进军美利坚--12.16独立作文

饕餮丫UID：2575059

关于大学生有没有必要学basic science courses，不学就可以学专业知识.


The argument that it is not necessary for college students to study basic science courses is not convincible from my perspective. In contrary, basic science course is essential parts of curriculum of University which have following functions:

First point, learning basic science courses is a helpful approach for students to broaden the horizon. Nowadays, the society requires the youth is weaponed by comprehensive knowledge in order to win from the more and more severer competition. The talents filled professional minds but to be lack of basic skill and sense fail to keep advantage gradually. Basic courses which pertain to many different fields provide abundant knowledge pool help students to know more about the world and to form basic skill of socialization. For example, the youth are able to obtain communication skill and writing ability through public science and basic literature courses.

Furthermore, basic science course is the door towards to the success of professional study. Since basic courses are simple to understand and cover overview of the major, it is significant for students to make the first step on the path of learning more about the subject. When I was a fresh with major of petroleum engineering, I hate studying senior mathematic and physical chemistry for a large amount of calculation and formulation. However, when I started to touch my major course in the third year, I found the knowledge from those two courses helped me a lot to master the physical and chemical quality of petroleum and natural gas. Therefore, students tend to study the major courses better only if they have a consolidated basic knowledge.

Finally, someone will argue that spending much time on the basic courses which are irrelative with the major is not a wise arrangement. But I support basic courses as they can interact with and promote each other. Basic chemical courses would help a student whose major is biology to get better performance and history can assist the study of literature. Therefore, students can benefit from learning basic courses for the major study.

All above, basic science courses are necessity for college students. The skyscraper cannot stand steady without a strong base.

shirley072UID：2712200

The argument that it is not necessary forcollege students to study basic science courses is not convincible from myperspective. In contrary, basic science course is essential parts
(part) of curriculum of University which havefollowing functions:


First point, learning basic sciencecourses is a helpful approach for students to broaden the horizon. Nowadays,the society requires the youth is weaponed
(句子结构不对，两个谓语.Nowadays, society requiresthe youth to be equipped with…) by comprehensiveknowledge in order to win from
(among)the more and more severer competition. The talents filled professional mindsbut to be lack of
(? fill with？什么意思) basic skill and sense fail to keep advantage gradually. Basiccourses which pertain to many different fields provide abundant knowledge pool
(Basic courses provide with different knowledgeresources to…) help students to know more about the world and to formbasic skill of socialization. For example, the youth are able to obtaincommunication skill and writing ability through public science and basicliterature courses.6 b5 X9 w1 G9 n) \* z7 }) Q* Y( D


Furthermore, basic science course is(opens) the door towards to the success ofprofessional study. Since basic courses are simple to understand and coveroverview
(不能这么写，但我一时也没有想起其他) of the major, it is significant forstudents to make the first step on the path of learning more about the subject.When I was a fresh with major of petroleum engineering, I hate studying seniormathematic and physical chemistry for a large amount of calculation andformulation. However, when I started to touch my major course in the thirdyear, I found the knowledge from those two courses helped me a lot to masterthe physical and chemical quality of petroleum and natural gas. Therefore,students tend to study the major courses better only if they have aconsolidated basic knowledge.3 r9 H; l- j1 E0 G5 A5 {


Finally, someone will argue that spendingmuch time on the basic courses which are irrelative with the major is not awise arrangement. But I support basic courses asthey can interact with and promote each other. Basic chemicalcourses would help a student whose major is biology to get better performance andhistory can assist the study of literature (这句的句式有点跟前面脱节，有点混乱). Therefore, studentscan benefit from learning basic courses for the major study., x6 i6 ]  \% c5 H# C/ j


All above, basic science courses arenecessity for college students. The skyscraper cannot stand steady without astrong base.


内容和论据不错，但是开头和结尾写得太简单了，虽然我也是。。
还有就是要注意语法，句式的应用

nwu-uwoUID：2672434

1# 饕餮丫

nwu-uwoUID：2672434

The argument that it is not necessary for college students to study basic science courses is not convincible from my perspective. In contrary, basic science course is essential parts（主谓不一致） of curriculum of University （university没必要大写）which have following functions（此处定语从句有歧义，其中动词have人称有问题）:/ E8 S; u3 i3 y7 V$ r! R


8 a0 F1 h+ b& SFirst point（？）, learning basic science courses is a helpful approach for students to broaden the horizon. Nowadays, the society requires the youth is weaponed（这个表达太中式英语了，可以换成the young people must art themselves with knowledge, 这个表达很地道） by comprehensive knowledge in order to win from（删去from） the more and more severer competition. The talents filled professional minds but to be lack of basic skill and sense fail to keep advantage gradually(这个表达你试图用过去分词后置定语，和不定式做定语，但整个句子表达结构松散，头重脚轻，建议换个表达). Basic courses which pertain to many different fields provide abundant knowledge pool（知识库此处pool应为复数形式） help students to know more about the world and to form basic skill of socialization（这个句子很长，但是可能是你在help之前丢了and,不然这句话在定语从句之后的谓语动词有问题）. For example, the youth are able to obtain communication skill and writing ability through public science and basic literature courses.
  Q0 N/ Y* x" z  [0 M9 P

