10.17

liuxiaoyinUID: 2631993

10.19 该重视学习concepts &ideas呢，还是重视学习facts呢？
Nowadays, it has become a serious social problem that a large number of college students can’s get employed. Local rules or regulations on employment assistance were produced in succession, but they made no discernible progress. However, one of the essential factors which cause this tough problem is that schools just teach students concepts and ideas which can’t be used in their future careers. Thus I think universities should attach more importance on the students’ facts learning for several reasons.

Firstly, teaching students facts builds the foundation the students’ future jobs and raises their competitive power. According to the interview published in the employment column in China Daily, many companies don’t like to hire persons without any working experience such as graduated students because they always take a long time to get used to the operation and gain the ability to work by themselves. If the university can instruct students more facts about the real working process and details, the adaptation time would likely be shortened, so the students will have more possibilities to get the position.

Secondly, that helps students really understand the meaning of the concepts and ideas and does the father research. The concepts and ideas serve the reality, so if we just study them and neglect the fact, these concepts and systems make no sense. For example, my good friend Ivy who studies the physics told me that she loves the kind of lessons in which professors give a lot of examples. Only by this way, can she really understand the significance of these concepts and systems. What’s more, she claimed that examples and facts related to the course help her a lot when she performs experiments and writes paper.

In conclusion, I believe deeply that school should pay more attention to the teaching on facts since it not only builds the foundation the students’ future jobs and raises their competitive power but also helps students really understand the meaning of the concepts and ideas.

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lupiscesUID: 2231942

Nowadays, it has become a serious social problem that a large number of college students can’s get employed. Local rules or regulations on employment assistance were produced in succession, but they made no discernible progress（good）. However, one of the essential factors which cause this tough problem is that schools just teach students concepts and ideas which can’t be used in their future careers. Thus I think universities should attach more importance on the students’ facts learning for several reasons.3 v$ E$ p/ M* f; N+ a0 o# O

Firstly, teaching students facts builds the foundation the students’ future jobs and raises their competitive power. According to the interview published in the employment column in China Daily, many companies don’t like to hire persons without any working experience such as graduated students because they always take a long time to get used to the operation and gain the ability to work by themselves. If the university can instruct students more facts about the real working process and details, the adaptation time would likely be shortened, so the students will have more possibilities to get the position. 2 R- @7 P6 E! z9 x. M/ C

Secondly, that（facts？） helps students really understand the meaning of the concepts and ideas and does the father（further） research. The concepts and ideas serve the reality, so if we just study them and neglect the fact, these concepts and systems make no sense. For example, my good friend Ivy who studies the physics told me that she loves the kind of lessons in which professors give a lot of examples. Only by this way,（倒装这里不用逗号） can she really understand the significance of these concepts and systems. What’s more, she claimed that examples and facts related to the course help her a lot when she performs experiments and writes paper.

In conclusion, I believe deeply that school should pay more attention to the teaching on facts since it not only builds the foundation the students’ future jobs and raises their competitive power but also helps students really understand the meaning of the concepts and ideas.

写的很好啊，小错误都很少。
而且观点很明确，语言也很好
非要提建议的话，我认为可以每段写多一点，内容充实一点，当然在时间够的情况下

PS 不好意思，我白天要工作，所以只有晚上改作文。。。

doubledianUID: 2661760

Nowadays, it has become a serious social problem that a large number of college students can’s （这是咋回事？什么是can’s啊？）get employed. Local rules or regulations on employment assistance were produced in succession, but they made no discernible progress. However, one of the essential factors which cause（前面是one of这里不需要是causes吗？我感觉我问的有点弱智，谁让咱语法差劲呢） this tough problem is that schools just teach students concepts and ideas which can’t be used in their future careers. Thus I think universities should attach more importance on the students’ facts learning for several reasons.
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Firstly, teaching students facts builds the foundation the students’ future jobs and raises their competitive power. According to the interview published in the employment column in China Daily, many companies don’t like to hire persons without any working experience such as graduated students because they always take a long time to get used to the operation and gain the ability to work by themselves. If the university can instruct students more facts about the real working process and details（继续弱智一下，and前后连接的两个词，不需要单复数一致吗？）, the adaptation time would likely be shortened, so the students will have more possibilities to get the position. / O' M. j/ |) \& {1 i( y
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Secondly, that helps students really understand the meaning of the concepts and ideas and does the father research. The concepts and ideas serve the reality, so if we just study them and neglect the fact, these concepts and systems make no sense. For example, my good friend Ivy who studies the physics told me that she loves the kind of lessons in which professors give a lot of examples. Only by this way, can she really understand the significance of these concepts and systems. What’s more, she claimed that examples and facts related to the course help her a lot when she performs experiments and writes paper. & Q% Q3 ]: I  f8 S
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In conclusion, I believe deeply that school should pay more attention to the teaching on facts since it not only builds the foundation the students’ future jobs and raises their competitive power but also helps students really understand the meaning of the concepts and ideas.
总体感觉：思路清晰，论点明确，尤其是例子举得很好，中间我就发现了那么点错误，但是我还不敢确定自己说的对不对，因为我自己的语法就很是个问题，继续加油！争取满分！

liuxiaoyinUID: 2631993

O(∩_∩)O谢谢，觉得你的作文写得特别好~~~ 2# lupisces

liuxiaoyinUID: 2631993

谢谢你给我鼓励，嘿嘿，我离满分还远着呢~~~语法没关系的，你努力多注意纠正就好了，↖(^ω^)↗·动词只与和它距离最近的主语保持主谓一致，你说的那个动词不用复数~~~还有and前后的词不用保持单复数一致。 3# doubledian