10.16作业（进军美利坚）

joyceliuUID: 2477232

In the recent years, there is a generalcontroversy over the issue that whether people will have more leisure time inlater years. Although some people may claim that it is impossible to have somuch relaxation since there are large amounts of work to do, personally, Iprefer to support that in the future, people could relax themselves more thannow and I will provide concrete evidences to demonstrate my point of view.

First and foremost, there is no denyingthat as time goes by, people will pay more attention on their healthy conditionand give more time to entertain themselves rather than just work hard. It isuniversally acknowledged that along with the rapid development of technology,modern populace are also confronting with numerous pressures both from theirworkplace and daily life. At the same time, a growing number of people aresuffering from some pressure-related diseases, which become the main killer ofhuman survives. Therefore, people began to reconsider their behaviors as wellas living styles. As a result, most of them adopt a more scientific method tolive that is take relax seriously. I am sure that after several years, whenthis new idea is accepted by more people, they will absolutely put moreconcentration on the leisure.

In the second place, the advances oftechnology save us a lot of time, which make it possible to entertain more.Nobody will deny that the advent of technological products to our livesincrease our living efficiency to a large degree. Take doing research as anexample. In the past time, researchers have to spend days or weeks in thelibrary to find useful academic books, most of them are out of date. However,today with the help of internet, this process has become a time-saving one. Aslong as you type the key words on the search bar online, in no second, therewill be hundreds of thousands of relative items appeared on the webpage, youcould choose as your needs. What is more, they are all the lasted informationsince Internet are updated everyday. Accordingly, it is obvious that when ourworking time could reduced, we will definitely use the left time to enjoy ahappy life.

Last but not least, nowadays, there aremore amusements which attract people to spend time on them. For instance, whenwe are free, there are so many choices to amuse ourselves: we can go to themovie theater, listen to a music concert or watch certain sport competition. Wecould travel to other place, go to the museum and so forth.

To sum up, taking into the account of thediscussion mentioned above, we may safely reach the conclusion that it is surethat years after now, people will spend more time on entertainment.

465

DriftKingUID: 2664045

In the recent years, there is a general controversy这个颜色的你不用理会了，是我觉得不错的 over the issue that whether people will have more leisure time in later years. Although some people may claim that it is impossible to have so much relaxation since there are large amounts of work to do, personally, I prefer to support that in the future, people (感觉加上 will have more time to会比较通顺) could relax themselves more than now and I will provide concrete evidences to demonstrate my point of view.

First and foremost, there is no denying that as time goes by, people will pay more attention on their healthy condition and give more time to entertain themselves rather than just(/) work hard. It is universally acknowledged that along with the rapid development of technology,modern populace are also confronting with numerous pressures both from their workplace and daily life. At the same time, a growing number of people are suffering from some pressure-related diseases, which become the main killer of human survives(感觉删掉比较好). Therefore, people began to reconsider their behaviors as well as living styles. As a result, most of them adopt a more scientific method to live that is take relax seriously. I am sure that after several years, when this new idea is accepted by more(more and more) people, they will absolutely put more concentration(pay more concentration/attention) on the leisure. 观点：因为健康问题每况日下，会引起人们对健康的关心，从而改变生活喜欢。有理有据很好。

In the second place, the advances of technology save us a lot of time, which (是不是加个help us) make it possible to entertain more.Nobody尽量避免用这种绝对的词few people就好 will deny that the advent of technological products to our lives（/） increase our living efficiency to a large degree. Take doing research(research就是动词) as an example. In the past time, researchers have to spend ` ？in thelibrary to find useful academic books, most of them are out of date. However,today with the help of internet(Internet), this process has become a time-saving one. Aslong as you type the key words on the search bar online, in no second(太绝对了), therewill be hundreds of thousands of relative items appeared on the webpage, youcould choose as your needs. What is more, they are all the lasted informationsince Internet are updated everyday. Accordingly, it is obvious that when ourworking time could reduced, we will definitely use the left time to enjoy ahappy life.

Last but not least, nowadays, there aremore amusements which attract people to spend time on them. For instance, whenwe are free, there are so many choices to amuse ourselves（这句比较多余）: we can go to themovie theater, listen to a music concert or watch certain sport competition. Wecould travel to other place, go to the museum and so forth.

To sum up, taking into the account of thediscussion mentioned above, we may safely reach the conclusion that it is surethat years after now, people will spend more time on entertainment.

太强了，遣词造句，内容结构都非常好，尤其是副词的用法，显得词汇量很大；后边感觉表达的不当之处会比较多。。。
向你学习

spyUID: 2295035

In the recent years, there is a generalcontroversy over the issue that whether people will have more leisure time inlater years. Although some people may claim that it is impossible to have somuch relaxation since there are large amounts of work to do, personally, Iprefer to support that in the future, people could relax themselves more thannow and I will provide concrete evidences to demonstrate my point of view.(论点句不够紧密，relax more并不意味着more leisure time)

First and foremost, there is no denyingthat as time goes by, people will pay more attention on their healthy conditionand give more time to entertain themselves rather than just work hard. It isuniversally acknowledged that along with the rapid development of technology,modern populace（population？） are also confronting with numerous pressures（pressure好像是不可数） both from theirworkplace and daily life. At the same time, a growing number of people aresuffering from some pressure-related diseases, which become the main killer ofhuman survives（survive是动词）. Therefore, people began to reconsider their behaviors as wellas living styles. As a result, most of them adopt a more scientific method tolive that is take relax seriously. I am sure that after several years, whenthis new idea is accepted by more people, they will absolutely put moreconcentration on the leisure.

In the second place, the advances oftechnology save us a lot of time, which make it possible to entertain more.Nobody will deny that the advent of technological products to our livesincrease our living efficiency to a large degree. Take doing research as anexample. In the past time, researchers have to spend days or weeks in thelibrary to find useful academic books, most of them are out of date. However,today with the help of internet, this process has become a time-saving one. Aslong as you type the key words on the search bar online, in no second, therewill be hundreds of thousands of relative items appeared on the webpage, youcould choose as your needs. What is more, they are all the lasted informationsince Internet are updated everyday. Accordingly, it is obvious that when ourworking time could reduced, we will definitely use the left time to enjoy ahappy life.

Last but not least, nowadays, there aremore amusements which attract people to spend time on them. For instance, whenwe are free, there are so many choices to amuse ourselves: we can go to themovie theater, listen to a music concert or watch certain sport competition. Wecould travel to other place, go to the museum and so forth.

To sum up, taking into the account of thediscussion mentioned above, we may safely reach the conclusion that it is surethat years after now, people will spend more time on entertainment.

很多地方没有空格，两个单词连在一起，语法问题比较多，第二段的支持不太够，第三段的论述与论点扣的不够紧密