9.28作业，同意不同意：一个聪明的朋友比一个幽默的朋友重要

半夏之北UID: 2517498

同意不同意，聪明朋友比幽默的朋友更重要
With the development of society, the relationship among people becomes apartness. Besides our family, our colorful life cannot be lived without our friends. As a result, many people believe, compared with a humorous friend, a friend with intelligence is more vital. As the individuals can learn more from their smart friends and their smart friends may help them in many aspects, I agree with this statement.

As an old saying in China, ‘He, who lies down with dogs must rise up with flea’. If we have a friend with intelligence, we can learn more from them to improve ourselves. An example could be given, studying with your smart friends, he may help you to solve many math problems and also their effective methods to study could be learned by you. Moreover, they may assist you to view the issue in an all round way in its totality and consider the problem objectively, therefore maybe next time you can find the nature of these phenomenon quickly. In addition, a friend with intelligence may aid you in many aspects. For instance, he can provide you with some wise suggestions such as how to make a decision on whether going to graduate school or searching for a job. Definitely, the most essential one is not he can make the decision for you but the process that he assists you to make the right decision according to your personal situation. To some degree, an intelligence friend is a kind of a teacher sometimes; however, you can talk with him more freely. Additionally, a smart friend will give you confidence when you are disappointed. Because they can assist you to analyze the original reasons of your disappointment and find the methods to solve it.

On the other hand, some people argue that a friend with a sense of humor is more important as they can ease your sorrow when you are frustrated and make your life more colorful. I do agree with this opinion. However, the individuals cannot discuss some serious problems with them such as whether studying finance or law, therefore, they cannot know much about each other which is not the truth of friendship.

To sum up, I believe that a friend with intelligence is more essential to us, although a friend with a sense of humor is still important. As during the process of learning and helping with each other, the individuals can have a deep understanding about each other. Also with their friendship growing, they improve themselves together which is the real friendship.

larcwingUID: 2528204

1# 半夏之北

With the development of society, the relationship among people becomes apartness.（这表达怎么看怎么中式英语，有点生硬。。。） Besides our family, our colorful life cannot be lived without our friends. As a result,（前面两句内容可以成为人们相信聪明朋友比幽默朋友好的理由吗？用As a result不妥吧） many people believe, compared with a humorous friend, a friend with intelligence is more vital. As the individuals can learn more from their smart friends and their smart friends may help them in many aspects（在开头简要点出下文内容，提倡！但总觉得表达得不太符合语言习惯）, I agree with this statement.
6 L4 w0 L$ P! \( j+ Y. M' \
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As an old saying in China, ‘He, who lies down with dogs must rise up with flea’.（名言引得很好，不过，这可不是中国的谚语，这是纯正的西方谚语啊，美国人很熟悉的，有名著典故的） If we have a friend with intelligence, we can learn more from them to improve ourselves. An example could be given, studying with your smart friends, he may help you to solve many math problems and also their effective methods to study could be learned by you.（这句偷换了主语，从句studying的默认主语是你自己，而主句的主语却是he，同一句中主语在后面还变成了their methods，这是很基本的语法错误，老外会看不懂的） Moreover, they may assist you to view the issue in an all round way in its totality and consider the problem objectively, therefore maybe next time you can find the nature of these phenomenon quickly.（表达太中式了，造成理解困难） In addition, a friend with intelligence may aid you in many aspects.（这不是你的第二个分论点吗？应该另起一段了吧？） For instance, he can provide you with some wise suggestions such as how to make a decision on whether going to graduate school or searching for a job. Definitely, the most essential one is not he can make the decision for you but the process that he assists you to make the right decision according to your personal situation. To some degree, an intelligence friend is a kind of a teacher sometimes; however, you can talk with him more freely. Additionally, a smart friend will give you confidence when you are disappointed. Because they can assist you to analyze the original reasons of your disappointment and find the methods to solve it.（其实你的两个分论点分得并不明确，说了说去就混杂了，你觉得呢？）

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On the other hand, some people argue that a friend with a sense of humor is more important as they can ease your sorrow when you are frustrated and make your life more colorful. I do agree with this opinion. However, the individuals cannot discuss some serious problems with them such as whether studying finance or law, therefore, they cannot know much about each other which is not the truth of friendship.2 z- |. V0 n1 L/ C
（让步的想法很好，但是你的理由不能说服人）

