lycheee的临死挣扎独立作文……orz

lycheeeUID: 2447890

……好吧终于认真写作文而且厚脸皮发上来了。第一次写，没有限时，字数超标，拼写错误（有很多）自己改掉了……

2010.4.26

Allstudents should be required to take basic science classes even if they are notthis major

Science, which can be usually divided intosocial science and natural science, has grate effect on the whole humansociety. When we go to college, we will choose a subject – most of time willnot be a natural science subject – as our major. But it didn’t mean that we don’tneed to know anything about other subjects. In fact, if everyone have somecommon sense about the both kind of science, our lives will be better. Therefore,even there will be possible to enlarge student’s academic load, I stronglysupport the idea that every college student should be required to take somebasic science classes at first year.

The first reason to take basic science ascompulsory courses is to extend students’ common sense. In china, every highschool student must choose social or natural science as their major at theirgrade two and from then on, students don’t have any chance to learn the otherkind of science. In this case, considering the lacking reading of science as acommon phenomenon in China,it is reasonable to believe that countless students nowadays don’t have enoughcommon sense. Therefore, putting basic science as required classes is the lastchance for education to tell students what is common sense.


In spite of common sense, basic science classesmean more than that. The course we take as a major means that course is what wewant to study in depth, which does not mean that we don’t need to make ageneral understanding on other science subjects. Moreover, general realize ofother subjects can make grate positive effect on personal life. Take psychologyfor instance. Most people, don’t know anything about psychology, believe the socalled “psycho-quiz” at the last few pages of popular magazines makes sense totheir lives. Their emotions stay ups and downs because of the quiz, and they havestereotype on some people, and even serious prejudice due to the quiz’s nonsenseexplanation. But they don’t know human is not a fixed structure: everyone hastheir shining point and every cloud has their silver brink. If you know littleabout psychology, you can not understanding that the one who treat you badly issimply because of every time you bothered him at a bad time; when you are beingtrapped in a trouble, you will not understand what goes wrong but rather beingdepressed. If you are acknowledged on basic psychology, you can understand howhuman interactive with each other and know how to make the interactive moresmoothly, and live a happier live.

What’s more, if we have some kinds of basicscience, we can make some different on the earth. The most obvious example isearth science, understanding which can make us using resources of the earthmore reasonable and know how to heal our earth from being polluted. If most ofpeople on the earth know what disastrous results happening today 50 years ago –extinctions of species, pollutions of environment, spread of diseases, worsenof living, shortage of fuel – I can hardly imagine that whether there stillwill be so crazily booming industralization in china. However, what comfort mea little is that more and more people realize the importance of protectingenvironment. They know the consequence of uncontrolled building factories and emitpolluted waste and they’re taking action, such as saving water and otherenergy, deny using products not environmental friendly, to change the presentsituation.

Some people might doubt that compulsorybasic science will extend students studying load. As a matter of fact, it isplausible to be a travail if force all student to learn the same basic science.In my opinion, students should have right to choose which basic science classesto take, and if they can prove they have enough common sense – for example,taking a common sense test – they have right to not taking any basic classes aswell. In this case, science can actually make our society better.

BriaIFUID: 2515589

Science, which can be usually divided into social science and natural science, has grate(great) effect on the whole human society. When we go to college, we will choose a subject – most of time will not be a natural science subject – as our major(when we go to college, we will choose a subject as our major, and most of the time it would not be a natural science one，酱紫句子更通一点）. But it didn’t mean that we don’tneed to know anything about other subjects. In fact, if everyone have some common sense about the both kind of science, our lives will be better. Therefore,even there will be possible(the possibility) to enlarge student’s academic load(good!), I strongly support the idea that every college student should be required to take somebasic science classes at first year. ' i% u0 t7 d4 A: v3 h' u

# D* `8 ]; b0 V  \* s0 xThe first reason to take basic science as compulsory courses(good!)is to extend students’ common sense. In china, every highschool student must choose social or natural science as their major at their(should be omitted) grade two and from then on, students don’t have any chance to learn the(omitted) other kind of science. In this case, considering the lacking reading of science(considering the lack of reading science literatures) as acommon phenomenon in China,it is reasonable to believe that countless students nowadays don’t have enough common sense. Therefore, putting basic science as required classes is the lastchance for education to tell students what is common sense.


