欢迎互改【10.4 美利坚作文小组】clothing rules

2009toefl10UID: 2706590

Agree or disagree: it is important to havethe rules about the types of clothing that people are allowed to work andschool


I agree with the author that it is good tohave a rule on the types of clothing to work and school most of the time. Thestyle of clothing does affect people's mood and behavior. And so, it is aremarkable element for effective working and education.

In elementary schools and high schools,such rule has been widely implemented nowadays and it is admitted to be usefulin effective education. The phenomenon can be explained like this: the studentsdon't have occupation income and are too young to make decision on clothingconsumption, and the main duty of them is to study courses. To let them focuson their study, and to prevent comparing clothing with each other as adiversion of attention, it is an effective way implementing a rule on dressing.

For students of higher education, however,the above-mentioned policy is not necessary because a university, or a college,is a place for differentiation. Students enroll in, and then select differentdirections as their future careers and prepare for them. Even a crowd ofstudents sitting in the same classroom and studying the same course, can beabsorbing different knowledge from the same teacher. Take a music theory classfor example--a student interested in rock-and-roll music is likely to dress differentlyfrom a student who has chosen opera performance as his career. As a reflectionof people's diverse attitudes, it is better not to discipline the clothing inuniversities and colleges.

In the situation of working, such rulebecomes seasonable again. Despite the effect of attention absorbing, the policyof uniform clothing gives the staff of the same company a sense ofcommunity--like fishes move in a shoal and birds migrate in a flock. The senseof belonging is contributive to every company in effective operating. Beside,it can display the cooperation culture of the company better in front of itscustomers and may be helpful in bringing more trust and orders.

Actually, in a situation that needscooperation, people are tend to dress similarly even when they are notcommended to obey a certain rule. Look into the history and find the clothingof the early form of self-defense armies, go to a ball and see the clothing ofthe guests, or stop by a street basketball game and tell the two teams apart bytheir clothing--you can find many examples supporting my opinion. Such behavioris involuntary and can be one of the bases for establishing and implementingthe rule about the style of clothing in school or at work.

In conclusion, in my view, on one hand, Iagree with the author that the rule about clothing style in schools for primaryeducation and at work is necessary. On the other hand, I believe that forstates in which individual differences emphasized, such policy should betternot be instituted.

120 mins @@ 第一次练习……超时1.5 hrs

kimtopUID: 2375291

Agree or disagree: it is important to havethe rules about the types of clothing that people are allowed to work andschool
  n+ s/ Q2 R) ^) }0 I! U7 N
  V: T6 [3 h+ \6 f4 n2 L
I agree with the author that it is good tohave a rule on the types of clothing to work and school most of the time. Thestyle of clothing does affect people's mood and behavior. And so, it is a remarkable element for effective working and education./ Q) t& P+ z. N) r' E

In elementary schools and high schools,such rule has been widely implemented nowadays and it is admitted to be useful in effective education. The phenomenon can be explained like this: the students　don't have occupation income and are too young to make decision on clothing　consumption, and the main duty of them is to study courses(studying).(建议把这个长句子分成两句) To let them focus on their study, and to prevent comparing clothing with each other as adiversion of attention（去掉，或者改成which is a adiversion of attention）, it is an effective way implementing a rule on dressing.

For students of higher education, however,the above-mentioned policy is not necessary because a university, or a college,is a place for differentiation(where appreciates diversity更好). Students enroll in,（逗号不要） and then select different directions(subjects) as their future careers and prepare for them (改成for the preparation of future careers）. Even(去掉) a crowd ofstudents sitting in the same classroom and studying the same course, can beabsorbing（absorb就ｏｋ了） different knowledges from the same teacher. Take a去掉music theory class for example--a student interested in rock-and-roll music is likely to dress differently　from（with吧） a student who has chosen opera performance as his career. As a reflection　of people's diverse attitudes, it is better not to discipline the clothing in universities and colleges.

In the situation of working, such rule becomes seasonable again. Despite the effect of attention absorbing, the policy of uniform clothing gives the staff of the same company a sense of community--like fishes move in a shoal and birds migrate in a flock. The sense of belonging is contributive to every company in effective operating. Besides,it can display the cooperation culture of the company better(放到ｄｉｓｐｌａｙ前) in front of it s　customers and may be helpful in bringing more trust and orders.% l; U$ d$ r: G. n9 ?; r
9 O" y- |/ }& e* e4 O
Actually, in a situation that needs　cooperation, people are tend to dress similarly even when they are not　commanded to obey a certain rule. Look into the history and find(look at吧) the clothing of the early form of self-defense armies, go to a ball and see the clothing of the guests, or stop by a street basketball game and tell the two teams apart bytheir clothing--you can find(该换词了　比如obtain)　many examples supporting my opinion. Such behavioris involuntary and can be one of the bases for establishing and implementing　the rule about the style of clothing in school or at work.4 z0 R) a7 `% r! Y3 M$ @9 S