To sum up, I believe that a friend with intelligence is more essential to us, although a friend with a sense of humor is still important. As during the process of learning and helping with each other, the individuals can have a deep understanding about each other. Also with their friendship growing, they improve themselves together which is the real friendship./ U+ `# I6 x& y. E0 c: |/ _7 E' M


有点困了，没有看得很仔细。。。你的表达太中式化了，似乎都是先想中文应该怎么写，再自己去翻译成英文，但是翻译的时候又有点生硬，完全不是按照西方习惯的表达来结构句子，另外语法问题也不少，所以肯定会造成老外理解困难的。建议多看英语文章，学习他们的习惯用法。尽量用英语思维，不要把中文硬翻成英文。

半夏之北UID: 2517498

9.29 是应该放更多的钱在access internet 上，而不是public transportation 同意还是不要?



When it comes to the 21st century, an increasing number of new things appear in our daily life such as internet and many old staff needs to be replaced, therefore a large number of facilities need to be constructed. However the budget of government is limited, they must balance their budget and choose the most valuable one to invest. Someone believes the authorities should put more money on the access to internet than to public transportation. I agree with this statement, as information plays a key role in today's society and using internet will be more effective and efficiency.
Nowadays, the importance of information to the development of society can never be denied. So how to get the information may be the most challenge problem to us. Definitely, internet is our first choice. It is quite convenient for individuals to exchange information by using internet. A plenty of tools can be used such as e-mail and MSN. For example, in business, merchants can talk with their clients online which will be faster and saves a lot of communication fees. When we want to buy something we do not know much about, we can use the searching engine to find the relevant information such as brand, price, where to buy and even we can just book it online .and all of these, we can just do it at home, only clicking the keyboard and mouse. That is the internet. To some degree, I can say we cannot live without internet in many aspects. More specifically, in education which people pay much more attention to, internet still has many advantages. Throughout the internet people can gain knowledge anytime and anywhere they want without restrictions. An example could be given, cyber classrooms appear to provide many useful resources for individuals to choose.

On the other hand, compared with investing more money in public transportation, putting money in the access to internet will be more effective and efficiency. As we know, constructing public transportation is a very complex project. During this construction, many resources such as labor, fixture and cement are needed while building the access to internet does not need. What is more, repairing and building roads are only part of this project. Besides, the government should also buy much new transportation such as buses and subways. We must spend a long time to build a road in order to guarantee its quality so we need to wait for a long time to experience the benefit of the public transportation. However, the access to internet is easy to build, it will only a few hours to make a block of apartment connect with internet.

To sum up, investing more money in the access to internet will be more effective and efficiency to the government. And also, in a certain sense, with the development of internet, it will be positive to maintain the public transportation. As people can finish most of their tasks at home, there is no need for them going out.

半夏之北UID: 2517498

2# larcwing

我每次写作文都是不由自主想的中文在翻译的，我也很苦恼，除了多看范文，还有别的什么办法吗？
我要不要直接多背一些啊，谢谢啦~~~

半夏之北UID: 2517498

9.30
Topic57 some movies are serious, designed to make the audience think. Other movies are designed primarily to amuse and entertain. Which type of movie do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

In modern society, people pay increasing attention to enjoying their leisure time. As the price of going to cinema drops down, it is certainly that watching movies is one of those methods to enjoy spare time. An argument on which kind of movies is better, entertain or serious movie has been raised. It appears very difficult to prefer one to another, because both of them have their own advantages and disadvantages. However, i would prefer entertain movies as it can assist people to release pressure and even can teach people a lot.

To begin with, entertain movies can make people laugh to ease pressure. In today's society, the competition becomes more and more fierce, so people need to relax. Watching entertain movie is a good choice, because some jokes and funny actions in that movie will make the individuals laugh and forget the problems in order to relieve the stress. Furthermore, people can watch entertain movies at home with their family, therefore they will have more time to stay with their family and to experience the power of supporting from your family which can also release your pressure. However, few families watch serious movies together at home because it will make the family feeling less and the atmosphere bad. In addition, for the movie producers, they like entertain movies too, as the result of surveys indicate most people go to the cinema to watch the entertain movie and buy the DVDs of entertain movies. The movies producers will produce more entertain movies to earn more money.

On the other hand, serious movies do make people think and have a deep understanding of some issues such as some documentary and science and education films. However, most of these kinds of films are too boring for people to watch them to the end; therefore the education function of serious movies is difficult to be reached. Obviously, some excellent entertain movies also can teach people a lot. For example, Charlie Chaplin who is a famous comedian can always tell audience some facts of this society and some principles with bringing happiness to audience together, although most of his famous movies are soundless.