+ B1 ~* t0 ^* [+ T, F% g) O9 n' c; U
# F% C) f& W7 l3 y* a# t' X
In spite of common sense, basic science classesmean more than that. The course we take as a major means that course is what wewant to study in depth, which does not mean that we don’t need to make a general understanding on other science subjects. Moreover, general realize(recognition...wait, here you mean"knowledge" actually) of other subjects can make grate(great) positive effect on personal life. Take psychologyfor instance. Most people, don’t know anything about psychology, believe the so called “psycho-quiz” at the last few pages of popular magazines makes sense to their lives. Their emotions stay ups and downs because of the quiz, and they have stereotype on some people, and even serious prejudice due to the quiz’s nonsenseexplanation. But they don’t know human is not a fixed structure: everyone has their shining point and every cloud has their silver brink. If you know little about psychology, you can not understanding that the one who treat you badly is simply because of every time you bothered him at a bad time; when you are being trapped in a trouble, you will not understand what goes wrong but rather being depressed. If you are acknowledged on basic psychology, you can understand howhuman interactive with each other and know how to make the interactive moresmoothly, and live a happier live.   h. N+ t0 @% |4 p$ g: ]; ?& r
嘿嘿……心理测试的例子不错，新而靠谱~

; v0 \) ?( {: \8 L! yWhat’s more, if we have some kinds of basic science, we can make some different（difference) on the earth. The most obvious example is earth science, understanding which can make us using resources of the earth more reasonable and know how to heal our earth from being polluted. If most of people(most people) on the earth know what disastrous results happening today 50 years ago –extinctions of species, pollutions of environment, spread of diseases, worsen of living, shortage of fuel – I can hardly imagine that(omitted) whether there stillwill be so crazily booming industralization in china. However, what comfort me a little is that more and more people realize the importance of protecting environment. They know the consequence of uncontrolled building factories and emitpolluted waste and they’re taking action, such as saving water and otherenergy, deny using products not environmental friendly, to change the presentsituation. - B# Y8 v$ P( M, g

6 s( ~# w" h, O- {; W$ v. a
Some people might doubt that compulsory basic science will extend students(') studying load. As a matter of fact, it is plausible to be a(omitted, since travial is an adjective) travail if force(forcing) all student to learn the same basic science.In my opinion, students should have right to choose which basic science classes to take, and if they can prove they have enough common sense – for example,taking a common sense test – they have right to not taking any basic classes aswell. In this case, science can actually make our society better.

首先，楼主要有信心哦！第一次写成这样是很不容易的；
其次，也许是没掐时间所以写的有点长的关系，有些地方冗余成分较多，比如您用了三行话
+ B1 ~* t0 ^* [+ T, F% g) O9 n' c; U
# F% C) f& W7 l3 y* a# t' X
In spite of common sense, basic science classesmean more than that. The course we take as a major means that course is what wewant to study in depth, which does not mean that we don’t need to make a general understanding on other science subjects. Moreover, general realize(recognition...wait, here you mean"knowledge" actually) of other subjects can make grate(great) positive effect on personal life.
来引出这段的主题句，其实就是 learning some basic science can make grate(great) positive effect on personal life.所以可以适当的联系将表述变得精简一些；
最后，用词上似乎还是有些生疏哦，不过这个的话除了多写可能还需要多读多背单词等等……
总之，加油！

lycheeeUID: 2447890

楼上改作文的大大说得好 我现在再看一遍也发现写作时间拖得太长的后果就是绕来绕去说不清楚…… = =
死期快到了……希望我的作文能快点好起来……

小学作文第二弹 （继续没掐时间中途去上了个体育课然后吃完晚饭继续写来改去的……orz）
写好后想方设法想压缩都无能为力 好吧我就是个话痨 说起故事来就没完……

Businessmen are only motivated by desire of money, agree or disagree?

When asked about why businessmen to start a business, people may immediately remind that to earn more money – perhaps because of the stereotype of businessman is greedy, inordinately enthusiastic on making money. I won’t deny that some of businessman has purely motivation of desiring money to begin a business, while there are more kinds of businessmen, especially in the young generation. Not only motivated by desire of money, businessmen I knew but also motivated by achieving to their dreams and sharing their hobbies, to transmit their joy and happiness to others.