In conclusion, in my view, on one hand, (状语太多...in my view建议去掉，已经ｉａｇｒｅｅ了)I agree with the author that the rule about clothing style in schools for primary education and at work is necessary. On the other hand, I believe that for　states in which（where更好吧） individual differences is emphasized, such policy should better not be instituted.: I6 _! [2 r) j) \4 t2 c# u' F
& @# b) R2 O+ H. O9 A2 l+ L
120 mins @@ 第一次练习……超时1.5 hrs

kimtopUID: 2375291

https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1013851-1-1.html 欢迎互改

joyceliuUID: 2477232

I agree with the author that it is good tohave a rule on the types ofclothing to work and school most of the time. Thestyle of clothing doesaffect people's mood and behavior. And so, it is aremarkable elementfor effective working and education.
. a  _+ H4 j8 M , _9 B8 v) [( X+ w
In elementary schools and high schools,such rule has been widelyimplemented nowadays and it is admitted to be usefulin effectiveeducation. The phenomenon can be explained like this: the studentsdon'thave occupation income and are too young to make right decision onclothing consumption,  and(what is more) the main duty of them is to study courses. Tolet(help)them focuson their study, and to prevent comparing clothing witheach other as adiversion of attention( a distraction from the school work), it is an effective wayimplementing a rule on dressing.
* J3 t8 c6 M: G9 P & H1 Z5 V8 j1 I, V
For students of higher education, however,the above-mentioned policy isnot necessary because a university, or a college,is a place fordifferentiation. Students enroll in, and then selectdifferentdirections as their future careers and prepare for them. Evena crowd ofstudents sitting in the same classroom and studying the samecourse, can beabsorbing different knowledge from the same teacher. Takea music theory classfor example--a student interested in rock-and-rollmusic is likely to dress differentlyfrom a student who has chosen operaperformance as his career. As a reflectionof people's diverseattitudes, it is better not to discipline the clothing inuniversitiesand colleges.
! K1 |1 y" i9 V+ m% y% s 3 i  ]( X% ~& ]
In the situation of working, such rulebecomes seasonable again. Despitethe effect of attention absorbing, the policyof uniform clothing givesthe staff of the same company a sense ofcommunity--like fishes move ina shoal and birds migrate in a flock. The senseof belonging iscontributive to every company in effective operating. Beside(besides), it candisplay the cooperation culture of the company better in front ofitscustomers and may be helpful in bringing more trust and orders.. Z0 N8 k" n+ j

" p7 g/ x, {6 ~6 W; k! ^- EActually,in a situation that needscooperation, people are tend to dresssimilarly even when they are notcommended to obey a certain rule. Lookinto the history and find the clothingof the early form of self-defensearmies, go to a ball and see the clothing ofthe guests, or stop by astreet basketball game and tell the two teams apart bytheirclothing--you can find many examples supporting my opinion. Suchbehavioris involuntary and can be one of the bases for establishing andimplementingthe rule about the style of clothing in school or at work.
% }* p# Y  Q: E: N) W 5 G) F! }7 @3 ~! f! I; T
In conclusion, in my view, on one hand, Iagree with the author that therule about clothing style in schools for primaryeducation and at workis necessary. On the other hand, I believe that forstates in whichindividual differences emphasized, such policy should betternot beinstituted.
论证结构似乎是正负正负，是不是可以调整一下顺序为正正负，或是正正负负，语言很流畅，举例也很到位

LRXSSUID: 2695903

color=Red]写的超时间太多了
Agree or disagree: it is important to havethe rules about the types of clothing that people are allowed to work and school.
I agree with the author that it is good tohave a rule on the types of clothing to work and school most of the time. The style of clothing does affect people's mood and behavior. And so, it is a remarkable element for effective working and education.
In elementary schools and high schools,such rule has been widely implemented nowadays and it is admitted to be useful in effective education. The phenomenon can be explained like this: the studentsdon't have occupation income and are too young to make decision on clothing consumption, and the main duty of them is to study courses. To let them focus on their study, and to prevent comparing clothing with each other as adiversion of attention  那个单词写错了 , it is an effective way implementing a rule on dressing.
For students of higher education, however,the above-mentioned policy is not necessary because a university, or a college,is a place for differentiation. Students enroll in, and then select differentdirections as their future careers and prepare for them. Even a crowd ofstudents sitting in the same classroom and studying the same course, can beabsorbing different knowledge from the same teacher. Take a music theory classfor example--a student interested in rock-and-roll music is likely to dress differentlyfrom a student who has chosen opera performance as his career. As a reflectionof people's diverse attitudes, it is better not to discipline the clothing inuniversities and colleges.
In the situation of working, such rulebecomes seasonable  reasonnable again. Despite the effect of attention absorbing, the policyof uniform clothing gives the staff of the same company a sense of  community--like fishes move in a shoal and birds migrate in a flock 候鸟迁徙 感觉不恰当 . The senseof belonging is contributive to every company in effective operating. Beside besides,it can display the cooperation culture of the company better in front of itscustomers and may be helpful in bringing more trust and orders.
Actually, in a situation that needscooperation, people are tend to dress similarly even when they are notcommended to obey a certain rule. Look into the history and find the clothingof the early form of self-defense armies, go to a ball hall and see the clothing ofthe guests, or stop by a street basketball game and tell the two teams apart bytheir clothing--you can find many examples supporting my opinion. Such behavioris involuntary and can be one of the bases for establishing and implementingthe rule about the style of clothing in school or at work.
In conclusion, in my view, on one hand, Iagree with the author that the rule about clothing style in schools for primaryeducation and at work is necessary. On the other hand, I believe that forstates  in which individual differences emphasized, such policy should betternot be instituted.