In conclusion, as entertain movies can bring audience more laugh and help them to relieve their pressure, I prefer entertain movies to serious movies. It does not mean all the entertain movies are excellent; we still hope more and more positive entertain movies which can make people with teaching us a lot can appear.

fish1044UID: 2190500

In modern society, people pay increasing attention to enjoying their leisure time. As the price of going to cinema(Movie tickets) drops down, it is certainly that watching movies is one of those methods to enjoy spare time. An argument on which kind of movies is better, entertain or serious movie(,) has been raised. It appears to be very difficult to prefer one to another, because both of them have their own advantages and disadvantages. However, i would prefer entertain movies as it can assist people to release pressure and even can(不需要) teach people a lot.7 R) p: M! p! p. c


To begin with, entertain movies can make people laugh to ease pressure. In today's society, the competition becomes more and more fierce, so people need to relax. Watching entertain movie is a good choice, because some jokes and funny actions in that movie will make the individuals laugh and forget the problems in order to relieve the stress(有点多余). Furthermore, people can watch entertain movies at home with their family, therefore they will have more time to stay with their family and to experience the power of supporting from your family which can also release your pressure.(这个理由。。。好像有点牵强) However, few families watch serious movies together at home because it will make the family feeling less and the atmosphere bad. In addition, for the movie producers, they like entertain movies too, as the result of surveys indicate most people go to the cinema to watch the entertain movie and buy the DVDs of entertain movies. The movies producers will produce more entertain movies to earn more money.



On the other hand, serious movies do make people think and have a deep understanding of some issues such as some documentary and science and education films. However, most of these kinds of films are too boring for people to watch them to the end; therefore the education function of serious movies is difficult to be reached. Obviously, some excellent entertain movies also can(can also) teach people a lot. For example, Charlie Chaplin who is a famous comedian can always tell audience some facts of this society and some principles with bringing happiness to audience together, although most of his famous movies are soundless.1 `2 d/ l5 Z! p, D3 l- T
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    In conclusion, as entertain movies can bring audience more laugh and help them to relieve their pressure, I prefer entertain movies to serious movies. It does not mean all the entertain movies are excellent; we still hope more and more positive entertain movies which can make people with teaching us a lot can appear.

文章写的不错，就是中间有几个理由不是太充分。我也有这个问题。。。

spyUID: 2295035

9.29
不好意思，之前没有找到链接

When it comes to the 21st century, an increasing number of new things appear in our daily life such as internet and many old staff needs to be replaced, therefore a large number of facilities need to be constructed. However the budget of government is limited, they must balance their budget and choose the most valuable one to invest. Someone believes the authorities should put more money on the access to internet than to public transportation. I agree with this statement, as information plays a key role in today's society and using internet will be more effective and efficiency(efficient)两个意思好像有点重复.

Nowadays, the importance of information to the development of society can never be denied. So how to get the information may be the most challenge problem to us. Definitely, internet is our first choice. It is quite convenient for individuals to exchange information by using internet. A plenty of tools can be used such as e-mail and MSN. For example, in business, merchants can talk with their clients online which will be faster and saves（save？） a lot of communication fees. When we want to buy something we do not know much about, we can use the searching engine to find the relevant information such as brand, price, where to buy and even we can just book it online .and all of these, we can just do it at home, only clicking the keyboard and mouse. That is the internet. To some degree, I can say we cannot live without internet in many aspects. More specifically, in education which people pay much more attention to, internet still has many advantages. Throughout the internet people can gain knowledge anytime and anywhere they want without restrictions. An example could be given, cyber classrooms appear to provide many useful resources for individuals to choose.

On the other hand（on the other hand有对比和转折的意思，用在这里不太好）, compared with investing more money in public transportation, putting money in the access to internet will be more effective and efficiency. As we know, constructing public transportation is a very complex project. During this construction, many resources such as labor, fixture and cement are needed while building the access to internet does not need. What is more, repairing and building roads are only part of this project. Besides, the government should also buy much new transportation such as buses and subways. We must spend a long time to build a road in order to guarantee its quality so we need to wait for a long time to experience the benefit of the public transportation. However, the access to internet is easy to build, it will （take）only a few hours to make a block of apartment connect with internet.