9 }  g: b, ~% I; f" c' f: |# M# Z  dFurthermore, basic science course is the door towards to the success of professional study. Since basic courses are simple to understand and cover overview of the major, it is significant for students to make the first step （应该是take the first step）on the path of learning more about the subject. When I was a fresh(freshman) with major of petroleum engineering, I hate studying senior mathematic (高数是advanced mathematic) and physical chemistry for(此处可以用due to, because of等) a large amount of calculation(s) and formulation(s). However, when I started to touch my major course in the third year, I found the knowledge from(of) those two courses helped me a lot to master the physical and chemical quality(你是要表达石油的物化特征，用characteristic更好) of petroleum and natural gas. Therefore, students （此处加will,这是if引导的条件状语从句）tend to study the major courses better only if they have a consolidated basic knowledge.! e' w2 a1 Y, |- V
  t8 F, ]1 B' Q8 v- c8 P' r
    Finally, someone will argue that spending much time on the basic courses which are irrelative with the major is not a wise arrangement（choice）. But I support basic courses as they can interact with and promote each other(主句表达模糊，as 引导原因还行，总感觉句子有点空). Basic chemical courses would help a student whose major is biology to get better（比较级的运用还是应该慎重） performance and history can assist the study of literature（句子结构问题）. Therefore, students can benefit from learning basic courses for the major study.
0 u' [: K) D& g8 D1 o2 X& q

$ [( E& }$ t1 b/ KAll above（？这是什么意思，只是在选择题里会看到这个词，但是也不是固定短语，还是换个其他的，in a word, to sum up and so on）, basic science courses are necessity(necessary) for college students. The skyscraper cannot stand(stand可以作为系动词，但是就不是矗立的意思了) steady(steadily) without a strong base.
你的作文我仔细改了一遍，问题如下：
首先，你的语法有待进一步加强，文章好多语法问题，我都给你指出了。
其次，句式结构太单一，尝试用多种句子结构，且连接词太少，这个要注重平时积累。
再次，句子表达意思模糊，结构不紧凑，有歧义，中式英语的痕迹较重，这要在平时注重地道表达的积累。
最后，文章的结构设置不太好，最好多看一些范文，文章读起来感觉不生动，有点空，要注重specific details.
祝你好运！加油！8 _* R, [0 C$ u$ z; Y7 g,
1# 饕餮丫

nwu-uwoUID：2672434

刚才发的那个有好多乱码，再发一遍！
The argument that it is not necessary for college students to study basic science courses is not convincible from my perspective. In contrary, basic science course is essential parts（主谓不一致） of curriculum of University （university没必要大写）which have following functions（此处定语从句有歧义，其中动词have人称有问题）
First point（？）, learning basic science courses is a helpful approach for students to broaden the horizon. Nowadays, the society requires the youth is weaponed（这个表达太中式英语了，可以换成the young people must art themselves with knowledge, 这个表达很地道） by comprehensive knowledge in order to win from（删去from） the more and more severer competition. The talents filled professional minds but to be lack of basic skill and sense fail to keep advantage gradually(这个表达你试图用过去分词后置定语，和不定式做定语，但整个句子表达结构松散，头重脚轻，建议换个表达). Basic courses which pertain to many different fields provide abundant knowledge pool（知识库此处pool应为复数形式） help students to know more about the world and to form basic skill of socialization（这个句子很长，但是可能是你在help之前丢了and,不然这句话在定语从句之后的谓语动词有问题）. For example, the youth are able to obtain communication skill and writing ability through public science and basic literature courses.
Furthermore, basic science course is the door towards to the success of professional study. Since basic courses are simple to understand and cover overview of the major, it is significant for students to make the first step （应该是take the first step）on the path of learning more about the subject. When I was a fresh(freshman) with major of petroleum engineering, I hate studying senior mathematic (高数是advanced mathematic) and physical chemistry for(此处可以用due to, because of等) a large amount of calculation(s) and formulation(s). However, when I started to touch my major course in the third year, I found the knowledge from(of) those two courses helped me a lot to master the physical and chemical quality(你是要表达石油的物化特征，用characteristic更好) of petroleum and natural gas. Therefore, students （此处加will,这是if引导的条件状语从句）tend to study the major courses better only if they have a consolidated basic knowledge.
Finally, someone will argue that spending much time on the basic courses which are irrelative with the major is not a wise arrangement（choice）. But I support basic courses as they can interact with and promote each other(主句表达模糊，as 引导原因还行，总感觉句子有点空). Basic chemical courses would help a student whose major is biology to get better（比较级的运用还是应该慎重） performance and history can assist the study of literature（句子结构问题）. Therefore, students can benefit from learning basic courses for the major study.
All above（？这是什么意思，只是在选择题里会看到这个词，但是也不是固定短语，还是换个其他的，in a word, to sum up and so on）, basic science courses are necessity(necessary) for college students. The skyscraper cannot stand(stand可以作为系动词，但是就不是矗立的意思了) steady(steadily) without a strong base.
你的作文我仔细改了一遍，问题如下：
首先，你的语法有待进一步加强，文章好多语法问题，我都给你指出了。
其次，句式结构太单一，尝试用多种句子结构，且连接词太少，这个要注重平时积累。
再次，句子表达意思模糊，结构不紧凑，有歧义，中式英语的痕迹较重，这要在平时注重地道表达的积累。
最后，文章的结构设置不太好，最好多看一些范文，文章读起来感觉不生动，有点空，要注重specific details.
祝你好运！加油！
1# 饕餮丫

饕餮丫UID：2575059

:)谢谢两位的修改评价；我作文确实练习太少，积累不够；主要精力都放在提高听力了。自以为平时上班都在发英文邮件，反而忽略了英语基本的书面运用规则。
还有一个月考试，我会尽力。谢谢