color=Red]内容丰富  理由充分  逻辑性强   但是写的超时间太多了

doubledianUID: 2661760

欢迎互改【10.4 美利坚作文小组】clothing rules
Agree or disagree: it is important to have the rules about the types of clothing that people are allowed to work andschool4 a2 d& R' n5 g4 e2 K  B

! P! C" _1 E. p' B+ ]/ q. \
I agree with the author that it is good to have a rule on the types of clothing to work and school most of the time. The style of clothing does affect people's mood and behavior. And so,（这个逗号总感觉加的不顺） it is a remarkable element for effective working and education.
   o2 M. b: W2 ~# t
In elementary schools and high schools, such rule has been widely implemented nowadays and it is admitted to be useful in effective education. The phenomenon can be explained like this: the students don't have occupation income and are too young to make decision on clothing consumption, and the main duty of them is to study courses. To let them focus on their study, and to prevent comparing clothing with each other as adiversion （这个是a diversion吗？）Of attention, it is an effective way implementing a rule on dressing." R% A, {' _& ]- @( d+ O

For students of higher education, however, the above-mentioned policy is not necessary because a university, or a college, is a place for differentiation. Students enroll in, and then select different directions as their future careers and prepare for them. Even a crowd of students sitting in the same classroom and studying the same course, can beabsorbing（需要加ing吗？） different knowledge from the same teacher. Take a（这个应该去掉吧） music theory classfor example--a student interested in rock-and-roll music is likely to dress differentlyfrom a student who has chosen opera performance as his career. As a reflectionof people's diverse attitudes, it is better not to discipline the clothing inuniversities and colleges.+ y1 m* B2 e$ u; F& I  U6 Q) A' s* Y6 f
8 R3 l2 d# c2 _  V4 R( y# q- E, h& G
In the situation of working, such rulebecomes seasonable again. Despite the effect of attention absorbing, the policyof uniform clothing gives the staff of the same company a sense ofcommunity--like fishes move in a shoal and birds migrate in a flock. The senseof belonging is contributive to every company in effective operating. Beside,it can display the cooperation culture of the company better in front of itscustomers and may be helpful in bringing more trust and orders.% W' b1 S9 {$ a: [& ^5 q* Y
4 o% O) G( \& |# \0 g' w
Actually, in a situation that needscooperation, people are tend to dress similarly even when they are notcommended to obey a certain rule. Look into the history and find the clothingof the early form of self-defense armies, go to a ball and see the clothing ofthe guests, or stop by a street basketball game and tell the two teams apart bytheir clothing--you can find many examples supporting my opinion. Such behavioris（拼写有问题） involuntary and can be one of the bases for establishing and implementingthe rule about the style of clothing in school or at work.$ a2 {4 ?' ?  D" [( j& l$ H

In conclusion, in my view, on one hand, Iagree with the author that the rule about clothing style in schools for primaryeducation and at work is necessary. On the other hand, I believe that forstates in which individual differences emphasized, such policy should betternot be instituted.& Y. M# |* @7 C& O; w
字数好多啊，快600啦，整体感觉观点鲜明，高级词汇用得也不少，你跟joyceliu犯同样的毛病，比如implementingthe这是两个词，中间应该加空格嘛，你们俩总是打一块，我也不知道这个会不会对成绩有影响，但是还是注意点，文章写的很好，我本身自己写的作文就很差，所以也没有办法给你改得十全十美，希望能谅解

2009toefl10UID: 2706590

1# 2009toefl10

修改了：
LRXSS的https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1013769&extra=
doubledian的https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1013690&extra=
joyceliu的https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1013791&extra=
kimtop的https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1013851-1-1.html