To sum up, investing more money in the access to internet will be more effective and efficiency to the government. And also, in a certain sense, with the development of internet, it will be positive to maintain the public transportation. As people can finish most of their tasks at home, there is no need for them going out.

第二个理由不够充分，可以再延伸点。复杂句用了不少，不过有些句子有些语法问题。整体还是不错的，加油！

sharamandeUID: 2597186

1# 半夏之北
不好意思，这个是28号的作业点评，实在抱歉了

With the development of society, the relationship among people becomes apartness(首先，开头来这么一句感觉好像没什么道理，再者，become后面一般跟形容词，所以用apart合适些). Besides our family, our colorful life cannot be lived without our friends(这一句跟第一句完全没有什么关联). As a result(不妥，前面两句不能充当理由), many people believe,(用that引导从句就行，不用,分隔) compared with a humorous friend, a friend with intelligence is more vital. As the individuals can learn more from their smart friends and their smart friends may help them in many aspects, I agree with this statement.

As an old saying (goes) in China(不加in China也行), ‘He, who lies down with dogs must rise up with flea’(新学到一个谚语，呵呵). If we have a friend with intelligence, we can learn more(不用more) from them to improve ourselves. An example could be given,(缺少that引导从句) studying with your smart friends, he may help you to solve many math problems and also their effective methods to study could be learned by you. Moreover, they may assist you to view the issue in an all round way in its totality and consider the problem objectively(我没太理解), therefore maybe next time you can find the nature of these phenomenon(应用复数) quickly. (分段)In addition, a friend with intelligence may aid you in many aspects. For instance, he can provide you with some wise suggestions such as how to make a decision on whether going to graduate school or searching for a job. Definitely, the most essential one(用thing) is not he can make the decision for you but the process that he assists you to make(assist in doing) the right decision according to your personal situation. To some degree, an intelligence friend is a kind of a teacher sometimes; however, you can talk with him more freely. Additionally, a smart friend will give you confidence when you are disappointed. Because they can assist you to analyze the original reasons of your disappointment and find the methods to solve it(只有because，这一句话不完整).


On the other hand, some people argue that a friend with a sense of humor is more important as they can ease your sorrow when you are frustrated and make your life more colorful. I do agree with this opinion. However, the individuals cannot discuss some serious problems with them such as whether studying finance or law, therefore, they cannot know much about each other which is not the truth of friendship.(这一段没什么道理，你错误假设了幽默的人就肤浅，不聪明没内涵，显然不对)


To sum up, I believe that a friend with intelligence is more essential to us, although a friend with a sense of humor is still important. As during the process of learning and helping with each other, the individuals can have a deep understanding about each other(as单独引导了一句话？). Also with their friendship growing, they improve themselves together which is the real friendship(没理解后半句什么意思，表达有问题).

通篇对于聪明的朋友只有一个表述，就是friend with intelligence，应该适当的换换说法，就比如intelligent friends也好呀~
句子问题挺多的，建议写完之后再自己读一读检查下。

larcwingUID: 2528204

9.30 评晚了不好意思~
In modern society, people pay increasing attention to enjoying their leisure time. As the price of going to cinema drops down, it is certainly that watching movies is one of those efficient methods to enjoy spare time. An argument on which kind of movies is better, entertain or serious movie(ones，避免重复) has been raised.（其实题目是问你的prefer，跟这样的讨论没什么关系的吧，我觉得直接写后面一句就足够了，而且最好加个for me，可以显得更加personal，这才是老外喜欢的） It appears very difficult to prefer one to another, because both of them have their own advantages and disadvantages. However（however表示大转折，不要随便用，这里我觉得用in most case比较好些, i would prefer entertain movies as it can assist people to release pressure and even can teach people a lot.

To begin with, entertain movies can make people laugh to ease pressure. In today's society, the competition becomes more and more fierce, so people need to relax. Watching entertain movie is a good choice, because some jokes and funny actions in that movie will make the individuals laugh and forget the problems in order to relieve the stress. Furthermore, people can watch entertain movies at home with their family, therefore they will have more time to stay with their family and to experience the power of supporting from your family which can also release your pressure. However, few families watch serious movies together at home because it will make the family feeling less and the atmosphere bad.（这里说了这么多general的东西，其实效果可能还没有给一个personal的例子来得更有说服力~别忘了尽管中国人喜欢讲大道理，老外却最喜欢以事实说话） In addition, for the movie producers, they like entertain movies too, as the result of surveys indicate most people go to the cinema to watch the entertain movie and buy the DVDs of entertain movies. The movies producers will produce more entertain movies to earn more money.（这个in addition的内容跟这段TS完全无关啊，是另一个理由了，是不是应该另起一段？）

