furthermore, the speaker opposes the writer's opinion which is vacation will heighten the enthusiasm of students to learn in the school as they will miss their life at school by emphasizing that students will feel that the routine of school is too boring to concentrate on their study after the exciting vacation.

Finally, the speaker states that as this vacation will affects students detrimentally, it will cause some problems to teachers too. In order to demonstrate his perspective, the speaker persuades us with the evidence that teachers' lesson plans which is in details day by day will be confused by helping some students to catch up with others. However, the writer believes that these students who attend the vacation can contribute to the development of lessons as they can share their experience with other students which is also can be the basis for their further study.

joyceliuUID: 2477232

Inthe lecture, the speaker claims that the vacation which is that parentstake their children on during the school year will have negativeinfluence on students and teachers which is challenging what are statedin the reading passage.
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Tobegin with, the speaker refutes the viewpoint showed in the passagethat during the vacation the students will read about new place andculture easily by saying that after the vacation, students need tospend more time on catching up with other students.（这句有点长，分开写也行） To justify thisclaim, the speaker provides the evidence that students only go onvacation for just a few weeks, therefore what they can learn from thevacation is less than what they fall behind from others（what the studnets gain from the short vacation can not outweigh their lost in studying at hte smae time).
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Furthermore,the speaker opposes the writer's opinion which is vacation willheighten the enthusiasm of students to learn in the school as they willmiss their life at school by emphasizing that students will feel thatthe routine of school is too boring to concentrate on their study afterthe exciting vacation.(还是应该重点突出听的内容）
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+ i  P3 b3 ?7 d* s: i- n: h5 E3 OFinally,the speaker states that as this vacation will affects studentsdetrimentally, it will cause some problems to teachers too（ meanwhile). In order todemonstrate his perspective, the speaker persuades us with the evidencethat teachers' lesson plans which is in details day by day will beconfused by helping some students to catch up with others. However, thewriter believes that these students who attend the vacation cancontribute to the development of lessons as they can share theirexperience with other students which is also can be the basis for theirfurther study.

joyceliuUID: 2477232

不好意思改晚了，昨天一直没找到你这篇