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发表于 2010-4-8 13:09:58 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
My motto of writing

be directly,
be native,
be diverse!
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沙发
发表于 2010-4-8 13:13:41 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 forrestlut 于 2010-4-13 16:51 编辑


4.7.doc

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板凳
发表于 2010-4-8 21:29:20 |只看该作者
2# forrestlut

Traveling in a group led by a tour(这不是一个句子)? For this question, some people say "Yes", as the things in a travel such as hotel, food, languages, routes, potential dangers etc. will make them exhausted. Some others, however, say "No", as they consider these the most exciting challenges. As far as I am concerned, I am the one of the latter.

First, it(it指代什么) is exciting and challenging. Traveling with others, especially in a group led by a tour, everything is pre-arranged, including what time to start or stop; which scenic spot to visit(这句话有语法问题,traveling with others,谁travel with others,没主语。你可以这样用 traveling with others, we xxx); how many hours can you stay at a place. The most disappointing thing is that the guide will tell you all stories about the sights(这句话太突然,应该加转折连词). Being one of travelers in a tour like that, what you can do is just endless walking and listening, rarely inquiring, never trying and discovering, in the end you even feel boring(同样是现在分子作状语的问题). However, taking a trip by yourself, you can make all the decisions and go wherever you want. The travel also becomes unforeseen. Thinking about a discovery that after you trek through a jungle, suddenly, a plain village comes out. Would you be surprised and exciting? You may feel curious about everything about this village: the habitant are friendly; the architectural style is unique; the food is tasty(这些都不是travel along unique advantagestravel in group 人们同样可以感觉到居民的友好,建筑的独特,食物的鲜美). Even though you can not speak local language, you may use body language to communicate with habitant and learn whatever you want to know. It is not really a big challenge?

Second, traveling alone can make you organized and decisive. You may face many unforeseen situations, some of them may very dangerous(语法问题,这里应该用定语从句). For instance, when crossing a rapid current, you may slip and fall into the river; when hiking in the wasteland, you may lack of drinking water; when climbing a cliff, you may be trapped and can not find way up and down. To avoid these dangers, you would learn to be organized and carefully prepared before start your trip. Unfortunately(unfortunately不是很合适,另外这是原因应该加上because之类的连词), if you are trapped in these dangers and the only person who you can relay(rely) on is yourself, you would learn to calm down and use your knowledge and experience to find methods to get out.

In conclusion, I am agree with traveling alone, for the excitements and challenges that make us feel a heightened sense of living and for the experience that makes us organized and decisive.

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地板
发表于 2010-4-8 21:54:00 |只看该作者
3# ly8768

THANKS, 一些修改不太同意

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发表于 2010-4-10 20:37:59 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 forrestlut 于 2010-4-12 23:56 编辑

这篇文章算是一次尝试,在段落发展方式上的尝试,自我感觉还欠火候,还需磨练,欢迎各位拍砖。。。

4.9  Universities should give every member of team the same grade when the team finishes a project (2114)
























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发表于 2010-4-10 23:00:14 |只看该作者
抱歉 我觉得自己改了半天好像曲解你的意思了 你先看看 我再改改........

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发表于 2010-4-10 23:32:07 |只看该作者
抱歉 我觉得自己改了半天好像曲解你的意思了 你先看看 我再改改........
轴轴 发表于 2010-4-10 23:00

谢谢你的修改,我解释一下
token的问题是对的
worse yet 更糟的是,是递进,这是合理的
请注意这句话, they miss the essence=essentical reason. 这是一个委婉的转折,意识是people说的不对,所以后面我来说
people argue 不是我的论点。

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发表于 2010-4-11 01:03:52 |只看该作者
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发表于 2010-4-12 23:55:49 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 forrestlut 于 2010-4-13 16:54 编辑

4.12 .doc (25.5 KB, 下载次数: 11)

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发表于 2010-4-13 13:29:06 |只看该作者
Frankie修改~

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发表于 2010-4-13 14:48:01 |只看该作者
Frankie修改~
Frankie0616 发表于 2010-4-13 13:29

谢谢,我会一一修改的,这篇文章确实粗糙了很多。

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发表于 2010-4-14 11:23:11 |只看该作者
1# forrestlut

4.12 serious and strict teacher is more effective in teaching

Facing with the question that whether a serious and strict teacher is more effective in teaching than a humorous and easygoing one or not
or not 省略句子更紧凑, I come tothe conclusion that basically a humorous and easygoing teacher is better. My reasons are as follow.(开头很简洁!犀利)

Some people argue, "Students lack of self-discipline, so they always be indulge in
(沉溺于。。。没有 berecreations such as TV games, sports instead of study. Only a serious and strict teacher can drag them back to study and make them follow the rules and regulations". Actually, these people miss the essential reason. In fact, the reason that(我想特意强调一下这个句型: the reason why sb do sth is that …注意whythat的位置;
给你100个例句:http://www.jukuu.com/show-reason+why+that-0.html why students
do not put their time into study is that they consider serious teachers are boring and the classes are dull.
(这个观,点好像把责任全加在老师身上,是否有些过?) Think about the study-life of a student: from 8 am to 8 pm or more every day, ranging math, physics, chemistry, biology, etc. Sometimes, they feel tied of study and desire a fun to release pressures. Even through the teacher who is serious and strict may realize students' pressures of studying, he could not has a fun with students or give students a lively class because of his serious characters and lack of humor. At end(in the end), students are not learning but force feeding of knowledge(读不通啊?). In contrast(转折), if the teacher is humorous and easygoing, he could help students release pressures and inspire them continue studying. Therefore, the humorous and easygoing one is better in theaching.

What is teaching? It means teaching not only academic knowledge but life skills such as communication skills, survival skills. It is hard to imagine that a serious teacher can make a poem class or a music class interesting
(顺承). It is also unlikely for students to learn communication skills from a serious teacher. However(转折), if a teacher is humorous and easygoing, the students may consider he a friend instead a teacher. In this case(顺承), they could discuss study problems, telling their funny stories, sharing their experiences. Consequently(结果), through the communication with a humorous and easygoing teacher, students can learn more. (设问开头,引出论点,精彩!)

A humorous and easygoing teacher can give students chances to voice themselves. Students will never hesitate ask any questions to teacher and they never be afraid of failures, as the teacher never blames them. It is especially important to cultivate students' creativities and imaginations.

Therefore, I believe a humorous and easygoing teacher is better to teaching, to students learn more and learn more effective, to cultivate students' creativities and imaginations.

非常精彩的文章,需要学习的地方太多,不一
一列举了,提点小意见,介词搭配注意准确性
搞死T&G!
现在开始行动!

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