The most common reason to begin a business to the majority of young businessmen is to achieve their dreams. Form girls’ aspect, every girl has a lovely dream shop – selling beautiful clothes, tasty deserts, interesting books or something like that – but only a few people realizes it, including a young girl, who as well as an illustrator living in my resident - she opened a café-bookshop named “Deby and Rainbow” with the help of an internet activity “this is our dreamy bookshop”. It’s really a dreamy bookshop - the home-like bookshop opens 20 hours a day, selling books (most of them are picture books because of the owner), drinks and cakes - because of which the girl even became some kind of celebrity. When asked about why to open the lovely bookshop by newspapers, she simply answered: “The overnight café-bookshop is a dream of mine and many young people; I just make it come true for us with helps from friends.”

Sharing their hobbies, which is another reason why people start a business is becoming general because of the lower cost of starting a business. Young people usually open an internet-shop or rent a lattice-shape showcase to display the things they want to sell and meet friends in passing: from rare copies of CDs or comic books to hand made clothes for dolls. If they became success, they can own a real shop or even a brand. I know a skateboard shop outside the mid-china normal university is like that. At first, as a skateboard fan, the owner just sold some skateboard stickers on internet. But then, after he acquainted more and more skateboard fans and helped them to find good boards as well as arranged some activities, he decided to open his own shop to sell skateboard and meet other skateboard fans. He succeeded and the shop became a famous club to meet other skateboard fan in that neighborhood.

Someone questions the non-money-motivated business can sustain in the severe competitive market and make a deduction that this kind of business does not exist. Like the traditional business, it is ordinary that some business closed. But some innovative business still survived and make good profit – in fact, the bookshop I mentioned above is planning to open a branch. Despite of the smaller possibility of being very rich than traditional one, young generation businessmen keeps actualizing their dream and willing to share their happiness to customers as well as making some money to actualize more dreams. With the increasingly number of young people participating to the dream-come-true business, the traditional stereotype of greedy businessmen will be changed and the era of pure money-motivated business will pass.

lycheeeUID: 2447890

所以我真是不会写作文……从小到大作文差……
这次试着卡时间 还是超了差不多10分钟……

4.28It is important to know the event happening around the world that not affect your daily life, do you agree or disagree?


if you ask people why they read the foreign news page of newspaper, the answers might be interesting: some people read it because of they do foreign trade or have money in foreign stock markets; others read it totally unconsciously because they're accustomed to read every page of a piece of newspaper; i knew some people, who even go more extreme, don't read the foreign page at all because they believe that knowing events happening far away from them is the least importance thing to them. i cannot deny that argument is reasonable - it seems that the happening faraway is not of our business. in my perspective,  to most people, it is necessary to know events happening around the world sometimes but it is not important all the time.

as i mentioned above, some people is necessary to read newspaper about affairs happening in foreign countries. for instance, the person who does foreign trade, is especially necessary to read newspaper of countries he invested. he must know what is popular in that country, the changing climate, the policy making, the economics status, all the things like that affect his investment. if he don't know which direction is the wind blowing from , his business have grate possibility to be failed.

as an ordinary person, knowing foreign events is not so important, but sometimes necessary. what will it be if you know that a traffic accident happened abroad? nothing.  what about ten, or even hundreds traffic accidents, with the cars in the accidents is "happened to" made by the same manufactory? that's the "toyota scandal". in recent days the severe soaring critics are referring to the japanese manufacturers’ poor design in the u.s.. even the truth of the accidents is still unknown, i'm fear of any toyota. if you don't read any foreign news, you'll absolutely don't know anything about the unstable, unreliable quality of the manufacturers i'm feeling about.

all in all, even it seems not so important to know foreign news, in case of conditions like " toyota scandal", we'd better know a little about it.

wyl_stevenUID: 2728535

Businessmen are only motivated by desire of money, agree or disagree? 7 Y6 x7 W" A0 y* h

