11月24日作文作业

wwwwwylUID: 2652189

11.24 是应该放更多的钱在access internet 上，而不是public transportation 同意还是不要?  (北美JJ)5 m; j  e7 u. m1 ?:


With the increasing demand of the city construction, the government is facing the difficult option between internet development and public transportation improvement. At the present, there is a radical discussion on which values more financial budget. As far as I am concerned, I intend to focus on the public transportation.
It is obvious that public transportation plays an essential role in our daily life. More buses, more railways, more bridges, etc, can extremely lead to a life of more convenience. Apart from this, the improvement of public transportation would build a closer connection between suburb and downtown, which means people living out of the city can go to work more efficiently.
In the second place, the further development of public transportation makes contribution to the economy booming. As is known to all, a perfect public transportation system wins more opportunities for investment and manufacturing. This makes great efforts to sustainable development of the city in the future years.
Besides, the public transportation has more advantages for it is more environmental friendly. Growing people choosing public transportation will certainly decrease the use of private transportation. To some extent, it indirectly benefits the environment protection in that less carbon dioxide will be exhausted.
To sum up, public transportation truly devotes so much to both the development of the city and people’s life. That is to say, it is proved more valuable for the larger investment. However, in spite of the fact that public transportation brings a great number of positive changes, we still cannot ignore the benefits thanks to the internet. Due to the contemporary life has been influenced deeply by the digital world, it is also fundamental to perfect accessing internet.

kuwenfeiUID: 2568228

With the increasing demand of city construction, government confronts the difficult option between internet development and public transportation improvement. At present, there is a radical discussion toward which values more financial budget. As far as I am concerned, I intend to focus on the public transportation.5 `5 (

^& R8 f+ r+ `
It is obviously that public transportation plays an essential role in our daily life. More buses, more railways, more bridges, etc, can extremely lead to a better life. (感觉太冗长) Apart from this, the improvement of public transportation would build a closer connection between suburb and downtown, which means people living out of the city can go to work more efficiently. / s, i8 Y9 F, P, j2 M

In the second place, the further development of public transportation makes contribution to the economy booming. As is known to all (我喜欢用As we know), a perfect public transportation system attracts more opportunities for investment and manufacturing. This makes great efforts to sustainable development of the city in the future years. (短句子用得值得借鉴 要是我就直接which啦 呵呵)

Besides, the public transportation has more advantages for it is more environmental friendly. Growing (这个表达感觉念起来不爽快) people choosing public transportation will certainly decrease the use of private transportation. To some extent, it indirectly benefits the environment protection in that less carbon dioxide will be exhausted.

To sum up, public transportation truly devotes so much to both the development of the city and people’s life. That is to say (我喜欢用In short), it is proved more valuable for the larger investment. However, in spite of the fact that public transportation brings a great number of positive changes, we still cannot ignore the benefits thanks to the internet. Due to the contemporary life has been influenced deeply by the digital world, it is also fundamental to perfect accessing internet. (结尾不够好，突然又开始说internet,有把自己否定的意思)

总体来说，文章思路清晰，词语句子都不错，但我个人觉得你在在正文中没有进行正反论述，而是一直在说public transportation如何如何好，但是开头和结尾又有Internet，建议在在正文中体现critical thinking

shining_sjUID: 2485580

With the increasing demand of the city construction, the government is facing the difficult option between internet development and public transportation improvement. At the present, there is a radical discussion on which values more financial budget. As far as I am concerned, I intend to focus on the public transportation.

It is obvious that public transportation plays an essential role in our daily life. More buses, more railways, more bridges, etc, can extremely lead to a life of more convenience. Apart from this, the improvement of public transportation would build a closer connection between suburb and downtown, which means people living out of the city can go to work more efficiently. % F! K' E6 ^( O5 @9 e1 M* V. S

In the second place, the further development of public transportation makes contribution to the economy booming. As is known to all, a perfect public transportation system wins more opportunities for investment and manufacturing. This makes great efforts to sustainable development of the city in the future years.. X$ ]1 H5 L( V& V( g' ]  R+ \7 \

Besides, the public transportation has more advantages for it is more environmental friendly.(这句里面的it是指public transportation?如果是，我觉得用evironmental不是很恰当） Growing people choosing public transportation will certainly decrease the use of private transportation. To some extent, it indirectly benefits the environment protection in that less carbon dioxide will be exhausted.（我会用discharge，或者emission of carbon dioxide will be reduced)

To sum up, public transportation truly devotes so much to both the development of the city and people’s life. That is to say, it is proved more valuable for the larger investment (than access internet). However, in spite of the fact that public transportation brings a great number of positive changes, we still cannot ignore the benefits thanks to the internet. Due to the contemporary life has been influenced deeply by the digital world, it is also fundamental to perfect accessing internet.


结构清晰，每段观点清楚，例子到位。
词语的替换也很好，想contributes to ,devotes to ,great efforts to, play an essential role,fundamental to,
more valuable...很值得学习~~