11.28

liuxiaoyinUID: 2631993

11.28 Do you agree or disagree: people should live in the city or country all life instead of moving to another place.

Concerning the surroundings, medical conditions, education level and traffic convenience, everyone has its favorite place to live in. While there is still a focusing debate on whether people should live in a place for all their life.
In my perception, I believe that the answer to the question varies case by case.

For one thing, if a person has lived in a city for a long time, such as 10 years or more, the best and reasonable choice is staying which you live in. My reasons are as following. Firstly, each city or country has its unique spirit and culture which you have been accustomed to. Even if you don't like these characters, your performance and habit have been adjusted to suit them. All of these will become the blocks which lead you unhappy after you moved into other places. Secondly, living in a place for a long time, our body get used to the water, climate and living conditions there. Moving into a different place which may bring negative effects on our health. For example, my cousin was born in north and lived there for 25 years. He found a job in south after graduating, but he dropped it after half a year and returned to north. He told us that he couldn't stand the winter in south and he became easy to get ill since had stayed here. Thirdly, you probably have build your social circle and close relationships with your relatives and neighbors, who you may cooperate with in your career or just talk, play ball and go shopping together. Whether you realize or not, they have placed an important role in your life. Moving out will ruin all of these connections. As a result, you will be lonely and meet difficulties in the new city.

For another thing, if having been a place for a short time, persons can make their decision much easier, which means they can decide move or not as they like. Firstly, we may make a false decision when choosing the resides since we have little knowledge about it or the culture and people is so different with us. Consequently, we are not happy in there, both in life and job. In this case, moving out as soon as possible is the best solution to end up this painful life. Secondly, if we get a better opportunity such as a promising or high salary job in other place, we should leave in no doubt. Opportunities are valuable to a person,especially to young people, so there is high rate of population floating in modern society which is mostly the result of job-hopping. Finally, with the development of the financial ability and accumulation of working experience, people lead to choose better place to live in. Their ideal region can bring them more happiness, convenience and usually benefits to their children.

In conclusion, people should make decision by their own instances. If they have stayed in a place for a long time, they shouldn't move out. However, If they just lived in a certain city or country for a short time, they can choose to migrate as they like.

yuminjiaUID: 2659628

1# liuxiaoyin
11.28 Do you agree or disagree: people should live in the city or country all life instead of moving to another place.
c9 f
Concerning the (surroundings)environment, medical conditions, education level and traffic convenience, everyone has its favorite place to live in. While there is still a （focusing ）debate on whether people should live in a place for all their life.
my perception, I believe that the answer to （the）this
question varies case by case. ( P6 r& }" p. y
(这个段是不是找个模板参考下，觉得开头句子写的比较弱；没有明确观点，T的作文和GMAT不同，观点要明确，结尾句观点很模糊)
For one thing, if a person has lived in a city for a long time, such as 10 years or more, the best and reasonable choice is to stay the place(原文stay which, which 无指代对象) which you live in. My reasons are as following. First（ly）, each city or country has its unique spirit and culture which you have been accustomed to. Even if you don't like these characteristics, your performance and habit have been adjusted to suit (themc) thishabitat. All of these living customers will bring you much inconvenience (become the) (which lead) and unhappiness after your migrating. Second(ly), living in a place for a long time, our body will get used to the water, climate and other living conditions there. In contrary, Moving into a different place which may bring negative effects on our health. For example, my cousin was born in north and lived there for 25 years, but He found a job in south after graduating .( but he dropped it after half a year and returned to north. )(He told us )The reason why he dropped this job after half a year and return to north is that he couldn't stand the winter in south and he became easy to get ill since had stayed there. Third(ly) you will probably (have) build your social circle and close relationships with your relatives and neighbors. (who you may cooperate with in your career or just talk, play ball and go shopping together.太罗嗦，去掉) Indeed, Whether you realize or not, they have placed an important role in your daily life. Moving out will ruin all of these connections. As a result, you will be lonely and meet difficulties without help in the new city. % s3 V: k& D4 K! E* B
% t3 w, w& @  T
For another thing, if having been a place for a short time, persons can make their decision much easier, which means they can decide whether
move or not as they like. Firstly, we may make a false decision when choosing the resides since we have little knowledge about it or the culture and people is so different with us. Consequently, we are not happy in there, both in life and job. In this case, to move out as soon as possible is the best solution to initiate a new trip in other city.(end up this painful life 这个读起来怪怪的 结束痛苦的一生？). Secondly, if we get a better opportunity such as a promising or high salary job in other place, we should leave in with no doubt. Opportunities are valuable to a person(, especially to young people,去掉吧) .Resulting from of job-hopping, (there is high)the rate of population is floating in modern society .（which is mostly the） Finally, with the development of the financial ability and accumulation of working experience, people lead to choose better place to live in. Their ideal (region )habitats can bring them more happiness, convenience and (usually)butterfly effects (benefits) to their children.
in conclusion, people should make decision by their own (instances) situation. If they have stayed in a place for a long time, they shouldn't move out. However, If they just lived in a certain city or country for a short time, they can choose to migrate as they like.
(建议不要写成一分为二的文章， 听老师说会被ETS认为走题啊)
黑体字加粗修改的地方，括号中的是建议删掉的地方。
总体来说词汇比较平乏，单独的句子比较多，罗嗦；句子之间建议多用逻辑词连接起来，不少单句可以改成从句连接起来。