# c0 r! |2 V) |6 g7 T# UWhen asked about why businessmen to start a business, people may immediately remind that to earn more money – perhaps because of the stereotype of businessman is greedy, inordinately enthusiastic on making money. I won’t deny that some of businessman has purely motivation of desiring money to begin a business, while there are more kinds of businessmen, especially in the young generation. Not only motivated by desire of money, businessmen I knew but also motivated by achieving to their dreams and sharing their hobbies,(标点！删去) to transmit （spread）their joy and happiness to others.
3 Z+ c4 I5 L  s8 j/ L! Y$ R* U; N9 ~5 \4 j$ q8 S/ c8 O5 ?
The most common reason to begin a business to the majority of young businessmen is to achieve their dreams.(句式换一下吧，很中式) Form girls’ aspect, every girl has a lovely dream,running a small shop – selling beautiful clothes, tasty deserts, interesting books or something like that – but only a few people realizes it, (换成两句写吧)including a young girl, who as well as an illustrator living in my resident（residential lot  ） - she opened a café-bookshop named “Deby and Rainbow” with the help of an internet activity “this is our dreamy bookshop”. It’s really a dreamy bookshop - the home-like bookshop opens 20 hours a day, selling books (most of them are picture books because of the owner), drinks and cakes - because of which the girl even became some kind of celebrity. When asked about why to open the lovely bookshop by newspapers, she simply answered: “The overnight café-bookshop is a dream of mine and many young people; I just make it come true for us with helps from friends.”' ^& a! z: R/ s7 r& e

* P- {8 U. m: Q( z* H, ISharing their hobbies, which is another reason why people start a business is becoming general（generally acknowledged ） .because of the lower cost of starting a business. Young people usually open an internet-shop or rent a lattice-shape showcase to display the things they want to sell and meet friends in passing: from rare copies of CDs or comic books to hand made clothes for dolls. If they became success, they can own a real shop or even a brand. I know a skateboard shop outside the mid-china normal university is like that. At first, as a skateboard fan, the owner just sold some skateboard stickers on internet. But then, after he acquainted with more and more skateboard fans and they helped them to find good boards as well as arranged some activities, he decided to open his own shop to sell skateboard and meet other skateboard fans. He succeeded and the shop became a famous club to meet other skateboard fan in that neighborhood.
& \, q; M; Z! S" F9 s. E+ X
8 N2 F! t* T3 [0 }6 aSomeone questions whether the non-money-motivated business can sustain in the severe competitive market and makes a deduction that this kind of business does not exist. Like the traditional business, it is ordinary that some business closed. But some innovative business still survived and make good profit – in fact, the bookshop I mentioned above is planning to open a branch. Despite of the smaller possibility of being very rich than traditional one, young generation businessmen keeps actualizing their dream and willing to share their happiness to customers as well as making some money to actualize more dreams. With the increasingly number of young people participating to the dream-come-true business, the traditional stereotype of greedy businessmen will be changed and the era of pure money-motivated business will pass.

其实楼主的基础还是不错的~ 但是确实要加油… 不是很简练
你的例子写的很有意思~

lycheeeUID: 2447890

6# wyl_steven

楼上所言甚是 我会努力修炼句法的了~ 这几天都在看讲句子的东西……要是能用上就好了……
谢谢楼上各位的评改~ 我会加油的~

canoe03UID: 2786666

if you ask people why they read the foreign news page of newspaper, the answers might be interesting: some people read it because of they do foreign trade or have money in foreign stock markets; others read it totally unconsciously because they're accustomed to read every page of a piece of newspaper; (这里最好加一个转折词，因为后面是提到那些完全不读报纸的人，比如说however)i knew(know与后面的时态不一致) some people, who even go more extreme(extremely), don't read the foreign page at all because they believe that knowing events happening far away from them is the least importance thing to them. i cannot deny that argument is reasonable - it seems that the happening far away is not of(of可以去掉？) our business. in my perspective,
to(for) most people, it is necessary to know events happening(楼主尽可多用一些词替换happen，比如说take place, occur之类的) around the world sometimes but it is not important all the time.(这句话读起来有些别扭，)

as i mentioned(这里的时态和后面的又不一样，不知道可不可以这样) above, some people is(are) necessary to read newspaper about affairs happening in foreign countries. for instance, the person who does foreign trade, is especially necessary to read newspaper of countries he invested. he must know what is popular in that country, the changing climate, the policy making, the economics status, all the things like that affect his investment. if he don't(doesn’t) know which direction is the wind blowing from , his business have grate(什么意思？看不懂) possibility to be failed.