On the other hand, serious movies do make people think and have a deep understanding of some issues such as some documentary and science and education films（从习惯上来说such as后面要举应该是有哪些issue的例子，你举的却是电影类型。。。按后文的意思，你是想表达像这些电影一样，那么在films后面应该加个do，这很关键，整个意思就不一样了，不过从习惯上来说such as还是不能这样用such as的，可以换成issues which usually be discussed in other films such as...）. However, most of these kinds of films are too boring for people to watch them to(till) the end; therefore the educational function of serious movies is difficult to be reached.（这句写得好！也非常起作用！不过function和reach搭配，这个我就有点不太确定了） Obviously（这前面可以放个转折的，比如Otherwise）, some excellent entertain movies also can teach people a lot. For example, Charlie Chaplin who is a famous comedian can always tell audience some facts of this society and some principles with(while) bringing happiness to audience together, although(even) most of his famous movies are soundless.

In conclusion, as entertain movies can bring audience more laugh and help them to relieve their pressure, I prefer entertain movies to serious movies. It does not mean all the entertain movies are excellent; we still hope more and more positive entertain movies which can make people with teaching us a lot can appear.

总体来说功底是不错的，这次比上次用语言方面好了很多，没有那么多不地道的表达了，有进步！但是关于理由论证方面，还需要加强！
（哦，一般我红色表示改语言错误，蓝色表示跟文章结构内容有关的改动或建议）

半夏之北UID: 2517498

10.14
Do you agree or disagree: It was easier to make a success in the past than people now

Everyone wants to succeed in something, as success means a lot people such as reputation, position and money. So people in modern society pay more attention to how to get success. Someone argues that it is more difficult to make a success now than people in the past. However, in my opinion, I don not agree the statement. I believe that which age people are in cannot decide whether it will be easier to get success or not. Reasons are given as follows.

It is universally known that both external factors and internal factors contribute to being success, not lacking of any of them. In addition, internal factors will play a more essential role in being success. Internal factors such as hard-working, experience and interpersonal skills are not affected by age which people are in. That is to say, no matter what age people are in, they must try their best and be diligent to gain positive internal factors. For instance, at college, people should put their heart into studying and absorb professional knowledge as much as they can to make a steady basis of entering into working environment. Moreover, when people are at the threshold of working, they also need to obtain experience and learn how to handle the relationship with their colleagues which will be very different from what they met at college. These all above, which have nothing to do with what age they are in, are very necessary to people who want to be successful

Furthermore, external factors in total will be the same in every age to the individuals in that age. Someone will argue that with the increasing number of population, being success will be more difficult as the number of competitors people will meet is going up too. Obviously it is true. However, we must take the difference between facilities now and in the past into consideration. It is certainly that present facilities are more advanced than those in the past. In other words, in the past, people had fewer competitors but the facilities offered to them are out-dated comparing with modern facilities. Accordingly, in total, external factors of different age are similar to the individuals in that age.

To sum up, as far as I concerned, no matter what age the individuals are in, the difficulty of being success is the same. The internal factors are the most vital one for the individuals to get success. Consequently, if someone who wants to be successful, he or she must concentrate on developing their internal quality as the external factors are almost similar to everyone.

半夏之北UID: 2517498

10.15
10.15 教师是否应该获得跟doctors,lawyers,business leaders一样的收入
同意
Function influence  encourage
Skills  comtribution


It is universal known that children are our future; therefore education attracts an increasing attention from people. Obviously, teachers play an essential role in education, so someone argues that the salary of teachers should be the same as lawyers’, doctors' and business leaders’. In my opinion, I agree with this statement .Reasons are given as follows.

To begin with, it is clearly that the function and influence of teachers cannot be replaced by any other people. At school, teachers help students to learn knowledge and teach them how to study. With the development of society, the importance of teachers is increasing as the time when students are together with their teachers is going up. Some students even regard their teachers as their ‘another mother’ .The function of teachers, especially leading students to become a good person, becomes much more significant. For example, teachers can put correct value and perspective to children. When students meet some problems, teacher can talk with them and tell them what the beneficial method to solve this problem is. Moreover, with the respect to conveying knowledge, to some degree, teachers can make lawyers, doctors and business leaders as what these people learn is just from their teachers and their successful career can partly attribute to their teachers too. In addition, teachers have a strong influence on their students since their students will imitate their behaviors. For instance, a teacher like to wear fashion clothes, so may be some of her students will do just like her .what is more, a math like to use a certain way to calculate numbers, maybe his students trend to do this too.

