进军美利坚作文 9.17

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

9.17 would you agree that young people enjoy life better than older people

With the advent of sever economy depression, humans in the whole world have been struggling in their working positions. Even if before it happened, young generation are arduous for the future life; also they are obliged to make effort for their countries’ development. Hence, I cannot agree with the viewpoint that youngster enjoy life better than older people with following passages.

Young generation has been stressful under fast-speeding improvement in society. In China, for instance, students already start their competition since elementary schools, such as learning another language, music and math. Those, studying nothing, will be lagging behind. But in that case, there still parts of them could be accepted by famous universities. With more than 1.3 billions population in my country, meanwhile, it is tough to be employed into the corporations with a big fame. As college students, they are in the face of various exams concerning computer or foreign languages, in addition, have to improve their interpersonal skills and develop knowledge in distinctive fields. Comparing with the old generation, youth master modern facilities, which could bring them convenience in daily life. However, the radioactive from computer and cell phone will harm their health. One of my friends, who worked as a software engineer lost his hair lot due to facing to the computer for hours a day. Other working positions, to take an example, also need people always to be there even if around legal holidays, even no days off sometimes. It is hard for young people to gain a long holiday with salary. Many of them have never been obtained the chance to go abroad for vacation except they quit the job. So young generation have no opportunities and time to enjoy life, as some are still studying in college for their future and the rest, however, try to keep the job position for surviving.

Older generation can choose the lifestyle they prefer. As soon as they are retired, old people could have time to enjoy life. I see many of them going fish in New World garden where is closed to my community. That is a park with a lot of tree and grasses by a river. Those older generation arrive there earlier, doing exercises or fishing, learning Taiji to keep healthy. They have no pressure to support family as young generations do. The pension and other social benefits offer them to have better life, for instance, free transportation in some cities.

To conclude, young generations are struggling for better life, probably
have no chance to enjoy the lifestyle they appreciate; the old, however, could have a relaxed life with pensions and other kinds of insurance. They enjoy better life than young people do.

ppbboUID: 2537437

9.17 would you agree that young people enjoy life better than older people

With the advent of sever economy depression, humans in the whole world have been struggling in their working positions. Even if before it happened, young generation are arduous for the future life; also they are obliged to make effort for their countries’ development. Hence, I cannot agree with the viewpoint that youngster enjoy life better than older people with following passages. 直奔主题，很清楚，向姐学习！

Young generation has been stressful under fast-speeding improvement in society. In China, for instance, students already start their competition since elementary schools, such as learning another language, music and math. Those, studying nothing, will be lagging behind. But in that case, there still parts of them could be accepted by famous universities. With more than 1.3 billions population in my country, meanwhile, it is tough to be employed into the corporations with a big fame. As college students, they are in the face of various exams concerning computer or foreign languages, in addition, have to improve their interpersonal skills and develop knowledge in distinctive fields. Comparing with the old generation, youth master modern facilities, which could bring them convenience in daily life. However, the radioactive from computer and cell phone will harm their health. One of my friends, who worked as a software engineer lost his hair lot due to facing to the computer for hours a day. （好怕）Other working positions, to take an example, also need people always to be there even if around legal holidays, even no days off sometimes. It is hard for young people to gain a long holiday with salary. Many of them have never been obtained the chance to go abroad for vacation except they quit the job. So young generation have no opportunities and time to enjoy life, as some are still studying in college for their future and the rest, however, try to keep the job position for surviving. 说的好现实，不亏是有生活经验的人。我仿佛还在象牙塔中~~

Older generation can choose the lifestyle they prefer. As soon as they are retired, old people could have time to enjoy life. I see many of them going fish in New World garden where is closed to my community. That is a park with a lot of tree and grasses by a river. Those older generation arrive there earlier, doing exercises or fishing, learning Taiji to keep healthy. They have no pressure to support family as young generations do. The pension and other social benefits offer them to have better life, for instance, free transportation in some cities.
To conclude, young generations are struggling for better life, probably have no chance to enjoy the lifestyle they appreciate; the old, however, could have a relaxed life with pensions and other kinds of insurance. They enjoy better life than young people do.

内容好有感触，语言比我强百倍  学习！
只是说老一辈生活更悠闲，其实很难讲  不太同意

luke_003UID: 2660230

不好意思啊，这么晚才给翠花姐评，都怪自己太晕菜了。
With the advent of sever（serious?） economy depression, humans in the whole world have been struggling in their working positions. Even if before it happened, young generation are arduous for the future life; also they are obliged to make effort for their countries’ development. Hence, I cannot agree with the viewpoint that youngster enjoy life better than older people with following passages.开头不错，简洁流畅！

Young generation has（上面的用的是are啊,这里用单数是对的） been stressful under fast-speeding improvement in society. In China, for instance, students (have) already start(ed) their competition since elementary schools, such as learning another(foreign好一点吧) language, music and math. Those, studying nothing, will be lagging behind. But in that case, there (are)still parts of them (who) could be accepted by famous universities. With more than 1.3 billions(billion) population in my country, meanwhile, it is tough to be employed into the corporations with a big fame. As college students, they are in the face of various exams concerning computer or foreign languages, in addition, have to improve their interpersonal skills and develop knowledge in distinctive fields. Comparing with the old generation, youth master modern facilities, which could bring them convenience in daily life. However, the radioactive from computer and cell phone will harm their health. One of my friends, who worked as a software engineer lost his hair lot due to facing to the computer for hours a day(很好的例子). Other working positions, to take an example, also need people always to be there even if around legal holidays, even no days off sometimes. It is hard for young people to gain a long holiday with salary. Many of them have never been obtained the chance to go abroad for vacation except they quit the job. So young generation have no opportunities and time to enjoy life, as some are still studying in college for their future and the rest, however, try to keep the job position for surviving.这一段主要讲年轻人面临很多的压力，学很多东西，工作的时间长，没有节日，非常好，句子很简洁流畅，最好分成几个小层次，逐步递进会更好一些。

Older generation can choose the lifestyle they prefer. As soon as they are retired, old people could have time to enjoy life. I see many of them going fish in New World garden where is closed to my community. That is a park with a lot of tree（trees） and grasses by a river. Those older generation arrive there earlier, doing exercises or fishing, learning Taiji to keep healthy. They have no pressure to support family as young generations do. The pension and other social benefits offer them to have better life, for instance, free transportation in some cities.
写的不错，但略显单薄了，内容可以在扩充一些。
To conclude, young generations are struggling for better life, probably
have no chance to enjoy the lifestyle they appreciate; the old, however, could have a relaxed life with pensions and other kinds of insurance. They enjoy better life than young people do.
翠花姐文笔很好，句子写的很简洁流畅，观点也明确，层次也很好。不足的地方是本文着重介绍了年轻人面临的压力，而老年人过的舒服的理由似乎不太充分，我感觉这两方面应该着笔差不多吧。另外有些语法的小错误，可能是笔下误。个人愚见，仅供参考。