as an ordinary person, knowing foreign events is not so important, but sometimes necessary. what will it be if you know that a traffic accident happened abroad? Nothing(如果简单的用一个nothing貌似不大由说服力).
what about ten, or even hundreds traffic accidents, with the cars in the accidents is "happened to" made by the same manufactory(manufactured by the same company, manufactory是制造厂的意思，楼主表达的意思应该是“由同样一家公司制造)? that's the "toyota scandal". in recent days the severe soaring critics are referring to the japanese manufacturers’ poor design in the u.s(呵呵，楼主没写下去吧？丰田的召回门应该是突然加速的问题).. even the truth of the accidents is still unknown, i'm fear of any toyota. if you don't read any foreign news, you'll absolutely don't know anything about the unstable, unreliable quality of the manufacturers i'm feeling about(>.<! 这里我也读不懂楼主的意思).

all in all, even it seems not so important to know foreign news, in case of(in case of 的意思是假设、万一，楼主使用词组的时候小心！) the condition of toyota scandal(这里我又看不懂了！), we'd better know a little about it.

(楼主控制时间写作，值得鼓励！但是个人还是觉得根据考场来，该大写的还是大写哦！文章中也有些语法错误，尤其是时态。还有，楼主用的一些词的重复率比较高，比如说happen和necessary，可用些其他的词换着用下J. 楼主的表达也有些欠缺，我建议楼主还是多看看英语网站的科普、新闻之类的文章，要精读！最后结尾也弱了点儿。我的水平也不怎么样，说错了请多多包涵！J)

lycheeeUID: 2447890

楼上说得是~ 得精读些真正的英文社论学习下才行……
另外……笔误忒多……谢谢楼上一一改正……提笔就错这个问题需要克服……

29号的题目貌似只有我写……现在发上来……

这次再次没有控制时间，主要是避免重复用词和注意句子结构……希望这个比较不丢人……

4.29 Do you agree or disagree a serious and strict teacher is more effective than a teacher with humor and is easygoing


whether the teacher of a certain course is serious or easy-going seems to become one of the most important aspects when choosing subjects by college students. it can not be denied that choosing classes should consider a lot of factors including to choose a proper teaching style. however, i do not think that students, who choose a easy-going teacher, only because of he is more accustomed to the teaching style; in fact, i believe those who care about what teaching style is more than anything else are the ones who are lazy and lack of self-discipline. from my own experience, choosing a serious teacher sometimes is more wiser for studying new knowledge. there are some explanations following.
first, serious teachers are more likely to ask for class attendance and hand on assignments on time, which is the most effective way to fight against our idleness. it is inevitable that everyone want to live as leisurely as possible and evade hard work, the basic method to acquire a skill. the idleness like this is the most common obstacle to prevent us to learn, while with a serious teacher, we has grate plausible to fight against it.  
second, serious teachers usually has strong theoretical knowledge and a strict, full-considered teaching plan. the compact structure of teaching plays an significant role, especially when are studying a entirely new or fundamental subject. moreover, if we can not acquire the elementary knowledge of a subject, the following research in depth is hard to proceed, which situation will probably be avoided if we are taught by a strict teacher.

although the benefits above of choosing a serious teacher are obvious, some people claim that teachers who are too strict will destroy interests and can not provide enough room for students to doing their own research because students will be exhausted to follow the courses. I think the worry is reasonable and therefore, as for me, i prefer to choose a strict teacher when i would learn a basic subject and choose a more flexible one on further studying.

lycheeeUID: 2447890

昨晚实在是太困没写完· 现在得去上课了…… 晚上下课回来再补完……不介意的大大们可以帮我看下这开头和论证的第一段……
我是一边写一边改的所以……耗时比较久…… Orz



5.1 Do you agree or disagree the followingstatement? Modern society has become more complex, so it is essential for theyoung people to have the ability to plan and organize.



