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[a习作temp] [Big Fish]3月3日Argument150 by-bobbieZZ [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-3-4 01:48:17 |显示全部楼层
Argument 150
"The decline in the numbers of amphibians worldwide clearly indicates the global pollution of water and air. Two studies of amphibians in Yosemite National Park in California confirm my conclusion. In 1915 there were seven species of amphibians in the park, and there were abundant numbers of each species. However, in 1992 there were only four species of amphibians observed in the park, and the numbers of each species were drastically reduced. The decline in Yosemite has been blamed on the introduction of trout into the park's waters, which began in 1920 (trout are known to eat amphibian eggs). But the introduction of trout cannot be the real reason for the Yosemite decline because it does not explain the worldwide decline."

The editor claims the global pollution of water and air has made the numbers of amphibians decline. Although he gives several evidences which are the research of Yosemite National Park in California and the experiment of introduction of trout to support his view, however it has no sufficient information on the report which he based on and even cannot stand his statement. I find this argument logically unconvincing in three critical respects.

First of all, the survey of Yosemite National Park in California has imprecision information which the author based on it can not used to proof his statement. The research only recorded two years data of amphibians' number is not enough to definite whether the numbers of the animals decline or not. In addition, the approach they observed amphibians was not strict, perhaps some of them could not be found in the investigation. And the examples of survey are not adequacy. Therefore the research that editor according to is not accurate enough.

Secondly, even if the research that the speaker used is preciseness, he also unfairly assumes that the trout introduction into the park's waters hadn’t cause the numbers of amphibians decline. The author has no sufficient evidence to support his point of view. Perhaps trout could influence amphibians by several ways. Such as eat amphibian eggs or the provisions what amphibians depend on surviving. If trout eat them the amphibians could be difficult to exist in Yosemite Parke and other place where they live together.

Thirdly, even if the trout introduction has no relationship with amount of amphibians fall off, the author unfairly assumes the global pollution of air and water is the basis that what kill these animals. In the letter, the editor has no word to say why pollution influence the amphibian's lives even make them died. In addition, global pollution could not influence the Yosemite Park's animals, the park have excellent system to prevent all animals and plants from outsides injury specially pollution of water and air. As a result, the speaker should give facts and substantiation to maintain his assertion about the influence.

In sum up, the author have no entirely survey date and even indicate the way how trout and pollution influence amphibians. Without this evidences, the speaker's statement can not convince me.

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发表于 2010-3-6 22:42:04 |显示全部楼层
没什么大问题,不过开头和结尾还是有两个地方cannot 写成了can not,习惯要改过来哦,呵呵。然后结尾可以再写具体一些,这样字数就能上400了
取次花丛懒回顾,半缘修道GRE

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发表于 2010-3-7 06:21:29 |显示全部楼层
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发表于 2010-3-7 06:21:52 |显示全部楼层
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RE: [Big Fish]3月3日Argument150 by-bobbieZZ [修改]

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[Big Fish]3月3日Argument150 by-bobbieZZ
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1066687-1-1.html
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