yy2326218UID: 2675033

11.28 Do you agree or disagree: people should live in the city or country all life instead of moving to another place.' ~1 n$ x, f+ n
Concerning the surroundings, medical conditions, education level and traffic convenience, everyone has its favorite place to live in. While there is still a focusing debate on whether people should live in a place for all their life.（While whether people should live in a place for all their lives or not, it still a controversial question.你看是不是要好一些？） AIn my perception(为啥不用opinion呢), I believe that the answer to the question varies case by case.



For one thing, if a person has lived in a city for a long time, such as 10 years or more, the best and reasonable choice is staying which（where） you live in. My reasons are as following. Firstly, each city or country has its unique（own） spirit and culture which you have been accustomed to（这个没看懂呢）. Even if you don't like these characters, your performance and habit have been adjusted to suit（用fit更好，个人认为） them. All of these will become the blocks which lead you unhappy(导致是lead to-> lead to your unpleasure) after you moved into other places. Secondly, living in a place for a long time, our body（bodies）get（ will be） used to the water, climate and living conditions there. Moving into a different place（前面已经用过，可以用changing the place where you live 来替代） may bring negative effects on our health. For example, my cousin was born in north and has lived there for 25 years. He found a job in south after graduating(his graduation), but he dropped it after half a year and returned to north. He told us that he couldn't stand the winter in south and he became easy to get ill since had stayed(been) here(there). Thirdly, you probably have build your social circle and close relationships with your relatives and neighbors, who you may cooperate with in your career or just talk(?), play ball and go shopping together. Whether you realize or not, they have placed an important role in your life. Moving out will ruin all of these connections. As a result, you will be lonely and meet difficulties in the new city.
4 t9 R0 {
@, A5 `, B: }# T

$ q9 n+ G) w
W; cFor another thing, if having been a place for a short time, persons can make their decisions much easier, which means they can decide move or not as they like. Firstly, we may make a false decision when choosing the resides since we have little knowledge about it or the culture and people is so different with us. Consequently, we are not happy in(去掉) there,
both in life and job. In this case, moving out as soon as possible is the best solution to end up this painful life. Secondly, if we get a better opportunity such as a promising or high salary （high paid, salary是名词）job in other place, we should leave in(?) no doubt. Opportunities are valuable to a person, especially to young people, so there is high rate of population floating in modern society which is mostly the result of job-hopping. Finally, with the development of the financial ability and accumulation of working experience, people lead to choose better place to live in. Their ideal region can bring them more happiness, convenience and usually benefits to their children.( M! [3 V( a$ ^* o
" E1 j. [; U$ L2 P5 ^
In conclusion, people should make decisions by their own instance. If they have stayed in a place for a long time, they shouldn't move out. However, If they just lived in a certain city or country for a short time, they can choose to migrate as they like.

总结：
有很多地方觉得表达不妥，可是也不敢乱批，怕误人子弟。
不过一战我的作文评价是可以正确和熟练地表达想要表达的意思，但是没有用具体和有力的例证来支撑。所以我的表达算是已经得到ETS的承认了吧。
总的来说文章结构明了，firstly， secondly揭示了文章结构。因为表达上的问题，所以不能很好地了解你想说什么。所以内容我就不批了吧。。。看到前面那位童鞋也改了很多。加油

yy2326218UID: 2675033

我标了我看不懂的地方啦。。。因为怕是自己理解问题所以也不敢乱说。。。
Firstly, we may make a false decision when choosing the resides since we have little knowledge about it or the culture and people is so different with us.
这句好像就不太能够理解。。。
Firstly, each city or country has its unique（own） spirit and culture which you have been accustomed to。
这句也没懂。。。

你要对自己有信心啊，我看不懂可以有两方面的原因，第一个，你的表达确实存在问题（这个我相信总会是有一点的）
第二个，我的阅读能力有限啊~！！

所以别慌
相信你能成功的~！