Furthermore, it is not denying that teachers make a big contribution to society and have some professional skills. Society provide a high salary to lawyers ,doctors and business leaders owing to the reason that they have some special skills which others do not have and they make a contribution to society. It is clearly that not everyone can talk before a large number of people for almost one hour with a clear and logical order; therefore teachers also have professional skills. In terms of the contribution to society, teachers are the people who are not selfish at all due to the reason that they teach all what they know to their students. And these students will devote themselves to developing society in every field.

To sum up, as the function and influence of teachers and contribution teachers make to society, we need to pay them the same salary as lawyers, doctors and business leaders in order to encourage them to set a positive example to the students and nurture more capable students for society.

如是_ivyUID: 2704554

It is universal known that children are our future; therefore education attracts an increasing attention from people. Obviously, teachers play an essential role in education, so someone argues that the salary of teachers should be the same as lawyers’, doctors' and business leaders’. In my opinion, I agree with this statement .Reasons are given as follows.
To begin with, it is clearly that the function and influence of teachers cannot be replaced by any other people. At school, teachers help students to learn knowledge and teach them how to study. With the development of society, the importance of teachers is increasing as the time when students are together with their teachers is going up. Some students even regard their teachers as their ‘another mother’ .The function of teachers, especially leading students to become a good person, becomes much more significant. For example, teachers can put correct value and perspective to children. When students meet some problems, teacher can talk with them and虽然我明白你大致是想表达可以和学生谈心之类的意思，但是仍然建议你把talk with them删了。毕竟后面有tell them了，这里还写而且连着and觉得有点冗繁 tell them what the beneficial method to solve this problem is. Moreover, with the respect to conveying knowledge, to some degree, teachers can make lawyers, doctors and business leaders as what these people learn is just from their teachers and their successful career can partly attribute to their teachers too.（建议跟前面断开，然后重新建逻辑关系写句子。比如，After all， all of them are learn from their teachers. In  a certain degree, their successful career can partly attribute to their teachers.只是一点建议啊。觉得一个句子拖太长又没有很强的逻辑联系的话，不如断开，写短句，加逻辑连词。 ） In addition, teachers have a strong influence on their students since their students will imitate their behaviors. For instance, a teacher like to wear fashion clothes, so may be （maybe）some of her students will do just like her .what is（大写。还有这里可以分开么？我之前看到的都是What's more.我也不确定是不是可以写成 what is more more, a math like to use a certain way to calculate numbers, maybe his students trend to do this too. 用类比很好。但是我没有看懂，二者的关系。羞愧啊:L这一段除了一句提到lawyer之外，主要在证老师需要给他高工资，他deserve 高工资。但是觉得少了点比较。

Furthermore, it is not denying是这么用的么？我每次都写的是we cannot deny.用it作形式主语的话貌似是it cannot be denied之类的吧 that teachers make a big contribution to society and have some professional skills. Society provide a high salary to lawyers ,doctors and business leaders owing to the reason that they have some special skills which others do not have and they make a contribution to society建议换下词还有不建议前面skills那里用定语从句，因为你后面还有一喝they并列的同位语从句。建议把那个which从句换成exclusively试一下。. It is clearly that not everyone can talk before a large number of people for almost one hour with a clear and logical order; therefore teachers also have professional skills.老师的special skills是一个多小时清晰而有逻辑的讲课？我觉得你还不如做个对比，有的人可以做出很先进的研究和发明，但是不一定能够做一位老师。一位老师就是能深入浅出的讲述知识，让一个脑袋里本是一片空白的孩子，变成知识渊博的人才。 In terms of the contribution to society, teachers are the people who are not selfish at all due to the reason （due to the reason？重了。due to 就可以了吧）that they teach all what they know to their students. And these students will devote themselves to developing society in every field. 还是觉得缺比较。而且第二点说的太少了。

To sum up, as the function and influence of teachers and contribution teachers make to society, we need to pay them the same salary as lawyers, doctors and business leaders in order to encourage them to set a positive example to the students and nurture more capable students for society.

