寄托天下
查看: 1138|回复: 1

[a习作temp] 【Big Fish】03月16日Argument1--By lospirit [复制链接]

Rank: 1

声望
0
寄托币
48
注册时间
2010-2-25
精华
0
帖子
0
发表于 2010-3-17 09:20:32 |显示全部楼层
In this argument, the arguer advocates that they should build their new store in Plainsville because of profit. Although this argument might seem reasonable at first glance, it is in fact ill-conceived. The reasons are stated as follows.

First of all, the arguer cites some information that the sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs and the weight training and aerobics classes of the local health club are always full, the arguer makes no comparison of the region of Plainsville with the region in which their stores are most profitable. It is very likely that in this case the number and the percentage of local is far lower than other regions. An possible instance is not very far to conjecture. In the region of Plainsville, the sales of sportswears is one hundred thousand while eighty thousand in another region. however, the population of former is one milion while the latter's population is only thirty hundred thousand. Despite tha sales in Plainsville is more than another region , the percentage is less. According to this case, the individual sales is not a guideline to prove that local are highly concerned with leading healthy lives unless the arguer can offer me the comparison and convince me that these and other possible scenarios are unlikely.

Even if one accepts the data without problems, the argument remains questionable. the arguer assumes that previous experience has shown that their stores are most profitable in areas where residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives. Nevertheless, there is no mention about the areas' circumstance, and the arguer does not supply any evidence to confirm whether the purchasing power of local in Plainsville is enough to buy their merchandises. To illustrate this point clearly, let us take a look at the following possibility. The local is fain to buy the sportswears, only because the price of them is lower than other suits. And the sales of some high-price sporting stuff is in downturn. Consider this case, the arguer do not offer me whether the price of the merchandises which is in their stores is suitable for local. Without accounting for and ruling out these and other possibility, the arguer cannot bolster the recommendation.

The last but not the least important, the arguer just simply assumes that the schoolchildren who are required to participate in a program about to emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early, are the new generation of customers. However, there are no any conclusive scientific evidence to affirm this assumption. It is reasonable to doubt that what the arguer assumes will not happen in reality. this optimistic estimate is not a reason to build the new store.

To sum up, the arguer's argument mentioned above is not based on valid evidence or sound reasoning, neither of which is dispensable for a conclusive argument. In order to draw a better conclusion, the arguer should reason more convincingly, cite some evidence that is more persuasive, and take every possible consideration into account.

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
0
寄托币
208
注册时间
2009-10-20
精华
0
帖子
1
发表于 2010-3-17 20:42:04 |显示全部楼层
In this argument, the arguer advocates that they should build their new store in Plainsville because of(用for) profit. Although this argument might seem reasonable at first glance, it is in fact ill-conceived. The reasons are stated as follows.

First of all, the arguer cites some information that the sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs and the weight training and aerobics classes of the local health club are always full, the arguer makes no comparison of the region of Plainsville with the region in which their stores are most profitable. It is very likely that in this case the number and the percentage of local is far lower than other regions. An(a) possible instance is not very far to conjecture. In the region of Plainsville, the sales of sportswears is one hundred thousand while eighty thousand in another region. However, the population of former is one million while the latter's population is only thirty hundred thousand. Despite the sales in Plainsville is more than another region, the percentage is less. According to this case, the individual sales is not a guideline to prove that local are highly concerned with leading healthy lives unless the arguer can offer me the comparison and convince me that these and other possible scenarios are unlikely.(感觉每段的开头句是不是要简明点更好?并且要表明论点。这一段以及下一段的分析论证还是足够细致的)

Even if one accepts the data without problems, the argument remains questionable. The arguer assumes that previous experience has shown that their stores are most profitable in areas where residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives. Nevertheless, there is no mention about the areas' circumstance, and the arguer does not supply any evidence to confirm whether the purchasing power of local in Plainsville is enough to buy their merchandises. To illustrate this point clearly, let us take a look at the following possibility. The local is fain to buy the sportswears, only because the price of them is lower than other suits. And the sales of some high-price sporting stuff is(are) in downturn. Consider(ing) this case, the arguer do not offer me whether the price of the merchandises which is(are) in their stores is suitable for local. Without accounting for and ruling out these and other possibility, the arguer cannot bolster the recommendation.

The last but not the least important, the arguer just simply assumes that the schoolchildren who are required to participate in a program about to emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early, are the new generation of customers. However, there are(is) no any conclusive scientific evidence to affirm this assumption.(接下来可以展开啊) It is reasonable to doubt that what the arguer assumes will not happen in reality. This optimistic estimate is not a reason to build the new store.

To sum up, the arguer's argument mentioned above is not based on valid evidence or sound reasoning, neither of which is dispensable for a conclusive argument. In order to draw a better conclusion, the arguer should reason more convincingly, cite some evidence that is more persuasive, and take every possible consideration into account.(具体点。。)
下次贴的时候请注意word一下哈。。
还有就是觉得每段开头句最好是拿来表明观点,你觉得呢?
详细分析,前两段做的不错

使用道具 举报

RE: 【Big Fish】03月16日Argument1--By lospirit [修改]

问答
Offer
投票
面经
最新
精华
转发
转发该帖子
【Big Fish】03月16日Argument1--By lospirit
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1072390-1-1.html
复制链接
发送
回顶部