3月2日作文

swbaiUID: 2600532

3.2：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Modern society has become more complex, so it is essential for the young people to have the ability to plan and organize.

For people who live in the modern world, something is urgent to handle. We use the computer to listen to the music, while use the cell phone to surf the internet. We communicate relatives in distance, while have a lot of touch with strangers. The world is changing so fast. A billionaire could once be a looser, and the nobleman could not last only a decade.

Young men have a special position in this whole world of conflict. They have much energy and enthusiasm to deal with every day’s problem, yet have not enough judgment on what they are doing. They are trying to win more, yet they do not exactly know what the world “win” is. Always encouraged by the elder is not a proper way to grow up, rather it is just a copy of others. This is not a way to succeed, for succeed represents original, and can not be multiplied.

Facing sophisticated things is not totally bad; at least it helps young man to grow up. What do people do when they work hard but fail? They have to check their plan first. "What will things going on if I do this and not do that?" Young people's schedule may help them a great deal. The ability to plan is the key to success.

In a world, the ability to plan is essential for young people to live in modern society. Only through planning, can young people have a better living condition. And this will help themselves and surrounding people a lot.

ivybettyUID: 2328308

For people who live in the modern world, something is urgent to handle. 这句是主题句的话,后面的例子好象根本没有支持这句话.We use the computer to listen to the music, while use the cell phone to surf the internet. We communicate relatives in distance, while have a lot of touch with strangers. The world is changing so fast. A billionaire could once be a looser, and the nobleman could not last only a decade.

Young men have a special position in this whole world of conflict. They have much energy and enthusiasm to deal with every day’s problem, yet have not enough judgment on what they are doing(句子主语?). They are trying to win more, yet they do not exactly know what the world(word??) “win” is. (They are ??)Always encouraged by the elder is not a proper way to grow up, rather it is just a copy of others. This is not a way to succeed, for succeed represents original, and can not be multiplied( 不明白是什么意思?).
" M; r3 G' r- b% n* Y6 X
% L) `) {5 z' Z- z: s6 g6 `0 @
Facing sophisticated things is not totally bad; at least it helps young man to grow up. What do people do when they work hard but fail? They have to check their plan first. "What will things going on if I do this and not do that?" Young people's schedule may help them a great deal. The ability to plan is the key to success. 7 t7 B: ]4 M1 q3 x/ E

In a world(word??), the ability to plan is essential for young people to live in modern society. Only through planning, can young people have a better living condition.(请教是only倒装句?我语法不太好) And this will help themselves and surrounding people a lot.

LZ的很多句子好象都没有主语,不知是有这种特殊的用法吗?请指教.
另外文章扣题好象也不太紧密.
加油了

Uranus1989UID: 2756616

3.2：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Modernsociety has become more complex, so it is essential for the youngpeople to have the ability to plan and organize.7 {7 J( _9 g" ]7 I( e( I* K

8 ]/ b' p4 F% G7 gFor people wholive in the modern world, something is urgent to handle. We use thecomputer to listen to the music, while use the cell phone to surf(surf on) theinternet. We communicate(communicate with) relatives in distance, while have a lot oftouch with strangers. The world is changing so fast. A billionairecould once be a looser, and the nobleman could not last for only(even) a decade.
/ d/ E' s2 ~* H( m0 c) A/ i! {2 c) u" Z' v$ K# n
Young men have a special position in this whole world of conflict(这里很不顺world full of conflicts). Theyhave much energy and enthusiasm to deal with every day’s problem, yethave not enough judgment on what they are doing(你好像特爱用这样的句型，但是这样根本没有什么连接词比如although, therefore等等，会让别人觉得你的文章非常不通顺啊,千万注意啊) They are trying to winmore, yet(这个词好像用的太多了啊) they do not exactly know what the world（word) “win” is. Always beingencouraged by the elder is not a proper way to grow up, rather it isjust a copy of others. This is not a way to succeed, for succeedrepresents original, and can not be multiplied. 6 G+ y) b. b: ?  y1 I6 \. O
我其实可以理解你在努力地向这个方向上写，但是我觉得你一定要注意一点，就算一整段都跑题了，最后也一定要压到点上，你要非常清楚明白地告诉读者你到底在支持哪个观点，以及这个观点到底和要总观点的关系。
  \; U3 {, j% I% `; Q3 ]$ o1 K& FFacingsophisticated things is not totally bad; at least it helps young man togrow up. What do people do when they work hard but fail? They have tocheck their plan first. "What will things going on if I do this and notdo that?" Young people's schedule may help them a great deal. Theability to plan is the key to success.
" M) G4 E- D0 |% W) s1 R  u这段感觉你才真正地进入主题啊，太晚了吧，我觉得英语文章也应该遵从皮薄馅大的守则吧，上来没说两句话就立刻进入主题，然后内容里面充分论证，最后顺势结尾，不要开头写太多开头语，没那么多时间。
% z# N9 I7 j  r4 zIn a world（word), theability to plan is essential for young people to live in modernsociety. Only through planning, can young people have a better livingcondition. And this will help themselves and surrounding people a lot.
当然我首先要说不管怎样，写出来就可以进步。
然后我觉得很多人都觉得表达丰富是很重要的，但是我却觉得先把文章写清楚才很重要。
其次我还是要说，你是否通顺是否句型变化丰富，是否用词多样真的很会影响那个评分的老师的，真的要注意这点，所以一定要不断加强自己的功底好么？

然后，