In recent years, people are more aware ofthe importance of the ability to plan and organize. This condition can bereflected by the best seller in non-fictional books are always about timemanagement or self-discipline, and the high occurrence-rate of psychologicalanxiety and depression in ordinary people makes the society alert of thepressure of living, especially for the young people who just or going into thecommunity. Only do they plan their future carefully and organize theirresources legimately can they achieve their goals and live without mentalproblems.



Young people are under the pressure of high expectationsto live in dignity. While the mainstream measures success with wealth, if theyouth do not make up their minds, they will be lost in the serious competitionsabout making money as a primary way to earn other's respect. Let's take youngemployees for example. To assure their salary, they need to be more competitiveto show their irreplaceable value in a career, which situation leads to work overtimeand anxious. The serious competition narrowed people's horizon and let themforget what their most wanted is not only to win but also to achieve their fulfillment.Therefore, to avoid merging with the mainstream, young people should plan theirfuture and hold it in their mind.

DaisyTwinsUID: 2797670

4.29

Whether the teacher of acertain course is serious or easy-going seems to become one of the mostimportant aspects when choosing subjects by college students. It cannot be denied that to choose a class shouldconsider a lot of factors including choosing a proper teaching style. However, Ido not think that students, who choose an easy-going teacher,（楼主这里缺少一个完整的句子） only because （楼主注意下跟becauseof后词的词性）heis more accustomed to the teaching style; in fact, I believe that those whocare about what teaching style is more essential or much heavier 这边漏了个修辞词吧thananything else are the ones who are lazy and lack of self-discipline.楼主写这种复杂的从句要注意下语法，我的语法也不是很好所以没办法帮你改这边，就感觉不是很顺。
From my own experience, choosing a serious teacher sometimesis much wiser for studying new knowledge. There are some explanationsfollowing. ) }( J%V6 O& z7 D" l6 ]7 S! `
first, serious teachers are more likely to ask for class attendance and hand onassignments on time, which is the most effective way to fight against ouridleness. it is inevitable that everyone want to live as leisurely as possibleand evade hard work, the basic method is to acquire a skill. the idleness likethis is the most common obstacle to prevent us to continue learning, while witha serious teacher, we has great plausible to fight against it.  ( G. U( v8 h$ G: x# `) q;J
second, serious teachers usually has strong theoretical knowledge and a strict,full-considered teaching plan. the compact structure of teaching plays ansignificant role, especially when are studying a entirely new or fundamentalsubject. moreover, if we can not acquire the elementary knowledge of a subject,the following research in depth is hard to proceed, which situation willprobably be avoided if we are taught by a strict teacher.
- t: c1 F; U$ ~5 x' c- `/ r0 L/ E8 u; x
although the benefits above of choosing a serious teacher are obvious, somepeople claim that teachers who are too strict will destroy student’s interestsand can not provide enough room for students to doing their own researchbecause students would be exhausted to follow the courses. I think the worry isreasonable and therefore, as for me, i prefer to choose a strict teacher when iwould learn a basic subject and choose a more flexible one on further studying结尾挺好的

这篇还不错，理由也用的挺好的，就是楼主在写复杂的句式时要注意语法否则会有点看不懂。

canoe03UID: 2786666

In recent years, people are more aware of the importance of the ability to plan and organize. This condition can be reflected by the best seller in(of) non-fictional books (that) are always about time management or self-discipline, and the high occurrence-rate of psychological anxiety and depression in(of) ordinary(common，ordinary指事物) people makes the society alert of the pressure of living这个从句看不懂啦), especially for the young people who just or(介个or放在这里做什么用的看不懂) going into the community(楼主指的是步入社会吗？也许用step into society比较合适). Only do they plan their future carefully and organize their resources legimately(legitimately, 楼主是不是想写这个词呢？) can they achieve their goals and live without mental problems(diseases).