总的来说，觉得论证老师应该高薪很充分，再加点对比就更好了。
其次，觉得句子可以再改进一下。觉得写得有些随意了。还有就是多加点副词和逻辑连词吧。the more the better

paddyhyUID: 202095

It is universal known that children are our future; therefore education attracts an increasing attention from the public. Obviously, teachers play an essential role in education, so someone argues that the salary of teachers should be the same as lawyers’, doctors' and business leaders’. In my opinion, I agree with this statement .Reasons are given as follows. ( k9 |( V& C: B4 J
4 w" I, R3 c  A4 o+ g
To begin with, it is clearly that the function and influence of teachers cannot be replaced by any other people. At school, teachers help students to learn knowledge and teach them how to study改成强调句呢It is the teacher that teach student the skills and methods to . With the development of society,不缺字数这样的话可以省略了吧 the importance of teachers is increasing as the time when students are together with their teachers is going up. The importance of teacher have been increasing, same
as their time with students.

Some students even regard their teachers as their ‘another mother’ .The function of teachers, especially leading students to become a good person, becomes much more significant. For example, teachers can put/show correct value and perspective to children. When students meet /face some problems, teacher can talk with them and figure out
the beneficial method together with their students. Moreover, with the respect to conveying knowledge, to some degree, teachers can make/改成cultivate lawyers, doctors and business leaders as what these people learn is just from their teachers and their successful career can partly attribute to their teachers’ work too. In addition, teachers have a strong influence on their students since their students will imitate their behaviors. For instance, a teacher like to wear fashion clothes, so may be some of her students will do just like her .what is more, a math teacher like to use a certain way to calculate numbers, maybe his students trend to do this too. ) H1 h  f4 ?  t) ~

Furthermore, it is not denying that/nobody can deny that teachers make a big contribution to society and have some professional skills. Society provide a high salary to lawyers ,doctors and business leaders owing to the reason that they have some special skills which others do not have and they make a /special contribution to society. It is clearly that not everyone can talk before a large number of people for almost one hour with a clear and logical order; therefore teachers also have professional skills. In terms of the contribution to society, teachers are the people who are not selfish at all due to the reason that they teach all what they know to their students. And these students will devote themselves to developing society in every field.这里感觉好像不怎么明白。。句子简短有力好。。我也知道不过做起来就难啊


To sum up, as the function and influence of teachers and contribution teachers make to society, we need to pay them the same salary as lawyers, doctors and business leaders in order to encourage them to set a positive example to the students and nurture more capable students for society.最后一句值得我学习

如是_ivyUID: 2704554

咦？半夏之北，你好像米有帮我改作文呢~~:loveliness:

半夏之北UID: 2517498

10.16 years from now, people will have more leisure time

When it comes to 21st century, expanding number of advanced transportation and entertainment facilities appear, due to the development of society. Some people pay more attention to leisure time that modern people have .and some of them believes that years from now on, people will have more and more leisure time as they can work more effectively and enjoy a better life depending on advanced matericals. As far as I concerned think this statement is too positive .in addition think people will have less leisure time with time passing by. Reasons are as follows.
To begin with, competition will make people have less leisure time. It is universal that   the number of population is increasing all the time owing to the development of technology and medicine care ,therefore   competition  becomes severely fierce .without choice ,modern people should spend more time on working or related issues in order to keep their positions in society, so their leisure time will be dropped down. For instance, increasing number of accountants spend their leisure time in sitting in exams in order to get a valuable certificate. Because there are so many people who are studying accounting, only one thing that can make you stand out is a valuable certificate. In order to obtain this, accountants have to scarify their leisure time such as weekends and nights to preparing exams such as CPA or ACCA.
Furthermore, there are so many things we cannot predict, therefore, many people make preparation for the further which also decrease their leisure time. For example, during the economical recession in 2008, many companies bankrupted or lay off many employees. Obviously，the leader of the company will take the employee’s diligence, certificate and achievements into consideration. Employees who have those features will not be replaced. However, think about why can they have these features? Someone said that no pains, no gains. It is certainly that employees like them will put their heart into their working which astutely cost their much more leisure time. That is to say, what they did besides their normal working hours helps them to keep their positions in company. More and more people have this consciousness now, they are willing to sacrifice their leisure time to make preparation for the further unpredictable events.
To sum up, in my opinion, I believe that due to the increasingly fierce competition and more preparations for the further, modern people need to sacrifice their leisure time to avoid to be replaced