Young people are under the pressure of high expectations to live in dignity. While the mainstream measures success with wealth, if the youth do not make up their minds, they will be lost in the serious competitions about making money as a primary way to earn other's respect. Let's take young employees for example(take … as example). To assure their salary, they need to be more competitive to show their irreplaceable value(什么意思呢？如果楼主想说某职位不可替代，可用irreplaceability of a position) in a career, which situation(situation of which) leads to work overtime and anxious(work是动词，此处应用副词). The serious competition narrowed people's horizon and let them forget what their most wanted is not only to win but also to achieve their fulfillment(goal). Therefore, to avoid merging with the mainstream, young people should plan their future and hold it in their mind.
(看得出来楼主很努力写作了，也有很多进步了，恭喜。但是表达仍然不是很地道，因为文章未写完，整体结构还不是很明显，还存在些语法问题，加油哦！)

wyl_stevenUID: 2728535

5.1 Do you agree or disagree the followingstatement? Modern society has become more complex, so it is essential for theyoung people to have the ability to plan and organize.
% G  O# h1 M  `5 Z. ]4 D2 K
9 D4 M2 R* v& ^" a  k + D9 }* `: @  j+ M# V" H

In recent years, people are more aware of the importance of the ability to plan and organize. This condition can bereflected by the best seller in non-fictional books which are always about timemanagement or self-discipline, and the high occurrence-rate of psychological anxiety and depression in ordinary people makes the society alert to thepressure of living, especially for the young people who just or going into thecommunity(society). Only do they plan their future carefully and organize theirresources legimately(这个单词是什么意思？legitimately?) can they achieve their goals and live without mental problems（without problems,such as mental disease 是这个意思吗？你那样写的话 就跑题了 ）.
  g3 \) X1 i7 W8 G5 v* a2 n, `9 [/ F" `/ m- m% M

- k( Z; u$ Z  b' m0 J8 N) q3 E8 H: _8 C& ^8 c6 v+ I
As we all know(加个这样的连词更自然一些)，Young people are under the pressure of high expectations (to live in dignity 修饰expectations 吧？可是上面的句子已经完整了 这样写 high expectations,live with dignity. 注意用with 。这样做同位语就ok啦). While(because) the mainstream measures success with wealth, if the youth do not make up their minds to organized a future plan ,they will be lost in the serious competitionsabout making money as a primary way to earn other's respect. (as 换成,)Lets take youngemployees for example. To assure their salary, they need to be more competitiveto show their irreplaceable value in a career, which situation leads to work overtimeand anxious. The serious competition narrowed people's horizon and let themforget what their most wanted is not only to win but also to achieve their fulfillment.(both and or not only but also， will be better)Therefore, to avoid this happened , young people should plan theirfuture and hold it in their mind.
(这样更有一些逻辑，你已经给出原因了narrow horizon…… 所以应该避免这样才要好好计划 merging …… 有点绕 老外喜欢直接)
因为没写完，所以我就一句一句改的， 我是个人意见，欢迎拍砖给我~  

lycheeeUID: 2447890

昨晚写好 今天发……

5.2   09.7.25北美
Being creative， rather than planning carefully， will come up with best solution to a problem


To the argument that to make a best solution is more depend on creativity or planning well, I have the idea that both are equally important when solving problems. To be careful and to be creative, as the two major characteristics to be a good decision, have significant effects on results.

Planning well should be taken into priority for it increases the rate of success when solving a problem. A well plan, supposed to include preparations before setting up, procedures when the plan is on-going, and strategies when emergencies happen. Following the steps will ensure not making mistakes and leading to a best result. For example, when the swine-flu spread in my country, the government started an urgent plan. It is effective: in one hand, the methods imposed at that time, like all the infected people should be isolated on time, schools stopped making major activities, the number of infected should be proclaimed, everyone's body temperature should be checked at least once a day, were effectively control the spread of the disease; for another, the plan is careful and practical, which made everyone to follow it. As a result, the epidemic disease was under control and the ordinary people became less anxious about being infected.


However, as an old saying, nobody knows what will happen tomorrow, even the most well-planed strategy is impossible to predict all the urgent situations beforehand, not to mention to find proper ways to solute them. If we meet an unexpected situation, which haven't encounter before and have no experience to refer, the result depends on your creativeness mostly. Take it for instances, we all heard about stories about how smart managers make a dying company come to alive: some change the target market, some revise the structure of company, some regular the staff discipline and so on. No matter what tactic they use, a only thing what their in common is: the solution is out of frame. From information I collected for years, only can a creative person lead to a best result when the problem comes to the worst.


Planning well can control all the things and ensure the solution to be go on; when the situation becomes uncontrollable, the most plausible way to get a best result should be creativity. Thus, I consider planning is as importance as creativity when solving a problem.